RustyShackleford
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^^^ You can't post about "adult films" "adult film stars" or explicit stuff. Your post will get deleted and if a ton of people join in the mods will lock the thread
Crazy stories from your job.
- Thread in 'General' Thread starter Started by atlien seeko,
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ahhh ic ic....then no more crazy stories from my job. lol
Ja's 2¢
formerly vcshoxj6
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this is why you have to love these stories because of the analogies. 
Ava Devine and Triple H's pedigree in one story 
.
Ava Devine and Triple H's pedigree in one story .
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Can you tell the stories without illustrations??
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lol I usually did, but I think I had to go really bad and this one was closer.
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macc e-money
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I have 2 ok stories... both involve me ****in up safety wise lol
While i was 18, I worked in a Factory. Mixing chemicals and labeling bottles for a small business that made biodegradeable cleaning products. Well, my Manager was really the main chemical mixer and i picked up and learned as I went. Making the easier products that took less measurements and that I was capable of making. Well one day, he was mixing powders to make the powder laundry detergent. After it mixes, I empty this big 100 gallon mixerm (might have been 500gallon idk) Emptying it is pie and shop vaccuming the remainder is a cakewalk too. Ive done it a million times. Well, As i was doing it this time, I reached far in to vacum some hard to reach spots and BAM the hose disconnected and shot detergent straight in my eyes. Me being the cocky youngin i was, wasnt wearing safety gogglesd for some odd reason. Well, That might have been top 3 on worse pain in my life. Felt like the devil pissed in my eyes, then poured lighter fluid over it. Not exaggerating.... Luckily I didnt go blind and wasnt seriously injured. Could have easily lost my sight.
Another one I was cooking at a sportsbar. Im a former chef/cook of 6-7yrs. Well, one night i was closing like every other night. Another average/slow night so I was Working hard and fast to get out early. So as Im mopping the cook line, A server (who I was diggin pretty bad and she knew it) needed a knife to cut lemons. A job servers do before closing. Guess their small server knife for cutting was dirty or lost.... whatever the case she shouldnt have bothered me in my "get the F outta here" mode. Going all fast and dumb, I grab the knife by the tip, go to give it to her through the serving/heating window... and me not looking hit one of the support bars that holds the whole little shelfing/heating unit up. When I hit that, the tip of the chef blade jams in the ball of my hand by my thumbs. I drop the knife, turn left and WHOOOOSHHHHHH I slip like a movie flying horizontal in the air and BAM fall on my back. Remember i was mopping??? As it was funny, i was still in pain from stabbing myself. Luckily i only neede a few stitched and could laugh about the falling part later as it was on camera and now the WHOLE staff got wind and wanted to replay it. Yeah, I was the laughing stock for a bit lol
Real quick one, Buddy of mine on the cook line cut his finger a little. He puts a band-aid on it, wraps some mediacl tape and says "Hey E, can you cut this tape" I walk over (mind you i was having a bad day) I pull the tape up to cut it, a draw back about 4-6 inches, go to slice it and BAM straight stabbed him with the blade on the tip of his index. Was a NASTY gash, I felt like an ***** after.....
While i was 18, I worked in a Factory. Mixing chemicals and labeling bottles for a small business that made biodegradeable cleaning products. Well, my Manager was really the main chemical mixer and i picked up and learned as I went. Making the easier products that took less measurements and that I was capable of making. Well one day, he was mixing powders to make the powder laundry detergent. After it mixes, I empty this big 100 gallon mixerm (might have been 500gallon idk) Emptying it is pie and shop vaccuming the remainder is a cakewalk too. Ive done it a million times. Well, As i was doing it this time, I reached far in to vacum some hard to reach spots and BAM the hose disconnected and shot detergent straight in my eyes. Me being the cocky youngin i was, wasnt wearing safety gogglesd for some odd reason. Well, That might have been top 3 on worse pain in my life. Felt like the devil pissed in my eyes, then poured lighter fluid over it. Not exaggerating.... Luckily I didnt go blind and wasnt seriously injured. Could have easily lost my sight.
Another one I was cooking at a sportsbar. Im a former chef/cook of 6-7yrs. Well, one night i was closing like every other night. Another average/slow night so I was Working hard and fast to get out early. So as Im mopping the cook line, A server (who I was diggin pretty bad and she knew it) needed a knife to cut lemons. A job servers do before closing. Guess their small server knife for cutting was dirty or lost.... whatever the case she shouldnt have bothered me in my "get the F outta here" mode. Going all fast and dumb, I grab the knife by the tip, go to give it to her through the serving/heating window... and me not looking hit one of the support bars that holds the whole little shelfing/heating unit up. When I hit that, the tip of the chef blade jams in the ball of my hand by my thumbs. I drop the knife, turn left and WHOOOOSHHHHHH I slip like a movie flying horizontal in the air and BAM fall on my back. Remember i was mopping??? As it was funny, i was still in pain from stabbing myself. Luckily i only neede a few stitched and could laugh about the falling part later as it was on camera and now the WHOLE staff got wind and wanted to replay it. Yeah, I was the laughing stock for a bit lol
Real quick one, Buddy of mine on the cook line cut his finger a little. He puts a band-aid on it, wraps some mediacl tape and says "Hey E, can you cut this tape" I walk over (mind you i was having a bad day) I pull the tape up to cut it, a draw back about 4-6 inches, go to slice it and BAM straight stabbed him with the blade on the tip of his index. Was a NASTY gash, I felt like an ***** after.....
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Damn, bad luck Brian all day ^
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That's what I did but i guess my story was to explicit. lol
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Here is one of many stories about the wild LP that used to work at Sports Authority with me
A mom and daughter come into the store pushing a baby in a stroller (there is really a baby in it). I know the girl, went to HS with her, she says she needs help with shoes. So I ask one of the other dudes to help her since that ain't my section. About 15 mins past and I she this chick sprinting up the isle pushing the baby stroller. She ducks into one of the side isles without saying a word to me. About 30 secs later the Lost Prevention (LP) comes running up asking if I seen a girl with a stroller. I say yeah she just went that way and he says "find her, she stole some shoes and she got it hiding in the stroller"
So it wasn't long until he caught up to her at the front of the store. Now this is where things get interesting. As soon as he eyes her the mom who was in on the theft comes running up. They are right next to the exit doors, each to close enough that he could catch one, but far enough away he can't catch both. Associates and managers aren't allowed to help in captures.This is a strict, strict company policy. Now the LP got the a decision to make, mom or daughter. Since the daughter had the baby he goes for the mom.
He catches the mom easily just outside the store and is holding her, trying to drag her back into the store. She is fighting him like crazy, calling him all kinds of M-Fers. Now he is telling her to calm down but like most women that are worked up, she doesn't. Then she starts hitting him, he tells her stop, but she doesn't. She is throwing haymakers at this point, kinda lighting dude up too. But homeboy's chin was Ava Devine sturdy so he was eating him like a champ. Finally he gets her in a half nelson. Homegirl is squirming like crazy. Eventually gets herself turned around facing the LP. She then proceeds to fire off a knee to towards his bawls.
BIG MISTAKE
LAWD O' LAWD BIG MISTAKE
In one smoove motion homeboy grabs her arms while she is still facing him and it was "time to play the game" word to HHH. The LP then executes a mean Pedigree on his bish.
For the brahs who don't know what a Pedigree is, peep these fools getting dropped on their heads
Ole girl hits the concrete with some force but doesn't get knocked out. She is now rolling on the down riving in pain. Lucky for the LP she didn't get cut or seriously hurt. A old white lady saw the whole thing and was telling the LP "how could you do that to a lady". Homeboy's response was "This ain't no lady". Plus when the mom sued (I mean who wouldn't), the tape showed her attacking him first show they deemed the Pedigree self defense. Dude now works for DC police
TL;DR
-Mom and daughter come into store to steal
-LP catches mom lets daughter escape
-Mom decides she wants to play the Game
-Mom gets turned up
-LP turns her back down
-LP is the new WWE champ
Can't Breathe
Lmfao *DEAD*
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joepac12
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I worked at tmobile while a freshmen in college. Pay was decent considering commission could easily be more than my hourly pay. I had a piece of crap manager named kwanza. He was a couple years older than me but since he was a manager he used to throw his weight around and act like he was better then all of us reps. We had a new kid start one day and him and kwanza got into it the first week on the job. Kwanza used to steal sales all the time from sales reps. He would go in the computer and add him name to all the sales so he would receive half the commission because back then we could split commission if the situation called for it. The new kid name was will and he wasn't happy with kwanza stealing his sale. He called the manager out his name and told him he dared him to come out the kiosk. Kwanza said no. Mind u this is at 5pm so customers are here while they are arguing. 15 min go by of them wilding and a small crowd appears. Will calls his homeboys and they surround the kiosk. I'm cool with will somim chilling laughing at our manager. Kwanza was 6'2 240 but refused to leave the kiosk. He called mall security to escort him from the kiosk to a police cruiser to get a ride home. He got clowned for that forever and will didn't get fired. Lol. I haven't seen kwanza since and this was in 06 but I heard he recently got fired from sprint. Lol
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lightweight champion
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Kwanza deserved that, stealing other people's money ain't cool.
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Lol a kwanza
But really, where's rusty with the stories. He's got us all addicted
But really, where's rusty with the stories. He's got us all addicted
celtixhalfshell
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man....
i had like 7 (tops) quoted and ready for some responses and safari quits on me.....SMH
so, moving right along.....chuck e cheese....power walkin = dead
dude eatin shrimp and dyin settin up the guy who said his story was apool party and party-goers though the chopper was 'part of the festivities' = dead
ol boy in target wearin the wrestling pants re-living the glory days= dead
dude pullin out gun (but had nothin to do with the altercation) = dead (VERY much i can laugh at this seeing as how no1 was hurt)
rusty commin thru with the imagery
shoot what else.....ol boy on last page talkin bout chemical mixin (didnt read whole story but sounded like some mistake-havin shenanigans..........but add in the dudes avy and i was dead)
plus a fewothers.....not bad nt
my story (nothin maja)......ok so way back when, i was doin the FL gig and one of the doodz in there was black light skin, with the receding hairline and fat nose (just picture ol boy from zelda ocarina of time.....the farmer dude if i recall correctly). and ill never forget when we were talkin personal hisroty and he told me how he married a white woman and said, "yeah. she's caucasian". like as if he's gottin ish for it in the past and wanted to just laugh with u at that point......so.....long story short one day im with him one day workin and this big burly dark skinned comes in....prolly his age (middle-aged) and immediately starts pickin on him. callin him house N this, house N that. just straight flambayin' the brotha. she takes one look at me and doesnt even start with me. and he says "bless you!" as she leaves the store. i genuinely felt bad for him.
other than this just a few ladies hittin on me here and there when i worked retail. not much.
no humble brag becuz i didnt smash any of them (or is that a humble brag?) lmao
i had like 7 (tops) quoted and ready for some responses and safari quits on me.....SMH
so, moving right along.....chuck e cheese....power walkin = dead
dude eatin shrimp and dyin settin up the guy who said his story was apool party and party-goers though the chopper was 'part of the festivities' = dead
ol boy in target wearin the wrestling pants re-living the glory days= dead
dude pullin out gun (but had nothin to do with the altercation) = dead (VERY much i can laugh at this seeing as how no1 was hurt)
rusty commin thru with the imagery
shoot what else.....ol boy on last page talkin bout chemical mixin (didnt read whole story but sounded like some mistake-havin shenanigans..........but add in the dudes avy and i was dead)
plus a fewothers.....not bad nt
my story (nothin maja)......ok so way back when, i was doin the FL gig and one of the doodz in there was black light skin, with the receding hairline and fat nose (just picture ol boy from zelda ocarina of time.....the farmer dude if i recall correctly). and ill never forget when we were talkin personal hisroty and he told me how he married a white woman and said, "yeah. she's caucasian". like as if he's gottin ish for it in the past and wanted to just laugh with u at that point......so.....long story short one day im with him one day workin and this big burly dark skinned comes in....prolly his age (middle-aged) and immediately starts pickin on him. callin him house N this, house N that. just straight flambayin' the brotha. she takes one look at me and doesnt even start with me. and he says "bless you!" as she leaves the store. i genuinely felt bad for him.
other than this just a few ladies hittin on me here and there when i worked retail. not much.
no humble brag becuz i didnt smash any of them (or is that a humble brag?) lmao
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^ yo make that story longer. I don't know what went on to make dude pick on him. Elaborate plz
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Not really crazy, but just a few from a job I worked in college
1) I worked at a grocery store when I was in college. From 6pm-closing we had a legit sheriff standing in the front for security. One night this guy came in all nasty looking and **** with a big *** jacket on during the summer...dude we to the meat department no damns given and started stuffing steaks, crab legs, etc in his jacket...dude I worked with informed the sheriff. So the guy was leaving the store and the sheriff walked out after him int he parking lot shouting at him to stop etc...dude just kept power walking to a car that was parked all the way at the end of the lot..Next thing you know sheriff pulls out his taser and fires...dude looked like he got crossed up by A.I. in his prime..when this guy was shaking falling to the floor all the steaks fell out (**** was hilarious to me seeing the steaks and **** fly everywhere) dude hits the floor and pisses on himself.
2) Same spot as story 1....I was a stocker the last 2 years or so that I worked at the store. We had an assistant manager who was kinda cool, but a pain in the *** at the same time. He always rocked a curly mullet with his gray/black hair, and when he came in on his off days he wore this old *** Cowboys hat that looked like it had pissed stains on it. Anyway all of the stockers we always got along and joked non stop on the job but got that **** done so we can get the hell off work...the guy would always have little huddle meetings and **** like we were working at some real business job or something. Anyway he was telling us to put the extra items on some floats in the back, and some extra items that he ordered that was on special that week on a float he called "planned promotions"..so in the middle of saying planned promotions, he starts going Porky Pig on us and has a mini stutter attack and drool literally drips out of his mouth and lands in his dress shirt pocket...no lies...I ******g lost it and we all couldn't stop laughing
1) I worked at a grocery store when I was in college. From 6pm-closing we had a legit sheriff standing in the front for security. One night this guy came in all nasty looking and **** with a big *** jacket on during the summer...dude we to the meat department no damns given and started stuffing steaks, crab legs, etc in his jacket...dude I worked with informed the sheriff. So the guy was leaving the store and the sheriff walked out after him int he parking lot shouting at him to stop etc...dude just kept power walking to a car that was parked all the way at the end of the lot..Next thing you know sheriff pulls out his taser and fires...dude looked like he got crossed up by A.I. in his prime..when this guy was shaking falling to the floor all the steaks fell out (**** was hilarious to me seeing the steaks and **** fly everywhere) dude hits the floor and pisses on himself.
2) Same spot as story 1....I was a stocker the last 2 years or so that I worked at the store. We had an assistant manager who was kinda cool, but a pain in the *** at the same time. He always rocked a curly mullet with his gray/black hair, and when he came in on his off days he wore this old *** Cowboys hat that looked like it had pissed stains on it
. Anyway all of the stockers we always got along and joked non stop on the job but got that **** done so we can get the hell off work...the guy would always have little huddle meetings and **** like we were working at some real business job or something. Anyway he was telling us to put the extra items on some floats in the back, and some extra items that he ordered that was on special that week on a float he called "planned promotions"..so in the middle of saying planned promotions, he starts going Porky Pig on us and has a mini stutter attack and drool literally drips out of his mouth and lands in his dress shirt pocket...no lies...I ******g lost it and we all couldn't stop laughing
D
Deleted member 38182
Guest
What'd yall do with the steaks and ****?
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Worked at a clothing store and a grown *** lady decided to go to our fitting room and take a piss because she couldn't hold it anymore.
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It's on the 2nd page of this thread brah
Haha, there I go slipping again
I did read that one and completely forgot he posted that one...
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Lorenzo and all of Rustys stories are classics!
Ja's 2¢
formerly vcshoxj6
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rusty needs to tell more damnit
RustyShackleford
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New story by the end of the night or tomorrow morning brahs.
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