TAY: IT'S A MAN THING GINA

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alright for my ppl in long term relationships my chick said she's not happy, first response I give is well if I don't make you happy you're free to leave :lol: :smh:

she then explains that she's just not happy in general with her life (maybe depressed) and she's trying to pretend to be happy to keep her family together

she's been angry a lot lately quick to get upset or cry when I say anything, which is way out of the normal we make jokes all day

what to do? just stick around and wait for it to pass? give her space to handle her issues? I don't know .. we have a kid by the way

I'm lost on this one
 
heLiumcLinton said:
I'm lost on this one
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Do something nice for her. It won't completely make her happy, but it'll take her mind off of the bad stuff. And try to talk to her, find out what you can do to help. I think her telling you she's not happy is a good thing. Just take some time with her for that deep conversation.
 
Can't say i'm versed on relationships, but i've seen depression. That numbness where almost nothing makes you happy, even the things that should, then that depresses you further. Just be there for her, maybe some new experiences to get her mind off ****. Help her find some hobbies, take her to the gym with you. If she asks for space, give her space. Your first response was def the wrong one. It's probably really not you, it's her, and in the end there's not much you can do still she snaps out of it.
 
heLiumcLinton said:
alright for my ppl in long term relationships my chick said she's not happy, first response I give is well if I don't make you happy you're free to leave
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she then explains that she's just not happy in general with her life (maybe depressed) and she's trying to pretend to be happy to keep her family together

she's been angry a lot lately quick to get upset or cry when I say anything, which is way out of the normal we make jokes all day

what to do? just stick around and wait for it to pass? give her space to handle her issues? I don't know .. we have a kid by the way

I'm lost on this one
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Put yourself in her shoes, how would you wanna be treated in that situation? 

You don't have to try and fix anything but be there for her. Women want men in their 

life for support, comfort and stability. You giving her space doesn't fulfill any of those needs. 

At a time like this, with whatever she's going through, you need to be her escape from those stressors.

From time to time ask her how she's feeling, ask her what you can do to help. Show her that you care 

and that you're there for her. Take her out sometime without and without the kid. Amusement park, 

the movies, walk through the park. All those will help lift her spirits. 

MAtter fact, I'm sure if you bought some flowers and gave them to her "just because" she'll be in a great mood

I agree with @Mark Antony  , your first response wasn't the right one. 
 
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But what if he is a person that likes space to figure things out but also you don't want to be overbearing
 
mugen81 said:
Before my wife was pregnant, I remember she had a crazy work week. She would come home just grumpy, taking things out on me. I knew it wasn't her nature so I would just stare at her and laugh and walk off, boy that made her hot[emoji]128557[/emoji][emoji]128557[/emoji]
Anyway I was doing the normal, cooking, cleaning, etc and she still was on the ********.
Looked at her again with the nick young face, laughed and just ignored her like before. I'm like okay I know what to do. Thursday nights(I know they should have these nationwide) her favorite movie was playing in the park at night. Bet.
She came home, in a funk. I said not one word, threw her over my shoulder(this **** look like a kidnapping)[emoji]128557[/emoji]
Placed her in the car, I mean she is lit. Turned some Maxwell on while driving(one of her favorite singers), she started to chill a little.
She just starts talking and asking questions, stayed silent and just continued to drive.
Got to the park, took her heals off, put her Nike slides on and grabbed a blanket and a picnic basket I prepared from my ride. She just looking at me with the "you go boy " face[emoji]128516[/emoji]
Grabbed her hand, still silent, not saying a word. Laid the blanket down, prepared the food, had the white wine, **** was looking plush. So she just cuddles up to me and starts saying sorry, blah, blah, blah. Still I didn't say one word. The movie starts playing and she just breaks down and just looks at me.
"You remembered my favorite movie. Sometimes I just feel you don't listen because you are so stoic and hard to crack"
Still nothing from me, watched the movie, laughed, she cried and we went home. Ran a bath, the normal stuff. Wiped her down(word to Boozie) and gave her the best cunnilingus of her life and just went to bed. When I tell you The next three days she was on one, morning fellatio, night sex, cooking, letting me just do whatever[emoji]128557[/emoji][emoji]128557[/emoji]
I had to call in because she was just thirsty.
That long *** story was to say, sometimes just shut up and listen. Don't make it about your D. If you really dig her, cater to her but think outside the box. All any woman wants to do is talk, we as men like to fix it.
Stop right there.
Just listen and the little things she tells you will pay dividends in the end.[emoji]9996[/emoji][emoji]127999[/emoji]️
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Little bit of this plus what the others suggested =  
pimp.gif
 

You said you have a kid on the way so if she's pregnant, there's a combination with that. Try to think back about what things made her/you guys happy and revert back to that. Sit down and have a legit conversation with her and try to pick her mind if you can - allow her to let it all out on the table, maybe she'll feel better. 
 
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I suggested we take a vacation, drop everything and just get away. She was with it then texted me while I was at work last night on some "I'm just unhappy I don't think we should go because I don't want to ruin your vacation, I just need time to fix myself"

Which is understandable, I'm all for time and space to handle issues but we live together and have a kid .. where am I giving you space at? In my brain we suppose to do everything together

I agree my response was wrong but I got defensive because I literally do everything to make this chick feel appreciated and happy.

:smh: thanks for letting me vent bros
 
heLiumcLinton said:
I suggested we take a vacation, drop everything and just get away. She was with it then texted me while I was at work last night on some "I'm just unhappy I don't think we should go because I don't want to ruin your vacation, I just need time to fix myself"

Which is understandable, I'm all for time and space to handle issues but we live together and have a kid .. where am I giving you space at? In my brain we suppose to do everything together

I agree my response was wrong but I got defensive because I literally do everything to make this chick feel appreciated and happy.

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thanks for letting me vent bros
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Do you know what the problem is? On her end?
 
Suberzat1 said:
But what if he is a person that likes space to figure things out but also you don't want to be overbearing
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You have to def consider this. If someone wants space, give it to them. You can't force fun on someone that's just not into it at the moment.
 
heLiumcLinton said:
I suggested we take a vacation, drop everything and just get away. She was with it then texted me while I was at work last night on some "I'm just unhappy I don't think we should go because I don't want to ruin your vacation, I just need time to fix myself"

Which is understandable, I'm all for time and space to handle issues but we live together and have a kid .. where am I giving you space at? In my brain we suppose to do everything together

I agree my response was wrong but I got defensive because I literally do everything to make this chick feel appreciated and happy.

:smh: thanks for letting me vent bros
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At least she gave you advance notice. Some broads would keep it bottled in and then just up and dip or state they want to separate. I'd just take the kid out and do something with the kid and leave her to do her thing by herself.
 
Eh I don't think you handled it badly. Unless she gave you more specifics, unhappy is a pretty general term.

Not to put crazy ideas in your head but are you guys spending more time apart than normal? Does she seem distant? Some people say this but they're actually unhappy because they feel guilty about whatever they're doing behind your back...
 
Get the kid out. You and younger go outta town. Bond. Also file for custody. If she cant handle a stable family unit she probably cant handle raising that child by herself either.
 
heliumclinton heliumclinton IMO (Cause my own girl has "fallen out of love with me" once or twice and I have as well gotten cold to her a few times to be honest), she is just out of touch with herself and her emotions.

You mentioned she is trying to keep her family together as well as you guys have a kid. That probably doesn't even include other stresses she must be having. And all that stuff distracts her from herself and she isn't able to really think or make herself happy. Then she gets disconnected and she feels like she needs space, but that's only cause she needs to find herself again.

So I think that's what you should do, is help her get reconnected. Make her feel good about herself and try to help take her away from distractions so she can have moments to relax and get in sync with herself and you as well. It doesn't mean you should leave her alone. But it does mean you need to help her feel good, make her feel herself. It doesn't have to be a vacation. It could just be talking. But even small talk could lead her to bring out her feelings inside and know herself better as well as you knowing more her. She will communicate with herself as well when she can talk to you. That and time will definitely help as she gradually begins to feel like herself again. It's not about making her feel appreciated and happy now but it's more like making her feel/understand herself (?). poorly worded but you get it :lol:
 
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TBreeze said:
Do you know what the problem is? On her end?
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she never specified, she just said she isn't happy in general


Mark Antony said:
You have to def consider this. If someone wants space, give it to them. You can't force fun on someone that's just not into it at the moment.
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word I thought if I just act happy and brush off all her "unhappy" moments she'll snap out of it but it's a no go


TomDiginson said:
At least she gave you advance notice. Some broads would keep it bottled in and then just up and dip or state they want to separate. I'd just take the kid out and do something with the kid and leave her to do her thing by herself.
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True, that's a good suggestion maybe I'll just take my son on a weekend trip and let her rock.

mgrand15 said:
Eh I don't think you handled it badly. Unless she gave you more specifics, unhappy is a pretty general term.

Not to put crazy ideas in your head but are you guys spending more time apart than normal? Does she seem distant? Some people say this but they're actually unhappy because they feel guilty about whatever they're doing behind your back...
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nah I highly doubt it's something like this, we have very open communication and keep it 100 when it comes to scenarios like that so that's why I know it's something emotionally or mental


Don Adidada said:
Get the kid out. You and younger go outta town. Bond. Also file for custody. If she cant handle a stable family unit she probably cant handle raising that child by herself either.
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Sheesh bro :lol: I hope it doesn't come down to that

geraldg2309 said:
heliumclinton heliumclinton IMO (Cause my own girl has "fallen out of love with me" once or twice and I have as well gotten cold to her a few times to be honest), she is just out of touch with herself and her emotions.

You mentioned she is trying to keep her family together as well as you guys have a kid. That probably doesn't even include other stresses she must be having. And all that stuff distracts her from herself and she isn't able to really think or make herself happy. Then she gets disconnected and she feels like she needs space, but that's only cause she needs to find herself again.

So I think that's what you should do, is help her get reconnected. Make her feel good about herself and try to help take her away from distractions so she can have moments to relax and get in sync with herself and you as well. It doesn't mean you should leave her alone. But it does mean you need to help her feel good, make her feel herself. It doesn't have to be a vacation. It could just be talking. But even small talk could lead her to bring out her feelings inside and know herself better as well as you knowing more her. She will communicate with herself as well when she can talk to you. That and time will definitely help as she gradually begins to feel like herself again. It's not about making her feel appreciated and happy now but it's more like making her feel/understand herself (?). poorly worded but you get it :lol:
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Dope post bro I appreciate it

The vibe I'm getting from her is she doesn't even want the comfort, like someone said earlier that depression numbness where the things that are suppose to make you happy don't, and then you just get more upset that nothing works.

It's a struggle man, I'm just gonna take my son this weekend and let her rock. We can't all be unhappy otherwise this can get really bad.
 
^ I think what's more important than trying to comfort her is trying to understand her and don't take it personally. Understanding her will make her liberated and everything else follow. Have patience and hang in there bro. Happens to any relationship. It'll pass
 
TomDiginson said:
 
Don Adidada said:
Get the kid out. You and younger go outta town. Bond. Also file for custody. If she cant handle a stable family unit she probably cant handle raising that child by herself either.
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Suberzat1 said:
That seem over the top dude...
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My man jumped to deathcon 5
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This is my vision for the future. Just seen enough guys get screwed in a similar fashion in my fam to see where this is heading.

reddit.com/r/relationships has all the answers....unlike sway
 
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Guys serious question: how did you guys deal with prerejecting people?

Like I know I have a quirky personality so I what I do is I mentally reject people for I even try.

Like, I just assume they wouldn't be into what I'm into so I dont even give it a try.

Need to get my head out of it but I can't figure out how...
 
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