Am I in the wrong? Upset g/fs family on Christmas....

Quincy Powell said:
I'm assuming he is too young to realize that 3 months ain't nothing to be stressing over some woman. Older you get the more you don't let women and their antics either from family or herself bother you. Only reason why I'm so stuck on the 3 months. He got it in got out way before it could get out of hand. I just keep forgetting a lot of you a young and things effect you people more emotionally than you realize. Its easy for me to say at 28 I wouldn't even bother meeting a females parents 3 months in...6 at the lowest in. Maybe if I was 20 21 22 23... I would of jumped at the fact to meet a woman's parents and or stress a 3 month relationship. I totally understand he was just lashing out to get it out his system but it was just ridiculous to me.
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Different strokes. I'm the complete opposite. From 19-24 I wasn't trying to meet ANYBODY.

Now at 27, not so much.

For me, not showing interest in meeting the people who raised the person I'm dating just doesn't fly and I'd hope it wouldn't for her either.

The other family is going to irk you every now and then. Comes with the territory. There's no perfect situation other than the one you're willing to tolerate in order to flourish in the bigger picture.

*I don't advocate stressing over a woman after three months and you've lost her though.
 
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Dating for 3 months is not long enough to be ditching out on your family time to meet her fam, especially on Christmas. You went above and beyond just going there and sitting for 2 hours.

Your gf should have been more considerate of your time and just told her mom you will meet her when it's more convenient.

It's also some wild disrespect for her mom to try and  impede on your plans like that.

Remember, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Perhaps you should consider heading for the hills
 
Retro23J said:
Different strokes. I'm the complete opposite. From 19-24 I wasn't trying to meet ANYBODY.

Now at 27, not so much.

For me, not showing interest in meeting the people who raised the person I'm dating just doesn't fly and I'd hope it wouldn't for her either.

The other family is going to irk you every now and then. Comes with the territory. There's no perfect situation other than the one you're willing to tolerate in order to flourish in the bigger picture.

*I don't advocate stressing over a woman after three months and you've lost her though.
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I feel you but bottom line I still have issues getting close to women or being myself. Also don't take women seriously... I'm trying to work that out. I thought things would get easier when older...only thing that got easier was getting the woman. Dealing with them is something I refuse to do now. I keep choosing selfish extremely self centered women. Might finally take my mothers offer and meet women at church. :lol:
 
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Simp or no simp, this one hurts. I'll admit we spent way too much time together and moved to fast. Most time we've spent apart has been 2 days. Was like she was one of the homies. The relationship was so chill and laid back and going well. I'm feelin down :frown:

But I feel better about what I did. I know I didn't go about it the best way, and could have avoided it. But there is only so long she can let her crazy mom run her life while I stand by and watch.

Now off to the gym, haven't gone in about 11 days, which is the longest break i've had in a minute. Gonna let this be an opportunity to bulk up again and spend more time in my favorite place :smokin
 
Cragmatic said:
Simp or no simp, this one hurts. I'll admit we spent way too much time together and moved to fast. Most time we've spent apart has been 2 days. Was like she was one of the homies. The relationship was so chill and laid back and going well. I'm feelin down :frown:
But I feel better about what I did. I know I didn't go about it the best way, and could have avoided it. But there is only so long she can let her crazy mom run her life while I stand by and watch.
Now off to the gym, haven't gone in about 11 days, which is the longest break i've had in a minute. Gonna let this be an opportunity to bulk up again and spend more time in my favorite place :smokin
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You live and you learn. You are going to make mistake until you're old and gray. Life to me is how you bounce back from those mistakes and setbacks.
 
Quincy Powell said:
I feel you but bottom line I still have issues getting close to women or being myself. I'm trying to work that out. I thought things would get easier when older...only thing that got easier was getting the woman. Dealing with them is something I refuse to do now. I keep choosing selfish extremely self centered women. Might finally take my mothers offer and meet women at church.
laugh.gif
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laugh.gif
 
Cragmatic said:
Lol what didn't go well is I called her mom out on how she asked for me to make an effort to get to know her, and when I left my family to do so, she thought it'd be better to be hiding and smoking a "cig" because she's too crazy to handle social situations. Her mom's b/f and her sister both ganged up on me, trying to make me the bad guy when I was just calling out how I saw it. It ended with her B of a sister saying I could never support her because I work at best buy. Wait... didn't your husband work for staples? Aren't you an independent blogger with like 1000 followers? And pretty sure I've made your sister a lot happier than you are. Sorry for sticking up for her because she's to afraid to displease you even when it makes her unhappy. :smh: Havent heard from her since I left.
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I stand by the fact that OP did the right thing of defending himself and his actions.... I also agree with those saying that after he said his peace the first time he should've just left. OP you were wrong in engaging in any type of back and forth. Once you stated your peace, calmly, you should've just left. Truth be told, I'm surprised no one asked what the GF did in all of this. Did she speak on your behalf? Did she speak on her mother's behalf? Did she do ANYTHING????


And all this stuff about " disrespecting her in her house". Would have made it any better if he did at the parking lot of a Wal-mart? I'm like this, you can't disrespect someone PERIOD, and just because it's "your house" doesn't give you free range to talk to anybody any kind of way. I have a house, I have people over my house.... I don't talk to them any kind of way just because it's MY HOUSE. If I disrespect somebody and they call me on it, I can't pull the "oh you can't disrespect me in my house" card. I was man enough to throw a punch, so I should man enough to spar a few as a result of said punches. I love how people saying that OP is disrespectful but is totally ignoring the fact that he was at the house.... for two hours.... with seemingly no interaction with the person who was making it a big deal for him to be there. EVEN HAD THE G/F TALK TO THE MOM ABOUT IT , and the mom still played him like he was a non-factor. Life is cyclical, and it tends to move and work based on small actions that are directly connected to each other. I'm willing to bet that had the g/fs mom just been a tad bit more open, etc. the whole situation never would've happened. They would have ki-ki-ki'd over some stove top and dipped with no harm and no foul.


Also, a lot people are making it about sex... like "ooooh you missed out on yambs that night and for the next upcoming weeks" etc. You fapping with your tears etc. Which... sex is more important than having a peace of mind to some of you I'm gathering? Is sex THAT important to some of you? It's like all decisions some of you guys make are based on the presence or absence of sex. Any decision that results in the absence of sex ALWAYS equates to a loss. Not necessarily. I spent the better part of last year listening to a friend of mine go on and on about problems in his relationship and how his g/fs mother was involved (in a negative way) in many of those problems. How problems his g/f had with her mother directly impacted the relationship he had with his g/f I also have another friend who broke up with someone based on her dealings with her family. I know you guys may like to think that if a girl is fine and gives up the yambs she is a keeper, but for those of us who think about things past a few months your SOs family and relationship with their family has a profound impact on your relationship with your SO.



In the long run, which some of you don't think about, OP is probably better off. If he and his girl do indeed get back together they need to have a long, serious talk about her family.
 
Cragmatic said:
Simp or no simp, this one hurts. I'll admit we spent way too much time together and moved to fast. Most time we've spent apart has been 2 days. Was like she was one of the homies. The relationship was so chill and laid back and going well. I'm feelin down
frown.gif

But I feel better about what I did. I know I didn't go about it the best way, and could have avoided it. But there is only so long she can let her crazy mom run her life while I stand by and watch.
Click to expand...
What's the plan when she contacts you later? Where do you want it to go now?
 
Cragmatic said:
Simp or no simp, this one hurts. I'll admit we spent way too much time together and moved to fast. Most time we've spent apart has been 2 days. Was like she was one of the homies. The relationship was so chill and laid back and going well. I'm feelin down :frown:
But I feel better about what I did. I know I didn't go about it the best way, and could have avoided it. But there is only so long she can let her crazy mom run her life while I stand by and watch.
Now off to the gym, haven't gone in about 11 days, which is the longest break i've had in a minute. Gonna let this be an opportunity to bulk up again and spend more time in my favorite place :smokin
Click to expand...
Retro23J said:
What's the plan when she contacts you later? Where do you want it to go now?
Click to expand...


yea... I too think there might be a good chance she hits you back up.
 
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She just sat there the entire time and didn't say a word. Didn't stand up for me what so ever :smh:

Before I brought any of this up, she came from the kitchen and said she got in a fight with her mom because she even said to her mom herself why she wanted us to stay when she wasn't even spending time with us. My girl was trying to leave too... :smh:

And if she contacted me I would want to try to work things out I think. Before this incident things were so good... and I know I didn't handle it the best as I could. Had I handled it differently I wouldn't be in this position.
 
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Cragmatic said:
She just sat there the entire time and didn't say a word. Didn't stand up for me what so ever :smh:
Before I brought any of this up, she came from the kitchen and said she got in a fight with her mom because she even said to her mom herself why she wanted us to stay when she wasn't even spending time with us. My girl was trying to leave too... :smh:
And if she contacted me I would want to try to work things out I think. Before this incident things were so good... and I know I didn't handle it the best as I could. Had I handled it differently I wouldn't be in this position.
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Look.... the last line of this quoted text ..... call her, leave a VM saying that.... at least then she knows you feel some remorse. At that point if she still doesn't at least CONTACT you, then you two weren't as close as you thought.

If you really care about somebody you don't just leave them out in the wind cold turkey like that.
 
shes probably waiting for you to call and apologize..

if you think shes worth it, you should apologize, tell who you were upset that she didnt stand up for you and you felt cornered and disrespected and on xmas of all days...

and also set some boundaries about meeting with her family and that you dont want to deal with that until after you hit a year or so...

if you think shes not worth it and too much trouble for some loving then move on..
 
This man sounds like Dan Gilbert or a Cleveland Cavs fan when Lebron left for South Beach.

The 5 stages of Grief:

•Denial
•Anger
•Bargaining
•Depression
•Acceptance




Red flags and warning signs were created for a reason.
 
GatzbyGordon said:
shes probably waiting for you to call and apologize..

if you think shes worth it, you should apologize, tell who you were upset that she didnt stand up for you and you felt cornered and disrespected and on xmas of all days...
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That right there, shows that OP should not be the one apologizing.
 
LeoChild said:
That right there, shows that OP should not be the one apologizing.
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yeah no doubt..thats the perfect time to stand up for ya man..

how you gonna let ur man get dissed on x-mas day..and by the sister thats with a complete lame..

OP was doing her a favor leaving his fam early to make his girl happy..this chick seems very shallow my dude..

she must be young or just stupid...

you should just call her to tell her that you were pissed she didnt standup for you..dont apologize just tell her how you feel..get it off your chest and when you are done explaining just say that you had to get that off your chest cuz it ruined your x-mas..and that you gotta go you are about to hit the gym..
 
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Quincy Powell said:
Retro23J said:
:smh: Ya'll kill me with the only 3 months comments.
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I'm assuming he is too young to realize that 3 months ain't nothing to be stressing over some woman. Older you get the more you don't let women and their antics either from family or herself bother you. Only reason why I'm so stuck on the 3 months. He got it in got out way before it could get out of hand. I just keep forgetting a lot of you a young and things effect you people more emotionally than you realize. Its easy for me to say at 28 I wouldn't even bother meeting a females parents 3 months in...6 at the lowest in. Maybe if I was 20 21 22 23... I would of jumped at the fact to meet a woman's parents and or stress a 3 month relationship. I totally understand he was just lashing out to get it out his system but it was just ridiculous to me.
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This right here is the crux of most of the posts on NT. It's a stage in life, deal with it.
 
Craigmatic made the first "girl problem" thread in NT history, and has since made the most.

I really hope you find true love one day my man.
 
Doesn't really matter if you were right or wrong - you just dodged a bullet. If you saw this as a long term thing then you would be dealing with family crap forever - and that doesn't make for a quiet life.

It would be different if it was you and her against the world but this doesn't sound lie that.
 
LeoChild said:
That right there, shows that OP should not be the one apologizing.
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I agree with why OP did it, but not how he did it. No way you've only been with someone 3 months and they're putting s/o before mom/sister on Christmas day...in there house. 3 years? Okay.
3 months doesn't establish anything, that's like a summer fling.
 
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