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Mature Members Only Please, Lowest Point in my life**update pg4

post #1 of 138
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**** update page 4*****

Man my life has been turned upside down... I never really post much about my personal life but i need to vent and i just don't care anymore. My girl has been acting shady, sure go ahead stop reading there, the thing is i overlooked the random days of her acting miserable and just not up for anything. I have been with here for about 8 years and we have a 6 year old son. I guess i looked past all this because i wanted my son to have that family structure i never had...

So last week she was out til 6am no call or text. Supposed out with her friends... Well yesterday i had her drop the baby off at day care adn then she told me work didn't need her and that she was going to the beach with her female friend. Fast forward to 9 pm i get a text from said friend saying that when my girl isn't around to call her. at that point i knew it was going down. I called her friend and she told me she had my son since 10 and that my fiance would be out of work by 7 but its now 9 and she isn't picking up her phone or answering. It hit me, i almost couldn't finish work, i wanted to cry right there. i finished work got my son and texted the *****
"it's over, thanks for cheating on me".
33 mins past and she texts me
"what do you mean"
So i call and she doesnt pick up then i text
me:"Exactly"
me:"Call me without that ***** from work" (of course cheated with a guy from work)
me:"double check you can move in with him first"
Her: "whatever Phillip(my name)"
her:" I'll drop off the car to you"

At this time i got the baby and moved him to my moms, We'll call the ***** J from this point. J doesn't care to have confrontation.
All in text cause J wouldn't speak to me on the phone.
me"can't call me and talk. K get baby first"
her"if u want i'll get my stuff... its up to you"
me"get the baby then your things leave me my ring bracelet bag and keys"

Some conversation like this continues... Its not 10:30 pm and this ***** still thinks my son is at her friends house. 12 hours leaving him there in her mind and not 1 damn given. Finally her friend gets her to come "get my son" by telling her that if she doesn't get him she will drop him off at the police station.

She got there was talking with her two friends which were upset because she has been lying to them too. and then i walked out and said give me my keys. Little Info, i suspicions so i left the cars under my name the house under my name, and i pay all the important bills.

I took the keys and then i said give me my purse that i bought u for christmas back (she was wearing it,", told her "you can have that ***** from your work buy you one, when her is giving you a "better" life." She left some **** in the purse, i said take it she said she didn't want it so i dropped it on the floor and said someone may want it then.

so i'm hurt, and i wanted to let that ***** know... although her friends were there i told her straight up
me"thanks for ruining the family"
me"What are we going to do with our son, visitation"
her" i dont know, i didn't **** him"
all me: "your lying to your friends, your lying to me, your out till 6 am with this guy after you drop your friend off at 3 am, you've left your son here all day while your out ******g this other guy"
"Call that guy and see if you can stay with him because your not staying with me"
"You can get your **** later, don't bring that ***** from work near my house or he can get it. And your brother come at me he can get it too idgaf.
(both her parents been dead her grandma is about 80ish and starting to decline)U know you if you would have told me earlier maybe a couple years ago you would possibly be able to marry the next person, and maybe your grandma would be alive to watch you walk down the alter, hopefully the next guy doesn't cheat and you may get that chance"
and by the way i know about you mom (she had issues either schizophrenia or bipolar, i know it skips a generation and i've been keeping an eye on my son) i won't say it here but i know **** you never told me.
So **** you and **** that ***** chris too,
this is the side you never saw of me *****,

and drove off.

Her friend called and asked if she can take some clothes, and that she was staying there... i guess she blocked me and my friends on facebook or she deleted it. I called her brothers wife and told her word for word what i said and if he has issues he knows where im at.

So why am i at a low point. We live in south florida but her fam is in tampa. She may move back and i don't want to lose my son. My mom said she will step up to help out but i may just rent this house out live with my mom and get a 9-5 job so i can be with my son. He's my life, and i don't mind her seeing him but she isn't a good parent and he needs me more than ever... school starts monday for me and my head is just not in it...

Beasts please google and post your own pics, i really don't feel like looking at woman or dealing with trifling females. yea i'm jaded

-Out
Edited by desent - 1/4/13 at 3:00pm
post #2 of 138
Sorry to hear that fam sounds like you didn't deserve any of this. At the end of the day all you have is your son and its great that you are more worried about him then his mother cheating.

Everything gets better with time, but if it was me she is gone. I have no problem with any parent spending time with their child but she clearly doesn't put her child first as she should. I would get full custody and take her for child support, show that her actions have caused great damage and she is going to pay for it literally and figuratively.

Focus on you and raising the great son you have, she isn't even worth it. Hopefully everything works out for you fam.
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post #3 of 138
damn son that's terrible, **** like that makes me worried about the future
post #4 of 138

Damn that is rough to deal with I am not going to lie. I am the same way, like if you feel like the time with me has passed and you done fell for another person let me know. Cause I have no problem with moving on, and when not even her friends know and she is involving the child. Not only does she have no self-respect, she does not respect you or the family for that matter of fact. 

 

At this point it is all about the child, and you seem like a great father, and really care for your son. Terrible that the "Justice System" does not favour men. I do hope the best for you, and terrible that this will alter your education/life. But if you can get even a 24-30 hr a week job, rent out your place and go to school. Try and do it, because you will def need that degree.

 

Best of luck, and I know its not hard to leave your child's mother after that time, maybe it is for the best.

post #5 of 138
Quote:
Originally Posted by kermitthefloer View Post

Damn that is rough to deal with I am not going to lie. I am the same way, like if you feel like the time with me has passed and you done fell for another person let me know. Cause I have no problem with moving on, and when not even her friends know and she is involving the child. Not only does she have no self-respect, she does not respect you or the family for that matter of fact. 

At this point it is all about the child, and you seem like a great father, and really care for your son. Terrible that the "Justice System" does not favour men. I do hope the best for you, and terrible that this will alter your education/life. But if you can get even a 24-30 hr a week job, rent out your place and go to school. Try and do it, because you will def need that degree.

Best of luck, and I know its not hard to leave your child's mother after that time, maybe it is for the best.

This.

Ya girls gonna realize later on how she goofd and you can laugh at her. Do whats best for your son smokin.gif
post #6 of 138

Sorry to hear that man. As a unfaithful guy, you never know how bad it feels until it happens to you... 8 years is alot to throw away. You'll find better. Just remember its not your fault, its that B's loss.

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post #7 of 138
Damn bro. Sorry you have to go through all this. Keep on being strong. IMO you handled it the right way, no need to stoop down to her level.
post #8 of 138
Hold ya head op. The worse part is that she put the **** before her son, that **** is disgusting. On a positive note school starts soon, u need to use this as motivation, finish school n give your son a better life than she could. My old dude always told me, never let a ***** break u

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post #9 of 138
Well that sucks. It totally diff when kids are involved.
post #10 of 138
8 years is a long time.

I am sure you guys will talk it out and be able to have a rational conversation at some point at what exactly transpired. But judging by her not crying to get back with your or even apologizing for anything she may already be emotionally detached. Things are way more complicated with a kid involved too. Good luck op, wish you all the best keep us updated on what is going on
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post #11 of 138
Sorry about this my dude frown.gif I dont know how breakups and custody work, especially when theres no marriage, but I'd imagine your first priority would be your son. Gather evidence, text messages, any proof that she wasnt a good mother. Leaving her son at a friends house for hours for example. Get custody of your son. Make sure you dont end up having to pay the ***. Everything else will fall in place. You didnt have her name on any of the important things so youre already ahead of the curb. Good luck to you and your son homie
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post #12 of 138

Foul mean.gif

 

Hope the best works out for you and your son moving forward

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post #13 of 138
This is why I'm shook to commit to a chick these days. Smh
post #14 of 138
First of all, I'm sorry to hear about this OP. That sucks. I have to run out, and I only read the top half of your post (it's kind of confusing but I'm making it out), but I'll come back and finish it and post.

Edit: Ok, I'm back and read the post. Damn man, I'm sorry that after 8 years that stuff went down. That's most definitely foul. I know it sucks, but all you can do now is focus on being the best father you can be. Don't even worry about having that "perfect" family. Being there for your son consistently will be the only thing to matter. As far as she is concerned, looks like you have to just take her to court for visitation rights. You may have an argument saying how she carelessly left your son to go out and do her thing. I don't want to say too much because we still don't know the entire story from beginning to end. We are just looking through your eyes as you posted this. I'm sure there was a point in your relationship where you had some doubt and either ignored it or thought it would work itself out without expressing how you felt. Things like this don't just up and poof man. With all that being said, don't be jaded. Keep an open heart and don't block future blessings in that area.
Edited by beh235 - 1/3/13 at 11:41am
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post #15 of 138
Its always some dude from work mean.gif

Stay up my dude. Ish is rough and hurts like hell, but eventually it will pass. Just look out for your son's best interest and continue to be the stand up father that you seem to be.
post #16 of 138
Quote:
Originally Posted by beh235 View Post

First of all, I'm sorry to hear about this OP. That sucks. I have to run out, and I only read the top half of your post (it's kind of confusing but I'm making it out), but I'll come back and finish it and post.

I thought the same. But I understand what's going on.

She doesn't seem remorseful at all either. mean.gif Stay up bro
post #17 of 138
It's not your fault. 8 years is a long time. Some people just get tired and want something new, some of them they don't have the decency to communicate this to their significant others. I'm sorry this had to happen to you.

Don't let this beat you up. Whether females or male, there are just some selfish people out there who would put an affair before their own child. It's sickening. And maybe she does have some mental issues. Whatever it is, she's made it clear, at least for the time being, that your son isn't her number one priority. But she is still his mother. The next few months is going to be a fight but you must find some amicable way to put this behind you and put your son first. That isn't to say you shouldn't go to court and get full custody. You absolutely have to try. It just means that you have to rein your emotions in and not put yourself in a predicament where you lose your son as well. This includes, but certainly isn't limited to physical altercations.

It will be tough to move on. You just lost someone who has been with you for 8 years, presumably a third of your life. That bond is hard to break. But you must. It will take time. You will want to call her and see how she's doing; stop by her work; her place - you mustn't. Stay focused on getting that degree and working to make your son's life the best it can be. That foundation will make a family structure that won't topple or crumble.

You got this, bro. You got this.
post #18 of 138
that's horrible mean.gif damn son.

keep lil man taken care of and all will be well. people piss me off mean.gifmean.gif

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post #19 of 138
I'm sorry to hear it man. That is crazy that she'd step out on you when you all have a kid together. It's one thing for someone to cheat, but you two have an obligation to your son that she practically said to hell with.

There are no words to make what she did go away. All you can do at this point is take it in stride. Don't beat yourself up because she chose to mess around. That was her decision. She could have spoken up if she wasn't happy. But karma is real, believe that. She will get hers eventually.

Keep your wits about you. Don't go back to her if she tries to come crawling back. Focus on your education and your son. Be the best parent you can since you're already having to make up for a crappy one.
post #20 of 138
Be proud of yourself OP

You handled the situation very well, because it could've easily gotten ugly. She basically played you for a fool. I knw your hurt/angry, but keep on for your son. Its gonna be tough, but in time, maybe sooner then later your gonna have to learn to not necessarily forgive, but live with the fact she did what she did. Because she is the mother of your child, For the time being, just keep distance. Try your best not get confrontational, and best wishes to you nd your son.
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post #21 of 138
Sorry to hear that, OP.
post #22 of 138
My jimmies were pretty rustled reading this. mean.gif

I'm really sorry to hear about this. Just keep your friends and family close to you in this time of need. They are there to support you and you will pull through.
Just stay positive and be a good influence on your son.
post #23 of 138

Sorry to hear about that bro. Keep your head up. This too shall pass. Adversity is the true test of character and your sir have it TEN-FOLD. Everything happens for a reason, you will rebound from this and a blessing is coming your way. I'm quite sure of it.

post #24 of 138

mean.gif Foul

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post #25 of 138
I got full custody of my son, only way to find out is to go to court. Be prepared, you don't gotta drag her thru the mud but just give true and actual examples, remember this is your son you're fighting for especially if you know that she's unfit to care for him daily. Of course, everyone told me oh you're gonna lose, you'll end up paying $1k a month in CS. I just had to say enough is enough.

Hope everything works out though man, I got a great girl who was able to come in and fill the void. Of course, it's not his mother but she helps me out along with my family.
post #26 of 138

Sorry bro, at this point you have to keep your head up and just focus on school man. You will find much better, trust me. I've been cheated on and I was hurt, I thought I will feel like that forever, but it goes away. Let time run its course and trust me you will be fine.

post #27 of 138
Don't let your emotions jam you up or allow your feelings to influence your actions. Sometimes the best response or reaction is.......nothing at all. Focus on you and your son and that is all that really matters.


As much as you want to provice him a solid family structure with a two parent household......it might not be healthy to do so with the biological mother, but that doesn't mean you won't have that opportunity with a woman who is deserving of your greatness. Don't block your blessings/opportunities with an old toxic situation, focus on yourself and your son and putting the two of you in the best possible positive environment for success.

Best wishes.
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post #28 of 138
damn man I'm sorry to hear you are going through it right now. The toughest thing to understand is its life and any human being is capable of screwing up. Lawyer up so that you will have a fighting chance to get full custody of your son. Not all women are like this, but they all, us too, are capable of anything.

You will make it through this.
post #29 of 138
Stay strong my friend.

Really commend you for stepping up, brushing off that scumbag trick that was once your girl, and taking a proactive role for your son.

Never ever ever ever take her back. SRS.
post #30 of 138
Sorry to hear OP! This is my worst fears! I was afraid to committ because of this right here! Stay strong OP
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