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post #151 of 282

Mines a pissing story. 


In pre-school, it was recess time. I told my teacher I had to go to the bathroom and she told me to wait until recess was over. Well at that age, you don't wait to go potty. You just do it. So I went over to the fence by myself, started crying and started to let it flow. Teacher runs over and starts carrying me to the bathroom. All the while, I'm pissing on her chest. 

 

Fast forward a week later, it was recess time again. I had to go again so I tell the same teacher and she told me to hold it. She wanted to teach me a lesson. Bish didn't learn from the last time. So I went over to my spot. I saw the green grass turning yellow because of the last time. I started crying again and just pissed myself. My mom had to come in to take me home because the teachers had enough. Man she was pissed.

post #152 of 282
I did it today frown.gif I've been sick and was laying down with my girl and farted. As soon as I farted, I felt the squishiness and knew what I had done smh so embarrassing

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post #153 of 282
I have a pissing story too. I was in 1st grade and i wasnt the est behaved kid so the teacher didnt give in to my demands to go to the bathroom especiallysince it was almost the end of the day so i just sat in my seat and peed and we had those chairs that were kinda deep so it filled up with piss then overflowed onto the floor and no one noticed so i just sat there till the bell rang and i left my water bottle there so she might think it was water i spilled and i just left
post #154 of 282
I have a friend who craps himself in his sleep. One time he crapped in his cousins bed while he was asleep and just turned the mattress over and left it there for his cousin to find. The second time which was in 2011 I believe he crapped himself in his sleep, woke his mom up and she helped him clean it up....he is 29 btw mean.gif
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post #155 of 282
Quote:
Originally Posted by jcmojica24 View Post

I have a friend who craps himself in his sleep. One time he crapped in his cousins bed while he was asleep and just turned the mattress over and left it there for his cousin to find. The second time which was in 2011 I believe he crapped himself in his sleep, woke his mom up and she helped him clean it up....he is 29 btw mean.gif
Jesus. How does your friend sleep in a helmet?
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post #156 of 282
At the gym I turtled by accident.

My stomach has been growling all day but I didn't think much of it so when it came time to do leg presses I was mid way through my set when I let out a mean *** fart and as soon as it was over I knew what had just happened so I picked my stuff up and walked right out the gym and went home.

I didn't crap myself but it was too close of a call.
post #157 of 282
About last year.

Went to sleep sick, woke up with a wet turd on my boxers.frown.gif
post #158 of 282

laugh.gif @ this thread

post #159 of 282
I just did it a few minutes ago. SMH i've been having the guts something terrible and it got the better of me. I cleaned up, tossed them draws in the garbage and keep it moving wink.gif

Last time i did that though i made the mistake of putting that **** in the laundry mean.gif. My wife hit me with the DL Hughley tip" Ewww what the ##%$ is this?!" tired.gif
post #160 of 282
Quote:
Originally Posted by af1 1982 View Post

Mines a pissing story. 


In pre-school, it was recess time. I told my teacher I had to go to the bathroom and she told me to wait until recess was over. Well at that age, you don't wait to go potty. You just do it. So I went over to the fence by myself, started crying and started to let it flow. Teacher runs over and starts carrying me to the bathroom. All the while, I'm pissing on her chest. 

Fast forward a week later, it was recess time again. I had to go again so I tell the same teacher and she told me to hold it. She wanted to teach me a lesson. Bish didn't learn from the last time. So I went over to my spot. I saw the green grass turning yellow because of the last time. I started crying again and just pissed myself. My mom had to come in to take me home because the teachers had enough. Man she was pissed.

LMAO. roll.gif

I went to a catholic school for elementary and i remember this dude who does the same thing, except he does it inside the class room. This dude would sit at the corner away from everybody and just let it all go. sick.gif
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post #161 of 282
Quote:
Originally Posted by Law3001 View Post

I just did it a few minutes ago. SMH i've been having the guts something terrible and it got the better of me. I cleaned up, tossed them draws in the garbage and keep it moving wink.gif

Last time i did that though i made the mistake of putting that **** in the laundry mean.gif. My wife hit me with the DL Hughley tip" Ewww what the ##%$ is this?!" tired.gif

Son..
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Im from Florida, don't **** with me!
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Im from Florida, don't **** with me!
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post #162 of 282
Quote:
Originally Posted by DoS View Post

The last time was vicious.
I was in DC visiting some family. My pops decided that it would be a good idea to head over to this lobster shack 20 minutes away from the crib. We are taking this drive in rush hour traffic mind you. So during the drive to the shack I'm taking a nap, and when finally we get to the restaurant I order some of the best lobster I've ever had in my life. I'm eating it up. I'm feeling the spices and getting that butter in the mix. Finally I finish eating and I feel my stomach bothering me. This is normal for me, and I have no idea why restaurant food hurts my stomach, but it does. I decide to drop a duece before we leave. I do the deed, and I'm feeling confident that I'll make it back.
I get in the car. My dad is driving, my grandma is in the passenger seat, and I'm in the backseat sitting next to my sister and my friend. I was feeling kind of tight. My sister and I get into an argument, and then all of a sudden my stomach starts hurting again. I start panicing. B.M.F comes on the radio, and every Lex Luger bass drop is getting to me. I start screaming at my dad to drive faster. I'm pushing my sister to give me more room. I'm screaming at everyone in the car. Eventually my dad is going to fast that my grandma starts to panic and tells him to slow down. I TELL HIM NO. DON'T SLOW DOWN. I start feeling myself, and I start rapping with Rick Ross. Every "HUH" he says I say with him. Every time he says he's big meech, I say I'm Larry Hoover. The AC was on, and I was sweating too hard. At this point everyone is crying of laughter except my grandma because she is terrified. My Dad mocks me by looking back in the rearview mirror and crying of laughter. I couldn't believe it. We pull up like 2 blocks from the house and it was over. I tell them that it's too late. It's over. I let out the hugest sighs of my life. I had to sit in my **** for 2 blocks, and the walk over to the door you best believe I had my cheeks clenched. That shower was too degrading.

As I read this, I imagined dude chilling in the back seat of the car sweating bullets and rocking back and forth. He's thinking to himself, I really have to take a dump but I'll sing BMF just to pass the time. 

post #163 of 282
Quote:
johnnym215

Really. You a fool man.
post #164 of 282
This thread delivers roll.gif
post #165 of 282
Never... not yet at least eyes.gif

γιατί όχι

 

Ignotus Vex

 

GRAILED

 

 

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γιατί όχι

 

Ignotus Vex

 

GRAILED

 

 

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post #166 of 282
Quote:
Originally Posted by cguy610 View Post

Yuck, you guys need better control. Only once as an adult like 10 years ago. I had food poisoning and was throwing up at the same time. Food poisoning is no joke, I ain't even know it was possible to throw up and diarrhea at the same time. mean.gif

Basically the same here, except I was in the whip



















On the highway.
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post #167 of 282
Quote:
Originally Posted by chris82790 View Post

This thread delivers roll.gif


Indeed, most would say at the wrong time too.

Fancy cars, diamond rings, nice restaurants and those finer things lost our souls our hopes and dreams in the City of Angels.

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Fancy cars, diamond rings, nice restaurants and those finer things lost our souls our hopes and dreams in the City of Angels.

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post #168 of 282
i was at work once and i had to piss something fierce, i had on linen pants btw, so i run to the bathroom whip it out and proceed to piss , for some reason i was rushing and i out my penis back in my pants.....while i was still pissing mean.gifsick.gif , my entire legs were soaked with dank *** piss, spent the next 10 minutes trying to dry linen, eventually jus gave up[ and splashed water on my self like in 3rd grade, lied and said the sink splashed me
post #169 of 282

Greatness Awaits *PS4*

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Greatness Awaits *PS4*

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post #170 of 282

my girl told me this story the other day..thought id share.

 

 

when my girl was 6 or so she was playing at a friends house down the street from her house

 

she was too busy playing to stop and take a poop and especially at her friends house..

 

she starts heading home and cant hold it any longer, she had been holding it long enough already..

 

she poops herself and is terrified to go home...her favorite pink overalls are now ruined and she knows her mom is gonna whoop that behind when she gets home..

 

she steps inside and thinks she in the clear...then her mom comes from another room and catches a glimpse of this big brown lumpy stain on her butt..

 

she lost it and her first reaction was to spank her and when she did that, a bunch of it came out of the sides and ran down her leg..

 

laugh.gif

post #171 of 282

i was at my pops complex and decided to go out for a jog , about two blocks from his complex theres a beautiful neighborhood

and with amazing scenery and million dollar homes etc , i had eaten philly steak hot pockets and chocolate milk for breakfast

and went to the convenient store by his complex to grab some microwavable jamaican patties...this was a storm brewing.

up until that day i had been eating relatively well , i was turning a new pagewith my eating habbits  but my dad only keeps junk food in his house

and jamaican patties where the only thing edible in that convenient store....i feel real crappy about myself so i tell myself im gonna go

out for a jog , it is after all a nice neighborhood.....it was a monday that i believe was a holiday ,couldnt tell you for sure which.....i start

jogging and i get cramp around my bladder , i have to stop because the pain is too much , at this point i have to weigh out my options

im about a mile away from the convenient store/apartment , and about 3  blocks away from a park ....i tell myself imma gonna rough it out

and start heading towards the park to get to the public bathroom , the pain because to much so i see this house....BEAUTIFUL HOME with

huge trees and no cars i get behind one of the trees and unload about half the clip all over a lawn gnome .....it looked like it had been dipped 

in chocolate fondue bruh......next thing u know a car pulls up but doesnt notice , but i wasnt sure so i just fled the scene knowing i had bought

a few minutes with that little predump .....i cramp up again 20 feet before i get to the restroom and i just drop to my knees in real tears , i  man

up and just run towards the bathroom only to realize that its a holiday and public park bathrooms are closed -____- i see a elementary school

infront of the park and realized theres nobody in school , might aswell  jump the fence and take a doo doo by the portables , i jump the fence

but didnt make it as far as i thought i would , sweat dripping down my body,tears running down my face i cramp up again and squat by a classroom

and just explosive diarrhea EVERYWHERE , it was a bloody mess yall ...i was wearing my favorite shorts so i glance at the door of the classroom

and see classwork taped to the door...papers that read "when i grow up i wanna be" i grabbed one and just started wiping , when i was done i just glanced

and all i saw was "my name is sammy when i grow up i wanna be a basketball player so i can take care of my brothers and my family" with a massacre of

doo doo all over it , smh yall

post #172 of 282
this thread is disgusting b

roll.gif

ill join in, i had my grandma wipe my *** up until i was about 11.

#boss
post #173 of 282
this thread is epic. quality lulz. posting for later at work.


only time i **** myself was in nursery. i remember the teacher/monitor cleaning me off and apparently i had mudbutt and the runs and it was all over my reeboks. didn't know it was me tho. since then as much as i can remember, i've at most crowned or got sweaty butt aka swass.

the dump is sacred to me. def need to be in a isloated environment. i never go in public. ever.
post #174 of 282
did you just say "crowned"

son the visual roll.gifsick.gif
post #175 of 282
Quote:
Originally Posted by ksteezy View Post

this thread is disgusting b

roll.gif

ill join in, i had my grandma wipe my *** up until i was about 11.

#boss


roll.gif


u gotta be kidding right , did u breastfeed till junior high ? laugh.gif
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post #176 of 282
Quote:
Originally Posted by onewearz View Post

roll.gif
u gotta be kidding right , did u breastfeed till junior high ? laugh.gif

bruh....grown men are talking about they crapped themselves 2 years ago and you are blown away by me getting my a** wiped till i was 11 roll.gif

give me a break!
post #177 of 282
Al Roker wins, he pooped on himself in The White House
tumblr_mg9zvcHsrc1rwzsbso1_500.gif
post #178 of 282
everything slides here steez laugh.gif
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post #179 of 282
Quote:
Originally Posted by ksteezy View Post

this thread is disgusting b
roll.gif
ill join in, i had my grandma wipe my *** up until i was about 11.
#boss

You might have to return that favor b.
#WatchTheCrown
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"There isn't much that I feel I need..... a solid soul, and the blood i bleed."
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post #180 of 282
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ksteezy View Post

Quote:
Originally Posted by onewearz View Post

roll.gif
u gotta be kidding right , did u breastfeed till junior high ? laugh.gif

bruh....grown men are talking about they crapped themselves 2 years ago and you are blown away by me getting my a** wiped till i was 11 roll.gif

give me a break!
mean.gif Were you mentally deficient as a child?
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