What It's Like To Be In An Interracial Relationship - A Dating Thread

Never been with anyone my own kind(Mexican) just cause of preference. My last real relationship was with a white chick who grew up in a conservative home. Both parents worked for law enforcement. We always found each other on opposite sides when having deep convos about anything. She really thought everyone in the United states went to preschool. Man was she sheltered. Looking back I don't even know how we lasted over 2 years lol. Before that I was with a Japanese chick but when we met we were on the same level. Things went south years later when she grew out of the fad that was my lifestyle. Thuggin it got played out as she got older I guess. Still I can't see myself ending up with a Hispanic girl. Smh at me.
 
Just saw this on yahoo, frontpage...:lol:


[COLOR=#red]Why 1 in 7 U.S. couples are “marrying out”
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Monique is African American and Native American, with a dash of Creole. Brian, who’s Caucasian, is as white as can be. But despite their visible differences, they still shared a lot in common — including a passion for food, Sunday football and watching Modern Family. This New Jersey couple found each other on Match.com, fell wildly in love, tied the knot and started a family. Back when Barack Obama’s parents took their vows, this was the stuff of scandal. Today, one in seven new marriages in the United States is between people of different races or ethnicities, according to analysis of U.S. Census data by the Pew Research Center.

These stats hold special meaning for online daters, who are casting wider nets in their search for the perfect match. People open to marrying outside their race or ethnicity “have a bigger pool to choose from, and it’s good to have more options,” says Brian G. from Hoboken, NJ, the first of 10 siblings to marry someone who doesn’t share the same ethnic background as his family. He admits that his mother was hesitant at first, but softened as soon as she met her future daughter-in-law. In fact, most Americans are cool with the idea of a family member “marrying out” — a phrase that now sounds almost moldy to modern ears. In fact, 6 out of 10 people interviewed for the Pew study said “it would be fine” with them if a family member announced plans to marry someone from any of three major races and/or ethnic groups other than their own.


[COLOR=#red]How culture and technology shifts are bringing more diverse couples together[/COLOR]

What’s behind this trend? Collapsing cultural taboos against intermarriage and major waves of immigration over several decades from Asia and Latin America are some of the major drivers. Then there’s the Internet effect; online dating and social media seem to bridge cultural chasms by emphasizing the importance of people’s thoughts, feelings and experiences over their physical appearance. “Technology has shrunk the world,” says Natalie Bencivenga, relationship expert and cofounder of twodaymag.com. “We no longer seem so alien to each other.”

Not surprisingly, the trend skews by region, showing lower numbers in southern and northeastern states, with higher numbers out west. Geographic differences notwithstanding, it’s still big news considering that, back in 1961 when Obama’s parents hooked up, the frequency of black and white mixed couples getting married comprised less than one in a thousand overall marriages.

“Couples seem to see their differences more as assets than liabilities,” explains relationship expert Joyce Morley-Ball, Ed.D. “They’re looking for emotional, psychological, spiritual, economic and social similarities instead of focusing on the negative stereotypes often attributed to racial differences.” Above all, Dr. Morley-Ball says, love trumps race.


[COLOR=#red]Five interesting facts about couples who are “marrying out”[/COLOR]

1. Among all the newlyweds interviewed in 2008, 31% of Asians, 26% of Hispanics, 16% of African Americans and 9% of Caucasians married someone different from their own race or ethnicity.

2. Between 1980 and 2008, intermarriages in the U.S. more than doubled. Rates more than doubled among Caucasians and nearly tripled among African Americans.

3. A record 14.6% of all new marriages registered in the U.S. in 2008 were between two people of differing different races or ethnicities. This includes marriages between Hispanics (which are an ethnic group, not a race) and non-Hispanics, plus marriages between people of different races, whether they were Caucasian, African American, Asian, Native American or people who self-identify as multiracial or “some other” race.

[COLOR=#red]4. There are a few striking gender differences. For instance, about 22% of all African American male newlyweds in 2008 married outside their race, compared with only 9% of African American females. Among Asians, the gender pattern is more dramatic, but reversed — 40% of Asian female newlyweds tied the knot with non-Asian men, compared with just 20% of Asian males marrying non-Asian brides.[/COLOR]

5. More than a third of adults say that one of their family members is currently in an interracial marriage. African Americans say this at higher rates than Caucasians do; the numbers include a larger percentage of younger adults than older adults, and more of them live in western states versus other areas of the country.

“The U.S. is getting to be more and more of a multicultural country. If you have biracial children, they will have plenty of company in most schools and neighborhoods,” says psychotherapist Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., author of The Commuter Marriage: Keep Your Relationship Close While You’re Far Apart. Obviously, it would be naïve to think all cross-cultural relationships are destined for smooth sailing. “Small towns, where segregation secretly lingers, make life — and schooling for your offspring — more difficult,” says Dorree Lynn, Ph.D., psychologist and coauthor of When the Man You Love Is Ill: Doing Your Best for Your Partner Without Losing Yourself. “There may be taunts and bullying. In-laws and family on both sides of the color spectrum may have difficulty accepting an ‘outsider.’ That sometimes results in family feuds and tension.” And if 6 in 10 respondents from the Pew study say they’re fine with a family member marrying outside their original race or ethnicity, it still means 4 in 10 respondents aren’t thrilled with the idea.

“If you haven’t done it before, it can be an adventure and a challenge,” says Tessina. “Couples learn to accept and appreciate each other’s traditions, foods, and also the more subtle emotional style of each others’ families. For instance, one family may think being loving is exactly what the other family finds terribly intrusive. One might value sharing and intimacy, while the other may value respect and privacy.” Lynn agrees, adding that “blending these styles isn’t easy, but the rewards are great,” and that mixed couples can boost their odds of long-term success by taking the following steps:


  • Be prepared for the possibility of unintended slights from those who may disapprove. Don’t take them personally.
  • If moving in together is on the horizon, try to choose a location that welcomes and accepts interracial and interethnic couples.
  • Consider any potential issues that you may face before you wed, hone your communication skills, and get counseling if you need it. Says Lynn, “Marriage requires effort, whatever shade of the rainbow you happen to be!”


Writer Debra Kent is the author of the Diary of V book series.

http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=12289&TrackingID=526103&BannerID=1919556




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A dash of creole lmao, and I only know one black person who is really part native american,
 
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This thread was supposed to be about love and celebrating happy cross cultural relationships.  Why is everyone fighting?
 
I get a kick out of people staring sometimes. I'll turn it up a notch and kiss her or grab her *** so the people watching can see. They get flustered and look away. Good times.
 
I only date interracial... don't care about society or cultural standards. The only way to end racism is through education and the best way for the population to care about another person's culture and/or ethnicity is if they are related to them in some manner. Just like how it's more accepting to be gay now... why? Cause they are not hiding anymore and families can actually learn about the homosexual lifestyle from their gay sons/daughters. Yes a good pct would probably dead their gay children but for the majority, they are accepting and it changes their whole perception which could also lead them to vote a certain way.

Mixed/interracial kids = our future!

i don't know about this idea that interracial relationships = the end of racism. look at brazil for example, its often viewed as the racial utopia where interracial relationships aren't taboo, and they go on about their racial democracy. all this really means though is that white people and black people are sleeping together and not feeling guilty about it, but the system remains viciously unequal, and brazil has one of the most unequal societies in the western world and black people are completely at the bottom. the brazilian political elite is completely white, where as the american political elite has been thoroughly integrated.
 
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i don't know about this idea that interracial relationships = the end of racism. look at brazil for example, its often viewed as the racial utopia where interracial relationships aren't taboo, and they go on about their racial democracy. all this really means though is that white people and black people are sleeping together and not feeling guilty about it, but the system remains viciously unequal, and brazil has one of the most unequal societies in the western world and black people are completely at the bottom. the brazilian political elite is completely white, where as the american political elite has been thoroughly integrated.

Yeah, a bunch of biracial kids isn't going to end "racism", that's silly to even say.

It'll just be about who's the lightest.
 
This was interesting. I wish the black girl could have touched more on why her mother made her feel the way that she felt.

 
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