NT, i need help with my girl (military/guardian/abuse related) *mature*

thizzbaby

thizzbaby

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ok so this isnt a typical "omg my gf broke up with me post" my girl is going through some hard stuff and i really dont know what to do... i live inLA and im 17 turning 18 in 2 months...

long story:
My girl's mom has been in the navy reserve for about 2 years, she was what people call a "weekend soldier", she worked a high position here atwells fargo, but once a month she went down to san diego to "train" and "workout" with the navy. Anyways about 4 months ago she wasmobilized to san diego, and she left her 3 kids (including my girl) at home. Now heres where it gets complicated, my girl's dad has always been abusive toHER, but never to her 2 siblings. So her sibling have a great relationship with her dad, while my girl does not. There have been days where my girl is so beatup i cant even hug her because shes so sore..
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so, just last week, thenavy found out that she (mom) has been leaving the kids home alone while shes in san diego. My girl is 16 turning 17 this month, so of course legally shessupposed to have a guardian, but the only guardian here is her abusive father. The navy has threatened to call social services and take possession of the kidsand give sole custody to the da.d My girl in no way wants to tell anyone about the abuse shes been taking because she feels that her siblings will miss the"good" side of her father too much. At tis very moment, my girl is trying to find a friend to stay with so she wont have to stay in the same house asher dad....

So tell me NT what do i do? what can i tell her? how do i help? ive tried telling her to call the cops when shes getting beat up, but shes just plain scaredto death of this dude.... pm me if necessary...



cliff notes:
my girl is 16 lives in LA with 2 siblings
mom was mobilized by navy to san diego
navy found out shes been home alone, threatened to take custody of kids
my girl's dad physicaly abuses her
navy wants a "guardian" for kids, only option is dad
how can i help?
 
how long u been dating ?


whats the legal age in cali ??


can she file for her own power attorney ( i forget the term )



if not.. I can adopt her. I need a maid
 
Originally Posted by IMPORTKING

how long u been dating ?


whats the legal age in cali ??


can she file for her own power attorney ( i forget the term )



if not.. I can adopt her. I need a maid
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ill disregard the last comment.. prolly liek 2 years off and on right now were more on a best friends relationship

legal age in cali is 18

and its called "emancipation" we've looked into that, in order for her to be emancipated shed have to prove she pays rent and has a job and isable to support herself, she doesnt have that
 
there is nothing you can do to help her. i've learned form experience that if she doesnt want to alert the police to her father's abusive behavior,then nothing you say or do will change that. So all you can do really is to try to help her find a friend that she can stay with.

I hate how people allow abusers to get away with it, she needs to stand up for her damn self & make sure he cant do that to her anymore
 
Originally Posted by whyte1der05five


I would convince her to tell them about her dad.
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exactly. you have to try to convince her to tell someone or else it won't stop and may get worst.
 
Originally Posted by Thugnificence

there is nothing you can do to help her. i've learned form experience that if she doesnt want to alert the police to her father's abusive behavior, then nothing you say or do will change that.
she doesnt want to alert the police to her father's abusive behavior, then nothing you say or do will change that. So all you can do really is to try to help her find a friend that she can stay with.

I hate how people allow abusers to get away with it, she needs to stand up for her damn self & make sure he cant do that to her anymore
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i know. i know... but i hate seeing her like that.. andi can always tell when she got beat up, because usually she gets no sleep and has long sleeves.. the whole 9..
 
Originally Posted by Lrrr

do you think you're up to challenging her dad?
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hell yeah. im the type of dude, i dont care how big you are, if i get one clean hit in mission accomplished.. but, me and her have talked about this so manytimes.... she says if i ever do anything shell hate me forever and ignore me.
tired.gif
i hate how abusers have so much power over thier victims... and shes like 90 pounds yo... hes easily 250...
 
Originally Posted by IMPORTKING

how long u been dating ?


whats the legal age in cali ??


can she file for her own power attorney ( i forget the term )



if not.. I can adopt her. I need a maid
Click to expand...
he did not just say that
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she should seek emancipation.

are your parents understandable people? maybe ya can look into that and help her.
 
you should talk to your parents if they are semi-cool...they MIGHT let her stay with you...
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thanks for the SERIOUS responses, got a good pm and i think I'm going to look into contacting a social worker, she's gonna have to stay with her dad,maybe when i get some hard evidence they'll do something.

and my parents don't event want ME around, I'm moving to new york. i got a scholarship to St. John's university so I'm out. moving far awayfrom here too many damn problems. word to vick.
 
Originally Posted by MILLION DOLLAR STACKS

Viewtiful Mik3 wrote:
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But for-real she is going to have to stand up to dude, next time he tires something she has to call the COPS and if she don't tell her you will!

If nothing is done, then it will keep happening. So somebody has to do somthing, and if you care for her and you don't want to see her hurt you will riskyour friendship to see her safe. She will eventually come around and see what you did was a act of love for her.

You either have to put the hands to her father or you have to tell social workers or the cops.

O yea PICS??????
 
The navy has threatened to call social services and take possession of the kids and give sole custody to the da.d
all the navy can do is call social services.

they cannot take possession of the kids and give them to the dad...that would require a court proceeding.
they don't just do that willy-nilly.
Click to expand...
 
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