Spanking Children? Right or Wrong?

bk201 · Mar 2, 2011

Originally Posted by Its That Dude

If it reaches the point where you have to physically discipline your children, you have failed at parenting.

Interesting point.
There was study done...sorry I tried googling it but for the life of me I can't find the source but I'm not pulling these statistics out of the air.
The study said that 85% of parents that spank their children feel aggravated, mad, etc when they spank their children.

Does that stat alarm anyone? I mean being mad can only lead to more abusive behavior.

Edit found it. Here's the exert I was talking about.

Doty is certainly not the only parent who has spanked in anger and frustration. According to the SUNY study, 85 percent of parents report feeling angry and agitated when they spank. And those emotions can be difficult to rein in. "The intensity will continue to rise if the parent continues to be physical," says Dr. Coleman. And that increases the risk of abuse.

http://lifestyle.msn.com/...px?cp-documentid=8326634

Originally Posted by politicsasusual

Originally Posted by BK201

Example: Kid blatantly takes candy from store and eats it. Kid gets spanked. Kid learns how to steal candy without getting caught.
Kid takes candy. Parent explains why that is not okay. Kid learns that stealing is wrong. Later applies that to things later on in life.

Click to expand...

So the parent that spanks their child nonchalantly omits justifying the punishment received?

Ok.

Click to expand...

Bad example on my part since I left that out. But in situations where my dad beat me and then would try to talk to me about why he did it I was still mad and my mouth was still bleeding so I'd negate whatever he tried to say to me because I was mad at the time so I'm not gonna listen to you if I'm mad.
Oh it hurts you more than it hurts me?

bk201 · Mar 2, 2011

Originally Posted by Its That Dude

If it reaches the point where you have to physically discipline your children, you have failed at parenting.

Interesting point.
There was study done...sorry I tried googling it but for the life of me I can't find the source but I'm not pulling these statistics out of the air.
The study said that 85% of parents that spank their children feel aggravated, mad, etc when they spank their children.

Does that stat alarm anyone? I mean being mad can only lead to more abusive behavior.

Edit found it. Here's the exert I was talking about.

Doty is certainly not the only parent who has spanked in anger and frustration. According to the SUNY study, 85 percent of parents report feeling angry and agitated when they spank. And those emotions can be difficult to rein in. "The intensity will continue to rise if the parent continues to be physical," says Dr. Coleman. And that increases the risk of abuse.

http://lifestyle.msn.com/...px?cp-documentid=8326634

Originally Posted by politicsasusual

Originally Posted by BK201

Example: Kid blatantly takes candy from store and eats it. Kid gets spanked. Kid learns how to steal candy without getting caught.
Kid takes candy. Parent explains why that is not okay. Kid learns that stealing is wrong. Later applies that to things later on in life.

Click to expand...

So the parent that spanks their child nonchalantly omits justifying the punishment received?

Ok.

Click to expand...

Bad example on my part since I left that out. But in situations where my dad beat me and then would try to talk to me about why he did it I was still mad and my mouth was still bleeding so I'd negate whatever he tried to say to me because I was mad at the time so I'm not gonna listen to you if I'm mad.
Oh it hurts you more than it hurts me?

coldcity · Mar 2, 2011

Originally Posted by Its That Dude

If it reaches the point where you have to physically discipline your children, you have failed at parenting.

do you have kids? because i have only heard this stupid line from people without children. people with children 2+ would never say anything so ignorant

coldcity · Mar 2, 2011

Originally Posted by Its That Dude

If it reaches the point where you have to physically discipline your children, you have failed at parenting.

do you have kids? because i have only heard this stupid line from people without children. people with children 2+ would never say anything so ignorant

drop knee 101 · Mar 2, 2011

theres a lot of kids today that should be tasting the backhand of mom or dad daily

all this positive encouragement by the parents and then being preached to the kids without any smacks to the side of the head has created a generation of super demon kids.

you smack them up too much, they will go crazy on you sooner or later

you dont smack them at all, they will go crazy on you sooner or later also

parents are doomed from the get go

gotta find that grey area of acceptance and understanding

drop knee 101 · Mar 2, 2011

theres a lot of kids today that should be tasting the backhand of mom or dad daily

all this positive encouragement by the parents and then being preached to the kids without any smacks to the side of the head has created a generation of super demon kids.

you smack them up too much, they will go crazy on you sooner or later

you dont smack them at all, they will go crazy on you sooner or later also

parents are doomed from the get go

gotta find that grey area of acceptance and understanding

drtobaggan · Mar 2, 2011

Only if they are into it.

drtobaggan · Mar 2, 2011

Only if they are into it.

sammietheboss · Mar 2, 2011

Originally Posted by ColdCity

Originally Posted by Its That Dude

If it reaches the point where you have to physically discipline your children, you have failed at parenting.

Click to expand...

do you have kids? because i have only heard this stupid line from people without children. people with children 2+ would never say anything so ignorant

Word

sammietheboss · Mar 2, 2011

Originally Posted by ColdCity

Originally Posted by Its That Dude

If it reaches the point where you have to physically discipline your children, you have failed at parenting.

Click to expand...

do you have kids? because i have only heard this stupid line from people without children. people with children 2+ would never say anything so ignorant

Word

ihust1e · Mar 2, 2011

I think you need to balance the two... btw spanking and explaining. I dont think you can have one without the other successfully

ihust1e · Mar 2, 2011

I think you need to balance the two... btw spanking and explaining. I dont think you can have one without the other successfully

moneymike88 · Mar 2, 2011

Originally Posted by Boilermaker X

My oldest is under two and I use spanking as kind of a "hard reset". It inflicts little or no pain - she's wearing a diaper and she takes much harder spills in the course of normal play - but it reestablishes the power relationship. More than anything it gives her pause when she's grossly misbehaving and we use that moment to segue into discussing exactly what she did, why it was wrong, the consequences to herself or others of what she was trying to do, and we end with a sincere reaffirmation of love and caring. Like I said, she's not even two yet so I'm not pretending she sits an contemplates what we talk about but I'm trying to establish a pattern so things can sink in as she grows and has a better idea of her surroundings and her relationships with other people.

And FYI, it's never been more than one gentle swat on her well-padded butt. I'm not pulling out extension cords like I may have (ahem) "seen" happen when I was a child.

moneymike88 · Mar 2, 2011

Originally Posted by Boilermaker X

My oldest is under two and I use spanking as kind of a "hard reset". It inflicts little or no pain - she's wearing a diaper and she takes much harder spills in the course of normal play - but it reestablishes the power relationship. More than anything it gives her pause when she's grossly misbehaving and we use that moment to segue into discussing exactly what she did, why it was wrong, the consequences to herself or others of what she was trying to do, and we end with a sincere reaffirmation of love and caring. Like I said, she's not even two yet so I'm not pretending she sits an contemplates what we talk about but I'm trying to establish a pattern so things can sink in as she grows and has a better idea of her surroundings and her relationships with other people.

And FYI, it's never been more than one gentle swat on her well-padded butt. I'm not pulling out extension cords like I may have (ahem) "seen" happen when I was a child.

757bred · Mar 2, 2011

Originally Posted by BK201

Originally Posted by don23lucia

Spank em

Click to expand...

Why? Is hurting a child better than logically explaining why what they are doing is wrong? Children are fast learners imo. They can later apply the knowledge they gain from that to things. Spanking imo will lead children to fear getting hit instead of actually realizing why what they are doing is wrong. Which imo is more important then spanking a kid to make them stop doing wrong. Also spanking will in turn teach children to do wrong but to not get caught. Just my opinion.
Example: Kid blatantly takes candy from store and eats it. Kid gets spanked. Kid learns how to steal candy without getting caught.
Kid takes candy. Parent explains why that is not okay. Kid learns that stealing is wrong. Later applies that to things later on in life.

There can be balance between the 2. Explaining to the child what they did wrong is always the best option. But like it was said before, some kids respond to physical punishment whereas they ignore reasoning. And its hard to reason with a toddler. You can talk until you're blue in the face, but many times they don't care. Sometimes a little pop on the hand or butt gets the point across. My parents spanked me, but it was only after making sure I understood why I was being punished and if I kept on doing what they told me not to. If parents beat kids for everything little mishap then it loses its effectiveness. It should be only used rarely and as a last resort after all options.

757bred · Mar 2, 2011

Originally Posted by BK201

Originally Posted by don23lucia

Spank em

Click to expand...

Why? Is hurting a child better than logically explaining why what they are doing is wrong? Children are fast learners imo. They can later apply the knowledge they gain from that to things. Spanking imo will lead children to fear getting hit instead of actually realizing why what they are doing is wrong. Which imo is more important then spanking a kid to make them stop doing wrong. Also spanking will in turn teach children to do wrong but to not get caught. Just my opinion.
Example: Kid blatantly takes candy from store and eats it. Kid gets spanked. Kid learns how to steal candy without getting caught.
Kid takes candy. Parent explains why that is not okay. Kid learns that stealing is wrong. Later applies that to things later on in life.

There can be balance between the 2. Explaining to the child what they did wrong is always the best option. But like it was said before, some kids respond to physical punishment whereas they ignore reasoning. And its hard to reason with a toddler. You can talk until you're blue in the face, but many times they don't care. Sometimes a little pop on the hand or butt gets the point across. My parents spanked me, but it was only after making sure I understood why I was being punished and if I kept on doing what they told me not to. If parents beat kids for everything little mishap then it loses its effectiveness. It should be only used rarely and as a last resort after all options.

northmiamiboi · Mar 2, 2011

nothing wrong with discipline

northmiamiboi · Mar 2, 2011

nothing wrong with discipline

rocman23 · Mar 2, 2011

Originally Posted by iHust1e

I think you need to balance the two... btw spanking and explaining. I dont think you can have one without the other successfully

This.

My mom would beat me and explain why what I did was wrong. Somebody used a candy example earlier, I stole candy from the store when I was 3 and that was the earliest beating I remember getting. I never even considered stealing from the store again in my life.

Beating works for some kids,and certain areas. To be perfectly honest if you grow up in the hood it's not going to be a lot of people trying to talk things out, it gets physical. Some parents know this and want to prepare their kids for the roughness of their neighborhoods.

rocman23 · Mar 2, 2011

Originally Posted by iHust1e

I think you need to balance the two... btw spanking and explaining. I dont think you can have one without the other successfully

This.

My mom would beat me and explain why what I did was wrong. Somebody used a candy example earlier, I stole candy from the store when I was 3 and that was the earliest beating I remember getting. I never even considered stealing from the store again in my life.

Beating works for some kids,and certain areas. To be perfectly honest if you grow up in the hood it's not going to be a lot of people trying to talk things out, it gets physical. Some parents know this and want to prepare their kids for the roughness of their neighborhoods.

its that dude · Mar 2, 2011

Originally Posted by 757bred

Originally Posted by BK201

Originally Posted by don23lucia

Spank em

Click to expand...

Why? Is hurting a child better than logically explaining why what they are doing is wrong? Children are fast learners imo. They can later apply the knowledge they gain from that to things. Spanking imo will lead children to fear getting hit instead of actually realizing why what they are doing is wrong. Which imo is more important then spanking a kid to make them stop doing wrong. Also spanking will in turn teach children to do wrong but to not get caught. Just my opinion.
Example: Kid blatantly takes candy from store and eats it. Kid gets spanked. Kid learns how to steal candy without getting caught.
Kid takes candy. Parent explains why that is not okay. Kid learns that stealing is wrong. Later applies that to things later on in life.

Click to expand...

There can be balance between the 2. Explaining to the child what they did wrong is always the best option. But like it was said before, some kids respond to physical punishment whereas they ignore reasoning. And its hard to reason with a toddler. You can talk until you're blue in the face, but many times they don't care. Sometimes a little pop on the hand or butt gets the point across. My parents spanked me, but it was only after making sure I understood why I was being punished and if I kept on doing what they told me not to. If parents beat kids for everything little mishap then it loses its effectiveness. It should be only used rarely and as a last resort after all options.

So... Inflict pain onto children because they do not have the capacity to understand right and wrong. Nothing about that seems wrong to you?

its that dude · Mar 2, 2011

Originally Posted by 757bred

Originally Posted by BK201

Originally Posted by don23lucia

Spank em

Click to expand...

Why? Is hurting a child better than logically explaining why what they are doing is wrong? Children are fast learners imo. They can later apply the knowledge they gain from that to things. Spanking imo will lead children to fear getting hit instead of actually realizing why what they are doing is wrong. Which imo is more important then spanking a kid to make them stop doing wrong. Also spanking will in turn teach children to do wrong but to not get caught. Just my opinion.
Example: Kid blatantly takes candy from store and eats it. Kid gets spanked. Kid learns how to steal candy without getting caught.
Kid takes candy. Parent explains why that is not okay. Kid learns that stealing is wrong. Later applies that to things later on in life.

Click to expand...

There can be balance between the 2. Explaining to the child what they did wrong is always the best option. But like it was said before, some kids respond to physical punishment whereas they ignore reasoning. And its hard to reason with a toddler. You can talk until you're blue in the face, but many times they don't care. Sometimes a little pop on the hand or butt gets the point across. My parents spanked me, but it was only after making sure I understood why I was being punished and if I kept on doing what they told me not to. If parents beat kids for everything little mishap then it loses its effectiveness. It should be only used rarely and as a last resort after all options.

So... Inflict pain onto children because they do not have the capacity to understand right and wrong. Nothing about that seems wrong to you?

|A-Man| · Mar 2, 2011

If we're talking about beatings within reason there really isn't any right or wrong imo. Parents choice and for some children it just works. I grew up that way and didn't mind it after while since I can think of worse punishments.

Of course I was raised by Trini parents getting lix with a belt or a switch on my backside. Not none of that close fist bruising, marks on my face, shh I be seeing a lot of other families. Plus the things I'd get punished for was something I'd enjoy doing.

Now I probably won't do it cuz it takes up too much of my time and energy so I'll opt for the worse more psychological and manipulative punishments if I'm forced to when reasoning does not work.

|A-Man| · Mar 2, 2011

If we're talking about beatings within reason there really isn't any right or wrong imo. Parents choice and for some children it just works. I grew up that way and didn't mind it after while since I can think of worse punishments.

Of course I was raised by Trini parents getting lix with a belt or a switch on my backside. Not none of that close fist bruising, marks on my face, shh I be seeing a lot of other families. Plus the things I'd get punished for was something I'd enjoy doing.

Now I probably won't do it cuz it takes up too much of my time and energy so I'll opt for the worse more psychological and manipulative punishments if I'm forced to when reasoning does not work.

tego calderon el abayarde · Mar 2, 2011

All these skinny jean wearing thug wannabees who only act tough in large numbers should have gotten whooped by their parents

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Spanking Children? Right or Wrong?

bk201

bk201

coldcity

coldcity

drop knee 101

drop knee 101

drtobaggan

drtobaggan

sammietheboss

sammietheboss

ihust1e

ihust1e

moneymike88

moneymike88

757bred

757bred

northmiamiboi

northmiamiboi

rocman23

rocman23

its that dude

its that dude

|A-Man|

formerly atgd7154xbbxmz

|A-Man|

formerly atgd7154xbbxmz

tego calderon el abayarde

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