Post your most embarrassing sexual encounters Vol. 2012

kramer · Jan 19, 2012

The strip club story is hilarious

and that one ^^

ervinsb91 · Jan 19, 2012

Originally Posted by 214

Originally Posted by Lpheat22

Originally Posted by 214

Man Id feel awkward as hell around my lady's mom if she walked in while I was chowing down on her daughter.

Wouldn't be able to look her in the eye after that.

Click to expand...

Happened to me with my ex at her house, we were downstairs watching tv thought everyone was a sleep, I have her stand up pull down her sweats put her against the wall and one leg over my shoulder and I was going to town on that thang munching like crazy

, she has my fingers in her mouth so she won't yell and next thing you know the lights turn on and I see my ex's mom standing there and she just says "oh my god' and turns around, my ex runs into the bathroom and then the mom decides to start talking to me about how we should get a room instead if we want to do these things and i'm standing there with her daughters juice all over my mouth I didn't know if I should wipe or what so I just left it there till she was done talking and walked away. I didn't go over for about 3 weeks cause I wasn't sure how she was going to react, when I did finally go over she acted like nothing happened.

Click to expand...

Your lady abandoned ship and left u hanging.

ajmasta · Jan 23, 2012

I don't want this thread to die so I shall add, nothing compared to these other stories but it's the least I could do:

So one day my gal was over and we were in bed messing around, it was like 4 in the morning we were both high as EFF and falling asleep so we kinda just fell asleep messing with each other and we didn't have sex but I still was on rock status. Morning comes and I'm still on rock. So when she wakes up we continue where we left off and proceed to have some wake up sex. I put it in and after about 10 seconds and 7 or 8 humps at the most, I blow my load. Me and her both were like WHAT...THE....FFFF. I wasn't embarrassed one bit because her and I already had been smashing for about a year, I actually thought it was funny but it never happened to me before.

That's all I've got

coldcity · Jan 23, 2012

Originally Posted by DMoney82

Never said this to anyone. Swear on my daughter. I met up with this chic and went to her hotel. We chopped it up, talked for a while and then I finally made the move. Grabbed her face and started kissing her. Made out for like 5 minutes and got naked. We turned the lamp off next to the bed but I could see a little from the moonlight shinning through the balcony door. I was going to WORK!! I was slam effing this chic and she loved it. So I figured after I made her climax so many times I'ma eat the box and show her my other skills. I go down and so she's going crazy, I'm feeling like the mannn! Next thing you know I taste something funny but I'm like oh, she's just cumming. Then I smelled something.. jumped up and turned the lights on. All I saw was red. She goes 'OMG!' I wipe my face and blood is all on my hand. I run straight in the bathroom and throw up. She comes in and ask am I Ok... I look at her with disgust while I'm scrubbing my face and mouth. I said 'Man you was on your god damn period and you knew it!' She said no, you just screwed me too hard! I swear I'm not. She sits on the bed while I'm getting dressed and we are both quiet. I get up and leave. Never spoke to her again, only a few words on twitter.

SMH

/Real Life.

so you went from piping to eatin

i am disgust

h01yshnik3s · Jan 23, 2012

haha i had a few , but the main one was laying on this girls couch and she was giving me dome and all i saw was a reflection off of the sliding glass door as her mom walk by glance and her jaw dropped! my eyes got wide and she walked off with her hand over her mouth, so i finished and dipped out of the back door before her father got woken up hahaha and i took a mountain dew out of the fridge on the back porch! great night. oh then i dated her sister after that, what an awkward household when I was around, so sensitive!

staystrong · Jan 23, 2012

Originally Posted by ColdCity

Originally Posted by DMoney82

Never said this to anyone. Swear on my daughter. I met up with this chic and went to her hotel. We chopped it up, talked for a while and then I finally made the move. Grabbed her face and started kissing her. Made out for like 5 minutes and got naked. We turned the lamp off next to the bed but I could see a little from the moonlight shinning through the balcony door. I was going to WORK!! I was slam effing this chic and she loved it. So I figured after I made her climax so many times I'ma eat the box and show her my other skills. I go down and so she's going crazy, I'm feeling like the mannn! Next thing you know I taste something funny but I'm like oh, she's just cumming. Then I smelled something.. jumped up and turned the lights on. All I saw was red. She goes 'OMG!' I wipe my face and blood is all on my hand. I run straight in the bathroom and throw up. She comes in and ask am I Ok... I look at her with disgust while I'm scrubbing my face and mouth. I said 'Man you was on your god damn period and you knew it!' She said no, you just screwed me too hard! I swear I'm not. She sits on the bed while I'm getting dressed and we are both quiet. I get up and leave. Never spoke to her again, only a few words on twitter.

SMH

/Real Life.

Click to expand...

What that thang taste like lolso you went from piping to eatin

i am disgust

23likemike23 · Jan 23, 2012

OK, couldn't pass this thread up...heres my contribution. I was dating this girl since i was a junior in HS. At this point i was like 21/22 years old. on this night i had gone with her and my friends to a hot wing eating contest at my favorite pub with my favorite wings. The contest was who could eat the hottest wings, level by level. So we got to the 250,000 scoville level which was pretty killer, next was 1 million which i took down and won

. Good night so far. My GF and i go home to do a little celebrating of my victory. We head to my room and start to fool around and i bring my hands downtown and shes really into it. all of a sudden she has tears streaming from her eyes and tells me to stop

. Im like , "whats wrong?"...shes like "I dont know, Its burning!!!" She rips off the rest of her clothes and runs to the bathroom which is right next to my moms room. i run in after her, she runs the tub faucet, lays in the tub on her back, and straddles the faucet with her legs in the air on full blast, freezing cold, now screaming

with relief from the burn and a frozen vagina. My mother wakes up, sees clothes scattered to the bathroom and basically thought i was either drowning some girl or raping her. that was the worst convo with my mother ever

. Point of the story..Even if u wash your hands twice, buffalo wing sauce can get in your your nail beds, and when its that hot,... be careful.

gregzzy23 · Jan 23, 2012

Originally Posted by justhotkicks

2001. Sainte-Foy, Quebec.

It was my last year of HS, so during our winter break, my boys and I planned a ski-trip to Canada. Immediately upon arrival at the hotel, all seven of us hit up the concierge and asked for a good strip club. He immediately pointed us to this spot called Cabaret Carol (you can google it). After dinner, we took a cab straight there. To me, the strip-club outing was supposed to be a night of 'learning'; I had never been to a strip club nor have I had alcohol in a public place as someone of legal age (not that I was, had a fake iD). Sainte-Foy, to me, had a very small-town vibe, and so I expected the women to reflect my opinion of the town - plain jane, regular looking women. It being a Monday also played a role in my expectations. So on this surprisingly mild February (about 55 degrees) evening in Canada, my friends and I set out to start this trip off right.

We immediately took the seats by the stage. The first woman to dance was downright gorgeous - a mix between Lacey Chabert and Sarah Michelle Gellar (as deduced by my friends during or many recollections of this night over the last decade) - and I instantly fell in love. She looked wickedly innocent and had a tight body to boot. She and I kept eye contact a lot, but I didn't think much of it - she was just doing her job (and doing it damn well). So after watching 3-4 dancers and drinking a ton of beers, we finally decided to get dances. They were a mere ten Canadian dollars a piece, but a 'VIP' room that was closed off with a black curtain was offered for just 5 Canadian dollars more. It was behind a black curtain with an ornate sign that read 'VIP PLEASURE' above the doorway. My friend had the gonads to go VIP first and he came out about ten minutes later, describing the experience as a slightly longer lapdance with more seductive dancing (as if grinding on your crotch whilst topless wasn't seductive enough). I already had a long dance with the Lacey Michelle Gellar dancer which included a lot of kissing, and was tempted to ask her to the VIP room as I stared at her yearningly, but before I could get up to ask her, I noticed her walking in my direction. I remained seated until she arrived in front of me, but before the words came out of my mouth, she grabbed my hand and walked me to the VIP room. This stripper could read minds.

The VIP room is just a dark room lit by candles. There's a black couch that, if hit by a blacklight, would probably illuminate so powerfully that it would be registered from a satellite in outer space as some sort of suspicious nuclear activity. I spent the first 30 seconds surveying the room and eventually made my way to the couch, sitting dead center. Oh, the pathetic rear ends that have inhabited that seat in the past. Without any rhythm to the music ('Lady' by Modjo was playing), Lacey Michelle Gellar ripped off her top and straddled me without hesitation. Something told me (my boner) that I was in for some real Very Important Person treatment. A few minutes of deep, passionate kissing led to over-the-pants stroking, which led to under-the-pants stroking, which led to her advising me via hand motions to pull my shorts down, which led to her applying a conctraceptive to my member, which led to her riding on top of me. About one minute in, the bouncer busted in through the curtain and looked me right in the eye. Then right at her. Then right back at me. She jumped right off, screaming in shock and embarrassment, and ran out of the room. By then the entire staff, a few of the patrons, and all of my friends were peering into the room; all they saw was my terrified mid-orgasm face and my member pointed upwards to the sky like a totem pole. I was so ready to burst that the slightest breeze in my general direction would've made me explode like Eyjafjallajokull (you know, that volcano in Iceland). I carefully removed the condom in front of them all and pulled my boxers up very slowly, careful not to agitate myself, and walked out of the VIP room like I was just caught masturbating by my parents; I hadn't realized that I was revealing my member in its most sensitive and camera-shy state to dozens of strangers and my friends. Upon entering the main room, I saw Lacey Michelle Gellar talking to an older woman, presumably Carol of Cabarat Carol, and just one look from her made me go Mt. Vesuvius in my pants. Thing is, I was wearing boxers, and above that I was wearing Jordan shorts. They're kinda baggy.

I looked down and noticed driplets of 'myself', and in my embarrassment, I smeared them with my feet with a look of defeat in my face - imagine the sad face of a dog eating his own poop. I took one look at the 6'5" 310 lb. bouncer, one look at my friend, who had this frozen, astonished look (the look you'd have if you saw your friends erect penis), one final look at Lacey Michelle Gellar, and booked it out of club. Back at the hotel, I gave my friends a rough play-by-play while scrubbing the soles of my kicks (Air Max 95s), thinking they got the same treatment from their ladies of the night as I did from mine, but it turned out the value of the five extra dollars they spent wasn't anywhere close to the "bang" for buck I got. I was too embarrassed to go back to that strip club throughout the remainder of the trip, but every night after, at least two of my friends did. None reported their own special stories, but what made me feel a bit guilty was that they didn't spot Lacey Michelle Gellar in any of the following nights. Did she get fired? Suspended? Who knows. For about a month after the trip, I visited the Cabaret Carol website religiously to discover her identity, but my efforts were all for naught. Never found out her name nor will I ever, but I will remember her and that night for as long as I shall live.

pip777 · Jan 23, 2012

Originally Posted by 23likemike23

OK, couldn't pass this thread up...heres my contribution. I was dating this girl since i was a junior in HS. At this point i was like 21/22 years old. on this night i had gone with her and my friends to a hot wing eating contest at my favorite pub with my favorite wings. The contest was who could eat the hottest wings, level by level. So we got to the 250,000 scoville level which was pretty killer, next was 1 million which i took down and won

. Good night so far. My GF and i go home to do a little celebrating of my victory. We head to my room and start to fool around and i bring my hands downtown and shes really into it. all of a sudden she has tears streaming from her eyes and tells me to stop

. Im like , "whats wrong?"...shes like "I dont know, Its burning!!!" She rips off the rest of her clothes and runs to the bathroom which is right next to my moms room. i run in after her, she runs the tub faucet, lays in the tub on her back, and straddles the faucet with her legs in the air on full blast, freezing cold, now screaming

with relief from the burn and a frozen vagina. My mother wakes up, sees clothes scattered to the bathroom and basically thought i was either drowning some girl or raping her. that was the worst convo with my mother ever

. Point of the story..Even if u wash your hands twice, buffalo wing sauce can get in your your nail beds, and when its that hot,... be careful.

Wow

rusty shackelford · Jan 23, 2012

Originally Posted by 23likemike23

OK, couldn't pass this thread up...heres my contribution. I was dating this girl since i was a junior in HS. At this point i was like 21/22 years old. on this night i had gone with her and my friends to a hot wing eating contest at my favorite pub with my favorite wings. The contest was who could eat the hottest wings, level by level. So we got to the 250,000 scoville level which was pretty killer, next was 1 million which i took down and won

. Good night so far. My GF and i go home to do a little celebrating of my victory. We head to my room and start to fool around and i bring my hands downtown and shes really into it. all of a sudden she has tears streaming from her eyes and tells me to stop

. Im like , "whats wrong?"...shes like "I dont know, Its burning!!!" She rips off the rest of her clothes and runs to the bathroom which is right next to my moms room. i run in after her, she runs the tub faucet, lays in the tub on her back, and straddles the faucet with her legs in the air on full blast, freezing cold, now screaming

with relief from the burn and a frozen vagina. My mother wakes up, sees clothes scattered to the bathroom and basically thought i was either drowning some girl or raping her. that was the worst convo with my mother ever

. Point of the story..Even if u wash your hands twice, buffalo wing sauce can get in your your nail beds, and when its that hot,... be careful.

thats hot

ihust1e · Jan 23, 2012

Originally Posted by akajaedeuce

Originally Posted by MisterP0315

And finally...I was smashing my then GF, she breathed hard one time while we were kissing and a booger came down on my lip. I didn't want to ruin the moment so I ate it.

Click to expand...

Bert. · Jan 23, 2012

Originally Posted by ColdCity

Originally Posted by DMoney82

Never said this to anyone. Swear on my daughter. I met up with this chic and went to her hotel. We chopped it up, talked for a while and then I finally made the move. Grabbed her face and started kissing her. Made out for like 5 minutes and got naked. We turned the lamp off next to the bed but I could see a little from the moonlight shinning through the balcony door. I was going to WORK!! I was slam effing this chic and she loved it. So I figured after I made her climax so many times I'ma eat the box and show her my other skills. I go down and so she's going crazy, I'm feeling like the mannn! Next thing you know I taste something funny but I'm like oh, she's just cumming. Then I smelled something.. jumped up and turned the lights on. All I saw was red. She goes 'OMG!' I wipe my face and blood is all on my hand. I run straight in the bathroom and throw up. She comes in and ask am I Ok... I look at her with disgust while I'm scrubbing my face and mouth. I said 'Man you was on your god damn period and you knew it!' She said no, you just screwed me too hard! I swear I'm not. She sits on the bed while I'm getting dressed and we are both quiet. I get up and leave. Never spoke to her again, only a few words on twitter.

SMH

/Real Life.

Click to expand...

so you went from piping to eatin

i am disgust

son did it wrong

its eat then beat

not the other way around.

jdiggs · Jan 23, 2012

Back when i was a youngin in high school, me n my ex would go back to my house and smash after school while no one was home. One day i felt a bit creative and wanted to money shot the girl for the first time. The sessions were always good and we would always be super into it.. then i thought i was going to nut so i wio in her face and got ready to drop a load right between her eyes. But i was wrong, i found myself standing over her akwardly fapping in her face. She looked and smiled at me, then she busted out laughing. I told her "just shut up and take this" then she proceeded to not get sprayed but oozed with thick nut. She sat there with a .____. look on her face then she busted out laughing again decorated with man juice still and everything.. i said never again with that beezy..

swag odie · Jan 23, 2012

Originally Posted by eashawty

Originally Posted by DajonDondo

U got any @ mytmous? any?

76 so ur 35?

im sure u must have been through alot...

Click to expand...

this guy

Deleted member 38182 · Jan 23, 2012

Ehh I'm not really that good at story telling so my story is gonna sound like cliff notes

Me and my girl got really drunk after a party we threw at her apartment.

We let some folks stay the night in the living room which is adjacent to our room.

We decided to have really really drunk sex. Like we got it in, and was just super sloppy. I was on some super-saiyan steez with my thrusts while she was riding the d.

Each pump got progressively rougher until finally and thrusted so hard that I threw her off the d and in to the wall. Loudest bang ever. If that sex didn't wake up the folks in the living room, the bang had to have.

Left a bruise on her head. It was hilarious. Que laughter.

Another time we had drunk sex and all I remember was that I gave her my best Victor Ortiz impression and head butted the !%#* out of her. She got pissed and deaded the night

boi · Jan 23, 2012

nahhhhh... rck wins, i know you got more stories

Deleted member 38182 · Jan 23, 2012

My girl was doming me up like a champ before we went out for dinner with a group of friends.

She was doing her thing.... I was expecting her to swallow as usual.

Well like 10 minutes passes (idk why, but it takes me for ever to bust compared when get head compared to sex) and I'm finally read to bust.

And I do, busted all up in her mouth.... She has my baby batter in her mouth for a good 3 seconds and proceeds to spit it out all on my new shirt like a boss.

At first I was like FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

But then after a minute all I could do was change shirts and laugh since we have been dating for forever now.

Not really why she didn't just swallow. Stupid girl.

atlien seeko · Jan 23, 2012

Originally Posted by dunks87

when i was in high school i got a brand new bedroom set and i wanted my boyfriend to see it but my mom would never allow boys in my room, so one day i decided that we would skip track practice and go to my house and hang out in my room for awhile. neither of us had a car so my boyfriend's best friend drove us to my place and he waited out in the driveway. we didn't plan to stay in there too long and soon as i got to my room my mom started calling me constantly on my cell phone but i didn't answer because i was at "track practice" me and BF start kissing and looking at the mirrors on my bed and he starts kissing my lower area...about 2 minutes into it my mom barges in my room and catches him with his face below going to town. i jump up and hide on the other side of the bed while she's screaming at both of us. she tells him to get out, so he takes his shirt and leaves. im naked from the waist down trying to find some pants or something and she's going off talking about how she just knew she needed to come home early today. damn parental intuition. after she "cooled off" she did applaud me for being strong and abstaining from intercourse, since i was a virgin when all this happened. memories...smh

mco85 · Jan 23, 2012

I told this story in the last one of these threads but I'll never forget this day so I'll tell it again.

So I am in high school and I've been trying to get at this chick forever, now this girl is beautiful, to this day she is one of the prettiest girls I have ever met. Anyway, after a couple of phone convos and a movie date or two she agrees to go to the drive in with me. So we are at the drive in, I was driving a 1996 Toyota forerunner, you can lay the seats down in that truck and its like a bed. So we are making out In the back and I say @%#@ it I'm gonna go for it. So I start to take her clothes off and I'm getting excited, like I said I'm in high school at the time and this girl is $%*%+@$ beautiful. So I take her panties off and see that this girl has a full on bush like never shaved at all. At the time, I'm young and relatively inexperienced and I think to myself "that's kind of odd" but like I said, this girl is fine as he'll so I'm not going to let this stop me. So I get on top of her and the at the very instant of penetration the most horrible smell I've ever smelled explodes through the truck. Immediately I start to feel sick and my junk gets limp as a noodle. I throw my boxers on, open the door and throw up. Mind you we are at the drive in and people are looking at me like im crazy. She asks me whats wrong and I said it must be food poisoning and say we have to go home. So I drive home with all five windows down (it's cold as hell) drop her off and park in my driveway. I leave all the windows cracked to let the car air out a bit. In the morning my mom gets in the car because I parked behind her and asks me why the car smelled like that and I just told her I didn't know what she was talking about. For the next two or three weeks after that I couldn't get an erection, I thought my junk was broken forever

Deleted member 38182 · Jan 24, 2012

Lots of smelly va-Gina's up in here lol.

I got one bout stank Gina's but I'm on my phone now so it's kinda hard to type out. p4l

atlien seeko · Jan 24, 2012

^^^ Damn, that's a sad story.

Hygiene stories are always the best/worse. You would think girls would know their bodies by the time they start sexin

Deleted member 38182 · Jan 24, 2012

Mine is a goodie. I will spend all day writing on it and try to make it a good narretive aka make it complete thoughts in a few paragraphs lol.

dallassneakerhead08 · Jan 24, 2012

Originally Posted by mco85

I told this story in the last one of these threads but I'll never forget this day so I'll tell it again.

So I am in high school and I've been trying to get at this chick forever, now this girl is beautiful, to this day she is one of the prettiest girls I have ever met. Anyway, after a couple of phone convos and a movie date or two she agrees to go to the drive in with me. So we are at the drive in, I was driving a 1996 Toyota forerunner, you can lay the seats down in that truck and its like a bed. So we are making out In the back and I say @%#@ it I'm gonna go for it. So I start to take her clothes off and I'm getting excited, like I said I'm in high school at the time and this girl is $%*%+@$ beautiful. So I take her panties off and see that this girl has a full on bush like never shaved at all. At the time, I'm young and relatively inexperienced and I think to myself "that's kind of odd" but like I said, this girl is fine as he'll so I'm not going to let this stop me. So I get on top of her and the at the very instant of penetration the most horrible smell I've ever smelled explodes through the truck. Immediately I start to feel sick and my junk gets limp as a noodle. I throw my boxers on, open the door and throw up. Mind you we are at the drive in and people are looking at me like im crazy. She asks me whats wrong and I said it must be food poisoning and say we have to go home. So I drive home with all five windows down (it's cold as hell) drop her off and park in my driveway. I leave all the windows cracked to let the car air out a bit. In the morning my mom gets in the car because I parked behind her and asks me why the car smelled like that and I just told her I didn't know what she was talking about. For the next two or three weeks after that I couldn't get an erection, I thought my junk was broken forever

KMante · Jan 24, 2012

Originally Posted by rck2sactown

Mine is a goodie. I will spend all day writing on it and try to make it a good narretive aka make it complete thoughts in a few paragraphs lol.

datpiff110 · Jan 24, 2012

**** going soft

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Post your most embarrassing sexual encounters Vol. 2012

kramer

ervinsb91

ajmasta

coldcity

h01yshnik3s

staystrong

23likemike23

gregzzy23

pip777

rusty shackelford

ihust1e

Bert.

jdiggs

swag odie

Deleted member 38182

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boi

Deleted member 38182

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atlien seeko

mco85

Deleted member 38182

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atlien seeko

Deleted member 38182

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dallassneakerhead08

KMante

datpiff110

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