married or committed nters.....when did u realize she was the ONE

Supermanblue79 said:
Married: 7 years, Together 13 Years

You know that she is when you have someone that you have built a real relationship with. Someone that you can trust, that you are attracted to physically, mentally, and spiritually, the same sense of humor, has the same ethics and moral code, supports you in the good things that you pursue, and cares enough about you to be honest no matter how it makes you feel, forgives, and is that person that you cannot be apart from...a true friendship.

Find this and you have the one. Take a few years to build, see one another really angry, go through some losses, financial struggles, and if necessary some time apart. If you both can work though all of this and still have the true friendship, then you've got it.

It's hard work. The key is realizing that you are no different than any other man, and are capable of the same mistakes than any other man can make. You have the same male default program as any other man. This applies to her also. What makes you a "good man" and she a "good woman" is discipline and integrity. Discipline and Integrity are those things that keep you honest and focused not only when she's around, but when no one else can see you.

Good luck OP.
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Everything you stated was well put especially going through financial struggles and finding each other with time apart.
Gotta disagree with realizing that im no different than any man though. With my wife and her only, I try my best to to be the most unique, patient, smartest, craziest, hard working, best looking, humorous dude she will ever meet or know.
With that said I set my value to an extreme to wear she knows that the front door is open when we bump heads but she ain't going no where.

Together since 99
Married since 02
 
I got all the fun out of the way, part of it is timing and part of it is finding someone you just really love and mesh with

I've been with my new girl for 6 months and I am certain she is the one; you kind of just know

so my the best advice I can give to my younger dudes is...GET ALL THE "FUN" OUTTA YOUR SYSTEM
 
Married 7 years together 11 years

Like many of the nt fam said there isn't a such thing as the "one", it's a process. It takes compromise, and I feel like you have to go through some things in order to really get a feel for who you are dealing with. Is she honest? Is she driven? Do both of you has the same family goal? Is she down with you? Are you sexually compatible? These are just some of the many questions that get answered in one form or another when trying to decide if the girl you are with is worth having your last name.

On the flip side, are you actually putting forth the effort to be marriage material? It goes both ways. It's really not as complicated as people make it
 
Supermanblue79 said:
Married: 7 years, Together 13 Years

You know that she is when you have someone that you have built a real relationship with. Someone that you can trust, that you are attracted to physically, mentally, and spiritually, the same sense of humor, has the same ethics and moral code, supports you in the good things that you pursue, and cares enough about you to be honest no matter how it makes you feel, forgives, and is that person that you cannot be apart from...a true friendship.

Find this and you have the one. Take a few years to build, see one another really angry, go through some losses, financial struggles, and if necessary some time apart. If you both can work though all of this and still have the true friendship, then you've got it.

It's hard work. The key is realizing that you are no different than any other man, and are capable of the same mistakes than any other man can make. You have the same male default program as any other man. This applies to her also. What makes you a "good man" and she a "good woman" is discipline and integrity. Discipline and Integrity are those things that keep you honest and focused not only when she's around, but when no one else can see you.

Good luck OP.
Click to expand...

Wish I had more reps fam!
 
Humph.....

Been thinking on making a similar thread called...

"Married NT'ers....When do you realize it's time to dead it"
 
Married: 14 years, Together 24 Years ...

my uncle always told me " u know she's the one when u can talk to her while she's takin a sh*t " and vice versa.

no one can help u figure it out. you'll know when u both make the little compromises. things like her watching a game with u or u waiting while she gets her nails done. sucks cause most of us are forced into our relationships cause kids came in the picture. kids are the ultimate hammer in a relationship, make or break em. we either stick around and man up or bounce cause we just ain't ready for that commitment . i can't even front myself, if my wife ain't get pregnant with my first daughter we wouldn't have made it this far. my wife's a pain in the *** but then again which woman ain't. if u can deal with her and she's good in the sack, you're good money.

i rambled enough, i'm gonna go and have sex now ...
 
I can't even list all of the ways that my girlfriend has shown me that she is the one. Looking back, I got married the first time for all of the wrong reasons. What I have now I wouldn't trade for anything or anyone. We had a friendship before a relationship and that developed over 7 years. I can't name one moment, but even when I first met her and couldn't have her, I knew that she was exactly what I wanted and needed and I barely even knew her. There was always something there.
 
How do you know?
It just hits you one day that I really love this woman.
And you love her despite anything that gets under your skin about her.
Because dont get it twisted, even if a woman is "perfect" or "the one" in your eyes, there will be PLENTY of things that she does that gets on your last MF nerve.
But you still love her, because the goods far outweigh the bads

My girl inspired me to write a song called "The One" when I realized I love her. (inspiration comes in many ways)
I think the 2nd verse explains it well:
"The One"
Verse 2:
There something that I cant explain / That happens when you are around
I feel it deep inside of me / I know that we're supposed to be
I trust you more than anyone / You are the heart and soul of me
When Im with you I am complete / I'll love you for infinity
Where would I be in my life? / Without you here by my side
I'll stand by you through anything
Girl Im so glad I know you're the one.

Sounds corny AF but if you feel this way about your girl. She is the one.
 
Mayne yaw give these women too much credit. Some of yaw sound like you care more about the girl then you do yourself
 
When attractive women wanted to **** me and even though I knew she would never find out I still couldn't smash them.
 
Superb said:
Mayne yaw give these women too much credit. Some of yaw sound like you care more about the girl then you do yourself
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Some of us have found true love. What you fail to understand is that our women also care more about us than they do themselves. You're still searching for this, so I don't expect you to understand.
 
Superb said:
Mayne yaw give these women too much credit. Some of yaw sound like you care more about the girl then you do yourself
Click to expand...
I

Being able to find the right woman you know would hold you down in a time of need, respect you and take care of your family IS CARING ABOUT YOURSELF.

IMO you must not care about yourself if you lead a life of ME ME ME ME ME...because you will always reach the end of the tunnel, things that made you happy will lose their charm, WE GET OLD....and honestly there is nothing sadder than growing old ALONE.
 
What do you do when y'all's wife is being stingy with the box? I'm talking 3 weeks stingy
 
Listen to big Sean's "love story"

If you can think about her while the song is on, and not cry..

She's not the one...
 
it's also important to grow together.

people will change.

you're not the exact same person when you're 25, 30, 40, etc.

You have to grow with your significant other.

Timing can be very important. Both needs to be in that set of mind that it's time to settle and everything.
 
jjs136 and Steezy are spot on

JTPlatnum said:
an older lady once told me...'when you're girlfriend [wife] is being a b*****, be a b***** right back.'
Click to expand...
Did she tell you how many years she had been alone? There was a great post by 1stWitIt that said that marriage is sometimes 80/20 or 70/30 which is spot on. This is one of those times.

FlyNY said:
What do you do when y'all's wife is being stingy with the box? I'm talking 3 weeks stingy
Click to expand...
Been there for a week, but never 3 weeks. That sounds rough. You need to start the foreplay early...giver her a compliment just as she finishes getting ready, tell her how sexy she looks when she exists the shower, give her a smack on the but on your way out from work...start early. Give her a call before her lunch break to let her know you are thinking about her, text her a a wedding pictures of you two...make her think about why you two are together all day before she gets home. Wash the dishes or vaccum the floor every now and then, take her on a simple date night for fast food and a walk, bring a flower home. It's the little things like this that open the box.
 
Last edited:
So lemme ask this becausei hear it a lot.

"Happy life happy wife"

Or

"What's mine is hers and what's hers is hers"

What's good with that? Is the entire direction of the commitment based on her happiness alone?

I tend to get this vibe from cats that feel they don't have an option for anything else...

Me personally... I don't believe that ****
 
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