Top Boy
formerly jay patt
- 8,405
- 5,622
- Joined
- Feb 5, 2013
"He who overcomes himself is divine. Most see their ruin before their eyes; but they go on into it." -Leopold Von Ranke
~REGISTRATION IS CLOSED~
*ASK THAT EVERYONE PLEASE DO THIS*
If you're out, please paste this into your, "Im out" post.
Really helps make my job easier when I sift through the thread. Thanks.
Really helps make my job easier when I sift through the thread. Thanks.
Rules
[II] Benefits
[III] Tips & Tricks
[IV] Testimonies
[V] Participants & Failures
RULES:
No intentional viewing of porn. You can look at the appreciation threads but you should know yourself well enough to know if its a trigger or not that will lead to fap.
No masturbation. Only touch your joint to clean it and pee with it.
No edging. If you're not sure what edging is, basically it means your about to get your rocks off and PC squeeze it to stop it from releasing. It's terrible for you.
*CHALLENGE* No orgasm. If you get a steady stream of yambs and view porn your brain is still being affected by the constant dopamine spike porn gives you. Delay O to see added benefits.
[II] BENEFITS:
1) Yamb Evisceration
2) Increased energy and drive.
3) Decrease in social anxiety, increased confidence and self-esteem aka BECOME ALPHA 1/3
4) Increased focus and concentration.
5) Increase in willpower.
6) Deeper Voice aka BECOME ALPHA 2/3
7) Increase in testosterone BECOME ALPHA 3/3
Fall asleep more quickly & deeper sleep.9) Re enabling of dopamine sensors = Increased life satisfaction.
And plenty more.
[III] TIPS FOR COMPLETION:
1) Take every day one at a time and DO NOT COUNT YOUR DAYS. Instead of thinking, "Wow I still have XX days left" instead think, "Wow I still have XX hours until this day is over." Seems simple, but I guarantee it's probably the best habit for no fap. We are all starting on the first.. But don't even think about that. Just tackle every single day as it comes.
2) Avoid "trigger" material. If you go into the variety of appreciation threads present on the forum, you have no one but yourself to blame if you fap. Avoid them like they give you cancer.
3) Preoccupy yourself. Student? There's always something for you to study and you should be taking advantage of your free (lol) membership to the gym. This is crucial as your testosterone will be at it's highest and you will gain quickly. Full timer? You're probably over or at the age of 21.. The world is at your fingertips. It's important to maintain a social life as this helps to reestablish what your brain finds important and make connections with real people.
4) Pause, but do not interact with your joint fam. By that I mean DO NOT touch it for any reason other than to pee or wash it in the shower/bath/whatever you do when you clean yourself. If you're new to no fap you will be EXTREMELY HORNY very very soon. This is so crucial as your subconscious will literally begin to create excuses and justifications for why you need to be fap and give it that dopamine spike it now craves.
5) Understand that if you do feel the need to fap to porn while taking part in no fap, your brain has already created the association between sexual satisfaction and porn especially if you started on porn and moved into sex, or you're still a virgin (you're going to need 5-7 months if you fap a lot as a virgin because your brain ONLY knows sexual satisfaction from porn).
6) Don't make these no fap months a game.. Participating in these just to go right back to fapping is absolutely pointless. You might as well not even join, as any benefits you gain from competition will be GONE shortly after you go back to porn.
[IV] Testimonies:
Hey fellow fapstronauts, elder here who attempted an experiment after he got his 90.
After I hit 90, I felt a lack of motivation to continue the challenge. "I'm not feeling the effects, I wanna fap cause I haven't in a while, I can totally keep changing my life while fapping to porn, it's not that big of a difference."
So I stopped and decided to fap until I wanted to go back to NoFap, if ever. This time has come recently, but if there's one thing it has taught me, it has taught me that addiction is very strong.
You see, I forgot how strong of a hold it has on you. All of the sudden, I was relapsing like my first ever time at NoFap all over again. I forgot my own tips and tricks. So in finding my old notes from my 90 day challenge, I remembered what they are.
Disclaimer
If you were feeling sufficient effects of no fap, but no longer do, this is because you have gotten used to being awesome. If you feel amazing for a long time, it will get mundane. So you need to spice it up or you will feel mediocre again. This leads to my first major tip, in no particular order:
-Work out. At least 3 times a week.
The thing with working out, is that so many people associate it with getting girls to like you. "Why would I work out so much", they say "I don't want to impress girls so much!". So they don't work out. Or the opposite side of the spectrum: I workout because I wanna look good for the girls man.
That's not what working out should be for. That's not the guide to happiness. That's a guide to dependence. You should want to work out to improve your health, life, and to improve yourself. Nothing's more satisfying then looking in the mirror and liking the person you see. If you aren't comfortable with your body, you're not going to like the person you see. If you start working out, you're going to like the way you look. I guarantee it. This leads into the next one:
Erase your dependency. Especially on girls and sex.
The prevailing mentality on NoFap is dangerous. Very much so. I see posts all the times that say "I got girls man. NoFap is working perfectly!" Which is fine. Be happy, sure. What I also see is posts that say " I don't have superpowers, girls don't like me, this doesn't work."
NoFap is not a journey to get girls to touch your penis. It is a personal and spiritual journey in a lot of ways. If you are dependent on the love of girls, then you are setting yourself up for failure because girls will not ALWAYS want you. And when you **** up or get rejected, your grip on the challenge will falter. Listen:
Happiness isn't about girls. The moment you realize you can go on for the rest of your life unmarried but still happy is the moment you erase that dependence. The belief that sex is so important is one of the biggest reasons people relapse. Because they can't control their lust. Your testes will not explode if you don't jack off or **** something. You can be happy with yourself, by yourself. Be dependent on yourself. You don't need approval from anyone but yourself. And also, when you start believing this, girls tend to like you more because they can tell you aren't needy. How so? Because you don't act like this girl is quite possibly your only chance to **** for the rest of your life and you don't act like you can't blow this or it's all over. Become self reliant. And:
Become congruent.
There's a principle called Cognitive Dissonance in psychology. It's when you perceive something that sends two conflicting messages. When this happens, it really ***** your brain up because you can't tell what is true and what is false. Here's an example:
I wanna stay on NoFap, but at the same time I wanna jack off.
Two conflicting messages. Sad, mad, and conflicting thoughts are like weeds for your mental state. If not destroyed, they grow and **** up your mind. So, eliminate negative thoughts like that when you think them and let positive thoughts flow. This is also why dependence is painful.
If your belief is "I don't need girls" but you're getting depressed when you get rejected, or you say sex isn't necessary but you're scrolling through ******* edging, you're ******g yourself up. You're saying one thing, but doing another. And actions speak louder then words, so watch this carefully.
Don't edge. Period. Like the earlier weed analogy, edging is dissonance. And you will go too far. Because eventually edging won't feel good either, and you'll want to finish. As animals, we often go into sexual hazes when we get horny. Nothing snaps you out of this later then thinking about where this behavior will leave you. When you finish, you will feel bad and regret the 2 seconds pleasure. I promise you that. It's only when you look down and see you're covered in your semen that the true shame sets in and you regret your actions. It's playing Russian roulette. Every time you play you have a chance of losing everything you've worked hard for.
-Cold Showers. I'm not going to tell you your testosterone increases. But it kills urges really hard. And it makes you feel more awake. Good for morning rituals.
-Change your life. NoFap is energy. Lots of it. Use it to change your life. Learn a new hobby, pick up a new skill, work harder at your job, work out, get better grades. Make a constructive use of your time. Clearly, you're here for a reason. You don't like where you are now, probably. You will stay there until you choose to move. Either you whine or you climb. And the ladder is in front of you.
Stop complaining.
Complaining is the least constructive thing in the world. Not quite destructive, but almost as bad. Complaining is the act of not solving a problem, but whining about it. Wasting valuable time you could have used to solve it, and poisoning your mental state. It's unnecessary and destructive, so don't do it. How do you stop this?
Be optimistic. Look to the bright side of everything. Smile more. Be happy. It's been proven that if you smile, even if it's fake, it makes you feel better. You feel happy. If negative thoughts come up, eliminate them and replace them with positive thoughts. Traffic Jam? Chance to relax and listen to good music. If you know you're ****** or that you're going to be in trouble no matter what, who cares anymore? What use is there getting upset when there's nothing you can do to change it? Stop worrying. It's on par with complaining in terms of uselessness. Let positivity flow. Become that guy who sees the bright side to everything.
Fake it til you make it. The thing with confidence is that it's in a lot of ways a state of being. If you think that you are great and successful, it will start to take root in your mind and actions. It's how affirmations work. A mental state of confidence will make your actions confident.
Filters. K9, RES, all that good stuff. Make the challenge as easy as you can make it. Why go through unnecessary hardship when you can just make it easier on yourself? It goes without saying then that you also need to stop watching Porn. Self explanatory. Dissonance.
Get Active.
Make something of your life. Get the **** off your computer and out of your comfort zone. Just go outside and do ****. As they say, "Everyone's just making it up as they go along just like you.". So go enjoy life. Do crazy ****. **** what people think of you. All that matters is what you think of yourself.
And finally,
Believe in yourself.
Believe you can do it. Make your thoughts congruent with your actions. Take it one day at a time. The journey of a 1000 miles begins with a single step. You do not sprint a marathon. So stop trying to take 90 days as 3 months. Think of it as 90 24 hour segments. Deal with each day at a time. If you look up Mount Everest from the bottom, of course it seems impossible. Just climb. Don't look down, don't look up, just climb. When you're at the top, you have permission to look down.
Stay strong fapstronauts. Those are my tips to success. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to start climbing. I haven't climbed in a long time.
After I hit 90, I felt a lack of motivation to continue the challenge. "I'm not feeling the effects, I wanna fap cause I haven't in a while, I can totally keep changing my life while fapping to porn, it's not that big of a difference."
So I stopped and decided to fap until I wanted to go back to NoFap, if ever. This time has come recently, but if there's one thing it has taught me, it has taught me that addiction is very strong.
You see, I forgot how strong of a hold it has on you. All of the sudden, I was relapsing like my first ever time at NoFap all over again. I forgot my own tips and tricks. So in finding my old notes from my 90 day challenge, I remembered what they are.
Disclaimer
If you were feeling sufficient effects of no fap, but no longer do, this is because you have gotten used to being awesome. If you feel amazing for a long time, it will get mundane. So you need to spice it up or you will feel mediocre again. This leads to my first major tip, in no particular order:
-Work out. At least 3 times a week.
The thing with working out, is that so many people associate it with getting girls to like you. "Why would I work out so much", they say "I don't want to impress girls so much!". So they don't work out. Or the opposite side of the spectrum: I workout because I wanna look good for the girls man.
That's not what working out should be for. That's not the guide to happiness. That's a guide to dependence. You should want to work out to improve your health, life, and to improve yourself. Nothing's more satisfying then looking in the mirror and liking the person you see. If you aren't comfortable with your body, you're not going to like the person you see. If you start working out, you're going to like the way you look. I guarantee it. This leads into the next one:
Erase your dependency. Especially on girls and sex.
The prevailing mentality on NoFap is dangerous. Very much so. I see posts all the times that say "I got girls man. NoFap is working perfectly!" Which is fine. Be happy, sure. What I also see is posts that say " I don't have superpowers, girls don't like me, this doesn't work."
NoFap is not a journey to get girls to touch your penis. It is a personal and spiritual journey in a lot of ways. If you are dependent on the love of girls, then you are setting yourself up for failure because girls will not ALWAYS want you. And when you **** up or get rejected, your grip on the challenge will falter. Listen:
Happiness isn't about girls. The moment you realize you can go on for the rest of your life unmarried but still happy is the moment you erase that dependence. The belief that sex is so important is one of the biggest reasons people relapse. Because they can't control their lust. Your testes will not explode if you don't jack off or **** something. You can be happy with yourself, by yourself. Be dependent on yourself. You don't need approval from anyone but yourself. And also, when you start believing this, girls tend to like you more because they can tell you aren't needy. How so? Because you don't act like this girl is quite possibly your only chance to **** for the rest of your life and you don't act like you can't blow this or it's all over. Become self reliant. And:
Become congruent.
There's a principle called Cognitive Dissonance in psychology. It's when you perceive something that sends two conflicting messages. When this happens, it really ***** your brain up because you can't tell what is true and what is false. Here's an example:
I wanna stay on NoFap, but at the same time I wanna jack off.
Two conflicting messages. Sad, mad, and conflicting thoughts are like weeds for your mental state. If not destroyed, they grow and **** up your mind. So, eliminate negative thoughts like that when you think them and let positive thoughts flow. This is also why dependence is painful.
If your belief is "I don't need girls" but you're getting depressed when you get rejected, or you say sex isn't necessary but you're scrolling through ******* edging, you're ******g yourself up. You're saying one thing, but doing another. And actions speak louder then words, so watch this carefully.
Don't edge. Period. Like the earlier weed analogy, edging is dissonance. And you will go too far. Because eventually edging won't feel good either, and you'll want to finish. As animals, we often go into sexual hazes when we get horny. Nothing snaps you out of this later then thinking about where this behavior will leave you. When you finish, you will feel bad and regret the 2 seconds pleasure. I promise you that. It's only when you look down and see you're covered in your semen that the true shame sets in and you regret your actions. It's playing Russian roulette. Every time you play you have a chance of losing everything you've worked hard for.
-Cold Showers. I'm not going to tell you your testosterone increases. But it kills urges really hard. And it makes you feel more awake. Good for morning rituals.
-Change your life. NoFap is energy. Lots of it. Use it to change your life. Learn a new hobby, pick up a new skill, work harder at your job, work out, get better grades. Make a constructive use of your time. Clearly, you're here for a reason. You don't like where you are now, probably. You will stay there until you choose to move. Either you whine or you climb. And the ladder is in front of you.
Stop complaining.
Complaining is the least constructive thing in the world. Not quite destructive, but almost as bad. Complaining is the act of not solving a problem, but whining about it. Wasting valuable time you could have used to solve it, and poisoning your mental state. It's unnecessary and destructive, so don't do it. How do you stop this?
Be optimistic. Look to the bright side of everything. Smile more. Be happy. It's been proven that if you smile, even if it's fake, it makes you feel better. You feel happy. If negative thoughts come up, eliminate them and replace them with positive thoughts. Traffic Jam? Chance to relax and listen to good music. If you know you're ****** or that you're going to be in trouble no matter what, who cares anymore? What use is there getting upset when there's nothing you can do to change it? Stop worrying. It's on par with complaining in terms of uselessness. Let positivity flow. Become that guy who sees the bright side to everything.
Fake it til you make it. The thing with confidence is that it's in a lot of ways a state of being. If you think that you are great and successful, it will start to take root in your mind and actions. It's how affirmations work. A mental state of confidence will make your actions confident.
Filters. K9, RES, all that good stuff. Make the challenge as easy as you can make it. Why go through unnecessary hardship when you can just make it easier on yourself? It goes without saying then that you also need to stop watching Porn. Self explanatory. Dissonance.
Get Active.
Make something of your life. Get the **** off your computer and out of your comfort zone. Just go outside and do ****. As they say, "Everyone's just making it up as they go along just like you.". So go enjoy life. Do crazy ****. **** what people think of you. All that matters is what you think of yourself.
And finally,
Believe in yourself.
Believe you can do it. Make your thoughts congruent with your actions. Take it one day at a time. The journey of a 1000 miles begins with a single step. You do not sprint a marathon. So stop trying to take 90 days as 3 months. Think of it as 90 24 hour segments. Deal with each day at a time. If you look up Mount Everest from the bottom, of course it seems impossible. Just climb. Don't look down, don't look up, just climb. When you're at the top, you have permission to look down.
Stay strong fapstronauts. Those are my tips to success. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to start climbing. I haven't climbed in a long time.
To those of you that didnt make it, i'm sorry for the loss. it is a personal challenge, and i hope you did your best and tried to show a little self control. just cuz you didnt make it thru the month does not mean you didnt gain anything from the process.
to those who are still in, congrats, famb... this might seem like a menial task, but men tend to let our penises run our lives. we let it dictate whether we had a good day or if we're successful. eff all'lat...
controlling your urges is one of the hardest things you can do. and if you can convince yourself to stop doing something, you can convince yourself you CAN DO ANYTHING.
glad yall made it thru. you may not be slaying chicks left and right. but i'm more than sure you've gained a little more focus, and that your confidence is elevated. your seaman's is what women dream of. it completes them when you deliver seamans so they can make the babies.
if your selective about it, you'll definitely gain more confidence not only in yourself, but your abilities. too long men have been cast as mere jizz hoses and that's all we're good for...
but cut that fountain off and see how things turn in your favor...
13 more days to go....
lesssss gooooooooo..
to those who are still in, congrats, famb... this might seem like a menial task, but men tend to let our penises run our lives. we let it dictate whether we had a good day or if we're successful. eff all'lat...
controlling your urges is one of the hardest things you can do. and if you can convince yourself to stop doing something, you can convince yourself you CAN DO ANYTHING.
glad yall made it thru. you may not be slaying chicks left and right. but i'm more than sure you've gained a little more focus, and that your confidence is elevated. your seaman's is what women dream of. it completes them when you deliver seamans so they can make the babies.
if your selective about it, you'll definitely gain more confidence not only in yourself, but your abilities. too long men have been cast as mere jizz hoses and that's all we're good for...
but cut that fountain off and see how things turn in your favor...
13 more days to go....
lesssss gooooooooo..
Hey there,
I'd like to share with you all the last 3 months of my life, relating to the use of porn, masturbation etc.
First thing to say, I'm 23, in a 3-year long lasting relationship, but as I discovered about 3 months ago (thanks to this and other sites) I had been addicted to porn for a very long time.
I always thought that porn viewing was normal. Everybody did it, masturbation was also considered normal and little did I think it could cause any problems in my life. In the beginnings I only watched regular porn, never even looked at the hardcore stuff since I found it disgusting but then something happened. I had experienced my first sexual encounter, but failed - and blamed it on the alcohol. This happened 3 times and by the time I went to college I still thought porn was OK, just reminded myself to watch the booze. I haven't realized that the kind of porn I used to watch changed and gradually it escalated until the only porn I watched was bi/transsexual porn. At times I even questioned my own sexuality, thinking about going for my first gay experience.
Somewhere between this I found a girl, became a couple and been together ever since. Of course, the sexual failures were very common in the begining. Erection problems at first, then premature ejaculation, sometimes even delayed ejaculation. These problems have come and gone, and I never really thought what was the cause. Sometimes I blamed it on school/work related stress, tiredness and I even thought that my GF just stopped attracting me. Now I realise how lucky I am to have her endured all this and still stand by me.
But to get to the point. As most of you I have come across few articles dealing with the influence of porn on our sexual performance. I have thought for a while and really realised, that my sex life was always better at times when we were together for longer periods - during which I usually didn't watch porn. After browsing the forums, reading almost every single article I came to the conclusion that I have to stop viewing porn.
And that's what I did. 14 weeks ago.
The first 2 weeks were terrible. Couldn't sleep. Really, I remember not sleeping for 4 or 5 days. Thought I'd go crazy. My head was about to explode. Then the flatline kicked in and lasted for 2, maybe 3 weeks. I felt ashamed, wronged, useless. The only thing that made me a man did not work. No morning woods. No interest in anything. Luckily, I haven't seen my GF for almost a month, due to her studying for graduation exams, so I did not have to think about what would happen if we were to have sex.
After about 5-6 weeks, my morning wood came back. What a relief that was. I starting having the best erections of my life during the day. Sometimes more, sometimes less, but I had a feeling I was on the right track. Then, after the exams, we finally had sex, one of the best in our lives. No erection problems, no PE. I felt like Hercules and decided to carry on in what I was doing.
What now?
- I haven't watched porn for almost 3 months now
- masturbated a few times, but always thought about my GF
- sometimes my erection is not 100% and sometimes I come as quick as in a couple of minutes, but I guess that is the part of the proccess
- I value my GF more, not just for the body or sex we are having, but somehow I stopped limiting our relationship to just physics and care more for the emotional aspect
- I cannost say I have more energy, because I never lacked it, or the motivation to do something - but I do feel good about myself, about stopping my addiction, something that was not real and something that stole my focus from reality
- I know my journey is not over. I still have urges sometimes. To turn it on, just as a treat for myself. That shemale porn, so exciting...
- But then I realise how stupid I would be If I went back, to those half-alive erections and 1 minute lasting sex
- In exchange for what? Instant rush of dopamine in my head that would f*ck me up for another 3 months?
What helped me?
- support pages, every time I had the feeling I would snap I visited the forums and read, just kept reading
- diet, even though I do not know if It helped a lot or just a bit, a few weeks before I stopped viewing porn I changed my diet, I stopped eating diary, minimised meat intake, started eating lots of fruits and veggies, mostly organic and I totally cut off junk food, later added chlorella and omega fats as supplements to help my brain with rebooting
- I also realised that the whole porn industry thing is just not real, the women, the acts, the feelings from it....now it feels alien to me, all those fake tit implants, make-up, fake situations, relationships, fake orgasms, fake penises, etc. Yes, the women may look better than in real life, but just because they are actresses, paid for it. It's their job.
And I decided I don't want to watch other people have sex anymore. I want to be the one enjoying it ! Living the real deal, not the fake **** happening in the movie.
So that's my story, I know it's not over, I know I am leaving behing one way to instantly gratify myself, but I refuse to pay its cost anymore.
M.
I'd like to share with you all the last 3 months of my life, relating to the use of porn, masturbation etc.
First thing to say, I'm 23, in a 3-year long lasting relationship, but as I discovered about 3 months ago (thanks to this and other sites) I had been addicted to porn for a very long time.
I always thought that porn viewing was normal. Everybody did it, masturbation was also considered normal and little did I think it could cause any problems in my life. In the beginnings I only watched regular porn, never even looked at the hardcore stuff since I found it disgusting but then something happened. I had experienced my first sexual encounter, but failed - and blamed it on the alcohol. This happened 3 times and by the time I went to college I still thought porn was OK, just reminded myself to watch the booze. I haven't realized that the kind of porn I used to watch changed and gradually it escalated until the only porn I watched was bi/transsexual porn. At times I even questioned my own sexuality, thinking about going for my first gay experience.
Somewhere between this I found a girl, became a couple and been together ever since. Of course, the sexual failures were very common in the begining. Erection problems at first, then premature ejaculation, sometimes even delayed ejaculation. These problems have come and gone, and I never really thought what was the cause. Sometimes I blamed it on school/work related stress, tiredness and I even thought that my GF just stopped attracting me. Now I realise how lucky I am to have her endured all this and still stand by me.
But to get to the point. As most of you I have come across few articles dealing with the influence of porn on our sexual performance. I have thought for a while and really realised, that my sex life was always better at times when we were together for longer periods - during which I usually didn't watch porn. After browsing the forums, reading almost every single article I came to the conclusion that I have to stop viewing porn.
And that's what I did. 14 weeks ago.
The first 2 weeks were terrible. Couldn't sleep. Really, I remember not sleeping for 4 or 5 days. Thought I'd go crazy. My head was about to explode. Then the flatline kicked in and lasted for 2, maybe 3 weeks. I felt ashamed, wronged, useless. The only thing that made me a man did not work. No morning woods. No interest in anything. Luckily, I haven't seen my GF for almost a month, due to her studying for graduation exams, so I did not have to think about what would happen if we were to have sex.
After about 5-6 weeks, my morning wood came back. What a relief that was. I starting having the best erections of my life during the day. Sometimes more, sometimes less, but I had a feeling I was on the right track. Then, after the exams, we finally had sex, one of the best in our lives. No erection problems, no PE. I felt like Hercules and decided to carry on in what I was doing.
What now?
- I haven't watched porn for almost 3 months now
- masturbated a few times, but always thought about my GF
- sometimes my erection is not 100% and sometimes I come as quick as in a couple of minutes, but I guess that is the part of the proccess
- I value my GF more, not just for the body or sex we are having, but somehow I stopped limiting our relationship to just physics and care more for the emotional aspect
- I cannost say I have more energy, because I never lacked it, or the motivation to do something - but I do feel good about myself, about stopping my addiction, something that was not real and something that stole my focus from reality
- I know my journey is not over. I still have urges sometimes. To turn it on, just as a treat for myself. That shemale porn, so exciting...
- But then I realise how stupid I would be If I went back, to those half-alive erections and 1 minute lasting sex
- In exchange for what? Instant rush of dopamine in my head that would f*ck me up for another 3 months?
What helped me?
- support pages, every time I had the feeling I would snap I visited the forums and read, just kept reading
- diet, even though I do not know if It helped a lot or just a bit, a few weeks before I stopped viewing porn I changed my diet, I stopped eating diary, minimised meat intake, started eating lots of fruits and veggies, mostly organic and I totally cut off junk food, later added chlorella and omega fats as supplements to help my brain with rebooting
- I also realised that the whole porn industry thing is just not real, the women, the acts, the feelings from it....now it feels alien to me, all those fake tit implants, make-up, fake situations, relationships, fake orgasms, fake penises, etc. Yes, the women may look better than in real life, but just because they are actresses, paid for it. It's their job.
And I decided I don't want to watch other people have sex anymore. I want to be the one enjoying it ! Living the real deal, not the fake **** happening in the movie.
So that's my story, I know it's not over, I know I am leaving behing one way to instantly gratify myself, but I refuse to pay its cost anymore.
M.
This is going to be a 90 day report of some kind, however I feel that I'm far from where I want to be and I have a long way to go. I'm going to tell it like it is in this thing and I apologize in advance if the writing style seems a choppy.
First I'll cut to the chase and tell what improvements I noticed.
Larger balls - There is no doubt about it my balls grew larger during my 90 days with no PMO.
Brain fog - It sat in hard during my reboot and almost became debilitating I really felt like a ******. However in the last two weeks it's gotten slightly better and more manageable.
Calmer mind - Over the past week which is my last week of the initial 90 day period this deep sense of calmness has come over me unlike anything I've felt in a long time. My life is pure **** right now, my family is falling apart, I'm battling depersonalization and I'm also severely depressed. And you know what? I'm calmer than I've been in years, I just don't give a ****.
I can get an erection by just touch and no stimuli and masturbate successfully to orgasm without deathgripping. That's alot of improvement from jacking off to porn and having a weak *** erection and an extremely lackluster orgasm.
My penis looks better, it's slightly more vascular and even when it's not hard the skin in see through. You can see the veins underneath the skin and stuff.
I may have missed something but I'm not sure. Anyway it's been a hell of a journey so far, during this time I've battle depersonalization so badly it's not even funny. I've been to the lowest I've ever been. I've lived an existence that has been pure hell on earth. For a couple weeks there I hated my existence. I don't even know why I didn't attempt suicide. My depersonalization hasn't gone away completely but it's changed slightly, but I'm not going to do into detail with that right now. Although I've had very brief moments where I've felt almost completely normal. I greatly look forward to the day that it leaves me for good. It's pure hell and unless you've experienced it you cannot even imagine. I was depressed before all of this and didn't even know it. I fear that I've really screwed with my brain chemisty during the last couple years of my life with benzos, SSRI, and PMO. I'd become a zombie and didn't even realize it until earlier this year. Had depersonalization not struck me I'd still be doing it today. It took something this horrible and drastic to make me realize what I was doing. I'm not quite sure what I believe in but I feel like this was meant to happen to me. It's a path I have to take and walk down, go through, endure, and eventually one day I'm going to emerge from the other side of this victorious. I'll be stronger than ever.
Over the last couple weeks I've begun to see improvements in myself slowly. I've started to feel slightly optimistic and feel like this isn't the end of me. Things are far from good though. I still have to learn how to live with this depersonalization and try to recover from it. I'm severely depresssed and I'm not sure if it's contributing to the depersonalization or if it is what's actually causing it. In the libido department I'm also bad off. I probably have a record for flatline, because I've been in one for over 90 days now. A bad one, no morning wood, no nothing. Real life girls don't interest me at all and neither does porn. I feel completely asexual, however I can get an erection from just touch. I decided to MO without any fantasy because I've heard that after extended flatline some people have reawakened their libidos by MOing. So far I don't see how it's helped any, but at the same time it's not hurt either. It didn't make my brain fog worse like it did the last time I relapsed to PMO. I didn't feel guilty and it actually felt kind of natural and right.
I'm going to list some things that helped me and couple tips that might help somebody.<br />
1. Zero Tolerance - Don't touch your **** unless your pissing or washing it. No questions just don't.
2. I went at this like there was no other option, because quite frankly there wasn't for me. I was already so far down with depersonalization and depression that there was no other option. It was no fap or I was done for. I basically went at this like my life depended on it.
3. Elliott Hulse - Guy is amazing, look up his youtube channels. He has advise on pretty much anything, his answers are always no ******** from the heart holistic answers. Bioenergetics is a very interesting subject and I think alot of us could benefit from it. Just take my word for it and look this guy up. He's my hero/mentor.
4. Music - I don't play music at all, but I love to listen to it. When I'm down and I'm too depressed to do anything else I'll lay down and listen to music. I listen to songs that talk about real ****, real problems. One band I spent alot of time listening to during this is Staind. Their lead singer Aaron Lewis is amazing. They have a cover of Pink Floyd's "Comfortably Numb" that is great. Most beatiful song I've ever heard in my life, and I didn't know this before but one of the meanings of the song is actually describing depersonalization. It makes me feel better knowing that other people have gone through what I'm going through right now and I'm not alone.
I'm still far from where I know I should be, and I'm not calling this a success story yet. I know nofap isn't a cure all, but there is definately something too it. When I get my libido back I'm going to call this a success. Until then I fight on, I'm never going back to watching porn under any circumstances. I just have a feeling in my soul that this is all intertwined. That this depression and everything else will fade in time as my brain straightens itself out. I also have to get back to lifting weights. I've let all this ruin my weight lifting, I used to love to lift now I just don't care anymore. I'm in some of the worst shape I've been in years.
Also a warning about cold showers. I began to take cold showers longer before I knew about no fap. I'd been taking cold showers for over a year and I started to feel fatigued all the time and didn't know why. It dawned on my one day that they might be connected, I quit taking cold showers and I started to have more energy. I don't know if it's coincidence but I think the ice cold showers over time had beaten down my body or nervous system or something. I think they're a good idea short term but don't do it for long.
First I'll cut to the chase and tell what improvements I noticed.
Larger balls - There is no doubt about it my balls grew larger during my 90 days with no PMO.
Brain fog - It sat in hard during my reboot and almost became debilitating I really felt like a ******. However in the last two weeks it's gotten slightly better and more manageable.
Calmer mind - Over the past week which is my last week of the initial 90 day period this deep sense of calmness has come over me unlike anything I've felt in a long time. My life is pure **** right now, my family is falling apart, I'm battling depersonalization and I'm also severely depressed. And you know what? I'm calmer than I've been in years, I just don't give a ****.
I can get an erection by just touch and no stimuli and masturbate successfully to orgasm without deathgripping. That's alot of improvement from jacking off to porn and having a weak *** erection and an extremely lackluster orgasm.
My penis looks better, it's slightly more vascular and even when it's not hard the skin in see through. You can see the veins underneath the skin and stuff.
I may have missed something but I'm not sure. Anyway it's been a hell of a journey so far, during this time I've battle depersonalization so badly it's not even funny. I've been to the lowest I've ever been. I've lived an existence that has been pure hell on earth. For a couple weeks there I hated my existence. I don't even know why I didn't attempt suicide. My depersonalization hasn't gone away completely but it's changed slightly, but I'm not going to do into detail with that right now. Although I've had very brief moments where I've felt almost completely normal. I greatly look forward to the day that it leaves me for good. It's pure hell and unless you've experienced it you cannot even imagine. I was depressed before all of this and didn't even know it. I fear that I've really screwed with my brain chemisty during the last couple years of my life with benzos, SSRI, and PMO. I'd become a zombie and didn't even realize it until earlier this year. Had depersonalization not struck me I'd still be doing it today. It took something this horrible and drastic to make me realize what I was doing. I'm not quite sure what I believe in but I feel like this was meant to happen to me. It's a path I have to take and walk down, go through, endure, and eventually one day I'm going to emerge from the other side of this victorious. I'll be stronger than ever.
Over the last couple weeks I've begun to see improvements in myself slowly. I've started to feel slightly optimistic and feel like this isn't the end of me. Things are far from good though. I still have to learn how to live with this depersonalization and try to recover from it. I'm severely depresssed and I'm not sure if it's contributing to the depersonalization or if it is what's actually causing it. In the libido department I'm also bad off. I probably have a record for flatline, because I've been in one for over 90 days now. A bad one, no morning wood, no nothing. Real life girls don't interest me at all and neither does porn. I feel completely asexual, however I can get an erection from just touch. I decided to MO without any fantasy because I've heard that after extended flatline some people have reawakened their libidos by MOing. So far I don't see how it's helped any, but at the same time it's not hurt either. It didn't make my brain fog worse like it did the last time I relapsed to PMO. I didn't feel guilty and it actually felt kind of natural and right.
I'm going to list some things that helped me and couple tips that might help somebody.<br />
1. Zero Tolerance - Don't touch your **** unless your pissing or washing it. No questions just don't.
2. I went at this like there was no other option, because quite frankly there wasn't for me. I was already so far down with depersonalization and depression that there was no other option. It was no fap or I was done for. I basically went at this like my life depended on it.
3. Elliott Hulse - Guy is amazing, look up his youtube channels. He has advise on pretty much anything, his answers are always no ******** from the heart holistic answers. Bioenergetics is a very interesting subject and I think alot of us could benefit from it. Just take my word for it and look this guy up. He's my hero/mentor.
4. Music - I don't play music at all, but I love to listen to it. When I'm down and I'm too depressed to do anything else I'll lay down and listen to music. I listen to songs that talk about real ****, real problems. One band I spent alot of time listening to during this is Staind. Their lead singer Aaron Lewis is amazing. They have a cover of Pink Floyd's "Comfortably Numb" that is great. Most beatiful song I've ever heard in my life, and I didn't know this before but one of the meanings of the song is actually describing depersonalization. It makes me feel better knowing that other people have gone through what I'm going through right now and I'm not alone.
I'm still far from where I know I should be, and I'm not calling this a success story yet. I know nofap isn't a cure all, but there is definately something too it. When I get my libido back I'm going to call this a success. Until then I fight on, I'm never going back to watching porn under any circumstances. I just have a feeling in my soul that this is all intertwined. That this depression and everything else will fade in time as my brain straightens itself out. I also have to get back to lifting weights. I've let all this ruin my weight lifting, I used to love to lift now I just don't care anymore. I'm in some of the worst shape I've been in years.
Also a warning about cold showers. I began to take cold showers longer before I knew about no fap. I'd been taking cold showers for over a year and I started to feel fatigued all the time and didn't know why. It dawned on my one day that they might be connected, I quit taking cold showers and I started to have more energy. I don't know if it's coincidence but I think the ice cold showers over time had beaten down my body or nervous system or something. I think they're a good idea short term but don't do it for long.
I never thought or imagined that I would be posting this on a forum for people addicted to porn. However after finding ybop a few months ago and successfully completing a 30 day no PMO I can finally say I found the solution to my problem. It all started about 4 years ago after I ended a toxic relationship and began the use of heavy porn and MO. One day it just started happening, my erections were weaker and no matter how much I escalated porn use I really was unable to achieve anything more than an 80% erection. It left me depressed as **** and I thought that it was just a phase and blamed it on anything really.
Also for the past 4 years ive suffered from derealization brought on from anxiety/depression, which incase people don't know is the feeling of constantly living in a dream/unreality/severe brain fog. But after the first two weeks of no PMO I felt like a huge portion of this veil of unreality was lifted and I felt more in tune with myself and my environment.
I'll be going into my 3rd year of college and I've attempted sex with real females over 20 times with only 2 or 3 being successful. Most of the time I either blamed it on alcohol or nerves. But after this 30 day reboot I can wholeheartdly say that was a complete ******** lie I told myself. I finally went to test myself with MO today using a fleshlight and I had the hardest erection and most intense orgasm I've probably had since I hit puberty, Didn't last more than 15 strokes but thats expected.
This result is very encouraging, I will continue to completely block Porn from my life for as long as I possible and I plan on trying to go another month without MO. Will keep this updated for anyone who cares.
Also I feel like the past 4 years of my life were totally wasted as far as relationships are concerned because PMO left me objectivly attracted to women with no real emotional attachment. Its pretty eye opening to me now that women were just another tool in the box to me before this reboot. I think that view is drastically changing now, thank god.
Also for the past 4 years ive suffered from derealization brought on from anxiety/depression, which incase people don't know is the feeling of constantly living in a dream/unreality/severe brain fog. But after the first two weeks of no PMO I felt like a huge portion of this veil of unreality was lifted and I felt more in tune with myself and my environment.
I'll be going into my 3rd year of college and I've attempted sex with real females over 20 times with only 2 or 3 being successful. Most of the time I either blamed it on alcohol or nerves. But after this 30 day reboot I can wholeheartdly say that was a complete ******** lie I told myself. I finally went to test myself with MO today using a fleshlight and I had the hardest erection and most intense orgasm I've probably had since I hit puberty, Didn't last more than 15 strokes but thats expected.
This result is very encouraging, I will continue to completely block Porn from my life for as long as I possible and I plan on trying to go another month without MO. Will keep this updated for anyone who cares.
Also I feel like the past 4 years of my life were totally wasted as far as relationships are concerned because PMO left me objectivly attracted to women with no real emotional attachment. Its pretty eye opening to me now that women were just another tool in the box to me before this reboot. I think that view is drastically changing now, thank god.
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lynchpin33
Based Jesus
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hymen man
PapiChuloo
trickster360cj
TroyD
travis
atm23
AdobeCS4
Fontaine
Legendairy Stinson
Franco23x
GeneralDiscussion
aec23
sooperhooper
CDonWasHisName
xcfastdude
a blinkin
ObeahMyal7
ElijahDukes
ROBPZEE612
Calypso Chanta
Timid Tebow
papageorgeo510
pr0phecy718
VoidEmperor
s1eepyboy
Don Adidada
AYeM26
young dunny
stopcappin
ICE CITY FC
NICKLE DIME BAY
heatpinoyboy
Dondada22
GhettoFabolous337
henz0
stopfakin83
Kove
Mr Marcus
C Money 88 05
Antidope
solefood229
DLee23
Jking0821
toast1985
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PatentBoy23
taymane23
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krazy88s
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reazsal
rapsteady1MD
Kal-El-8
Mark Antony
Red Is On NT
Naija Nitemare
SoleKing
DaRaiderfan
reazsal
CraigFromFriday
snax91
SoleAsian
ayotayo
crash bunny rec
Chip Douglas
Meangene45
Mags on fire
Kesp
BenTrill
Putting In Work
sunshineblotters
YoungHeadJenks5
jcmojica24
rrickrude
MrSneakerman
DMVisRNB
hebgbz
airblaster503
CTidda
yotk13
rocman23
FirstClass
trueprada
Pierito
datboi81
migit1209
jm2000
jhova718
AndOneFlip
hrtjccc
tkthafm
MrForce1
Judge
TommyIceRocking
maddog345
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mbeezy
jimalojj
vcshoxj6
a blinkin
HoosierDaddy317
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Dman22193
JayPiff
Meek Meals
TangoNoob
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