powerful verse

a verse i wrote down.. it was so real so i had to record it 

look, it was just me and my brother growing up 

own daddy wasn't there so our aunty raised us 

wit my mom behind them bars nobody really gave a **** 

this life aint fair a ***** feel like giving up 

this music keep me going, its the reason why im here

to send my message from these sound waves to your ears 

something i learned over the years, 

its light not our darkness that give us our deepest fear 

im heart jet black,

my music just crack 

so when i feed the fans you know them ****** trailing back 

my mama paid for that crime and still aint snitch 

stupid ****** saying crime pays, don't know **** 

like nets on a court i was built for this rap **** 

spittin to my ******, yeah i made it a habit 

went from bench to startin, now im makin these classic 

funny how all this **** took was some practice 

and soon as i get on you ****** never go past me 

swear these rappers to sweet something like candy

im bout to breakout motha ***** like acne 

thanks for the feedback

Cool. Why was it so real though?

WorldGoneMad said:

Cool. Why was it so real though?

Click to expand...

nowadays with all these rappers lying in the raps aka rick ross i just felt like i kept it real on that verse 

not sure if you're asking for criticism, but if you are, i thought it sounded good. Only thing i would say is switch up your flow a little bit couple of the last lines had the exact same flow. other than that dope. 

Swoosh100 said:

 
not sure if you're asking for criticism, but if you are, i thought it sounded good. Only thing i would say is switch up your flow a little bit couple of the last lines had the exact same flow. other than that dope. 

Click to expand...

thanks you think im good enough to start recording at a studio 

any advice out there?