Embarassing Confessions Thread. Vol. I Hope Nobody Was Looking

I half **** my pants last weekend.


Same except it was Monday. Almost fainted.
Me and my boys were taking the bus to the Getty.

Had to sprint to make the bus.... took 4 steps and seepage squeezed out. 

Felt like a wet fart, but without the fart 
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got to the Getty and went straight to the bathroom, wiped, took of my chonies and tossed em in the corner. Freeballed it the rest of the day.


:x :lol:
 
Funny Story.

Alright I was working at Wal-Mart in 07, I just turned 18, It was my first job, I was a cart pusher.smh (lasted 3 months)

anyway 1 day I was pulling carts, they gave us these damn ropes to tie on the carts and pull them into the Corral, So I was pulling like 15 buggy's, pulling with all my might heading for the corral in front of the store, the next thing you know the damn rope snapped, I went flying through the air on some Jazz from the Fresh Prince steez 

, keep in mind this was in the walmart parking lot.smh there was tons of people witnessing me flying through the air, I hit that damn ground face first with a fury... So I hopped up just as fast as I had fallen and dusted myself off, I was SOOOO Embarrassed, people were just staring, laughing, and pointing at me.lol. I was all bruised up, hands and knees all skinned up.... All I could do was laugh it off, I mean it was funny as hell, I wasn't expecting that damn rope to pop so it caught me off guard. 

If someone recorded that moment it would of been a billlion hit viral video on youtube. I swear.
 
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Funny Story.

Alright I was working at Wal-Mart in 07, I just turned 18, It was my first job, I was a cart pusher.smh (lasted 3 months)

anyway 1 day I was pulling carts, they gave us these damn ropes to tie on the carts and pull them into the Corral, So I was pulling like 15 buggy's, pulling with all my might heading for the corral in front of the store, the next thing you know the damn rope snapped, I went flying through the air on some Jazz from the Fresh Prince steez 

, keep in mind this was in the walmart parking lot.smh there was tons of people witnessing me flying through the air, I hit that damn ground face first with a fury... So I hopped up just as fast as I had fallen and dusted myself off, I was SOOOO Embarrassed, people were just staring, laughing, and pointing at me.lol. I was all bruised up, hands and knees all skinned up.... All I could do was laugh it off, I mean it was funny as hell, I wasn't expecting that damn rope to pop so it caught me off guard. 

If someone recorded that moment it would of been a billlion hit viral video on youtube. I swear.
you should have bowed ...thanked everyone....the whole nine yards lol......sounded like a quick show....
 
Always enjoy these threads on NT

One of my first jobs was before I had a car so i'd get picked up after work by one of my parents. One day i'm waiting on the sidewalk for my ride to come and see a car that looks like my mom's car. They start pulling up and I step off the sidewalk into the street about to hop in the car, but the car keeps moving forward. I'm thinking to myself, "Why isn't my mom stopping so I can get in the car?" I chase after the car down the street and then I realize this car doesn't have the bumper sticker that my mom's car had. Guy in the car stomped on it and sped off as I was coming up to the car. Poor guy probably thought I was trying to pull a Grand Theft Auto car jacking. :lol: Probably the dumbest thing i've ever done. At least it didn't involve anyone I know, so no one gets to make fun of me except myself.


I've always had really bad eye sight, as a kid I rarely wore my glasses so sometimes I'd walk up to people I thought were my parents or siblings, and they would hit me with the. 0]


It was like that prank of the guy joining in on strangers convos. :smh: :lol:
 
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For the last couple of times ive tried to smash this chick im talking to currently I havent been able to get it up, or if i do get it up i cant maintain it.

The first time it happened i let it slide but then it happened a second time, then a third time. Im chalking it up to the fact that she doesnt turn me on and im not attracted to her anymore(She looked good the first day i met her but i realized that the alcohol may have influenced my perception), but i slick think i suffer from erectile dysfunction.

Ive been hitting her up less and less and trying to get other chicks on the stable to see if its her i have a problem with or is there a problem with me.
 
Always enjoy these threads on NT

One of my first jobs was before I had a car so i'd get picked up after work by one of my parents. One day i'm waiting on the sidewalk for my ride to come and see a car that looks like my mom's car. They start pulling up and I step off the sidewalk into the street about to hop in the car, but the car keeps moving forward. I'm thinking to myself, "Why isn't my mom stopping so I can get in the car?" I chase after the car down the street and then I realize this car doesn't have the bumper sticker that my mom's car had. Guy in the car stomped on it and sped off as I was coming up to the car. Poor guy probably thought I was trying to pull a Grand Theft Auto car jacking.
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Probably the dumbest thing i've ever done. At least it didn't involve anyone I know, so no one gets to make fun of me except myself.
 
**** my stomach...

One night back in 08, me and my homeboy get a gallon of svedka
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we goin on a 2 on 2 but the other shorty gets to fightin with her moms...

We end up runnin the 1 chick in my car and this ***** just walks home while me and shorty pass out in my car.

Next mornin Im drivin her home and start throwin up with the door open while Im driving.

Went to work smellin like straight vodka and sex
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Ended up going home early and throwin up again in the parking lot.

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Couple years ago, i leave out the crib without my house keys.

Get home at like 130am and had to take a ****.

Im callin and knockin and moms dont answer the door...

Went and took a **** in my backyard.

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For the last couple of times ive tried to smash this chick im talking to currently I havent been able to get it up, or if i do get it up i cant maintain it.

The first time it happened i let it slide but then it happened a second time, then a third time. Im chalking it up to the fact that she doesnt turn me on and im not attracted to her anymore(She looked good the first day i met her but i realized that the alcohol may have influenced my perception), but i slick think i suffer from erectile dysfunction.

Ive been hitting her up less and less and trying to get other chicks on the stable to see if its her i have a problem with or is there a problem with me.
Man I dont know that feel. 

everytime I think about sex my johnson gets hard. and Im 23.

Try Viagra.
 
For the last couple of times ive tried to smash this chick im talking to currently I havent been able to get it up, or if i do get it up i cant maintain it.


The first time it happened i let it slide but then it happened a second time, then a third time. Im chalking it up to the fact that she doesnt turn me on and im not attracted to her anymore(She looked good the first day i met her but i realized that the alcohol may have influenced my perception), but i slick think i suffer from erectile dysfunction.


Ive been hitting her up less and less and trying to get other chicks on the stable to see if its her i have a problem with or is there a problem with me.
Man I dont know that feel. 

everytime I think about sex my johnson gets hard. and Im 23.

Try Viagra.

man i dont wish this **** on anybody :smh: , i dont know what happened in my life that decreased my libido to its current level

ive actually been thinking of going to get some but you need a prescription from a doctor and I would feel hella embarrassed going to the doctor for ED at 22
 
For the last couple of times ive tried to smash this chick im talking to currently I havent been able to get it up, or if i do get it up i cant maintain it.


The first time it happened i let it slide but then it happened a second time, then a third time. Im chalking it up to the fact that she doesnt turn me on and im not attracted to her anymore(She looked good the first day i met her but i realized that the alcohol may have influenced my perception), but i slick think i suffer from erectile dysfunction.


Ive been hitting her up less and less and trying to get other chicks on the stable to see if its her i have a problem with or is there a problem with me.
Man I dont know that feel. 

everytime I think about sex my johnson gets hard. and Im 23.

Try Viagra.

man i dont wish this **** on anybody :smh: , i dont know what happened in my life that decreased my libido to its current level

ive actually been thinking of going to get some but you need a prescription from a doctor and I would feel hella embarrassed going to the doctor for ED at 22
It could be the female or something it's happened to me before with this baaaad *** female couldn't get it up and when I did it was hard to maintain. It's gotta be some mental or psychological thing. Don't worry about it
 
My homegirl came over during a huge storm one night since she lived down the street. This girl is pretty much my "white whale" for the last 5+ years but it just never happened. This night did not help my case... Anyway, I had already had a few drinks before she came through and she had some bud. I had not smoked in a good minute... So we're drinking, smoking and I'm just beyond **** faced. Next thing I know, I'm throwing up all over myself on some college freshman type stuff. :smh: She even came through the very next day and we watched Game of Thrones... Like I had everything needed that night to finally close and got too excited. But its best nothing happened as I was getting serious with someone...
 
My childhood friends and I used to "try" to tricks on bikes...anyways it was. a Saturday during the summer I had to be about 13/14..we were at the rec and way its set my up the parking lot leading out and coming in is on a slope..my friend rides down the hill with both arms in the air he's like try it I was skeptical at first but me being the "daredevil" I am..I went for it...so I do it once im like this is easy..so I try it again as I'm going down theres a semi coming so I made a sharp turn..I hit this cement trash can and fold like a book lol..my boy said my whole upper body was on top of the can while my legs were on the side still...I fall off and land next to the can...my boy was on the ground crying laughing..this car stopped and people were laughing this kid across the street started laughing lol..till this day I get clowned for this story

Another bike story...we had an swimming pool rec and it was like a mile n half walk for us...there was this dirt path we used as an shortcut..we set up this mini ramp there and would ride on it...so were riding on it they were takin videos of us to see who falls..my boys go then its my turn..so I go back atleast 30 feet for my start..I pedal as fast as I can..but about 6 feet away from the ramp i started loosing control..I didnt think of hitting the brakes till I'm up the ramp lol..so i hit the brakes in the air and I'm jerked off the bike I slide a good 3 feet on my palms...I get up I couldn't feel my wrist or hands...I get my feeling back both of my palms are gone..I had holes in them like i was crucified..I go to the hospital and they put cast on both wrist and hands lol...since it was friday there like let's hit the club ( we were 16/17)...me.being the twerk fanatic i was..I went with both casts n all lol..couldn't feel ish in my hands but I got a few dances n of course some ppl thought I was crazy for showing up like that
 
this reminds me :

first week of december 2009... i'm hanging out with this bangin' thick mixed chick. we go out to eat, and i have grilled chicken. we go back to my house, we're on the couch smooching, petting, whole nine. we move it to the bedroom, where she proceeds to tell me she's a virgin. i don't believe her, but anyway mouthskies are had by all, and when i rise up from enjoying the queen's feast my stomach cramps a little bit. i think nothing of it, shake it off, and enter the tunnel of love.

i'm plowing away and all of a sudden my stomach powershifts and i have the biggest toot ever on deck. i fake a hamstring cramp and roll into a sitting position on the bed and f'n FART. it felt like the space shuttle launch, heat and all just getting mushed into my poor sheets. i know it's just air so i'm OK but i stay seated like i'm Ginobili overselling because in case it reeks, i don't want to turn her off.

this happens at least 6 more times and she's concerned. i tell her i'm ok, and she offers up her fudgetunnel "if i think it'll help." it did. poor girl got demolished.
 
^^^what in the world kind of response is that

" oh.....are you ok?......i hope there is nothing wrong.....no , really if you are feeling a little sick i am so sorry. i am concerned .....but  here, just put it in there" 

like ...wut?     
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about 5-6 years ago (high school) i had taken my girl at the time home for some love making, so we're getting in the mood, making out, i'm rubbing things out like i'm making a fire with one hand. she then asks me to go down on her, so i'm eating and a few minutes into it she starts grabbing my head and buries my face into her. she starts moaning out that she's "finishing" then out of nowhere she lets out this nasty *** harley motorcycle fart while i'm down there, i get up and sit there like
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 and she has a pillow over her face laughing her *** off
 
My homegirl came over during a huge storm one night since she lived down the street. This girl is pretty much my "white whale" for the last 5+ years but it just never happened. This night did not help my case... Anyway, I had already had a few drinks before she came through and she had some bud. I had not smoked in a good minute... So we're drinking, smoking and I'm just beyond **** faced. Next thing I know, I'm throwing up all over myself on some college freshman type stuff. :smh: She even came through the very next day and we watched Game of Thrones... Like I had everything needed that night to finally close and got too excited. But its best nothing happened as I was getting serious with someone...

whats a white whale?
 
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