Generic Boy problems thread Vol. probably the first

Originally Posted by IM A HELION

Originally Posted by blackmagnus514

And if that's not the most obvious rule of dating and life in general....

"Left me confused, I messed with chicks that was best when abused, Nice guys finish last with they special set of rules"....

Half the times...all that advice on how to treat women is outdated and given by people of a different generation. In 08, dating is a huge gamble as it is...the game done changed. You don't gotta be a douche all the time but you definitely can't be a simp either.
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And findin that middle ground between douche and simp is one of the biggest reasons men become jaded when it comes to the females...they get frustrated, adopt the MOB slogan, and say to hell with it. IMO, that is a testament to how ridiculous the datin game is right now...*$%* definitely ain't simple no more because you got pimps and players on BOTH sides of the line of scrimmage. Lloyd dumb %$$ talkin bout the "year of the lover"...well if '08 was that year, '09 finna be the "year of the bachelor." Real talk.
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take heed to these post kids
 
Originally Posted by DearWinter219

Honesty is overrated... most girls, no, most people in general can't handle it.
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boi ain't neva lied
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Originally Posted by IM A HELION

Originally Posted by blackmagnus514

And if that's not the most obvious rule of dating and life in general....

"Left me confused, I messed with chicks that was best when abused, Nice guys finish last with they special set of rules"....

Half the times...all that advice on how to treat women is outdated and given by people of a different generation. In 08, dating is a huge gamble as it is...the game done changed. You don't gotta be a douche all the time but you definitely can't be a simp either.
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And findin that middle ground between douche and simp is one of the biggest reasons men become jaded when it comes to the females...they get frustrated, adopt the MOB slogan, and say to hell with it. IMO, that is a testament to how ridiculous the datin game is right now...*$%* definitely ain't simple no more because you got pimps and players on BOTH sides of the line of scrimmage. Lloyd dumb %$$ talkin bout the "year of the lover"...well if '08 was that year, '09 finna be the "year of the bachelor." Real talk.
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Completely on point. I'm naturally a caring, sensitive guy--not to say I can't be funny and sarcastic because I definitely am--but itseems like many women out their would prefer to be treated like trash. Now, it's not like I settle--these obviously aren't the right women for me ifthey don't appreciate me--but at the same time I feel like I barely date because of this. I feel like respect and manners get taken for weakness.

I could say so much more, but I'm too tired to type an essay and it's not worth it anyway.

Simply put, dating has become overly complex in recent times and I'm not sure if anyone--men or women--really know what they're doing.
 
Simply put, dating has become overly complex in recent times and I'm not sure if anyone--men or women--really know what they're doing.




I sure as hell dont
if you were like that by nature, then i really wouldn't have such a problem with it
Why dont i believe you? Why would you bother taking time to know if he is truly such if you have become so fed up with it?If I were you, I would be extra cruel and nasty to them dudes simping you, because clearly ignoring them isnt working. Tell them straight up there doing itwrong. I dont get why most females even coddle these dudes if their so annoying. Set them straight and make it easier for everyone.
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Reading through this thread makes me realize how twisted some of yall have females
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I wonder if i'm a simp or a
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hole.

I'll hold a door open for a lady but tell her to hurry her
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up if she's movin' too slow.
 
Originally Posted by 13saldana13

As I have become older I have realized that a large amount of males are simps. I don't have a myspace, but when I'm with friends and they're going through girls myspace's I always read corny comments by simps. All I do is
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and SMH, especially when it's someone I know.

Or when girls show me their phones, there's always a handful of guys sending them pictures
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and sending them corny messages. They try to hard to get these girls to like them and their lack of self-awareness is pathetic. They don't realize the girls just laugh and sometimes are even creeped out by them. Just the other night this girl was showing me her phone and she was like, "look at this creeper, he wont stop texting and last night he sent me this pic". She also showed me a pic of this guy I know showing of his body to her (she never asked for the pic) and she thought he was lame.

I mean it's cool to give a girl a compliment once in a while and the whole chivalry thing, but to see men kissing up to girls is just
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to me. What makes it worse is that they don't suck up and act like that in front of others, they try to act tough and like they don't care about the girls. Some probably don't care,but they think that it'll ( kissing !!%) get them some.
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Oh man, I hate that stuff. I need to stop letting it bother me though.

Originally Posted by SiMPLYDiMPLY


and lincey- i actually DO like nice guys.... i don't like $%@+@!!@. but what i like more is honesty.... that's really the only thing i look for in relationships (whether it be platonic or romantic). but what irks me about this "simpin" is the lack of authenticity of it all. if you were like that by nature, then i really wouldn't have such a problem with it. but it's just like i get pissed off when dudes think i'm stupid enough to fall for this weak +#%%. it's an insult to my intelligence, it really is.
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That's the clearest statement I've read on this issue yet. Well said.... I need to stop any simping I do. It's done out of weakness.

Originally Posted by socaking

Simply put, dating has become overly complex in recent times and I'm not sure if anyone--men or women--really know what they're doing.
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I sure as hell dont

if you were like that by nature, then i really wouldn't have such a problem with it
Why dont i believe you? Why would you bother taking time to know if he is truly such if you have become so fed up with it? If I were you, I would be extra cruel and nasty to them dudes simping you, because clearly ignoring them isnt working. Tell them straight up there doing it wrong. I dont get why most females even coddle these dudes if their so annoying. Set them straight and make it easier for everyone.


Start talking about other guys in front of him. Then again, a simp may put up with that.
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If you take the time to read this, you may actually learn something...


OP, you're definitely confused--as much as you'd like to think otherwise.

1. Chances are, if a guy was simpin' and that was a complete turnoff--it wasn't the act itself, butrather the individual behind the act. Understand that.

If the right guy of your dreams, the one you've always imagined, executed this very act of "simpin'" you claim to find abhorrent, chances areyou would eat if up and ask for seconds. Attributing the sudden change of opinion to some trivial realization along the line of, "Ohh well I just want mea grown man who knows how to treat a woman…", or "It's hard to find good men out here these days so when [insert dream guys name] came along, Ijust couldn't let him get away…". Don't play yourself...

2. People really need to dissociate simpin' from the negative connotations it is often associated with.Even the name used to describe the acts are negative.

In truth, we have this "dilemma" simply because we have a generation of fatherless--and thus uneducated-- females who during their transition fromsocially blind girls, to socially conscious women, were misinformed about how a "real man", with respect to societal expectations and biologicalexpectation, acts and the things he does to show his interest, respect, and appreciation towards a female.

So now, when a societal dynamic favoring these uneducated and misinformed females is established-the resulting ripple effect leads to the apotheosis of dudesthat are abusers, brash, cheats, liars, and egotistical deadbeats (or simply stated-ninjas that aint ^%#&) and the downplay of real urbane fellas.

You want proof of this-look through this thread. Not specifically pointing anyone out, but from some of these responses, you can genuinely see which dudes wereat some point in the past-"good". And due to some bad experience with one of these misinformed and uneducated females, abandoned all hope, and becamethe callous, sullen, shallow dudes they are now-the very same archetype of man our generation of female LOVES.

So now you have a double dilemma because not only do you have a guy who's slowly on course to being a scumbag, but also, you have a guy who is not beinghonest and sincere with himself. This guy ends up having kids. A few of them are girls and a few are boys. The boys are subconsciously disciplined to becallous and unemotional like pops, and the females are subconsciously disciplined to prefer this archetype of man. This becomes a cycle that reverberatesthrough future generations.

3. My final point. Simply-you're lying to yourself when you say you "want" honesty. Case inpoint, please tell me what differences, if any, are exhibited between guys that genuinely care about you, and guys that are simply,"simpin'".

It's a very fine black line in darkest of nights. Furthermore, I brought this example solely to make the point that the "I want an honest guy"argument is rubbish-at least for y/our age group.

Once again, it's no secret that at a younger age, females especially dig the alpha males within any particular social community they happen to be part of.From my observations (it's what I do, lol), honesty is not an inherent trait for an alpha male simply because they don't need it.

Now go down one level and you have every other dude who wants to be an alpha male. One way they can do that is to mimic said alpha male. Get a bunch of theseguys and you have your self professed "natural Jerks". Guess what, no guy is born a "natural jerk", or uncaring, or callous. Theseattitudes/personalities are taken on because as previously stated, at some point in the past when they were noble, they met a screwed-up chick thatchopped-n-screwed 'em. Also, they realized that Mr. Alpha Male who gets all the females is a jerk so why not imitate this quality and thus liken themselvesto Mr. Alpha Male, and reap the associated female blessings. So even these guys are not authentic.

If you really want the honest guy you claim you seek for a relationship-look no further than they guy that actually treats you to nice things, is nice to you,and tells you he cares about you. He's the very same dude a confused adolescent society has termed "simp".
 
superA, I agree with some of what you are saying.... While simping is done out of weakness (i.e. afraid to do anything that would make the girl not like them),jerks are also doing it out of weakness (they're afraid of getting hurt after they invest anything in a female). Both are defense mechanisms.

But I still think there's a difference between being a simp and being genuinely nice to a female.
 
Originally Posted by whywesteppin

superA, I agree with some of what you are saying.... While simping is done out of weakness (i.e. afraid to do anything that would make the girl not like them), jerks are also doing it out of weakness (they're afraid of getting hurt after they invest anything in a female). Both are defense mechanisms.

But I still think there's a difference between being a simp and being genuinely nice to a female.
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So tell me, what are these differences? I posed the same question to Dimply to hopefully she can also elaborate on that...

Because truly, the way I see it, the term "simpin'" was probably birthed in the crevices of some scorned dude's heart after some stupidconfused female (the type i referenced in my OG post) turned him out. Completely manipulating and disregarding his goodwill towards her.

So here we have a man who thinking the act of chivalry and being a "good" man is dead, sees fit to classify any such act that would embody thegoodwill toward a female as simple and the male executor of such goodwill, a simp'.
 
This "simp" thing has me confused.....

I guess there are times when I am, and times when I am not. But since I married my girl, moved in together, had kids with her, and think of them over my ownwants at times...so I guess overall I am a simp....sucks to be me.
 
Originally Posted by SuperAntigen

Originally Posted by whywesteppin

superA, I agree with some of what you are saying.... While simping is done out of weakness (i.e. afraid to do anything that would make the girl not like them), jerks are also doing it out of weakness (they're afraid of getting hurt after they invest anything in a female). Both are defense mechanisms.

But I still think there's a difference between being a simp and being genuinely nice to a female.
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So tell me, what are these differences? I posed the same question to Dimply to hopefully she can also elaborate on that...

Because truly, the way I see it, the term "simpin'" was probably birthed in the crevices of some scorned dude's heart after some stupid confused female (the type i referenced in my OG post) turned him out. Completely manipulating and disregarding his goodwill towards her.

So here we have a man who thinking the act of chivalry and being a "good" man is dead, sees fit to classify any such act that would embody the goodwill toward a female as simple and the male executor of such goodwill, a simp'.
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So if you're at the crib playin Call of Duty 4 on the PS3 and your girl or even some girl you just like says "GET UP! Were going to Red Lobster fordinner!" and you get your butt up without second thought, even though you wanted to stay at home and play COD4 all day, that's an example of being asimp.

Buying a girl flowers or candy every now and then because you feel like it is not an example of being a simp.

Bending over backwards to provide things for a woman because you're thirsty, that's being a simp.

Bending over backwards to provide things for a woman because she's your wife/fiance/long time girlfriend... That's not being a simp.

Catching on?
 
Originally Posted by Primavera Vills

I figure, why lie.....why front. It takes too much energy, and I'm the lazy type.
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Indeed....but then...

Originally Posted by DearWinter219

Honesty is overrated... most girls, no, most people in general can't handle it.
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No female likes the truth....I'm not the one to be like I'm talking to you to get to know you. I'm talking to you because I want toput on my scuba suit. 2008 Just left me lost...I told females straight I want nothing but to smash and dash and it got me nowhere...So now I do not know whatto do because lying errr holding back the truth is not me. Thus...it is what it is..act accordingly. I don't care anymore.
 
Good points. But now notice how in every example you used to convey "simpism", you unconsciously (I assume) used diction and syntax that would denotethe act in question in a negative light when in any other situation, the same logic would be seemingly ambiguous. Example...
So if you're at the crib playin Call of Duty 4 on the PS3 and your girl or even some girl you just like says "GET UP! Were going to Red Lobster for dinner!" and you get your butt up without second thought, even though you wanted to stay at home and play COD4 all day, that's an example of being a simp.
I assume you made "get up" an assertion simply to emphasize the fact that the guy inquestion is not in control of the situation. Furthermore he's making his personal desires secondary (Staying at home to play COD4) to that of the femalewho wants to go to RLBster. You also use "without second thought"--once again i assume to show that this guy is mindelessly doing as told without athough of his own. Cool

1. So let me further ask you this. If two people are in a relationship and the male is asked by the female to do something that is polar to his immediateinterest and desires, and he obliges--is he a SIMP?

2. If two people are not in a relationship, however, but the male is actively courting the female, and said female asks to be taken to Red Lobster, and themale obliges even though he is doing something else at the moment--is he also engaging in "simpism"?

3. What about a situation where you're, once again, playing COD4 and your girl/the girl you're courting texts/calls you and asks to be picked up fromwherever she is at--are you a simp if you oblige, and a real G if you don't and go about your bizness?

4. Now let us reverse the roles. (This is where it gets good). If a dude tells his girl/girl he is courting to "get up" so they can go to Red Lobsterand his girl/girl he is courting obliges, even though she is chillen--is she a simp? What about if she looks you dead in the eye, gives you the up and downlook to reinforce that "she aint no simp", would you just go about your business like nothing just happened...
Buying a girl flowers or candy every now and then because you feel like it is not an example of being a simp.

vs

Bending over backwards to provide things for a woman because you're thirsty, that's being a simp.
Once again with the polarizing phrases. In the first sentence you used "buying" and "feel like it" yet in the second sentence,you used "bending over backwards" and "thirsty", when really, the acts being performed in both situations are tantamount.

One seems ideal above the other, however, simply because the language you used to describe the two. Inherently, there are no differences.

Bending over backwards to provide things for a woman because you're thirsty, that's being a simp.

vs.

Bending over backwards to provide things for a woman because she's your wife/fiance/long time girlfriend... That's not being a simp.
Once again, you use polarizing phrases and diction to try to show differences when in reality, there are no differences. The acts are the sameexcept for the fact that you changed the people involved thus skewing the perception of the acts.

You can bend over backwards to provide ishhh for your wife/fiance/long time girlfriend and you're not a simp and yet, doing the same for a woman you'recourting or interested in is simpish.

Also notice what I did there-- courting is another form of thirst buddy. All relationships begin because at some point in time, the individual that courted hadsome level of thirst. I validate this statement by further saying that all relationships are birthed from physical attraction/desire for the other person. Andif that is the case, that you are physically attracted to someone, well then guess what--there is some level of thirst going on.

Lastly...

Bending over backwards to provide things for a woman because she's your wife/fiance/long time girlfriend... That's not being a simp.

vs.

So if you're at the crib playin Call of Duty 4 on the PS3 and your girl or even some girl you just like says "GET UP! Were going to Red Lobster for dinner!" and you get your butt up without second thought, even though you wanted to stay at home and play COD4 all day, that's an example of being a simp.
Are equivalent because in both circumstances, one party is going out of their to make the other party happy. Bending over would connotates doingsomething even though you necessarily dont want or have to. Clearly this is equal to getting of your butt and halting your riveting game of COD4 to go to RedLobster and yet, in the first example, the guy is not a simp but in the second, he is. Even though I've just shown how equal both cases are...


So yeah...if you have a better answer as to the differences between Simpin and being a genuine urbane dude, feel free to enlighten me.

Why whole point is that, these days, women are so confused about what they really want in a man. Their priorities are in limbo and as a result of this,genuinely good dudes are blackballed and the scumbags are idolized. If I'm a dude observing this kind of ishhh, why not trivialize and damn near demonizegood characteristics because the ishh wont get me anywhere. All the while uplifting the bad characteristics because for some odd reason--that's what thesefemales prefer to respond to.

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