Mature Members Only Please, Lowest Point in my life**update pg4

powerballin · Jan 3, 2013

When did you notice the relationship going bad? You said you ignored the times she didn't want to be bothered or do anything. I know work, school, and the child take up the majority of your time but did you 2 make time for each other? For a woman to walk out on a 8 year relationship and child she has to be mentally somewhere else.

dnycemodel · Jan 3, 2013

Been there before bro. You have one choice here. Take care of your business and provide a wonderful life for your son. Get yourself a great woman and leave the past in the past. Your ex will feel that sting for a lifetime

balloonoboy · Jan 3, 2013

lobotomybeats said:
You may not want to hear this OP, but tread lightly, my friend. Don't air everything to everyone. Don't vilify her to the extent that she deserves to be. The harsh reality is that you guys will probably be back together at some point. You have a child together, they tend to heal wounds, man. So don't trash her to everyone because eventually those same people you slagged her off to are the same ones that are going to have to try to be friendly with her. I know that sounds silly, but so often it's true.

Slinging the mud won't help your situation one bit. You guys are parents and will be for the rest of your lives. The more adult-like you can get through this the better it is for your child. I know you are mad now and rightfully so. But you don't want your support system to hate someone that you have to have a working relationship with for the rest of your life.

Good luck man. My advice is probably all sorts of ******, but I've seen people go through similar things.

This is great advice.

thecoldest343 · Jan 3, 2013

First off you shouldn't call this your lowest point in life because I know I've heard of worst thing's happening in people's lives.In my opinion you need to stop with the petty behavior of wanting everything you've purchased her back,let it all go if you have to because it will just be less of a burden on you and the son you two share.Don't let anger get the best of you,espacially when it comes to making claim's against her,her family and how good or bad of a parent she really is because all of that can turn around to bite you later on,personally and in the court of law when it comes to a custody case.
Realize this,you've been with her for 8yr's and I'm sure you both know each other's flaws,like the back of your hand,some where within those 8yr's you knew how she was but you stayed for the sake of having a family,which is the rightiest wrong you could have done because you'er trying to make something work that you and her both knew wouldn't.The tell-tell sign that it wouldn't last is when you had all the important thing's placed in your name,for what?is what you need to ask yourself because there's a reason for just about everything you did.

Sit down and have a real conversation with yourself,don't lie,don't ask why and don't make anymore excuse's.After that,plan on the future,do what's best for you,let her do what's best for her and try to be civil for the child's sake and everything else should work itself out.

:smokin

Life does go on,you just have to make sure so is your's......

va757va · Jan 3, 2013

hold your head op...dont let people bring you down to their level....take the high road EVERY opportunity you can...

cheating means more to some than others...so ill treat you like i treat my boys in this situation...if you take her back, ill be there to support you...but in my opinion, you shouldnt take her back man...

dont let this ish keep you down OP...dont let this affect the way you interact with her around your son...your his example...show him how to act with class and tact in the face of triflin, lies, etc....

time heals all wounds but keep in mind if she did it once, she will again man...so when things are all good, and you can kick it with her without thinking of this (that day will come) think back to how low she made you feel being sneaky and conniving...

hold your head op...you deserve better b...and trust me when i tell you that better is going to come.....maybe nt now, maybe not even this year...your gonna hit your lick bruh!!

in the meantime, burn some good, and resist EVERY vengeful urge you get....revenge will only bring you to her level...remember that

beh235 · Jan 3, 2013

balloonoboy said:
lobotomybeats said:

You may not want to hear this OP, but tread lightly, my friend. Don't air everything to everyone. Don't vilify her to the extent that she deserves to be. The harsh reality is that you guys will probably be back together at some point. You have a child together, they tend to heal wounds, man. So don't trash her to everyone because eventually those same people you slagged her off to are the same ones that are going to have to try to be friendly with her. I know that sounds silly, but so often it's true.

Slinging the mud won't help your situation one bit. You guys are parents and will be for the rest of your lives. The more adult-like you can get through this the better it is for your child. I know you are mad now and rightfully so. But you don't want your support system to hate someone that you have to have a working relationship with for the rest of your life.

Good luck man. My advice is probably all sorts of ******, but I've seen people go through similar things.

Click to expand...

This is great advice.

I disagree with children healing wounds. It's unfair to the child looking at it from that pov and is not a good enough reason to get back with someone. Each parent loving their child can be mutually exclusive. That doesn't mean they are obligated to love each other.

lobotomybeats · Jan 3, 2013

beh235 said:
I disagree with children healing wounds. It's unfair to the child looking at it from that pov and is not a good enough reason to get back with someone. Each parent loving their child can be mutually exclusive. That doesn't mean they are obligated to love each other.

I didn't mean that children can be the cure-all. I wasn't being clear. I just meant that often values get compromised because you feel that you owe it to your children, right or wrong, to try to work things out. Children make it harder to just totally extricate yourself from a sad situation. A child isn't a good reason to stick around in a bad situation, they just make it harder to totally sever ties.

ryda421 · Jan 3, 2013

damn man, what a ratchet broad. honestly, IMO, you did the best thing. you were giving her a good life and she threw it away, that type of person doesn't deserve a second chance. the only thing to do is learn from this and level up. i know it might sound hard but look at it as a positive. keep your head up it can always be worse.

younglorious973 · Jan 3, 2013

you handled this like a champ..
i would've given her the KIM treatment (from Marshall Mathers LP, not present day).
keep your head up homie.

KMante · Jan 3, 2013

I'm sorry.

Always turn a negative situation into a positive situation.

- Michael Jordan

Please keep this in mind when you proceed from this situation and in life!

beh235 · Jan 3, 2013

lobotomybeats said:
beh235 said:

I disagree with children healing wounds. It's unfair to the child looking at it from that pov and is not a good enough reason to get back with someone. Each parent loving their child can be mutually exclusive. That doesn't mean they are obligated to love each other.

Click to expand...

I didn't mean that children can be the cure-all. I wasn't being clear. I just meant that often values get compromised because you feel that you owe it to your children, right or wrong, to try to work things out. Children make it harder to just totally extricate yourself from a sad situation. A child isn't a good reason to stick around in a bad situation, they just make it harder to totally sever ties.

Gotcha.

SHERLOCK87 · Jan 3, 2013

No more hood rats, OP.

desent · Jan 3, 2013

I appreciate all the good things said. I really just don't want to lose my child to her. She trying to play the victim telling me she doesn't have a place to stay. Yet the ***** talking like she is on the come up like I care. I am going to see a lawyer and double down I don't wish this on anyone. I will survive and I will try to keep it civil but ill be damned if I don't get my son whether it be now a year from now or whenever.

She has yet to speak with her son and tell him why she isn't around. Damne near 24 hours since she spoke with him

nationaltruckerdave · Jan 3, 2013

Tyrone won

made in korea23 · Jan 3, 2013

Stay up bro. Hope things work out better for you. One thing I really can't stand is people who cheat. I don't care if its my closest friend or what not but someone who cheats in my book is someone I will never be able to fully trust again.

resgear · Jan 3, 2013

Sorry to hear about that man, I hope you manage to pull through. I just got home too feeling real down and realizing how bad things are going. Its gotten to a point where I either somehow manage to pay my college tuition or use that money for a medical expense that is required. It is as if I choose to pay for my health or my education and can't do both. Not even considering how rent and a slew of other financial burdens are on top of all that. Feeling pretty bad how all this is right in face 3 days into a new year.

triplexl vol 2 · Jan 3, 2013

Keep your head up homie

But if you are serious about winning custody of your child, DELETE this post. There have been cases of wife's/baby-moms lawyers winning cases due to men venting on FB, online forums. text ect...But don't stop fighting for your child.

guzzy · Jan 3, 2013

Man I'm heated

Don't let that bissh take your son.

Take that bisshh to court.

This also my ultimate fear in life,I'm sorry OP

got2havemykicks · Jan 3, 2013

sorry bro. this what happens when youre too nice.And give a women tooo much freedom. I read somewhere you wrote 6am..... you did the write thing. dont take her back move foward. if you got a good job look for a better job. look out for youre little man. she might try to gain ownership of the child just to get you for getting the house,car and her bag. so brace yourself for uphill battle. honestly i also feel that there may have been signs that she didnt love you as much as she formely did because of something you did in the past. she was too scared to tell you because..... she wouldnt have a safety net. my guess is she made a friend and that firend turned into a best friend and then a lover. i can gurantee you she was cheating on you in your face but you had that traditional women concept. one man one women. nope not intodays society. she was looking for a replacement. i hope it was worth it in her case. but if youre forgiving tell her not to bring back an std

mugen81 · Jan 3, 2013

got2havemykicks said:
sorry bro. this what happens when youre too nice.And give a women tooo much freedom. I read somewhere you wrote 6am..... you did the write thing. dont take her back move foward. if you got a good job look for a better job. look out for youre little man. she might try to gain ownership of the child just to get you for getting the house,car and her bag. so brace yourself for uphill battle. honestly i also feel that there may have been signs that she didnt love you as much as she formely did because of something you did in the past. she was too scared to tell you because..... she wouldnt have a safety net. my guess is she made a friend and that firend turned into a best friend and then a lover. i can gurantee you she was cheating on you in your face but you had that traditional women concept. one man one women. nope not intodays society. she was looking for a replacement. i hope it was worth it in her case. but if youre forgiving tell her not to bring back an std

It's not that he is too nice(that sh*t is for lames) she is a grown woman who knows from right and wrong if I got to be a hard *** for a bish to love me and treat me like human being then that effort is not worth it. A lot of people don't have morals these days and putting some lame *** ninja ahead of your son shows no maturity what so ever or she doesn't know the game. That's why I rarely mess with girls with guy "best friends" because every negative thing she tells him, that ninja flips it for his gain... Guaranteed ol boy don't even want her like that, he just wanted( nt favorite word) yambs. I sorry this happened my du but just keep it pushing... She will return and I put that on errrythang but just get ur son and keep pursuing happiness... Don't try to smash chicks to deal with pain because they will make u more empty just focus on u cuz....

got2havemykicks · Jan 3, 2013

mugen81 said:
It's not that he is too nice(that sh*t is for lames) she is a grown woman who knows from right and wrong if I got to be a hard *** for a bish to love me and treat me like human being then that effort is not worth it. A lot of people don't have morals these days and putting some lame *** ninja ahead of your son shows no maturity what so ever or she doesn't know the game. That's why I rarely mess with girls with guy "best friends" because every negative thing she tells him, that ninja flips it for his gain... Guaranteed ol boy don't even want her like that, he just wanted( nt favorite word) yambs. I sorry this happened my du but just keep it pushing... She will return and I put that on errrythang but just get ur son and keep pursuing happiness... Don't try to smash chicks to deal with pain because they will make u more empty just focus on u cuz....

it all depends on the female

mugen81 · Jan 3, 2013

got2havemykicks said:
it all depends on the female

Touché but at the same time if you are grown and there is no excuse to not know right from wrong at least be honest, finding out you have been cheated on/moved on two weeks after I move out(has happened to me) sucks, I am a nice guy but have a low tolerance for bs... Maybe these experiences teach you when to cut your loses before those signs come up but I haven't really met a girl Yet that has proved me wrong... All in all you would expect grown people to be able to communicate their problems/stop with the bs. In the end game recognize game and that will never change just sucks op doing the right thing and this happens but it's happened to all of us... Even the biggest playa plays the fool

got2havemykicks · Jan 3, 2013

desent said:
I appreciate all the good things said. I really just don't want to lose my child to her. She trying to play the victim telling me she doesn't have a place to stay. Yet the ***** talking like she is on the come up like I care. I am going to see a lawyer and double down I don't wish this on anyone. I will survive and I will try to keep it civil but ill be damned if I don't get my son whether it be now a year from now or whenever.
She has yet to speak with her son and tell him why she isn't around. Damne near 24 hours since she spoke with him

she could live with that dude she was screwing. funny all she cares about is a place to stay what about youre feelings.

tlrdx91 · Jan 3, 2013

Keep your head up OP. Things get hard and then even harder for most of us but there is always some happiness to be found. This situation is completely on her part and you should move on from it. It's really parasitic people who decide to lie and cheat like that. I hope you find a good resolution to this situation. Know that time heals emotional wounds.

nycposite · Jan 3, 2013

kermitthefloer said:
Damn that is rough to deal with I am not going to lie. I am the same way, like if you feel like the time with me has passed and you done fell for another person let me know. Cause I have no problem with moving on, and when not even her friends know and she is involving the child. Not only does she have no self-respect, she does not respect you or the family for that matter of fact.

At this point it is all about the child, and you seem like a great father, and really care for your son. Terrible that the "Justice System" does not favour men. I do hope the best for you, and terrible that this will alter your education/life. But if you can get even a 24-30 hr a week job, rent out your place and go to school. Try and do it, because you will def need that degree.

Best of luck, and I know its not hard to leave your child's mother after that time, maybe it is for the best.

As long as your on your grind you can have your son. Just make sure when you go to court go correct. Take a parenting class, make sure you have a job and a place to stay with space for your son.

I've been through it so ill let you know first hand it's going to get crazy. You need to worry about you and your son. Get your bm out of your mind (easier said then done).

Good luck OP and if you need any info on how to go about getting your son through court pm me

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Mature Members Only Please, Lowest Point in my life**update pg4

powerballin

dnycemodel

balloonoboy

thecoldest343

va757va

beh235

lobotomybeats

ryda421

younglorious973

KMante

beh235

SHERLOCK87

desent

nationaltruckerdave

made in korea23

resgear

triplexl vol 2

guzzy

got2havemykicks

mugen81

got2havemykicks

mugen81

got2havemykicks

tlrdx91

nycposite

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