idk what I want/what to do..

Hoping some older NT'ers can tune in and give me some much needed advice.

Going to try and keep it short.



Over the last few months Ive been all over the place mentally.

I moved to NYC from Florida last May, was super burned out from my life school(about 50 credits in)/work and basically not being happy where I was. I needed a break, I needed something new. Dropped out of school and spent every dollar I had to move here.

After living here for about a year, I am as lost as ever. Not the biggest fan of school, but after living here with no degree and surviving off waiting tables..I see that this is not a life anyone should want to live and I think its time for me to get back in school.

However..going to school and supporting my self financially out here would be super stressful, even more stressful then it already is.

Just about the only thing I want to do right now at 22 is travel and grow and experience life..figure out what in this world can make me happy.

So in order to get back in school and travel I'm left with a few options...Move back home to south fla to the life I didn't even want to live anymore..Move back to fla but upstate where I could live for dirt cheap, making school and travel the easiest(would also give me another "going away to school" experience did it at 18 but didn't take full advantage of it), ..Or stay in NYC/ or another major city back home like Miami and struggle with doing what I want/need to do just to live some where I want to live.


Now that you can see where my heads at...WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO BROS. I'm not asking for you to decide for me...I'm asking for advice from people who have been deeper into their lives journeys then me who can help me make the best choice.

Thank you.

Move back home with your parents (if they'll let you) go to school, get a degree, then move to where ever you want. You'll be more marketable.

Rico x Hood said:

Move back home with your parents (if they'll let you) go to school, get a degree, then move to where ever you want. You'll be more marketable.

Click to expand...

Yeah, moving back home to my moms house is an option(my mom would prolly love it)..but I know within a few months ill be dying to move out. Moving back there is honestly like the last thing I want to do on my list of what I should do.

^^^ I agree. OP your main focus should be on your degree so you won't have to struggle to live the life you want to live in the future. I'm 21 and I still live w/ my parents and I ******* can't stand it. I love my parents but I hate the location I'm in and I hate the people that surround me but I decided to stay with my parents till I graduate and get my degree so that when I move out I'll be able to move ANYWHERE I want to and enjoy my life because I'll have more than enough income coming my way. My life been boring since my freshman year in college because I haven't been able to enjoy myself due to focusing on school but I graduate next year so all that **** is about to change. Work Now, Play Later

got my degree last year. May '13 grad
had no idea what i wanted to do
neglected my body, neglected my health, fell into depression
moved to hawaii (through AmeriCorps) thinking "ill be in paradise! how could i not be happier"
my depression worsened bc now i multiplied my problems by loneliness and feeling stuck
its not about where you are. if youre not in a good "place" mentally, it doesnt matter where you are geographically
it sounds like you want to do the move to upstate FL thing. so thats what i reccommend
I'm 22. no idea WHAT THE **** i wanna do with my life.
but i like something that David Choe said yesterday on his podcast

"girls, when they're dating, they have things that guys have to posses, in order to be theirs- height, money etc
guys, we go through a process of elimination style when we're choosing something.
especially with girls-- 'ill never date a high maintenance girl again / white girls are crazy' etc.
well you have to do that with your job! you have a bunch of routes of possible careers, and you need to give them a try!
if you hate it, then you hate it, you cross it off, and move on, more knowledgeable about you and your ideal situation.
and it's not just-- 'oh , i don't like sales', but thinking about work environment / work /life balance, etc etc all that good ****"

its funny because my dad used to tell me the same thing. sometimes, though you need to hear it from somewhere else
my mom had 10 w-2s when she filed for taxes, the year after she graduated from college
thats what im aiming for, but not in one year
im working in a non profit now, and i'm learning about how i hate this whole ******* sector,
it's all bs, nobody gets anything done, there's 10 organizations that do the exact same thing that end up competing against each other
and i work in a 2 person office
thats relevant informaiton for my life! because i can keep building on what i dont like (and whati like) until i see what fits me

I would go to a school with a good study abroad/exchange program. You can see another country, earn credits (usually at least a C- will count), and they usually have scholarships that cover the cost.

I really appreciate the advice calikev.

I'm just now starting to realize how relevant that first part of your reply about being in a good place is to my situation.

The rest of it actually sounds a lot like what my mom always tells me. The trial and error of finding out what I need to do.

Bowflex said:

I would go to a school with a good study abroad/exchange program. You can see another country, earn credits (usually at least a C- will count), and they usually have scholarships that cover the cost.

Click to expand...

Yeah It's something Ive thought about in the past and is something ill have to look into when I get back in school.

if i were you, id stay in NYC and try to go to school...no idea what the residency reqs are but after being there for a year, check if you qualify for city/state tuition rates...

i hated being a student too but being a student afforded me certain opportunities with internships. the whole classroom/homework thing sucked but it ended and i was able to work...

however, i ended up in a job that is very unsatisfying and find myself VERY bored for most of the day...

NazDrowie said:

if i were you, id stay in NYC and try to go to school...no idea what the residency reqs are but after being there for a year, check if you qualify for city/state tuition rates...

i hated being a student too but being a student afforded me certain opportunities with internships. the whole classroom/homework thing sucked but it ended and i was able to work...

however, i ended up in a job that is very unsatisfying and find myself VERY bored for most of the day...:\

Click to expand...

Nyc isn't always the answer, and definitely not for someone that hasn't finished school and not enjoying their current situation in nyc. Personally, I wouldn't live in nyc making minimum wage or anything less than 60k realistically. All of that money will be spent just getting by and you'll be renting apts your whole life.

Go home. Focus on school. Save money from the p/t job. Intern for a company/field that interests you in a city that you want to be in, then move. Too many people people run off on that dollar and a dream bs and fall flat on their faces. Life is chess not checkers my friend. Think it out.

AceBoogie said:

Nyc isn't always the answer, and definitely not for someone that hasn't finished school and not enjoying their current situation in nyc.

Personally, I wouldn't live in nyc making minimum wage or anything less than 60k realistically. All of that money will be spent just getting by and you'll be renting apts your whole life.

Click to expand...

depends on how comfortable a person is with certain living situations...at 22, living cheaply/with others didnt bother me...

i lived in an expensive city for college (DC) and lived off campus my senior year with 3 other housemates...between class, work, and social activities, i hardly noticed them and vice versa

and nothing wrong with renting...i dont plan on owning (not bout that maintenance life)

...but true on living in New York on minimum wage, thats not easy, even probably living in cheap(er) areas

What were you studying/what do you want to study OP?

Personally if I was in your situation, I would move back home (to FL with a roomie or with moms) and finish school FT while working a decent amount of hours to save up. That way when you graduate in a timely manner you'll have options career-wise (degree, networking, etc) and also have a little bread saved up to facilitate a move back up north by yourself or with a roommate and will be able to live a little more comfortably.

You're young man. A lot younger than you think. You have plenty of time to "experience life." It's good to put a little pressure on yourself for motivation, but you don't want to OD on it.

I'd say your best bet is to move back home OP. You might not like it, but sometimes the most sound advice is something you don't want to hear at the moment. Go home, go back to school, and finish up. You'd be less stressed and you can focus more on your studies. It's funny how society says you have to be out at a certain age, but you should be on your own when you can fully support yourself. NYC is def a pain to live in, and def not a place to be when you are working min wage (I don't know how you do it man). Hell, I been thinking about moving myself. NYC is starting to really irk me. 

Gotta agree with everyone in this thread, especially seeing as how we basically came to the same revelation of not being able to stand those absolute **** entry level jobs. Move home, go to school, only work if you feel like you really need the money, and just complete school. I would hold off on all the travelling until you graduate, as you're 50 credits in and if your uni has the same reqs as mines you only need 60 more credits to get that degree. Just 2 years, you'll still be a young dude and you'll actually be able to afford to travel if you land a half-decent gig as a bachelor @ your age.

i dont understand why everyone is so cought up with getting a degree

i dont have a degree and im still making it out here

moved back home from DC due to parents getting old and needed some taking care of.

Im in the IT industry and with experience you can fly where ever and get $$ too

you need to buckle down and hit what ever industry you have a niche for.

for me it was IT and all you need is certs and work experience and you can flourish.

Dont get yourself tied up on a rich man education if thats not for you.

but at the end of it all its your life..

just chiming in some advice..good luck playa.

Rafkin Johnson said:

i dont understand why everyone is so cought up with getting a degree
i dont have a degree and im still making it out here

Click to expand...

Congrats, I guess the world would be better if everyone stopped focusing on degrees and follow your lead. Right?

Rafkin Johnson said:

 
i dont understand why everyone is so cought up with getting a degree

i dont have a degree and im still making it out here

moved back home from DC due to parents getting old and needed some taking care of.

Im in the IT industry and with experience you can fly where ever and get $$ too

you need to buckle down and hit what ever industry you have a niche for.

for me it was IT and all you need is certs and work experience and you can flourish.

Dont get yourself tied up on a rich man education if thats not for you.

but at the end of it all its your life..

just chiming in some advice..good luck playa.

Click to expand...

That's all good and well, but you're projecting man. What you did works for YOU. There are many paths to success, neither of them better than the other. 

Keeping it funky, a degree is a piece of paper saying that you went to school. Doesn't necessarily speak you your level of competence and intelligence. Plenty of educated fools out here. 

OP what was your major? Maybe you should try a different one this time around so you'd like being in school. Move back home for it as well. Eliminating rent will be a Godsend plus you'll have instate tuition. If you have to work to work PT while in school, try doing a work study program. Easy as hell, usually have enough time to get course work done, and you get to meet more people.

Nowadays a bachelor's degree doesn't guarantee anything. A degree without a true sense of passion or motivation isn't going to cut it. Passion is also unlikely to cut it without the requisite credentials either. So, you have parallel goals right now. Earn your degree (what it's in is less important - unless you are pursuing a technical field, your major needn't correspond to you eventual area of work; employers don't really care). At the same time, experiment. Get out of your comfort zone. A study abroad program would be a great option. You have to find what will motivate you to really get after it.

People always like to talk about travel, but that's a luxury that most people don't have. You need to find things that inspire you, but also have a practical application. Backpacking across Europe isn't going to do that for you.

If you don't like school, one of the most important things to do is to discover your passion. Not all paths require a traditional academic background - maybe you need different (technical) schooling, maybe it's more important to get your feet wet and jump into the industry and prove your worth by "do-ing." But, until you can confirm the path to success in your desired field, I'd suggest gritting through the school thing. Don't abandon plan A without a well-formed plan B.

But, just remember, your motivation and work ethic will be huge drivers of how far you go. I literally know kids who earned degrees from Harvard who couldn't get entry level office jobs... because they didn't actually go after what they wanted.

Living situation-wise, I would seek out the option that leaves you with the smallest financial burden. The more you're responsible for, the more you constrain your options to try different things, and hence restrict your ability to find what lights your fire. If you try to take everything on now, you are likely to get caught into the cycle of simply doing what you need to pay the bills, which often leads to people accidentally falling into a life they didn't choose before they even realize they did so.

You are still young enough; you aren't totally behind the eight ball, but these next two or so years will be pivotal.

Rafkin Johnson said:

i dont understand why everyone is so cought up with getting a degree
i dont have a degree and im still making it out here
moved back home from DC due to parents getting old and needed some taking care of.
Im in the IT industry and with experience you can fly where ever and get $$ too
you need to buckle down and hit what ever industry you have a niche for.
for me it was IT and all you need is certs and work experience and you can flourish.
Dont get yourself tied up on a rich man education if thats not for you.
but at the end of it all its your life..
just chiming in some advice..good luck playa.

Click to expand...

The thing is, he already enrolled in school and got started. If he had extenuating circumstances that prevented him from going to school, that's one thing.

But dropping out with no plan just because "I don't need college, blah blah" isn't a good move.. if you have the opportunity to go to school and get that degree, you take it, especially if you don't have anything else going on (and no offense OP, but clearly you have nothing else going on- don't lie to yourself it only makes it harder )


OP I'm 22 also, I've been in a similar situation as you. The thing I realized, at some point you have to get your head out of the clouds and just face the situation in front of you. If you're always looking for the easy way out, you're never gonna be happy because sometimes there isn't an easy way out. Instead of looking for the situation that will make you most comfortable, look for the situation that will give you the greatest opportunity to grow as a person. Going back to school, putting yourself in academic/professional environments, and getting that degree is going to help you grow as a person and down the line you'll be grateful for the experience. Don't worry about what you're gonna do after. Just take that first step to apply to go back to school, and commit to finishing your degree. Once you do that your mentality will change and your personal sense of confidence will increase, that personal confidence is the most important thing. When you have confidence, you start to see more opportunities available to you that you wouldn't have seen otherwise.