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Seems like the depreciation of marriage goes hand in hand with the increase of deadbeat dads and broken homes...smh
thoughts on having kids with no intention on marriage?
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This is what I'm trying to understand.
Having a child with someone = you have some type of bond with them FOREVER but people saying marriage is too serious?makes no sense
Once these broads biological clock starts ticking whatever semblance of logic or reason existed is out the window. Basically they don't have 5 years to put in a relationship just to "see" if this guy is the one. They need the kid now, asap, and everything else can fall into place, or not. At least the dread of never experiencing motherhood is gone. I can have a kid when I'm 50, these chicks be feeling like after 35 it's a wrap. Once they sniff 30 it's all out panic if they aren't already in a serious relationship.
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It takes two to tango bro, can't place all the blame on women rushing for families, because truth is, if a man is responsible and doesn't want a family he won't impregnate a woman no matter how desperate she is....tbh I don't blame females for hitting the panic button, 35+ they are considered high risk pregnancies, a lot can go wrong....as a man why would you want to wait till 50 to have a kid tho?...you gonna be 70 by the time homie goes off to college...lol
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minuswhale date somebody with kids then
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In a perfect world yeah, but it didn't happen that way. Our first kid was defiantly not planned.
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I mean yeah, outside of an accident, marriage or no marriage it's something both parties are gonna talk about and come to an agreement on. I was speaking more about this particular persons desire to rush a kid rather than the actualities of people going ahead and having the kid. I don't blame them either really, I wasn't trying to paint it as negative necessarily, it is what it is. That desire is strong and it can make women (people really) take some pretty drastic measures and do things they wouldn't otherwise do. Theres a big difference between not wanting to have a kid at 50 and not being able to. If you were concerned, as a man, with never experiencing parenthood you COULD still do it at 50.
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I don't plan on getting married by I do plan on having kids so I guess I agree with this
I'll always do everything I can for my kids and whoever their mother is but the idea of being with one person for the rest of my life is beyond depressing.
I'll always do everything I can for my kids and whoever their mother is but the idea of being with one person for the rest of my life is beyond depressing.
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These +
That biological clock and being too old to play with your children are very naive statements. Worry about YOUR future and YOUR well being. Not your child's. That is a whole different experience that takes all of a parents time, effort and funds. I'm not having children before the age of 39. I refuse to, I need to be well off financially, have a soulmate I know for years and know like my own body, and be able to take care of myself, my spouse and newborn child.
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I don't plan on getting married by I do plan on having kids so I guess I agree with this
I'll always do everything I can for my kids and whoever their mother is but the idea of being with one person for the rest of my life is beyond depressing.
So I guess you are ok with having a child with a woman, that woman then settles with another man, retains custody of your kids, now that other man has just as much if not more influence over your own kid than you do...you are perfectly ok with that, simply because you think is ok to have kids with a woman, but being "stuck" with that woman is beyond depressing...lol
Why get that woman pregnant intentionally if you don't have the slightest desire of even being with her for the long run....
Geeez people...
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Marriage is overrated. If I love you, I love you. There's truly no reason for an elaborate celebration that cost a **** ton of money.
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I'd do it if she's cool with it.
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Me and my girlfriend have a child together; I never really believed in marriage and always believed that as long as one is happy with their current situation why change that up. I can see me spending the rest of my life with her too; i guess it all depends on your outlook in marriage
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I think low key its not about spending the rest of your life with a chick ..dudes just don't want or care to have a wedding
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I understand NOT believing in marriage, I get it and respect it, what I don't understand is, not believing in committing fully to one chick, but thinking is perfectly fine to get her pregnant, like how childish and selfish is that ****
Likes bros, is it that perfectly acceptable for a child to grow up with step daddy?...damb
Likes bros, is it that perfectly acceptable for a child to grow up with step daddy?...damb
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Steezy..You sound hella ignorant. I don't give a damn who a step-daddy may be I will always be that child's father and be in their life 100% of the time. My parents divorced when I was 10 but my pops ALWAYS made it clear to never let no other fool try to act like he's my father or he'll show up with the quickness.
Y'all think marriage is the be all end all like the divorce rate ain't 50%. Fact is if you do your job as a parent and have a child with somebody who has a little bit of common sense it doesn't have to be as complicated as you think.
Y'all think marriage is the be all end all like the divorce rate ain't 50%. Fact is if you do your job as a parent and have a child with somebody who has a little bit of common sense it doesn't have to be as complicated as you think.
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we've been having this debate for the last ten years on NT. most the fools preaching this junk back then are married with kids.
most you gumps are getting married lol
most you gumps are getting married lol
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I sound ignorant because I promote a complete family?...what kind of logic is that?...I'm glad your dad finds a way to be present, but 100%??? Stop lying to yourself...
You have a kid with a woman, you leave her while the kid is fairly young, she meets another man, a good one at that, they end up settling, living together with YOUR child under the same roof, you really think that man won't have an influence over your child??....GTHO!! And I'm IGNORANT, how naive are you fam.
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A deadbeat dad is a deadbeat dad. Marital status should have no bearing on a man's responsibility to his seed. And why are the social ills of a society put on men? These men did not rape these women. More than likely if the man is deadbeat he was a deadbeat as soon she met him. A woman can lay down and make a baby with a man that aint bout nothing and will turn around and talk about how he aint bout nothing. She knew that from jump street. We never hold women responsible for their bad behavior. Instead we allow them to play the single mother card for their entire life. Sorry ladies, I don't feel sorry for you. If you thought more about your child you would have picked a more responsible man to be with.
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Getting married is nothing more than the gov't co-signing your relationship. I don't need the gov't stamp of approval. I'm good.
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My kids ain't having stepparents unless I die. Also my kids will never not live in the same house as I do.
I'm not having kids unless I'm married period.
Stuff happens but being a father is the most important thing will ever be in your life.
I'm not having kids unless I'm married period.
Stuff happens but being a father is the most important thing will ever be in your life.
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thats what im getting at, forget marriage, im talking about COMMITMENT!....a marriage can be dissolved just like a relationship can, just itll cost you more, but at the end of the day a marriage can end and ya can go in your separate ways, however you can just up and walk away from the mother of your child without some serious Ls taken, monetary and most of all emotional, specially for the child, what happens when you all of a sudden find THE ONE and decide to have a family with that woman and raise your children with that woman, you think the first child from your trial relationship wont grow up feeling a certain type of way??....you can say youll be there for that child as much as you are for the children in your successful relationship, but lets be serious, YOU WONT.....as long as your child is not under the same roof as you, you are not there 100%....another man will come and make it work with the woman you failed and raise YOUR child like his own and there is very little you can do about it.....pray is a good man, that wont abuse your seed....
and all for what??....why go through the risks??...through the emotional stress?....granted this can happen even if you are fully committed at the time of conception, as people change and love fades, but at least you were in the right mind when ya decided to have the baby, but to say "yo i can never see myself settling with you, but lets have a kid" SON, if thats how you feel....you need to neuter yourself.
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What if you want to put her on your benefits? Or if you die, and have no kids, your next of kin is your siblings/parents not the person you've spent all this time building with (common law exception of course). Not to mention possible tax benefits.
I just don't get dudes willing to put all this time, work and effort into chicks and make babies, but OMG MARRIAGE.
If you worried about divorce later, type up a pre-nup before hand, it isn't that big of a deal. If you're worried about a big, expensive wedding, don't get a big, expensive wedding.
If you scared, say you scared
I leave you this gem from Nasir Jones
aNYone
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^^^^^^^
you see da avy
Reped.
Reped.
superblytrife
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Wait, so dudes are purposely putting themselves into situations where they're going to have a "baby mama" off the top?
Why would you purposely create that headache for yourself? I understand unplanned pregnancies, but dudes are really seeking out that eventual drama-filled lifestyle?
Idiots. Not only are you ******* it up for yourself, but you're ******* it up for your kid who more than likely will have to live portions of their childhood without mom or dad present in the home. I come from a single mother home so I know that the products of those homes can and will be okay in the long run. But it does often add strain and stress on a kid to not have both parents present in the home. Knowing this, I can't see why anyone would purposely place themselves, and most importantly, their kids, in that situation.
Why would you purposely create that headache for yourself? I understand unplanned pregnancies, but dudes are really seeking out that eventual drama-filled lifestyle?
Idiots. Not only are you ******* it up for yourself, but you're ******* it up for your kid who more than likely will have to live portions of their childhood without mom or dad present in the home. I come from a single mother home so I know that the products of those homes can and will be okay in the long run. But it does often add strain and stress on a kid to not have both parents present in the home. Knowing this, I can't see why anyone would purposely place themselves, and most importantly, their kids, in that situation.
superblytrife
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You know that marriage isn't the celebration, right? That's called the wedding. And yes I agree...expensive, elaborate weddings are a waste. Unless of course someone else is footing the bill.
