January 14, 2011:
The Rolling Stones said it best, "You, you make a dead man cum." A
38 year old female mortuary worker is being held on $250,000 bond after
becoming pregnant by one of her clients-a dead man. The alleged crime
took place at the Mourning Glory Mortuary just outside of Lexington,
Missouri. Police have charged Felicity Marmaduke with desecration of
the dead and necrophilia.
According to a statement made to police
by Marmaduke, the alleged victim experienced a post mortem erection
while being bathed. Being alone, Marmaduke straddled the dead man and
proceeded have sex with him. Much to her surprise, the alleged victim
came to orgasm after several minutes. A few weeks later, Marmaduke had a
positive pregnancy test while receiving a routine medical exam. Upon
telling her doctor the circumstances leading to the conception, the
police were notified. Marmaduke was arrested without incident at her
dilapidated trailer home a few blocks from the mortuary.
In a bizarre twist, Marmaduke plans to sue the dead man's estate for child support.