I like this...spend money on a small destination wedding...pay for the flight of those you really want to attend...let the rest figure it out.
I hate it. If you want to have a day when you can invite friends to enjoy it with you you need to make sure that it's accessible - not having a stupid theme that makes them buy an outfit (that they maybe can't afford) or go somewhere a million miles away. Keep it simple.
have a nice reception...i think i am going to have a destination wedding. it will avoid me and the hubby trying to decide whose hometown we should have it in, what church to use, etc...that way it will be fair. i have a huge family so rip to my husband if hes not up for the destination idea.
This is true. All of it.Originally Posted by sillyputty
OP, I'm not married but I think you know what you want us to tell you, but you're scared to face the backlash.
Hopefully your girl respects you AND your future together enough to make the most efficient decision.
But if you want my real thoughts:
Spoiler [+]Its funny reading the responses in here...
When I post critiques of the systems in place and a desire to come up with alternatives or rid ourselves of them, I get attacked as being a contrarian, offensive, disrespectful, disagreeable, etc.
When the fact of the matter is...these are things we ALL have a problem with.
OP's post is a prime example of this.
But no...TLC and LifeTime and the O Network tell you all different, so you have to follow that.
The fact is, marriage itself and the rituals and symbolism associated with it are in need of a radical cultural revamp, and we all know it.
However none of you are willing to take the charge and put your foot down one by one.
Here we have the OP who is clearly struggling to define his autonomy in the context of an expected societal norm but can't justify why he has to uphold it.
He knows the real answer...if he could, he'd have the smallest wedding possible, and probably skip buying the rings.
He wants to be married to the girl...not to show it off to everyone he knows and let society barge in and tell him what he has to wear, say, do, think, and act.
Its all a game. Its all made up... None of this means anything. NONE of it.
In the other thread about Diamonds this is EXACTLY what I'm talking about...but everyone wanted to pretend like this stuff had "meaning" or was "special"...
So I said you know what? I'll leave it alone. I got tired. After saying my piece and having others basically lie to themselves in order to support a system they disagree with, i'd just be repeating myself if I had anything else to say.
Of course those in support of the system in place will say that this a "woman's day" and "Shes been waiting for this her whole life", etc... And you know what? You'll do it. And you'll be guilty about it afterwards.
Listen to men like this.
I'm not even going to talk about masculinity or gender norms etc...
but just LOOK at the brainwashing here.
And he just TAKES it...
This is the problem here!
Dudes are willing to break the bank over one day.
WE ALL KNOW you ain't got it...so why front? Not like your homies didn't know you had secret Rothschild blood or something.
Don't even get me started on the religious crap involved with it too... I've seen religion break more couples up than ACTUAL problems.
OP, you know what the answer here is...You already know what you want us to tell you... but you honestly won't do it because you're scared of the backlash from people who were supposed to be cool with you.
This.
