How not to be a pushover?

TAKE A WHOLE WEEK WHERE YOU ACT LIKE AN ******* TO EVERYONE. THAT WAY YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO NOT BE A PUSHOVER AND YOU BECOME MORE BALANCED. YOURE WELCOME
 
^You want him to be the first guy gone if there are ever any layoffs in the future?
 
I have a friend like this.  Dude holds everything back and lets people walk all over him, talk crap to him and he just smiles, the whole 9.  Then when he gets drunk the exact opposite comes out and he's a belligerent jerk who tries to fight everyone because of all his pent-up emotion.  So you definitely don't want to be that guy, there has to be a balance.
 
OP, go get "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Robert Glover it's a book you can find on Amazon for cheap.

Great read and should help you out a lot.
 
I'm a very laid back dude but don't take my kindness for weakness. They will take advantage of you. Just gotta put your foot down.
 
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You sound like me.   I'm always the dude that hates to fight and argue.  I wanna be the dude that chills and get along with everybody.  But people test you.  And sometimes you just gotta curse a mutha sucka out, to let them know where you stand and not to f with you.  You can be a nice guy, most def.  But you gotta show people that your not gonna take their sugar honey ice tea.  

How to get over you anxiety? Don't know. Its like getting over a relationship.  Some people can do it fast, some it takes awhile.  And don't be scared to curse somebody out.  Sometimes people need that come back to reality, because they feel like they can talk to you like that  without repercussions.
 
Some of this will go away when you become more comfortable with your new position/co-workers.

There's a few things you can do to portray yourself as someone who will not be pushed over:

1. When you speak to your co-workers/supervisor regarding a task or project that you feel is being pushed on you try to be firm, and not say too much. If someone asks you to do something you feel is not your responsibility and should be done by someone else, simply say, "I have others things I need to concentrate on right now/I can't help you with this/I think this should be done this way and by this person" any variation of that should work. A lot of people can't stop speaking when they're nervous and end up coming off as nervous, unsure of themselves. Try to use as little words as possible to get your point across.

2. Eye contact is huge when trying to get a point across, especially if you can look the person in the eye as you decline their request/stand your ground and hold that eye contact for a few extra seconds.

3. Act professional and serious around those that have power over you. Even if your supervisor/manager is friendly, make sure you show them that you respect authority and that you expect the same level of respect from your co-workers/those in other departments.

4. If there is a problem that you can forsee will be dumped in your lap, make sure you initiate that conversation before someone can come to you and ask you to do something you don't want to/isn't your responsibility. Identify the problem and propose a solution that does not involve you doing the whole thing and bring it to the attention of someone with authority that can delegate based on your recommendations.

Good luck!
 
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I'm bad about this myself but I've gotten better, always feeling like I've got to be the nice person to save the day. Sometimes it's too avoid someone elsegettingangry, even tho they may be wrong. Just say what you feel my dude, you don't always have to give in.
 
You should really examine this guy's intent in telling you that.

He might be trying to gas you up to do something he doesn't want to catch heat for. Don't let this dude put the battery in your back OP. If laid back is working for you, stay true to yourself and damn what anyone else says.
 
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You should really examine this guy's intent in telling you that.

He might be trying to gas you up to do something he doesn't want to catch heat for. Don't let this dude put the battery in your back OP. If laid back is working for you, stay true to yourself and damn what anyone else says.
 
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Be a a**hole at work with everybody including your supervisors. there not your friends and don't sign your check. Screw them all
 
Stop trying to please other people. It's your life....key word "YOUR."


Learn how to say No and express yourself assertively.


Passive aggressive silent treatment tactics are used by those ill-equipped to communicate effectively.
 
Thanks for all the tips. Gonna start applying them and be less of a people pleaser.
Thanks to who posted the Robert glover book. Gonna give that a read this week.
 
U won't change OP. U will try to and then people will say "You've changed, u used to be so much nicer" and in order to appease them, u'll continue being a pushover.
 
so don't be a pushover by following what this guy says?

what kind of society are we in when nice, laid back guys must change or else lol
 
OP, simply put, let them know you aren't the one.  Don't put yourself in a position where you're physically fighting, it was whatever when you were in high school and middle school, but you don't want to get arrested for assault.  Just let people know what's good when they do something that bothers you, it may ruin your friendship, but that person wasn't your friend anyway.  You aren't the only one that needs to work on it, I do as well.  I let my roommate get away with a couple of things, but dude ran wild with it.  I had to let him know that stuff wasn't cool and we've been on decent terms so far.  It was my fault for not bringing up issues sooner, so I had to give him a second chance.  That's it though, you can give people a second chance, but never a third...
 
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