NT late night, thought I'd never do this but... girl problems. Vol. Infinity

My girl and I have been together for about 4 months now. I think I know the answer, but I think me being a stubborn 20 y/o won't admit it. Break-up seemsto be the only option, but here goes, I'll try to make it short and provide cliff notes for the lazy bums.

Like most girls, is emotional, but this one has a complicated past, not going to get into details but she's been hurt before. She tends to rely on weed toget her out of bad moods or negative thoughts about what has happened to her in the past... to give her an "escape". I do NOT smoke, but some of herfriends have and do, but are well aware of my disposition for the greenery. Since being together, she has blazed a LOT less, like maybe once every 3 weeks orso. For this, I truly appreciate it because she used to be an everyday head. Going from everyday to every blue moon is a huge thing, especially for somethingshe relies on.

Over this time, I've learned more and more about her, and realized when she gets in these "depressed" like moods about her past or about how"much better my life is on track" than hers, that I can only just leave her be, and give her time to come back to me and come back to her senses.

We broke up a month after we were together because she felt I had it together way better than she did and that she was too much for me to handle emotionallygiven my current work and school situation (work all the time and have 17 credit semesters). She immediately missed me, and I told her I'd need some timeto think. 3 weeks later, we were back together, after I had seen some significant emotional changes in her.

Things have been pretty good with the exception of a few drunken nights. Every time she drinks = emotions run high = gets angry with me for no reason = I haveto calm her down somehow.

We spent the weekend at a major college for halloween where she got more drunk than I, and I tried to watch out for her from receiving booty slaps and boobgrabs and such... I mean, it was halloween. She felt I was trying to control her, when I was simply trying to protect her, and shield her from unwantedtouchers. Needless to say, that was about 2 hours of crying from her.

Nothing happened again until 3 weeks ago at a friend's party where I showed up late to, and she was trashed by the time I got there. I tried to watch herdrinking cause it looked like she was about to puke, and that turned into 3 hours of taking her keys away, her fighting me, telling me to "get the F outof her way, etc.", until I was finally able to drive her home.

Flash forward to tonight, great night at a friend's house drinking, we bounce kinda early cause she's drunk, and she's cool with it, but I get afull breakdown of why she's emotional and why she depends on weed to get by for about 20 minutes, but things were okay. I really listened. She came homewith me and we continued talking. Out of nowhere she decides her past experiences were too much for me to handle or for her to be around me so she insists ondriving drunk back home. (Mind you, she already has a reckless driving for the night we first broke up that she has yet to pay or go to court for, she wasactually semi-drunk but the cop was nice and let her off). I let her bounce but I drop her purse because she says "Just go back to bed, I don't needyou, I've done this for over 20 years by myself, with no one else's help (something she says all the time)" She gets pissed and rolls.

Now I'm left here thinking, is this really worth it? Why am I so stressed over this broad? We have so much in common, and get along so well, it's justwhen she drinks, she wild's out and is uncontrollable. I only drink probably twice a month. I know how I get, and prefer to play it safe. What to do NT?

Cliff Notes:
GF of 4 months, I'm 20, junior in college
Relationship is great with the exception of the nights the GF drinks
She gets emotional too easily, mostly when drunk
Broke up once b/c I couldnt handle the emotions
Thought there was change, for at least a few months, now it's back to the same stuff
Depends on weed to deal with problems, I never smoke, and never have planned on it.

I know how you feel bruh....

you get to the point where you dont know what to do/say after the emotions are shown...

I usually sit there quiet when my girl starts exploding with emotions....but than she goes more and says i dont care.

PICS???

All these girl problems these past couple of days.

Thanks for the cliff notes.

Just be straight up with your girl.Tell her things got to change or your gonna bounce.

Nope. I'm not putting her on blast like that. This is a serious topic for me, and I'm actually torn on what to do. My best friends are all out drunk soI can't have this conversation with them.

Animal, I try to be there and understand, and for the most part, I do. I'm trying to give her space with the weed, it's gonna take her time to fullyget rid of it, but I'm still perceived as the enemy. Don't know what to do.

If you two have mustered the power to break up once don't bother trying to exacerbate an already crummy situation. Move along.

Explain it to her. Maybe she will cut out the drinking the same way she did with the trees.
She showed you once she kinda can control it, maybe she can do it again.
Now for the emotions, if you wanna be with her you have to handle it and know that those things are gonna be there.

didn't read a thing but LETS GO RONNNNNNNNNNNNNNIEEEEEEEEe

shorty has too much baggage just let her be and do your own thing
ask yourself is it worth it?

Well, this may not be the best advice, but I do think that if you're trying to make an attempt at keeping a steady relationship with her;while she isn't, then I guess you should just drop it....

Unless you're able to cope with her emotions,and are willing to deal wither, then both of you should try to work it out.

Sorry if my advice doesn't help as much.....

Ok, so she played w/ your butthole and you liked it, but you don't know how to feel about it. You're wondering if you're like 1/5th gay now.

Right, just let her know what's going on.

If she really loves you, she'll understand.

Originally Posted by dreClark

Ok, so she played w/ your butthole and you liked it, but you don't know how to feel about it. You're wondering if you're like 1/5th gay now.

Right, just let her know what's going on.

If she really loves you, she'll understand.

Click to expand...

Scripture of a closeted homosexual.

Originally Posted by Phinsfan13

My best friends are all out drunk so I can't have this conversation with them.

Click to expand...

That's a good thing that u didn't consult w/ them. Ur friends will have a biased opinion especially the ones who aint had a girl inyears. But seriously, I can tell u feelin her, just not her ways ofdealin w/ problems. Her problems are suppressed in her subconscious from a deep past and she has had problems handlin them. If u truly wanna make it work w/her then sit her down and keep it funky w/ her. If yall had sex already (which I'm pretty sure yall did) then it will complicate things more. But talk toher. What u need to do is tell her that u do care and continue the conversation while yall are both (more importantly her) are sober. Really sit down and talkb/c it clearly is a problem w/ men in her past whether it be her father, ex-b/f, etc. If u really like her, even as a friend then u should try ur best to helpher. But at the same time let her know that u can't help if she doesn't wanna be helped, that is key. Let her know how u really feel about the drinkinand what not. Get her to face her problems sober so she don't need to resort to drinkin and smokin. At the end of it all, whether yall stay together ornot, make the effort. U'll be surprised at what u even learn about urself.

Ok your a Dolphins fan so I'm gonna tell you how it is, straight up, in the crudest way possible. You're acting like a little %$%+*, you let your girlget drunk and treat you like @*#!, you need to grow a pair, you shouldn't take that @*#! from a woman, and no woman should take that @*#! from a man. Youshould know there is a problem when your girl drinks more and does more drugs than you. Find yourself a girl that becomes horny and wants to %%%$ when shedrinks, not a maniacal %$%+*.

WHOA WHOA WHOA, thats a essay.

I would go with a very well worded and ultimatum.

1st you have to recognize that your girl is an addict and all the associated behaviors that go along with being an addict
2nd then you have to make the decision if you want to stick around for all that crap


personally...I'd suggest she go get professional counseling or you're through....and then stick to your decision no matter what

Originally Posted by Dade County

Ok your a Dolphins fan so I'm gonna tell you how it is, straight up, in the crudest way possible. You're acting like a little %$%+*, you let your girl get drunk and treat you like @*#!, you need to grow a pair, you shouldn't take that @*#! from a woman, and no woman should take that @*#! from a man. You should know there is a problem when your girl drinks more and does more drugs than you. Find yourself a girl that becomes horny and wants to %%%$ when she drinks, not a maniacal %$%+*.

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good call

I'm not sure if she is a full out addict as Dirty says so I'm leaning towards talking to her before seeking professional help. I mean it just seemsthat the only times you've mentioned to her that her drinking bothered you was when she was already drunk. I suggest when she gets sobered up, you canexplain to her the same situations you've giving us and see how she reacts. Explain to her how she reacted when you were only trying to help/protect her.If she seems legitimately bothered by her actions when inebriated, then I think she will probably try to correct her problems, based on her past weed habit. Ialso suggest that maybe you should let her friends know that you are worried about her. I'm not sure how her friends will react so you are the only onethat will know. But if they are indeed friends then they should understand and help keep your girl on track and watch out for her. I wouldn't give up hopeyet because you seem to really like the girl.

Im gonna have to agree with Dirty...

he did kinda make me realize she could be an addict unless ofcourse.....shes a 10/10.....than shes ok!

dont really think there is any need for professional help. when your young dealing with your problems, alcohol or drugs is very common esp when you have notfully matured. Its clear you care for her and its seems like you in her life is helping her out on her way to recover from any emotional scars. Its easy to getfed up with her when shes acting emotional when she drinks but its hard to get rational and let her go. you just need to let her know whats up while you guysare sober like the next morning after all the drama say "you gave me a hard time last night, dont think i can put up with it anymore" , put the ballin her court, because its clear you want to be with her but as of right now its not so clear she is ready to be with you. Ive been in similar situations and iwas able to fix the problem by just talking it out, i was like you and it did take a couple of agonizing nights for me to realize this either has to stop orthis just won't work out. In the end it did work out, and i wish you the best.

I read the whole thing but I don't even feel like reading the paragraphs other people posted .
Good luck working it out bro. Just keep at it, making her stop getting all emotional. If you see progress, then why not. Just remember, don't stress, knowit's the right thing to do.

man that's a tricky and tough situation you got.

So in my opinion if you really like her what you have to do is assure her that the problems in the past. And if it has to do with a dude that you will never dothat to her. The past won't change it will be there forever and to harp on them will only make it worse. You also have to convince her that you want tomove forward with her, but the way she handles the problems are making it worse for the both of you, but you wanna be there and you wanna help her through it.Lastly convince her she doesn't need the alcohol or the weed as a crutch to get through it, convince her that she can do it herself with you by her side.

I mean it seems from the way you say it that you wanna be with her, but her depression is f'in it up, Don't throw it away because of her past (the wayshe handles it), try and see if you can change the present and the future so the past is obsolete. From her perspective I think she believes that you don'twant to be there that you may be insensitive to what she went through (i am not saying you are) What you have to do is show you are there for here no matterwhat and you don't plan on going anywhere soon, that you can make her life better, etc. When someone is in depression mode they need someone to be therebut they fight off everyone you have to show you won't let this ruin your relationship and worst of all her life..

Hope that helps and good luck