Embarassing Confessions Thread. Vol. I Hope Nobody Was Looking

Aaaw man I remember when I was in the second grade my stepdad at the time used to give me a "haircut" (bald to the point I couldn't make out the hairline)
So monday morning came I was going to the bus stop when I stepped out side I felt that new haircut breeze wrap around my head
Went back in the house to get a benie to cover the shame
Anywho I went to the bustop and my brother being a dikk snatched it off my head to reveal my shame and everybody got to slappin my head up sumthn turrble my till I made it into class I made it half way through the day with the hat on till lunch when the teacher told me to take my hat off. Soon as I take it off my pants fall down exposin my power ranger undies but I pulled them up with the quickness

Straight tragic yo.
 
Aaaw man I remember when I was in the second grade my stepdad at the time used to give me a "haircut" (bald to the point I couldn't make out the hairline)
So monday morning came I was going to the bus stop when I stepped out side I felt that new haircut breeze wrap around my head
Went back in the house to get a benie to cover the shame
Anywho I went to the bustop and my brother being a dikk snatched it off my head to reveal my shame and everybody got to slappin my head up sumthn turrble my till I made it into class I made it half way through the day with the hat on till lunch when the teacher told me to take my hat off. Soon as I take it off my pants fall down exposin my power ranger undies but I pulled them up with the quickness

Straight tragic yo.

Damn that's a bad day :lol:.

I also bust my *** in the middle of an icy parking lot in the winter while walking to school. Couldn't even play it off. Had to take the L. Middle school mornings in the winter were bad lol
 
One summer I used to sneak my chick in the basement, smash and sneak her back out and drive her home. After one excellent session I hear the basement door open and my mom comes downstairs asking what's going on. It's like 3 am and shorty jumped in the closet. She goes back up and I take shorty home. I get back and the basement door was locked. When I get back I see the yellow pages opened up to hotel section. Moms never said a word but I was mad uncomfortable the next day when she made me drive her round

Yesterday I'm in the bank feeling myself. I reach for the jar with suckers only to be reminded of the thick *** glass. I couldn't help but to laugh at myself.

Then this one time I was nailing a new girl. Was in a mini slump before her. Shorty was so tight and juicy. I bussed too early. I told her, with a sheepish smile, you got that touch n buss shawty (stole it from TI). It worked cause she gave me second chance
 
During one of my HS bball games one of my teammates pops the strings to his shorts right before the game starts so since I was bout dat bench warming life I switch with him

By the end of the game we spanking these dudes to the point that I come into the game for dat garbage time so I try switching shorts with the dude I was subbing in for during a timeout but this ***** had a 2x and he was like 5'9" and I couldnt get to tie the string to good so during the game I'm playing with the shorts sagging crazy but I played it off ok not looking all frantic and stuff (I think I even got a steal while holding my shorts with one hand)

During a fast brake I'm running the lane and my dude passed me the rock for a slightly contested layup I could have made but that wasnt happening that night so I miss bad and my shorts drop since I used both hands to catch the ball :smh:

I picked it up with the swiftness but damb it was still pretty embarrassing in front of all the cheerleaders and crowd

At least we got the W :pimp:
 
During one of my HS bball games one of my teammates pops the strings to his shorts right before the game starts so since I was bout dat bench warming life I switch with him

By the end of the game we spanking these dudes to the point that I come into the game for dat garbage time so I try switching shorts with the dude I was subbing in for during a timeout but this ***** had a 2x and he was like 5'9" and I couldnt get to tie the string to good so during the game I'm playing with the shorts sagging crazy but I played it off ok not looking all frantic and stuff (I think I even got a steal while holding my shorts with one hand)

During a fast brake I'm running the lane and my dude passed me the rock for a slightly contested layup I could have made but that wasnt happening that night so I miss bad and my shorts drop since I used both hands to catch the ball
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I picked it up with the swiftness but damb it was still pretty embarrassing in front of all the cheerleaders and crowd

At least we got the W
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 Real life, HS bball shorts would always fit horribly unless you were fat.  I learned to wear my own shorts under my shorts to avoid situations like that.
 
One night im at my crib chilling with two friends, so a girl I messed with hit me up to come over. She brings her gorgeous cousin along, whatever. So its us five upstairs. . My stomach starts bubbling fiercely. So I try to duck out and let one loose, but everyone follows me.. so im pacing back and forth holding it in. Finally I let loose the the loudest stankiest fart ever in front of everyone. So my friends being the jerks they are roast me to oblivion. . Girls are laughing at me and all.. yambs were still had but man was that embarrassing.
 
Man one time we were jumping off this lil bridge into a swimming hole and there were like 5 girls there as well..3 of them were pretty bad and I was peacocking the whole time, talking cool and walking around with my chest stuck out..planning to hit one up later on. So i take my turn to jump and as I'm running up I fully slip and land on my back, sliding for like 5 feet untill I ended up at the feet of said girls 
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 I was in so much pain I couldn't stand for like 5 mins. I still hear their cackling laughter to this day every time I pass that bridge... 
 
i was wearing sweats on a 5:30 AM flight to Philly that i think had 20 people max. sweet. i'm 6'5" and i get a whole row to myself. i lay out and go to sleep.

i have a dream that someone's watching me. i wake up and notice the male flight attendant with the hungriest look on his face staring at my morning wood.

exiting the plane, he asks if i need help with my carryon. i tell him i'm good.
 
i was wearing sweats on a 5:30 AM flight to Philly that i think had 20 people max. sweet. i'm 6'5" and i get a whole row to myself. i lay out and go to sleep.

i have a dream that someone's watching me. i wake up and notice the male flight attendant with the hungriest look on his face staring at my morning wood.

exiting the plane, he asks if i need help with my carryon. i tell him i'm good.

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I was having sex. My mom walked in. I pretended we were asleep. (I was on top thank god I'm not a lazy person).

I have one of those doors that you can lock but can be easily opened.
 
There are so many and I cringe whenever it reappears randomly in my thoughts. Lets just say I'm not the smoothest talker in the world and I'm far from it.
 
There are so many and I cringe whenever it reappears randomly in my thoughts. Lets just say I'm not the smoothest talker in the world and I'm far from it.
this statement is too cute lol.....tell the story...tell it.....go on.....tell it....
 
I half **** my pants last weekend.
Same except it was Monday. Almost fainted.
Me and my boys were taking the bus to the Getty.

Had to sprint to make the bus.... took 4 steps and seepage squeezed out. 

Felt like a wet fart, but without the fart 
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got to the Getty and went straight to the bathroom, wiped, took of my chonies and tossed em in the corner. Freeballed it the rest of the day.
 
Might as well tell the story :smh:

So Sunday I went out to eat with my family, I got some fish at Red Lobster. I wasn't feeling good at dinner, so I boxed most of it up and went home. The next morning, I was really hungry and i couldn't even explain it. So I go into the fridge and I eat all my boxed up food which includes flounder, shrimp, and clam. Not gonna sit well. But I was hungry and I have zero damns. I have to get to school so I hop in my car and go pick up my girl. It's a 15-30 minute drive depending on traffic but a few minutes in my stomach tenses up bad. I stop on the side of the road and tell her to drive. I'm sitting there in the passenger seat knowing what's happening like :x it was so random. School is like 15 more minutes to go and we are stuck in traffic. I start sweating and my stomach is hurting and she is like the f*** is wrong with you? And she pushes my stomach.

GOTDAMN that was bad. I smack her hand and it gets worse and worse. I thought of the guys I made fun of in the mudbutt thread and instantly knew the feels. I got inside the building and I have no balance, my vision is foggy, and I'm bumping into people. My face was really pale too. I wasn't about to pass out and deficate myself though so I found the closest bathroom and let it out. So much shame that day :smh:
 
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Last night while I'm about to get on top and handle business outta nowhere a loud *** fart comes out. Kinda killed the mood :smh:
While spending the night at this females house around 04 I'm sleeping in the guest room at her parents house. The night before we was feeling all over each other and kissing and all that but she wouldn't let me stick it in. Well that night idk I had a dream like it really felt real I really thought we were having sex like I had wet dreams when I was little but this felt real omg I swear it did. When I busted in my dream it was actually me peeing in my girls family bed. I was hella embarrassed
 
My cousin (female) found this naked girl's photos on my phones. 
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I definitely learned my lesson and created a passcode for my phone. 
 
Last night while I'm about to get on top and handle business outta nowhere a loud *** fart comes out. Kinda killed the mood :smh:
While spending the night at this females house around 04 I'm sleeping in the guest room at her parents house. The night before we was feeling all over each other and kissing and all that but she wouldn't let me stick it in. Well that night idk I had a dream like it really felt real I really thought we were having sex like I had wet dreams when I was little but this felt real omg I swear it did. When I busted in my dream it was actually me peeing in my girls family bed. I was hella embarrassed
bruh I'm weak!!! Repped.
 
Might as well tell the story :smh:

So Sunday I went out to eat with my family, I got some fish at Red Lobster. I wasn't feeling good at dinner, so I boxed most of it up and went home. The next morning, I was really hungry and i couldn't even explain it. So I go into the fridge and I eat all my boxed up food which includes flounder, shrimp, and clam. Not gonna sit well. But I was hungry and I have zero damns. I have to get to school so I hop in my car and go pick up my girl. It's a 15-30 minute drive depending on traffic but a few minutes in my stomach tenses up bad. I stop on the side of the road and tell her to drive. I'm sitting there in the passenger seat knowing what's happening like :x it was so random. School is like 15 more minutes to go and we are stuck in traffic. I start sweating and my stomach is hurting and she is like the f*** is wrong with you? And she pushes my stomach.

GOTDAMN that was bad. I smack her hand and it gets worse and worse. I thought of the guys I made fun of in the mudbutt thread and instantly knew the feels. I got inside the building and I have no balance, my vision is foggy, and I'm bumping into people. My face was really pale too. I wasn't about to pass out and dedicate myself though so I found the closest bathroom and let it out. So much shame that day :smh:

yo that stuck in traffic and having to use the bathroom?? terrrrrrible feeling :smh:
 
Always enjoy these threads on NT

One of my first jobs was before I had a car so i'd get picked up after work by one of my parents. One day i'm waiting on the sidewalk for my ride to come and see a car that looks like my mom's car. They start pulling up and I step off the sidewalk into the street about to hop in the car, but the car keeps moving forward. I'm thinking to myself, "Why isn't my mom stopping so I can get in the car?" I chase after the car down the street and then I realize this car doesn't have the bumper sticker that my mom's car had. Guy in the car stomped on it and sped off as I was coming up to the car. Poor guy probably thought I was trying to pull a Grand Theft Auto car jacking. :lol: Probably the dumbest thing i've ever done. At least it didn't involve anyone I know, so no one gets to make fun of me except myself.
 
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Always enjoy these threads on NT

One of my first jobs was before I had a car so i'd get picked up after work by one of my parents. One day i'm waiting on the sidewalk for my ride to come and see a car that looks like my mom's car. They start pulling up and I step off the sidewalk into the street about to hop in the car, but the car keeps moving forward. I'm thinking to myself, "Why isn't my mom stopping so I can get in the car?" I chase after the car down the street and then I realize this car doesn't have the bumper sticker that my mom's car had. Guy in the car stomped on it and sped off as I was coming up to the car. Poor guy probably thought I was trying to pull a Grand Theft Auto car jacking. :lol: Probably the dumbest thing i've ever done. At least it didn't involve anyone I know, so no one gets to make fun of me except myself.
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