Embarassing Confessions Thread. Vol. I Hope Nobody Was Looking - Page 3

Man I dont know that feel. 

 

everytime I think about sex my johnson gets hard. and Im 23.

 

Try Viagra.

man i dont wish this **** on anybody , i dont know what happened in my life that decreased my libido to its current level

ive actually been thinking of going to get some but you need a prescription from a doctor and I would feel hella embarrassed going to the doctor for ED at 22

It could be the female or something it's happened to me before with this baaaad *** female couldn't get it up and when I did it was hard to maintain. It's gotta be some mental or psychological thing. Don't worry about it

My homegirl came over during a huge storm one night since she lived down the street. This girl is pretty much my "white whale" for the last 5+ years but it just never happened. This night did not help my case... Anyway, I had already had a few drinks before she came through and she had some bud. I had not smoked in a good minute... So we're drinking, smoking and I'm just beyond **** faced. Next thing I know, I'm throwing up all over myself on some college freshman type stuff. She even came through the very next day and we watched Game of Thrones... Like I had everything needed that night to finally close and got too excited. But its best nothing happened as I was getting serious with someone...

My childhood friends and I used to "try" to tricks on bikes...anyways it was. a Saturday during the summer I had to be about 13/14..we were at the rec and way its set my up the parking lot leading out and coming in is on a slope..my friend rides down the hill with both arms in the air he's like try it I was skeptical at first but me being the "daredevil" I am..I went for it...so I do it once im like this is easy..so I try it again as I'm going down theres a semi coming so I made a sharp turn..I hit this cement trash can and fold like a book lol..my boy said my whole upper body was on top of the can while my legs were on the side still...I fall off and land next to the can...my boy was on the ground crying laughing..this car stopped and people were laughing this kid across the street started laughing lol..till this day I get clowned for this story

Another bike story...we had an swimming pool rec and it was like a mile n half walk for us...there was this dirt path we used as an shortcut..we set up this mini ramp there and would ride on it...so were riding on it they were takin videos of us to see who falls..my boys go then its my turn..so I go back atleast 30 feet for my start..I pedal as fast as I can..but about 6 feet away from the ramp i started loosing control..I didnt think of hitting the brakes till I'm up the ramp lol..so i hit the brakes in the air and I'm jerked off the bike I slide a good 3 feet on my palms...I get up I couldn't feel my wrist or hands...I get my feeling back both of my palms are gone..I had holes in them like i was crucified..I go to the hospital and they put cast on both wrist and hands lol...since it was friday there like let's hit the club ( we were 16/17)...me.being the twerk fanatic i was..I went with both casts n all lol..couldn't feel ish in my hands but I got a few dances n of course some ppl thought I was crazy for showing up like that

Damn you got those shoulders clapped by a trashcan

this reminds me :

first week of december 2009... i'm hanging out with this bangin' thick mixed chick. we go out to eat, and i have grilled chicken. we go back to my house, we're on the couch smooching, petting, whole nine. we move it to the bedroom, where she proceeds to tell me she's a virgin. i don't believe her, but anyway mouthskies are had by all, and when i rise up from enjoying the queen's feast my stomach cramps a little bit. i think nothing of it, shake it off, and enter the tunnel of love.

i'm plowing away and all of a sudden my stomach powershifts and i have the biggest toot ever on deck. i fake a hamstring cramp and roll into a sitting position on the bed and f'n FART. it felt like the space shuttle launch, heat and all just getting mushed into my poor sheets. i know it's just air so i'm OK but i stay seated like i'm Ginobili overselling because in case it reeks, i don't want to turn her off.

this happens at least 6 more times and she's concerned. i tell her i'm ok, and she offers up her fudgetunnel "if i think it'll help." it did. poor girl got demolished.

^^^what in the world kind of response is that

 

 

 

" oh.....are you ok?......i hope there is nothing wrong.....no , really if you are feeling a little sick i am so sorry. i am concerned .....but  here, just put it in there" 

 

like ...wut?     

I was thinking the same thing. Weird story all around.

That and the story about how dude farted while he was smashing and she farted too.

about 5-6 years ago (high school) i had taken my girl at the time home for some love making, so we're getting in the mood, making out, i'm rubbing things out like i'm making a fire with one hand. she then asks me to go down on her, so i'm eating and a few minutes into it she starts grabbing my head and buries my face into her. she starts moaning out that she's "finishing" then out of nowhere she lets out this nasty *** harley motorcycle fart while i'm down there, i get up and sit there like and she has a pillow over her face laughing her *** off

sneeze farted in 3rd grade during movie

whats a white whale?

Its an idiom referencing Moby ****. You use it to reference something you're pretty much obsessed with that you keep pursuing but never catch. If NT taught me anything, its to learn to keep it moving..

^^^I just thought white whale meant and NT thick caucasian woman. Yall are getting too technical with these terms.

Nah a White whale is a fat White girl. It's not a compliment. Haha.

i wonder how much that changes his story 

So white whale and great white buffalo are two different things?

Went to Chipotle with my girl a few weeks ago. We sat at one of those small 2 person tables. I commented on how it was too small, it was more like a 1 person table. She says its fine, lets just eat. We start eating, I reach for the Tabasco sauce and straight up spill my water all over myself and the floor She gets me napkins, has to make like 3 trips for napkins because of all the water Finally get it cleaned up and continue eating, as we are finishing, she spills her water all over herself and the floor I get her napkins and just look at her like I told you these tables are too small.

Never eat at the small tables at Chipotle, ever

a very very very appreciated response... it was her first time so i assumed it was her being naive, she wanted to try everything or she legit thought it would help.

either way that fudgetunnel was

@ yall overlooking the metaphorical literary reference of a white whale
Edited by Master Zik - 1/27/13 at 11:28am

"White Whale" refers to the fact you never reached/obtained your goal in the end. And goes deeper with the toll the pursuit takes on you (e.g., getting **** faced). "Great White Buffalo" is about the object of desire. Much like when we say a pair of shoes is our "Holy Grail." Its our ultimate desire and actually obtainable. Just hard to come by...

And no, I have not been beasting over no fat white girl . In fact the exact opposite