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[This is inspired by a few other threads made here lately.] You're stuck on this island for life. Only you and the two below named individuals are on the island. Rules: -Masturbation is NOT allowed. -You are required to bust a nut in order to receive your daily supply of food and water...

Avoided what could have been a deadly head on car collision on my way from work an hour ago. I usually leave work at 5pm but stayed in the office to look over and edit my girlfriend's 30 page grad school assignment. I went through all 30 pages and inserted my edits and comments. As soon as I try...