What Is The Craziest Drunk Night You Have Ever Had?

I was going in doggystyle on a chick and threw up all over her back. After I threw up she looked to see what it was and she started to throw up. The whole @*##%** bed was covered in throw up and you could smell it 3 dorm rooms down. I just sat there with the southwest airlines look on my face "wana get away?", I'm never showing my face at ASU or drinking 151 again. Only time I ever threw up drinking.


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that story has been going around watercoolers and the internets for years now. I dont understand why people have to make things up. Just don't post atall dude.
 
Originally Posted by moonmaster3

I was going in doggystyle on a chick and threw up all over her back. After I threw up she looked to see what it was and she started to throw up. The whole @*##%** bed was covered in throw up and you could smell it 3 dorm rooms down. I just sat there with the southwest airlines look on my face "wana get away?", I'm never showing my face at ASU or drinking 151 again. Only time I ever threw up drinking.


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that story has been going around watercoolers and the internets for years now. I dont understand why people have to make things up. Just don't post at all dude.
Its a tweaked variation of a Tucker Max story. If you dont know, lookup www.tuckermax.com
 
Went to visit my friend at GT for the weekend last year

Went to a party got pretty drunk and started hooking up with a girl who's apptment the party was at. Did my thing and then passed out.

Woke up at like 5am and tried to find my way back to his dorm because I didn't wanna wake up next to the chick in the morning

I fell into a ditch and cracked the side of my head around my cheek and had like a 4 inch long gash next to my ear.

Woke up like an hour later and called. Finally he came and found me and walked our way back. But my shirt was all bloody and ended up being thrown into thetrash.

Now I got a 3 inch long scar on the left side of my head because of that weekend. I'll never forget that trip now, it'll always be staring me in themirror. lol
 
Originally Posted by moonmaster3

Its a tweaked variation of a Tucker Max story. If you dont know, lookup www.tuckermax.com


Yeah, I went through the tucker max stories this past summer sitting in my cubicle.
hahahaha i did the same thing. it makes for a good read when you want to kill time instead of working. Sushi Pants is an epic crazy drunk story,and in my younger years it would have motivated me to go out and buy a pocket breathalyzer just so I could try to see how drunk I can get before passing out.
 
Originally Posted by Mojodmonky1

Originally Posted by moonmaster3

I was going in doggystyle on a chick and threw up all over her back. After I threw up she looked to see what it was and she started to throw up. The whole @*##%** bed was covered in throw up and you could smell it 3 dorm rooms down. I just sat there with the southwest airlines look on my face "wana get away?", I'm never showing my face at ASU or drinking 151 again. Only time I ever threw up drinking.


indifferent.gif
that story has been going around watercoolers and the internets for years now. I dont understand why people have to make things up. Just don't post at all dude.
Its a tweaked variation of a Tucker Max story. If you dont know, lookup www.tuckermax.com



Yea minus the butseks.

I never really partied/drank in high school so my first semester at SDSU I went wild. I barely remember anything from that semester.

Anyways,

1 bottle of 151 and a handle of Finlandia Vodka

Killed the bottles with two homies while housesitting for his sisters apartment

Woke up with one guy missing (found outside on her front doorstep sleeping like a dog)

Other dude asleep in the bathtub with throwup all over him and the shower still on. Must have been on for hours cause dude looked like a prune.

And I woke up in a completely dark room. I started freaking out and hit the walls. Turned out I was in his sisters walk in closet and I broke the sliding doorsdown.

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Originally Posted by Mojodmonky1

Originally Posted by moonmaster3

I was going in doggystyle on a chick and threw up all over her back. After I threw up she looked to see what it was and she started to throw up. The whole @*##%** bed was covered in throw up and you could smell it 3 dorm rooms down. I just sat there with the southwest airlines look on my face "wana get away?", I'm never showing my face at ASU or drinking 151 again. Only time I ever threw up drinking.


indifferent.gif
that story has been going around watercoolers and the internets for years now. I dont understand why people have to make things up. Just don't post at all dude.
Its a tweaked variation of a Tucker Max story. If you dont know, lookup www.tuckermax.com


watercooler? Tucker Max?

You guys are clowns
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Originally Posted by starbury03

Originally Posted by Mojodmonky1


#2 My boy cracked the bong so we didnt have anything to smoke out of. Luckily he had some papers in the car, so he says hes gonna run out and get em. It was my boy's first time droppin tabs so as he was leaving I told him to go get em and come right back and dont do nothing crazy to get arrested. a minute later I hear an engine rev and tires squeelin, son just boned out. Bout an hour later homie shows up and we are all pissed that he ran off with the papers (too effed up to worry about him being alive). He said he was walkin to his car when his friend walked by and said wsup... Friend? what Friend? My boy didnt even go to my school, he dont know no one there cept me and my roommate. My boy elaborates and says his friend jumped outta the sign. Turns out this "friend" was the stick figure in the crosswalk who magically jumped out of the sign and to kick it wit him. He says he went for a joyride cause his "friend" wanted to go for a drive.
Oh noooo..
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I'm dying here.
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Between that story and the awareness test thread i cant breathe.
 
1. Proposed marriage to my baby mama....

2. Told my ex I wanted to move in with her. (I live in the Bay and she lives in Fresno)

3. Spent $130 on drinks at some club/bar in Rosarito, Mexico and it was an OPEN BAR. tips FTL. smh...lol!

Nothing too crazy like the rest of you guys. lol
 
Originally Posted by Mojodmonky1

Originally Posted by goldenarmz97

When I really think about it, I've been in many crazy situations when I've been inebriated: Started 2 riots after the club (the SWAT team actually came to the 1st one) been held hostage by the mayor of rosarito at his compound by his guards, had my nose broken after getting it crackin under a pier in Santa barbara, crashing thru a freeway overpass and almost going over & many more I can't think of.. Out of all the crazy situations I've been in, I'd have to pick a night in Santa Barbara as the craziest of them all. I had been out there for a week in isla vista (the town where UCSB is) & GIC every night. My last night there, I had linked up with with my boys neighbor who I met last time I went up there, (she just came back in town the same day & I knew she was ready, Ol girl looked like kim kardashan without the money, still a bad one tho) & we made plans to hang out. B4 that, my boy got a keg & I went thru 29 cups. By the time I met up with ol girl, I was stupid nice. Ma was like I really wanna kick it now but I gotta stop by a couple of m friends parties, I'm like ok as she shotgunned some purp to me with her soft lips (max b: owww) so how could I say no? Anyways, I'm drunk and lifted while walking thru the cop infested streets on the way to party #1 where I hit a hash filled hookah. Party #2: I do shrooms. Party #3:I'm given a square piece of paper to put under my tounge (I found out it was acid months later. Smh) after all this, we had to go to 1 more party & I am out of my mind. We leave the party & the sky was so blue that I thought the sky was water & started doing the back stroke in the middle of the street. The cops ask ol girl if I'm cool & she busts out laughing and tried to take dudes hat. I know we woulda spent the night in the drunk tank but a fight broke out & son dipped. Anyways, we get to the party which is at a house overlooking the ocean & I go on the balcony & try and jump into the water which was a good 20 feet from the water. Mad people grab me & lock me in a room alone. For some reason, I thought I couldwalk thru walls & proceeded to run into the wall head first, damn near knocking myself out. I also knocked a grip of framed pictures off the wall (shattered dreams LOL) anyways we dipped back to her house & went in her room to G.I.C. As soon as I removed the bra, my head started spinning & I threw up all on her face and racks. Ms started screaming so I grabbed a random felt fedora she had in her house & ended up sleeping in the bushes cuz I forgot where my boy lived (next door smh) I never got to G.I.C with ol girl after that, smh...
I dont wanna be quick to call them duck tales, but damn.... you got the tolerance of an elephant. If you drinkin 29 cups of brew, smoke bud, eat fungus, drop a tab, and still be able to walk on 2 feet.... my hat goes off to you. Only time I ever mixed copious amounts of alcohol and the fungus I was blowin chunks and was an absolute mess. Props for making it as far through the night as you did.

Drunk-wise I got some weak stories... nothing really crazy, but I used to do a ton of acid when I was in college which always leads to very funny situations

#1 dropped tabs and started trippin balls. Went outside for a smoke, and there was this pre-school with a huge *#% tree right next door to the dorms. For some reason we thought we were monkeys (and thus excellent tree climbers) so we started to scale the tree. Got about 20-25 ft up with the quickness before we looked down and got a mean case of vertigo. Sat up in the tree for the next 4 hrs until our cigs ran out cause we were to effed up to climb down.

#2 My boy cracked the bong so we didnt have anything to smoke out of. Luckily he had some papers in the car, so he says hes gonna run out and get em. It was my boy's first time droppin tabs so as he was leaving I told him to go get em and come right back and dont do nothing crazy to get arrested. a minute later I hear an engine rev and tires squeelin, son just boned out. Bout an hour later homie shows up and we are all pissed that he ran off with the papers (too effed up to worry about him being alive). He said he was walkin to his car when his friend walked by and said wsup... Friend? what Friend? My boy didnt even go to my school, he dont know no one there cept me and my roommate. My boy elaborates and says his friend jumped outta the sign. Turns out this "friend" was the stick figure in the crosswalk who magically jumped out of the sign and to kick it wit him. He says he went for a joyride cause his "friend" wanted to go for a drive.

#3. Probably the most interesting acid trip of my life. Was just me and my roommate on a random Tuesday. We drop tabs and just goofin around doing stupid stuff. Eventually we ran out of cigs so we decide to make a run to the 7-11 at 3AM. I convince my boy to teach me to drive manual (yea... im pathetic and drive an automatic) and he obliges. Ole boy had this burnt orange late 80's subaru that was a complete bucket on wheels. I get into the car and proceed to start it without holding onto the break or clutch or anything. Car lurches forward into the wall denting the crap outta the hood. My buddy kicks me out of his car as I am pleading with him for a 2nd chance. He pulls it out, has a change of heart, and lets me drive again. The thing is so beat up that the windshield is perma-dirty, and in the mist/fog you can barely see out of it. I am driving ok down the street but as I pull into the 7-11 I miss the driveway and run it up into the planter. I slam on the breaks and the car stalls. Look up and see a couple of cops out in front of the 7-11 eyeballin the hell outta me. Im shook as hell, and my buddy tryin to get me to calm down and restart the car. Upon restart I jam the accelerator too hard and do a nice burnout right in front of the cop as I go towards the parking spot. My boy is trippin out and thinks Im about to run the cop over as he yells out OHHHHHHHH SHHHHHHHHH..... I manage to park without killin anyone, and exit the car fully expecting to get arrested and taken to jail. Luckily the cop was too lazy and bought my excuse that my boy is teaching me to drive stick at 3AM on a Tuesday.


what is up with the essay
 
1st night off of everclear
2nd night off of everclear
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the many many nights i dont remember
 
I was staying at a very large house in Cheylabynsk Russia for an oil/gas project I was doing.
The owner of the house...and no ducktales on this, is the colonial (SP?) of the Russian Special Forces AKA the Russian Spetsnatz. I had dinner with his familyand one of his sons asked me if I wanted to for for a drive with him, his wife, and the Coloinals daughter...all who are my age. I thought this was going to bea tour of the city haha.

This si 10 dinner shots of vodka into the night.

I end up at some dudes GREASY GRIMEY apt in downtown 3rd world Russia with a decent buzz on. Within mins I'm lung deep in a home made water bong hittinglaced grass (no idea with what).

We go back to the house and they told me to be snipe because their dad doesn;t know about the drugs. I'm completely +%#@@%.
I sit at the table acting James Bond stealth. I told the Colonial and my dad I wanted to challenge them to a vodka-out.

Biggest mistake of my life.

The first 1L bottle: me, my dad and the colonial.
We were goofing around and the colonial brought out his AK47 and full gear for me to take pics with.



Second 1L bottle: the colonial calls it quits half way through because he had training the next day

Third 1L bottle: turn it upside down on the table when it was finished (highly disrespectful).


I had consumed ~ 1.4 L of pure Russian vodka and was completely +%#@@% up before hand.

Can't remember alot, but I woke up next to his fiiine Russian daughter in her bed. I spent the entire day throwing up.
 
im a lazy drunk so nothing really bad happend to me as far as getting into fights or arrested... id say one of the worst things that happend to me i almost gothit with dui because i was swirving but i told the cop i was tired and after going thru mad tests he sent me home so i was good...but ya i had my fair share ofblackouts a lot of them more embarrasing than others but what makes matters worse is its always in front of all my friends...im not going to tell all mystories because it will get too long but ill go over last weekend which was memorable in a bad way... so ya my homegirl is having a party in the city tocelebrate her bday at club touch in times sq... so im like true im there... i get a ride from one of my boys and im already at his house but he aint there...so im like aite im a get a small bottle of henny thats like 10 bux so i down that... he still aint there so i get another bottle... down most of it too... hesstill not at his cribbo... so im like aite im a get me a sub im hungry... my boy calls me sayin he home... so we roll out to the city... his friend talkingbout he want to smoke... so im like true ill smoke... thats all i remember... then i wake up in a pizzera with a slice of pizza on my plate thats mad cold anda bottle of water in my pocket... the mexican guys workin there are telling me to get out or they will call the cops... im like aite man calm down im out... itwas brick outside last saturday... so im walking around with no phone and in the city and i totally forgot how i get there and worried how im a get home... soi then remember everyone was going to club touch so i ended up going there... they let me in despite saying theres too many dudes up in there i convinced themto let me in because my friends were inside... it was 30 to get in and i only had 26 but they let me slide pause...so i finally get in and only stayed in therefor 2 hours or less... and when i said hi to everyone they seem like they didnt care...such a waste of a night... spent 70 bux that nite and had to drive anhour to my friends house and back and that doesnt count the hour it takes from my friends house to ny...
 
left the homies pad and said " its cool im just gonna walk home "

the walk was 5 miles at 2 am

so i see a group of mexican guys just chillin on the way home i guess i said something wrong.


got jumped by 4 mexican dudes


passed out in some random lawn after that

some girl saw me on her front lawn and took me in for the night

i smashed

woke up she told me what happend

smashed again then i left and thanked her gave her digits


surprisingly found my keys and cell phone the morning after
 
left the homies pad and said " its cool im just gonna walk home "

the walk was 5 miles at 2 am

so i see a group of mexican guys just chillin on the way home i guess i said something wrong.


got jumped by 4 mexican dudes


passed out in some random lawn after that

some girl saw me on her front lawn and took me in for the night

i smashed

woke up she told me what happend

smashed again then i left and thanked her gave her digits


surprisingly found my keys and cell phone the morning after
 
Not really crazy, but it was the worst.

Went to a pool party
Got wasted
Got a ride home from some girl in my car so I wouldn't get a DUI
She gets pulled over for speeding while I'm passed out in my front seat
She don't have a license (I didn't know that at the time)
I also get arrested, cop wouldn't let me call for a ride home, or even let me put on my shirt or shoes (I just had on swimming trunks)
And on top of that my car got impounded
 
Originally Posted by justooce

left the homies pad and said " its cool im just gonna walk home "

the walk was 5 miles at 2 am

so i see a group of mexican guys just chillin on the way home i guess i said something wrong.


got jumped by 4 mexican dudes


passed out in some random lawn after that

some girl saw me on her front lawn and took me in for the night

i smashed

woke up she told me what happend

smashed again then i left and thanked her gave her digits


surprisingly found my keys and cell phone the morning after
This is a great story.
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damn, all the homies were clubbing and we had shots of patron the whole night (damn spent over $200 on my drinks alone
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so i see this shorty that i use to go to high school with (5'2 with some buns) and i decided to go dance with her and we're hitting it off like noother ... then i guess her gay friend had a little too much to drink and they escorted this dude outside where he was passed out in front of the club
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so she asks me to go with her, this gay dude starts throwing up allll over himself and i proceed to help this unconscious idiot - thinking she'll think ima sweet dude ....

so 30mins of babysiting this gay dude with her ... we all decide to leave and then she gives me her number and says call me when you get back to our area, soim like
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so all my homies and i get in the car and im like imma call her ... so i calll her and it goes to voicemail and i thought i hung up ... so then i proceed to goon a drunk tirade and yell out "HELLLLL YEAAAAA shes gonna give me head tonight, im gonna @!@! her raw, im gonna make her swallow my babies, imma handlethat ##+!!" and me and the boys wee cracking up.

20 minutes later, i get a call from her sister saying they heard everything i said on voicemail ...

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and my phone never hung up

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my man drank half a bottle of vodka

went out didnt even make it into the club layed on teh street threw up on himself

rolled around in it....had to take him home but we couldnt cuz no one could lift him

paid a crackhead 10 bucks to put him in the car..dude had my mans feet swinging (300lbs)

laid him out in the living room in a cardboard box

went back out....
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