How not to be a pushover?

kn0wledgeable

kn0wledgeable

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Nov 16, 2002
Today one of my coworkers came over to me and kept it 100. He said I'm a pushover.
He believes I hold everything I feel inside and try to please everyone around me. This is not the first time I've been told this. This month I've been thinking about it but I do not know what to do to change my ways.

Naturally, I am a nice guy and very laid back. I try to avoid confrontations and I hate arguing.

NT what can I do to change? I do believe I need to change. It would be much healthier for myself and it would probably help with releasing anxiety.
 
Say no.

Be firm when you say it.

Be unreliable on purpose.

If someone has a problem don't hesitate to throw dem thangs if it escalates to that point (never does).
 
Actually pick/choose some battle, rather than brushing every one off.
 
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I'm the same way 
ohwell.gif


I'm super chill and go with the flow type cat that wants everyone happy even if it means i won't be at times.

I can be a **** at times but feel guilty after 
mean.gif
 
im that guy at work but i will not tolerate BS

they were scared the other day, i actually got an apology.

i see nothing wrong with bein that kind of person but dont be walked on or disrespected, stand your &$^%$**% ground
 
Gain respect from your co workers. 

Make sure your voice is heard and your stance on certain matters are known.
 
Just man up, dude. Someone asks you to do something that you don't want to do? Say no. Someone drops the ball in regards to something you're doing/working on? Hold them accountable. Sometimes you have to be an ******* to earn respect. But once that respect is earned, few will test you.
 
Pick and choose my man, I am kind of a push over at certain times too, but nothing to serious where it's gonna mess up my life.
 
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Al Audi said:
im that guy at work but i will not tolerate BS

they were scared the other day, i actually got an apology.

i see nothing wrong with bein that kind of person but dont be walked on or disrespected, stand your &$^%$**% ground
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This.

Besides if everyone in your job is vulgar/ rude, be that one guy that stays positive and kind. Believe me your superiors will notice.
 
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zapatohead408 said:
You should have clapped your coworkers shoulders b.
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"WHO'S THE PUSHOVER NOAW %!$$#!!!!!!"

BUT on a serious note, there are different personality types out there.

You got that guy that over analyzes other peoples choices like "Why is that guy standing over there looking like a douche."


Then you got the other guy " I'm still f'd up from last night at work. Hope nobody notices."

both could easily misinterpret the other.

"Why is this guy looking at me so hard. Is he the office snitch or does he "like" me like that"


Point im trying to make is that you can't judge people based on how they are at work.


And if ur a guy that takes the high road often it's because you are smart, not a wuss.

It's damn near illegal to defend yourself nowadays so trouble is best avoided. It's a privilege to grow old friends.
 
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WallyHopp said:
Ask him why he feels he needs to voice his opinion to you. DO what you do and dont let others dictate how you live, feel, or act.
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He was sincerely trying to help me out. He told me he had anxiety problems when he was younger and he saw the same traits he had in me.

More importantly, I actually fainted while I was at work and he caught me before I hit the ground. I fainted because of anxiety and pressure i was feeling at the moment. I never fainted before in my life. So he was really trying to help me out and telling me something that most other people wouldn't have the balls to tell me
 
Kn0wledgeable said:
He was sincerely trying to help me out. He told me he had anxiety problems when he was younger and he saw the same traits he had in me.

More importantly, I actually fainted while I was at work and he caught me before I hit the ground. I fainted because of anxiety and pressure i was feeling at the moment. I never fainted before in my life. So he was really trying to help me out and telling me something that most other people wouldn't have the balls to tell me
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Breave homie. Breave.

You got this.
 
You don't have to have confrontations to not be a pushover. Saying no politely is more than enough. I'm an accountant and new to this company; a lot of times people tried to make me do their @#$%@ work for them, but all I say is "sorry, but I have a lot to do already and I have deadlines to meet" or something along that line in a polite tone. It comes off a lot better than snapping back
 
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Just try to stay level-headed and don't let things overwhelm you. You're a person that your superiors picked to handle the duties you perform, don't let anything get in your way.
 
Kn0wledgeable said:
Yes i am
Click to expand...

I figured. Your situation sounds so similar to mine during the 1st few months at my job. Unfortunately that comes with the territory of being the new guy. I know, i was the new guy last year at my company. Not only was i the new guy i was also the most Jr. guy there so i was kinda the go to guy for everything. My company was also paying me a lot of money so it was expected of me to learn things quickly & do them right. Every time i made a mistake it was so unbearable. Honestly if you have a good work ethic, stay positive, & learn from your mistakes things will get so much easier. Give it like 3-4 months.
 
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