TAY: IT'S A MAN THING GINA

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@boo700gs  I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but that sounds like more than the typical relationship issues. I mean, at the end of the day-relationships are not easy. But there should def be more good times than bad, and def around holidays/birthdays. I kind of look like my girl as family, sure I get in fights with my family, but best believe around my bday and holidays we always show love. I feel like I'm willing to actually claim you, and put all the other p on the back burner- but we can't get along on my one special day for the year? IDK, my advice would be to drop her or straight up say I need some time. You can never find your next girl, when you have a girl you care for around.
 
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boo700gs said:
 
This is a vent post bc as much as I love my girl, I cant deny she is returning to her selfish ways. It was my bday this weekend and we were supposed to go out with friends.  She usually drives but she had came back from work and was feeling tired and wanted to rest first.  No biggie.  I call/text her about 2 hours before the party cause shes usually my ride but she goes MIA so I end up rolling there with my boy.  When she finally shows up I'm like yo why didnt you answer your phone?  She lives with her fam and says she had company.  I make no big deal of it and proceed to have a great time that night. No bday gift neither besides a ticket to a sports game that she took bc her brother was working that night.  To be fair, she has started  to pick up the check a lot lately and I feel like that was how she was giving me the gift but I mean, its still not the same especially when she had said "Oh I cant wait to give you a watch."  Forget the watch, can I get some sloppy top with no bickering?  Can you dress up and look hot for me on my bday instead of looking like a grandma?  Isnt your girl supposed to ride with you on your bday no less?

I've just been feeling ambivalent around her. 

Fast forward to today I told her I'd call her later after I got out of work and took the subway but get home and just kick it for an hour unwinding by myself. I missed a couple of her texts and she calls me 30min later being passive-aggressive.  Hounding me for why I didnt call like damn can a man do things on his own schedule.  Then she says she was mad that I got mad at her  this weekend for thinking she was intentionally ignoring my calls.  I told her listen whether it was intentional or not, you shoulda had your phone on you.  Its my bday, and we had plans, and you ****** up.  I had a reason to be mad but despite that, as soon as I told you about it, it was squashed and I didnt hold a grudge.   Why are you bringing this up against me?  

She put me in the worst mood when she brought it back up and  it just added insult to injury.  I'm not really excited about us in anyway. I do my best to be good to her bc she has a lot family stuff and its hard enough with both of our parents hating the significant other, but when shes not even really in it, whats the point?  I used to be a real loyal faithful guy before her, but now, I find the best thing that relieves my unhappiness towards her is to get to know other women and see what else is out there.
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Why waste each others time.  You sound very unhappy.  Just tell her you want to break up.

Protip: her wanting an explanation may sometimes be her way of trying to find a flaw in your logic so you wont break up with her OR that she can find something to throw back on you..just give a short reason like i don't love you anymore and keep it pushing
 
rayray3thousand said:
got the legal word from the mods that the book was a no-go
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damn forreal
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boo700gs said:
 
This is a vent post bc as much as I love my girl, I cant deny she is returning to her selfish ways. It was my bday this weekend and we were supposed to go out with friends.  She usually drives but she had came back from work and was feeling tired and wanted to rest first.  No biggie.  I call/text her about 2 hours before the party cause shes usually my ride but she goes MIA so I end up rolling there with my boy.  When she finally shows up I'm like yo why didnt you answer your phone?  She lives with her fam and says she had company.  I make no big deal of it and proceed to have a great time that night. No bday gift neither besides a ticket to a sports game that she took bc her brother was working that night.  To be fair, she has started  to pick up the check a lot lately and I feel like that was how she was giving me the gift but I mean, its still not the same especially when she had said "Oh I cant wait to give you a watch."  Forget the watch, can I get some sloppy top with no bickering?  Can you dress up and look hot for me on my bday instead of looking like a grandma?  Isnt your girl supposed to ride with you on your bday no less?

I've just been feeling ambivalent around her. 

Fast forward to today I told her I'd call her later after I got out of work and took the subway but get home and just kick it for an hour unwinding by myself. I missed a couple of her texts and she calls me 30min later being passive-aggressive.  Hounding me for why I didnt call like damn can a man do things on his own schedule.  Then she says she was mad that I got mad at her  this weekend for thinking she was intentionally ignoring my calls.  I told her listen whether it was intentional or not, you shoulda had your phone on you.  Its my bday, and we had plans, and you ****** up.  I had a reason to be mad but despite that, as soon as I told you about it, it was squashed and I didnt hold a grudge.   Why are you bringing this up against me?  

She put me in the worst mood when she brought it back up and  it just added insult to injury.  I'm not really excited about us in anyway. I do my best to be good to her bc she has a lot family stuff and its hard enough with both of our parents hating the significant other, but when shes not even really in it, whats the point?  I used to be a real loyal faithful guy before her, but now, I find the best thing that relieves my unhappiness towards her is to get to know other women and see what else is out there.
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First off, did you tell her about this - about how you're feeling? Did  you ever have a sitdown with her and try to have a heart to heart about what's going on in the relationship? Sounds like you're telling all the problems to the third party instead of going straight to the source. 
 
Needless to say, the book came home with me and I was in for what became an informative and interesting read. The authors, psychologist and zoologist David P. Barash and psychiatrist Judith Eve Lipton get straight to the point. Page two and I’m already reading, “..there is simply no question whether sexual desires for multiple partners is “natural”. It is. Similarly, there is no question of monogamy being “natural”. It isn’t.” Okay, I’m hooked and curious to find out more.

First up they explain social monogamy, the ability to share a one on one relationship based on social norms; living together, nesting together, foraging together and having sex together. However, when it comes to sexual monogamy, the findings offer an entirely different perspective. Research using DNA fingerprinting technology, (used in courtrooms to test DNA in humans), is now used to test parenthood in animals as well.

The results are surprising. Both male and female animals in nature practice sexual sharing with multiple partners, even in species previously believed to be monogamous. Like talk, sperm is cheap, so generally males of the species like to ensure their seed is spread around to guarantee that their lineage survives so they partner with many females. Females, to ensure they produce the strongest offspring possible, engage with multiple partners too. Hmmm. Social monogamy, yes. Sexual monogamy, no.

The research shows that sexual monogamy is much more an ideal than a practice. Across the species range, from birds, (who have always been considered mates for life), to chimps that closely resemble humans, sexual monogamy is not the norm.

Researchers have found that 10%-40% of all bird chicks were fathered by males who were not the mother’s social mate. Research also shows that females are equally likely to engage in extra pair mating. The reason is the same: evolution. Wanting to produce the best possible offspring, they each adapt their own ways to achieve this.

Scientists have studied 5,000 species of mammals and found that only 3 to 5 percent are known to form lifelong bonds with one mate. Among this small group are beavers, otters, wolves and foxes. And, even the species that do pair and mate for life, occasionally have flings on the side and are quick to find new mates if their old one dies or can’t perform sexually any longer. So much for “forever.”
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Comparing humans, the most intelligent species on this planet to otters, great :smile:
 
By nature it seems that humans are naturally polygamous. Although polyandry, a marriage of one woman to many men is rare, polygyny, the marriage of one man to many women is widely practiced in human societies. Humans, in fact, possess certain characteristics typical of non-monogamous species. Monogamous species are also monomorphic – meaning both males and females are the same size. Polygamous species are dimorphic- the male is larger than the female. Guess what comes next. Because human males are typically 10 percent taller and 20 percent heavier than females, it seems that humans have been mildly polygamous throughout history.

So, why did the authors write the book? Not, as some may think, to say that because it isn’t natural for humans to be monogamous, it is okay to have affairs and have multiple partners. The real reason, which they state over and over again, is to shed light on the fact that monogamy is difficult.

Since it is not natural for humans and our instinctual desires have a tendency to lead us astray, we have a responsibility to put in a conscious effort to practice what we have committed to. Monogamy requires work. If we continue to pretend it’s natural, it’s easier to be led down the path that often leads to infidelity.

Adultery is undisputedly a hot topic, just check the media on any given day. In the last few years, there have been very public new cases permeating the news. From Arnold Schwarzenegger for his love child revelation, to Ashton Kutcher and Tiger Woods for their infidelities, the media attention continues to confirm that monogamy is an emotionally charged issue. Rarely is the biological perspective included as a way of understanding it.

The authors leave us with the following. “This is not to say that monogamy – even happy, fulfilled monogamy – is impossible, because in fact it is altogether within the realm of human possibility. But since it is not natural, it is not easy. Similarly this is not to say that monogamy isn’t desirable, because there is very little connection, if any, between what is natural or easy and what is good.”
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leemelone said:
Don't hate me because I know what I'm talking about. To act like the desire for multiple partners is a new fad or some "sign of the times" type thing is flat out wrong
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the thing is with humans we have the knowledge and intellect to know that cheating and stuff ain't good. Other simple animals do not know that. Whether it's "natural" or not doesn't matter. If everyone just did what their instincts told em to do we'd be a far simpler species but we evolved due to not doing that
 
all other species but Humans and Dolphins have sex for purely reproduction reasons.
What you shared (which was an article about what someone read with no sources btw) even said they go with other mates to have the best offspring capabilities.

good try though randomly googling something (you didn't read nor study yourself) to prove a made up "fact".
 
Ballinsam23 said:
With that mindset you're gonna "cheat" on every single man you're with :lol:
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Personal growth is a beautiful thing meng.

Mark Antony said:
:smh: That's so illogical, maybe I didn't wanna know.
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How was my post illogical?
You asked me about my indiscretions and I told you. What's there not to get? We all do some unsavory ish, no denying that. Are you saying my "reasons" behind cheating are illogical? If that's the case I can't make excuses for my behavior. Who can at that point? I cheated because I wanted to and found a viable "reason" to do so. I tried to justify my ********. That's what humans do when they know they're a piece of ****.
 
How to stop being a minute man
I was on no fap for a week but relapsed on Friday.
Now I last seconds, help?
 
I thought frequent masturbation aided in a longer stint in the sheets?

someone chime in on this
 
Pepper said:
I thought frequent masturbation aided in a longer stint in the sheets?

someone chime in on this
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Exact opposite.. Think about it from a psychological standpoint.

You're going to hurt your peter if you sit there wacking at it for 10+ minutes.

You start and finish within 3 minutes most of the time.. Subconscious mind draws the parallel that orgasm should be achieved quickly so you can go about your biz.

Porn is mostly the culprit though. F_ you up, regardless if you're male or female, in a whole bunch of ways.
 
You should look into doing some tantric. You gotta retrain yourself from the ground up and cut porn out completely ... You don't need porn to be able to masturbate. Porn trains you to reach this state of hyper arousal, then as soon as you reach that state you climax quickly. While in real life you have to learn to maintain that state for as long as you can ( I can't thing of an analogy right now). Tantric will help because it teaches you how to lengthen and maintaining your peak arousal state but you'll have to be committed to doing so (i'm talking about months - years) to be able to retrain all the negative effects of porn watching.

Basically you'll have to learn how to delay gratification. There's also some physical sensations that porn trains your peen to do that leads to you climaxing early but I'm not gonna get into that
 
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this is the funniest page I've read in this thread for a minute... 

son's rant, the otters, wacking for stamina training... 

#TAY
 
So I'm on way to school cause there was this cure girl I wanted to talk to in my English Class.
On my way there, I fell off my bike and chipped my tooth and busted my lip.
Someone is trying to punish me for screwing girls over
 
Lolcomin said:
So I'm on way to school cause there was this cure girl I wanted to talk to in my English Class.
On my way there, I fell off my bike and chipped my tooth and busted my lip.
Someone is trying to punish me for screwing girls over
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damn son you gon be aright?
 
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