Penis Related Accidents Complied From 2013.......MS PAINT CONTEST + NTer STORIES

Ja's 2¢

Ja's 2¢

formerly vcshoxj6
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Deadspin compiled these reports straight from the "U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's database of emergency room visits."

Some of these are :x :smh: :rofl: :frown: :stoneface:
All descriptions are verbatim from ER admittance records:

  • PUT HIS WEDDING RING ON HIS PENIS, NOW CAN'T GET IT OFF
  • SITTING ON A TOILET AND DROPPED CIGARETTE ONTO PENIS
  • BLEEDING FROM PENIS, WAS DANCING AND RUBBING UP AGAINST SOMEONE REALLY ROUGH
  • STRUCK PENIS ON SPEAKER BOX
  • CUT PENIS ON GIRLFRIENDS BELLY BUTTON RING
  • WAS AT A WATER PARK AND RAN INTO A POLE, FOREHEAD AND PENIS CONTUSION
  • HAS BEEN WRAPPING TISSUES AROUND PENIS WHILE GOING TO THE BATHROOM;DYSURIA
  • WAS SEWING PANTS AND GOT NEEDLE STUCK IN PENIS
  • GOLFING AND GOT TICK BITE TO PENIS
  • LACERATION PENIS WHEN GRABBED DURING BASKETBALL GAME
  • WHILE PUTTING ON PJ'S HE HIT HIS PENIS AGAINST THE WALL
  • WAS IN THE SHOWER WASHING HIS PENIS, HAD FORESKIN PULLED BACK, & GOT STARTLED, HE PULLED IT BACK FURTHER. PENILE FRENULUM TEAR
  • WAS WALKING IN HOME AND FELL THROUGH THE FLOOR BOARDS STRUCK PENIS
  • LACERATION TO PENIS USING SHOT GLASS TO MASTURBATE
  • DEVELOPED A LESION TO PENIS AFTER WEARING SOMEONE ELSES PANTS
  • SHOT WITH BB GUN BY BRO TO THE GENITAL
  • HEMATOMA TO PENIS AFTER BUMPING INTO A POOL TABLE WHILE TRYING TO TAKE A SHOT
  • BURNT PENIS WITH BLOW DRYER
  • ON TREADMILL, FELL WITH PANTS GETTING CAUGHT & PULLED INTO TREADMILL, INJURY TO PENIS, PENILE SWELLING & PAIN, TENDERNESS; LACERATION OF PENIS
  • WALKING ON A TREADMILL AS IT WAS GOING VERY SLOWLY AND FELL OFF EDGE CAUGHT PENIS ON THE TREADS ABRASION PENIS
  • DROPPED A 10LB WEIGHT ONTO PENIS
  • WAS JUMPING FROM ONE COUCH TO ANOTHER NOW PAIN TO PENIS.
  • SLIPPED OUT OF HIS CHAIR LAST NIGHT ONTO CARPET ATTEMPTING TO CATCH A BUG. PENIS ABRASION
  • FELL IN SHOWER DIRECTLY ONTO ERECT PENIS. HEARD CRACK TO SITE.
  • RUNNING WITH ERECT PENIS AND FELL ONTO FLOOR SUSTAINING PENILE FRACTURE
  • HEARD A POP TAKING OFF BOXERS. PENILE FRACTURE
  • WAS SITTING ON COUCH @ HOME, WHEN SIBLING THREW A LARGE TOY TRUCK AT HIM HITTING PENIS. TRAUMA.
  • OLDER BROTHER & HIM HORSING AROUND WHEN SIBLING BIT PENIS.
  • SHUT A DVD CASE ON PENIS
  • PLACED AN ELECTRIC LINT REMOVER TO PENIS AND SUSTAINED A CUT
  • USING A MILK JUG FOR A URINAL, SCRAPED PENIS ON ROUGH EDGE OF PLASTIC
  • HAS BEEN PUTTING HOT TOWELS ON HIS PENIS, & STRETCHING IT , TO MAKE IT BIGGER, SAW IT ON INTERNET-PENIS PAIN.
Click to expand...

DEADSPIN

View media item 721631
 
WAS IN THE SHOWER WASHING HIS PENIS, HAD FORESKIN PULLED BACK, & GOT STARTLED, HE PULLED IT BACK FURTHER. PENILE FRENULUM TEAR 
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Don't people know how to lie?

I actually found a tick on my nuts once, didn't require medical attention but was freaked out.
 
vcshoxj6 said:
Deadspin compiled these reports straight from the "U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's database of emergency room visits."

Some of these are
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mean.gif
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frown.gif
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All descriptions are verbatim from ER admittance records:
  • GOLFING AND GOT TICK BITE TO PENIS
  • DWYANE WADE JR
  • LACERATION PENIS WHEN GRABBED DURING BASKETBALL GAME
  • WHILE PUTTING ON PJ'S HE HIT HIS PENIS AGAINST THE WALL
  • WAS IN THE SHOWER WASHING HIS PENIS, HAD FORESKIN PULLED BACK, & GOT STARTLED, HE PULLED IT BACK FURTHER. PENILE FRENULUM TEAR
  • WAS WALKING IN HOME AND FELL THROUGH THE FLOOR BOARDS STRUCK PENIS
  • LACERATION TO PENIS USING SHOT GLASS TO MASTURBATE
Click to expand...
Click to expand...
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HAS BEEN PUTTING HOT TOWELS ON HIS PENIS, & STRETCHING IT , TO MAKE IT BIGGER, SAW IT ON INTERNET-PENIS PAIN.

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Lmao , surprised they didn't list that mma fighter who broke his while his girl was riding him
 
I haven't seen "PENIS" that many times in a row since the last time I was proofreading my WWE fan fiction.
 
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Reactions: Ube
WAS IN THE SHOWER WASHING HIS PENIS, HAD FORESKIN PULLED BACK, & GOT STARTLED, HE PULLED IT BACK FURTHER. PENILE FRENULUM TEAR

FELL IN SHOWER DIRECTLY ONTO ERECT PENIS. HEARD CRACK TO SITE.

View media item 721791
*Dead* @ the dude using a shot glass to fap though :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
 
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What is with people and putting their penis in these random places? A shot glass, a DVD case? Why is your penis near any of these things.
 
HAS BEEN PUTTING HOT TOWELS ON HIS PENIS, & STRETCHING IT , TO MAKE IT BIGGER, SAW IT ON INTERNET-PENIS PAIN.

Lmaoooo
 
Rolaholic said:
WAS IN THE SHOWER WASHING HIS PENIS, HAD FORESKIN PULLED BACK, & GOT STARTLED, HE PULLED IT BACK FURTHER. PENILE FRENULUM TEAR

FELL IN SHOWER DIRECTLY ONTO ERECT PENIS. HEARD CRACK TO SITE.

View media item 721791
*Dead* @ the dude using a shot glass to fap though :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Click to expand...
Repped
That gif is the exact feeling I had for this thread
A+++++execution
2014 is starting off strong lol
 
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OLDER BROTHER & HIM HORSING AROUND WHEN SIBLING BIT PENIS.
Click to expand...
"Huh? Me & Bob were playing basketball, and Bob dunked on me. He was hanging on the rim, and his pants fell down. I was checking him close...and his penis might've uhh...just let me think. HOLD AND LET ME THINK!!!"
 
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