Tips on dealing with social awkwardness/anxiety?

Humbled

formerly whatslosinlike
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Aug 4, 2010
One of my many problems :smh:

Just got told I'm "extremely awkward person" by someone I kinda care about, and I couldn't even say anything because I know it's true.

It's not like I'm afraid to go outside or anything but sometimes I do have a hard time holding conversations with people/constantly looking people in the eye. I have no idea why either. I kind of blame my parents for making me stay in the house instead of letting me go outside when I was younger.

I NEEED to break out of this NT fam. I was getting the yambs for a little bit but I'm at a rock bottom point right now. Anybody else on here that used to be like this and broke out of it? please feel free to share. [emoji]128532[/emoji]

I just wanna be the life of the party b.
 
Drink alcohol. And stop caring what anyone thinks. Say the first thing that comes to your mind.
 
lowkey > life of the party

not fapping has decreased my overall anxiety and nervous feelings. staring people dead in the eyes while talking to them now. random conversations I would have never had.

stop touching your peen, b.
 
I agree with don't care about others peoples perceptions of you. Do what you want if people have a problem with it then that's on them. Don't limit your experiences based on how you think other people mainly females will react.

As far as being awkward I would try to be more social as in joining a club at school or try to go out more to interact with people and females. Honestly being on NT won't help a bit lol.
 
Drink alcohol. And stop caring what anyone thinks. Say the first thing that comes to your mind.

Bruh I'm to the point where I could be PISS DRUNK and still find a way to **** up talking to a female :smh:
 
I used to be shy and kind of awkward back in the day. When I was younger I had to move around a lot and so I was forced to be the new kid several times. As I got older I got used to being the new kid and learning to relate to people from completely different areas and mentalities than I had. Being in several extremely awkward situations helped things too. 
laugh.gif
 Nowadays I'm much less shy and I can regularly start and hold conversations with complete strangers.

You've got to force yourself out of your comfort zone in order to get results. As you progress and get more experience doing so, you'll start to become much more comfortable doing it. Don't rely on alcohol to calm your nerves since you could end up embarrassing yourself if you're really drunk and you won't know what to do if you're in a situation without it since you've become reliant.
 
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I'm the same way OP. You just have to be comfortable with who you are and try not to waste any processing power on external applications. Once you become comfortable with your own decisions/reactions/self, everything else will fall into place. I always had to put it to myself like this: why am I worried about people being comfortable with me, when I'm not even comfortable with myself? You gotta drop the dead weight. It might sound selfish, but it's not, because you are helping the people around you simply by helping yourself.

You need to let go of that irrelevant stuff in the past too. What matters is right now. Not the future, not the past, but right now. You can't spend down time on what already happened or else it's a double-whammy. And your voyage ahead into the future won't be a smooth ride if the waters around you aren't calm.

And forget about everyone else's concerns and opinions. They can't live your life. The only life of the party your missing out on is your own. Everyone else is living theirs. Forget them. You just need to do you. And with a vengeance. Take all of your frustrations and anxieties from the future, past and present, and ram them into the walls of success. Focus that negative energy on becoming the person you want to be. Because that's a lot of energy, and you want to replenish it with more powerful energy. And hopefully, after a lot of hard work and all of the ups and downs, that person that you will grow into, and become, will be a happy man.

And then you'll die dude. And at some point in the future, everyone that you will have ever known will have died too.
 
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I'm in the process of breaking out of my shyness right now being that it's senior year and im trying to make as many friends as I can. Just talk fam, you have to go out and think with the mentality that you want to make friends. Talk about recent things in the news, I usually go for stories that I have experienced that sound interesting, or opinionated topics that rely on thinking. It usually works, especially females since you challenge their view, which for some reason they like and they get engaged even more.
 
Also, the most important part to know is understanding how vitamins, minerals, and overall diet play into the experience. If you have damaged nerve cells from stress and anxiety, they will need to be rebuilt and you have to make sure you are providing those opportunities.
 
Quitting basketball had a major effect on me because it used to be such a great physical/creative outlet. I'm still searching for that thing that can replace it. It can be something that small that effects us so big. Especially when our minds are cluttered and we can't see clearly everything that is going on. Things get more convoluted that way. And it just builds up to a giant weight.
 
I had extreme social anxiety probably a lot worse than you. I did this audio program called overcoming social anxiety by Thomas Richards. It helped me a lot. You can probably find it for free somewhere online
 
lowkey > life of the party

not fapping has decreased my overall anxiety and nervous feelings. staring people dead in the eyes while talking to them now. random conversations I would have never had.

stop touching your peen, b.
This.

All of this.

Especially that.

Im so lowkey, one of my old yambs hit me up............. And she thought I had already moved out of the city.

That's how lowkey I am.
 
lowkey > life of the party


not fapping has decreased my overall anxiety and nervous feelings. staring people dead in the eyes while talking to them now. random conversations I would have never had.


stop touching your peen, b.

This.

All of this.

Especially that.

Im so lowkey, one of my old yambs hit me up............. And she thought I had already moved out of the city.

That's how lowkey I am.

Honestly, I've been lowkey for the past 21 years of my life. I ain't eem tryna hear that. :lol:
 
 
 
lowkey > life of the party


not fapping has decreased my overall anxiety and nervous feelings. staring people dead in the eyes while talking to them now. random conversations I would have never had.


stop touching your peen, b.
This.

All of this.

Especially that.

Im so lowkey, one of my old yambs hit me up............. And she thought I had already moved out of the city.

That's how lowkey I am.
Honestly, I've been lowkey for the past 21 years of my life. I ain't eem tryna hear that.
laugh.gif
Being introverted isn't a bad thing b...

But if you really want to break out of it instead of being comfortable with it, you're going to have to keep being awkward for a very long time to undo everything you've mentally reinforced due to being sheltered if my understanding of psychology is correct.

I wasn't really sheltered. I just found the balance between extroversion and introversion. If you're a lonely introvert you're doing it wrong.
 
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lowkey > life of the party


not fapping has decreased my overall anxiety and nervous feelings. staring people dead in the eyes while talking to them now. random conversations I would have never had.


stop touching your peen, b.
This.

All of this.

Especially that.

Im so lowkey, one of my old yambs hit me up............. And she thought I had already moved out of the city.

That's how lowkey I am.
Honestly, I've been lowkey for the past 21 years of my life. I ain't eem tryna hear that.
laugh.gif
Being introverted isn't a bad thing b...
Yes it is. Especially when deep inside it's not you. It's probably the way you came up that made you that way.
 
Coming from someone who's naturally inroverted, you really have to get into the habit of making small talk wherever you go and just build on that social momentum. It's much better for you in the long run.
 
 
 
 
 
lowkey > life of the party


not fapping has decreased my overall anxiety and nervous feelings. staring people dead in the eyes while talking to them now. random conversations I would have never had.


stop touching your peen, b.
This.

All of this.

Especially that.

Im so lowkey, one of my old yambs hit me up............. And she thought I had already moved out of the city.

That's how lowkey I am.
Honestly, I've been lowkey for the past 21 years of my life. I ain't eem tryna hear that.
laugh.gif
Being introverted isn't a bad thing b...
Yes it is. Especially when deep inside it's not you. It's probably the way you came up that made you that way.
Not at all. I wasn't even allowed to spend my day in the house. Pops would get mad and literally force me to go play outside unless it was cold.

Forced into soccer, basketball, football, and baseball teams.

Lost my curfew sophomore year of HS. I've partied, I've gotten drunk and done stupid ****, I've been high as the clouds, I made memories.. etc.

Still enjoy being by myself, but I can also function extremely well when I need to be extroverted as well. Balance.
 
I used to be shy and kind of awkward back in the day. Being in several extremely awkward situations helped things too. :lol:  Nowadays I'm much less shy and I can regularly start and hold conversations with complete strangers.

You've got to force yourself out of your comfort zone in order to get results. As you progress and get more experience doing so, you'll start to become much more comfortable doing it. Don't rely on alcohol to calm your nerves since you could end up embarrassing yourself if you're really drunk and you won't know what to do if you're in a situation without it since you've become reliant.

This is what worked for me. I fully embrace my awkwardness though, and you should too. Nothing better than having a convo with one of those cute awkward chicks on campus and being able to relate to and inoffensively laugh at her awkwardness :pimp:

That said, in addition to relying on getting out of your comfort zone as a method to gradually expand it, you should also lowkey observe how non-awkward people interact. You obviously want to be able to hold eye contact, but I'd say it's almost uncomfortable when someone is just staring at you intently through every second of a conversation. Learn the right balance. For conversations, I'd say that you should just always be witty and learn how to read the mood in terms of what subjects to get into (son up there is talking about how he's talking to girls about the news, I know almost no girls who would be interested in that :lol:.) Don't just talk about some pre-planned topic, find a way to relate to the individual. Could be anything from sneakers, to telling a girl you like something she has on/asking her a question about something you may not actually be interested in, to cracking a joke with someone while you're waiting in a long line.

Don't turn to drinking to solve this issue. I feel like a lot of people lowkey let themselves become alcoholics under the justification of them being more uninhibited when they're drunk. There's no reason you can't trick your mind into a state of feeling free without it.

As an introvert, I can be alone for DAYS and not be lonely. But it would be hard to get ahead in life like that. You may feel anxious when you put yourself out there, but do it anyway. You won't die. You seem like a cool dude, so just be chill in your approach, and never look like you're doing too much (don't walk across a room or someone just to talk to someone you don't know). The rest will iron itself out. You'll realize that more people have subtle awkward tendencies than it seemed at first, and that there's no reason to really be intimidated.
 
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