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ToLiveandDieinNJ wrote:

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Met a chick online. Told me she was 33, but she looked pretty good. I get to the crib, and she must've used pics from when she was 25 or something. Anyway, she made me dinner, but it took me longer than anticipated to get there, so she had ate already. She stared at me and watched me eat. She also failed to mention that she lived with her cousin and 7 yr old nephew. Also failed to mention, that her bedroom was the living room with a big curtain, and that the cable that the curtain hung on was broken. So I'm there about an hour and we're watching a movie on the couch with the lil kid, doing kid things. Her cousin offered up her bedroom to us and slept on the couch. So we smash, and I must admit the P was super tight, she told me she hadn't been w/ a dude in 2 years. IDk about all that, but the P was def nice.

We were up pretty late messing around, next morning she wakes me up, and just basically takes it with me on my back, squeezed it at the base and just jumped on. I busted in like 3mins, and wasn't even sure if I came, she was so violent. We went out to lunch and came back and this kid is showing me all his artwork, and they are telling me, he's usually so quiet and doesn't open up to people. So now I'm just feeling awkward,(knowing that I'd never go back there) I also fixed the subwoofer on her cousin's surround sound, it was unplugged, I also fixed the bathroom sink, and thru out the whole afternoon, we're sitting on the couch and she kept saying "I wanna jump your bones", in front of her cousin and nephew, and it just made me so uncomfortable. After about the 17th time saying it, and realizing I wasn't receptive, she started saying, I guess I'm never going to see you again. It was just freaking weird. Oh I also shoveled, the bottom of their driveway, because they did a horrendous job shoveling, and my car got stuck trying to pulling out when we had went to lunch. It was just a bizarre friday night/sat, she also tried to have me stay Saturday night, but I said my boy owed me money and was ready to pay me back, just so I could leave, she was in CT and I live in NJ.

Met another chick online, really cute, a lil chubby and very busty. Anyway, exchanged phone #s and texted back and forth, randomly out of nowhere she texted me a couple shots of her boobs and coochie. I was busy doing something so I didn't see the texts for like 30mins and she thought she offended me and started apologizing, so instead of saying anything back, I just sent a pic of my meat and she told me that she would worship it. (1st warning she is a crazy), so we proceed to text the rest of the week and make plans to meet that Friday for dinner. I offered multiple times to pick her up at her house but she was like nah, I don't sleep with guys on the 1st date. We meet at the restaurant and as soon as she sees me, she says I'm cuter in person and starts pinching my butt. Anyway we eat, and I walk her back to her car, before I can ask if she wants to grab a drink or something, she's like "So are you coming over?" I get to her crib, and she has 3 parrots, and all of them have no feathers but their heads and tails, and she calls them her babies and was feeding them her left over cheeseburger (2nd crazy sign, the birds were tweaked out). she then proceeds to tell me about her miscarried baby she had 5 yrs ago, referring to her daughter and telling me about her ex (3rd sign). Anyway she had said something previously to me about burning, so I brought an eL of some nice bud and got her roasted, next thing you know, we're making out. She randomly starts laughing and says no guy ever kisses her this much and she usually is sucking D by now. I'm like oh jeez, and then just start to strip her and get it in. And after she said all that, I wasn't feeling her anymore, and I just couldn't bust, after about 35mins I finally, nut and I was hitting it doggy and pulled out and literally filled the small of her back with jizz, she starts giggling saying, she's never felt that much on her body. Fast forward, the birds are in the other room making the most loud obnoxious noises, I keep hitting my head on that doorway to her bedroom, bc she lived in a weird apt, we smash again. and it's like 5am, we go out to smoke a cig and I prepare to leave, she's like "oh you're not sleeping over?" and I'm like nah, I'll just zip home, i live about 40mins away from her. So I leave, and about 15mins later she texts me that, she misses me, (crazy sign 4), We keep texting thru the week again, and I just lose interest. She flips the full on crazy switch and said "I can't believe, I thought I could love you" and I just lost it and kept trolling her, this lead to a text battle and she would text me something bananas and then I'd reply and she say stop texting me, and then text again, at one point she told me I couldn't bust because of pot and I needed rehab, lol. This went on for like half a day and I just kept finding it more and more funny so I kept egging her on. She then said she was calling the police and I'm like go for it, you keep texting me idiot and then she threatened to call my parents and tell them I'm harrassing her. Mind you I'm 27, so I google her last name and the town where told me she's from, and find her parent's phone number and just text it to her. After that she just said, I'm sorry and never bugged me again. Chick was nuts.