Cubicle Life : VOL: OFFICE SPACE (DRAMA, BEEF, STORIES, TALES, et. al) - Share your work life

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runningfishy

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Not sure if this has been done yet, but wanted to use this as a place to vent, or hang out if you're having a 'slow' day at the office.

I don't know if I've shared this before, but we have a men's only bathroom near our cubicles. Anyhow, one time I went in and took a dump, and it was bad because it was a Monday. I had the beer farts, the sushi, and it splattered the toilet really bad. As I was crapping, I heard the door swung open and multiple foot steps came in. I then heard a serires of dialogue engage and it was an 'extended' conversation. I was stuck there, thinking why these two foolios wanted to smell the dodo air and talk in the bathroom. More so, I was stuck in crouching tiger mode and couldn't wipe my butt w/o disclosing movement behind those door creases !!! lolz

- - - - -

There's also this dude that sits nears me and constantly makes these gagging type of noises. It's like his method of clearing his throat, but it's freaking irritating and feels like he needs help. I silent LOL when he does that.
 
I received this email 2 days ago and thought it was funny cause it's really like 3 people this was aimed at.

RE: Notice regarding blankets/snuggies in the workplace

Hey everyone,

This message is being sent to all of you regarding the wearing of blankets, robes and/or snuggies in the workplace.......unfortunately, it is best that we refrain from using these types of blankets at our desks and in the offices as a general rule. Our supervisors has requested this, so we must adhere to their wishes. Yes, at times our fishbowl can get cold and a bit nippy and the need for a blanket, robe or snuggie would definitely serve the purpose of keeping you warm; however, we suggest that you wear a sweater or jacket instead. Wearing blankets while we sit at our desks or walking around the offices with your robe or snuggie on does not convey a professional workplace image, so let's be mindful of this moving forward.

Any questions, please feel free to ask your supervisor or manager.

Thank you,
Click to expand...

:lol:
 
Like Ninja said, these official threads will be the death of general

By the end of the year, the whole page will be filled with threads on specific subjects

Oh well, can't stop it, might as well join the wave

In for the lulz
 
There is this Vietnamese guy that consistently smacks his mouse and burps out loud with no regard when he eats lunch at his desk.

His accent is real thick that it just becomes unpleasant to hear and sometimes he comes off as a complete jerk on the phone when he talks to his co workers.

It also doesn't help that every time I give him the friendly nod saying Hi, he gives me the stone face or cold shoulder.

I'm asian too BTW. :lol:
 
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With my intended degree ill probably end up in an office setting and there's always this fantasy in the back of my mind that my workplace will be just like the one in the show The Office.
 
was busting for a crap this afternoon so i thought for the first time ever id use the public toilets. i walk in there and there was only 2 toilets in there, both taken. so i stood by the sink holding in this mega boris. all i could think about was how good this will feel after i unleash the demon within, and while standing i could slowly feel the head leave its mark on my undies. 5 minutes pass and im still waiting in the quiet, listening to grunting and the 'plop' sound of the boris hitting the water. i couldnt hold this in any further, so i had to sya something. "how long will you guys be?". no answer. "i need to **** real bad i can feel it coming". "shutup and wait your turn" he says. another minute passses and usually i can hold this in but today was real bad. i couldnt do it any longer, so was time for plan b, **** in the sink. pulled down my pants and started grunting loudly and you could hear the boris slide down the sink. one of the guys then yelled "wtf r u doing" and opened his door, so i flashed my penis at him. he qikly closed the door and then i heard the toilet paper begin to roll. i only got one **** out but it was enuf, i used the paper towels to wipe my ***, and turned on the hand dryer so the hot air would make the **** smell even more. i heard his belt buckle and as i ran out i yelled "dont forget to wash your hands" and threw one of my paper towels with **** on it over in his cubicle.
 
Jay02 said:
With my intended degree ill probably end up in an office setting and there's always this fantasy in the back of my mind that my workplace will be just like the one in the show The Office.
Click to expand...

It will be exactly like that. Every office is like that. Might be cool for a week while you get to know everyone and crack some jokes but that **** gets terrible pretty quick.

And snuggies in the office? What the hell kind of office would people think that would be ok in?!?!
 
j00k said:
was busting for a crap this afternoon so i thought for the first time ever id use the public toilets. i walk in there and there was only 2 toilets in there, both taken. so i stood by the sink holding in this mega boris. all i could think about was how good this will feel after i unleash the demon within, and while standing i could slowly feel the head leave its mark on my undies. 5 minutes pass and im still waiting in the quiet, listening to grunting and the 'plop' sound of the boris hitting the water. i couldnt hold this in any further, so i had to sya something. "how long will you guys be?". no answer. "i need to **** real bad i can feel it coming". "shutup and wait your turn" he says. another minute passses and usually i can hold this in but today was real bad. i couldnt do it any longer, so was time for plan b, **** in the sink. pulled down my pants and started grunting loudly and you could hear the boris slide down the sink. one of the guys then yelled "wtf r u doing" and opened his door, so i flashed my penis at him. he qikly closed the door and then i heard the toilet paper begin to roll. i only got one **** out but it was enuf, i used the paper towels to wipe my ***, and turned on the hand dryer so the hot air would make the **** smell even more. i heard his belt buckle and as i ran out i yelled "dont forget to wash your hands" and threw one of my paper towels with **** on it over in his cubicle.
Click to expand...


:x :smh: bro
 
xfile 11 said:
It will be exactly like that. Every office is like that. Might be cool for a week while you get to know everyone and crack some jokes but that **** gets terrible pretty quick.
And snuggies in the office? What the hell kind of office would people think that would be ok in?!?!
Click to expand...

No like I want to work with a goofy *** Michael Scott for a boss or a weird Dwight and watch constant pranking :lol:
 
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j00k said:
was busting for a crap this afternoon so i thought for the first time ever id use the public toilets. i walk in there and there was only 2 toilets in there, both taken. so i stood by the sink holding in this mega boris. all i could think about was how good this will feel after i unleash the demon within, and while standing i could slowly feel the head leave its mark on my undies. 5 minutes pass and im still waiting in the quiet, listening to grunting and the 'plop' sound of the boris hitting the water. i couldnt hold this in any further, so i had to sya something. "how long will you guys be?". no answer. "i need to **** real bad i can feel it coming". "shutup and wait your turn" he says. another minute passses and usually i can hold this in but today was real bad. i couldnt do it any longer, so was time for plan b, **** in the sink. pulled down my pants and started grunting loudly and you could hear the boris slide down the sink. one of the guys then yelled "wtf r u doing" and opened his door, so i flashed my penis at him. he qikly closed the door and then i heard the toilet paper begin to roll. i only got one **** out but it was enuf, i used the paper towels to wipe my ***, and turned on the hand dryer so the hot air would make the **** smell even more. i heard his belt buckle and as i ran out i yelled "dont forget to wash your hands" and threw one of my paper towels with **** on it over in his cubicle.
Click to expand...


A for effort on this one.
 
Jay02 said:
No like I want to work with a goofy *** Michael Scott for a boss or a weird Dwight and watch constant pranking :lol:
Click to expand...

No you don't...

Haven't had a goofball, yet lovable boss like Michael Scott. I've had a boss that was nice but didn't have a clue, wasn't fun to work for. It was frustrating. Also had a boss, who was kind of a prick but handled business and fought for us behind closed doors. Awesome boss to work for.

I've worked with a guy we dubbed "Dwight Schrute", however, in real life your Human Resources department will not be as spineless as Toby from The Office. This dude would rat on anyone and everyone. So we dubbed him Randal as well (from the cartoon Recess).

The good thing about the show The Office is that you will see those characters in real life settings, unfortunately they are not as lovable :lol:... :frown:
 
There's so much to be said about the characters I work with :smh: . I do not work with even one single normal person...NOT ONE.

I really can't even begin to explain all the strange personalities...maybe if the thread is still up later I will.

Just thinking about them all tires me :lol:
 
this lady stays playing farmville like its all the rage. whenever i walk by her desk you can see her minimize the window to an XML file.

im the first person in the office (6 am) and ill play music outloud until i know the next person gets in at about 6:30 or so. got caught singing "call me maybe" by her, but i regret nothing.
 
Jay02 said:
No like I want to work with a goofy *** Michael Scott for a boss or a weird Dwight and watch constant pranking :lol:
Click to expand...

nah i don't think you really do. that **** is fun to watch, but in a work environment where you have to be everyday around weirdos and clashing personalities that will eventually add to it and become a nuisance.
 
Great Thread

When I was first hired, they placed me in the printer storage room. Everybody could see what I was doing on my screen. People would say good morning and I wouldn't know if they were saying it to me because my back was to the door.

I just moved into a new office room. Got 2 monitors and I'm the only one who can see what I'm looking at :smokin
Job is real chill. Not too much stress. I work in a small environment so I don't see that many personalities clashing.
 
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I received this email 2 days ago and thought it was funny cause it's really like 3 people this was aimed at.
RE: Notice regarding blankets/snuggies in the workplace

Hey everyone,

This message is being sent to all of you regarding the wearing of blankets, robes and/or snuggies in the workplace.......unfortunately, it is best that we refrain from using these types of blankets at our desks and in the offices as a general rule. Our supervisors has requested this, so we must adhere to their wishes. Yes, at times our fishbowl can get cold and a bit nippy and the need for a blanket, robe or snuggie would definitely serve the purpose of keeping you warm; however, we suggest that you wear a sweater or jacket instead. Wearing blankets while we sit at our desks or walking around the offices with your robe or snuggie on does not convey a professional workplace image, so let's be mindful of this moving forward.

Any questions, please feel free to ask your supervisor or manager.

Thank you,
Click to expand...
Click to expand...

lol who was caught fapping???
 
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