Thinking you're unattractive, but you're actually very attractive to the opposite sex

girlslovewaffles

girlslovewaffles

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I've been thinking about this - what makes someone think they're attractive?

Do they think they're attractive because they like the way they look in the mirror? Or do they think they're attractive because of all the attention they get from other people? Strangers being nice, getting free stuff, dating a lot and often, etc.
 
Confidence isn't always about physical appearance. I think it's mainly about knowing what you're good at and what your lane is. It's broke dudes with no jobs, can't dress and wouldn't be considered attractive, but they've got nice looking chicks because they got a mouthpiece. Running game is one of the most valuable traits to have.
 
sooperhooper said:
Confidence isn't always about physical appearance. I think it's mainly about knowing what you're good at and what your lane is. It's broke dudes with no jobs, can't dress and wouldn't be considered attractive, but they've got nice looking chicks because they got a mouthpiece. Running game is one of the most valuable traits to have.
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So you're saying that attractiveness comes down to confidence, in a nutshell?
 
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at work I see hundreds of people. I've seen a lot of average/overweight/no style/ or bummy looking dudes with some cute/hot chicks.
 
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Difference in attractiveness between men and women.

I'm a regular looking dude... There are hurdles that I won't be able to climb that Idris Elba just ain't gotta worry about it...

But I maximize and sometimes over achieve if its based on my looks...

As a man... The PERFECT combination of humility + confidence + swag will have you landing a LARGE range of women...

Of course there will be some you just won't get though...
 
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I think society sets a sort of physical baseline. So having clear skin, looking healthy in weight (not necessarily skinny), free of deformity, etc...

once you're past the evolutionary selection barriers, its all confidence and compatible personalities. A girl can totally look past you, but then you guys hang out with friends or whatever and seeing you as a fun guy who seems alpha around friends will completely flip the script.
 
It's all about knowing your targets/game also. It's gotta be a special chick for me to randomly approach her in a mall or ata club, but in a closed setting like hanging with friends or a training class, I FLOURISH. I'm kinda shy in public settings like clubs and bars, but I thrive in close personal settings, I mean NO fear, and chicks love it. It's crazy how night and day it is, i don't understand it myself.
 
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Confidence truly is the ultimate currency.
If you are confident in yourself you can literally do anything.
"He who says he can and he who says he can't are both right."

Interestingly enough, confidence seems to be multi layered. I'm very good looking (by American society's standard, I am tall dark handsome with 10% bf and a dope jawline). The projection of what I see in the mirror is an image that I am very content with. But why am I content with it? Is it because I'm 6'3" and fit with a strong jaw and everyone outside of myself has told me that's what matters? Sadly the answer probably is yes. So , the attention that one receives determines where or not that person thinks they're attractive. And what the see in the mirror is usually graded on what others have determined to be of value in their society. It's really sad how much power we yield to those whose judgements do not matter.

But I would say that GOD MODE level of confidence is rooted in something completely separate.
Affirmation and self actualization area level that very few people reach.
To know what you want to become and do exactly that. And at that point, you know what you are and you know what you're not so "can't nobody tell you nothin".
I'd argue less than 1% reach this level.
These are people like Malcom X that are so grounded in a belief in themself that you HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO BELIEVE EVERY WORD THEY SAY.
It's nuts man. Conviction cannot be faked. Humans have an innate sense for detecting that which is natural and that which is artificial.
These people like Malcolm are so undeniably powerful bc their True nature their soul shines and that what gives ppl an aura. The human soul , the brain too if you're not a dualist, is the most powerful resource on earth.
He was grounded in spirituality and thst what made him seize his full human potential.

So to answer your question. What makes someone believe they are attractive?
How much value they see themselves.
Sometimes it's rooted in what people outside of themselves have deemed to be important. This is basic and superficial and really not worth much.
The supreme level of confidence comes from valuing yourself with the scales and ideas that you have determined to be important. Usually this has a spiritual foundation.
 
girlslovewaffles said:
So you're saying that attractiveness comes down to confidence, in a nutshell?
Click to expand...

[COLOR=#red]It's both a multiplier and a diminisher. A guy that's a solid 6.5 can pull 8's easily if he projects that he's worthy of said 8. That same guy is stuck chasing 5s if he has an aw shucks, "would you like to go out" type demeanor.

To go against Calikev to a degree, I think it's really about what you project to everyone else, but you don't necessarily have to agree with it yourself. Perception is reality, so to other people who observe you they take your outward appearance, they way you carry yourself, etc. as the spoken truth. All my life I struggled with self-esteem, low-confidence, depression etc. until I realized that the best way to predict the future is to create it. Even if I didn't personally believe in myself or think that I deserved something, I put it out to the world that I did and no one ever called my bluff.

Even right now, I'm in a horrible position financially and them ends are perfect strangers who won't ever meet each other. But I pulled an INCREDIBLE young woman, off POF of all places, and things have been going great. Once I've been in the fold long enough and know I have her hooked, I'll open up a little more about my situation, but for now she's just infatuated with the persona and aura that I radiate. [/COLOR]
 
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girlslovewaffles said:
I've been thinking about this - what makes someone think they're attractive?

Do they think they're attractive because they like the way they look in the mirror? Or do they think they're attractive because of all the attention they get from other people? Strangers being nice, getting free stuff, dating a lot and often, etc.
Click to expand...
i think im unattractive because usually the girls i REALLY like dont like me back, but i get a lot of bad ones still d-ridin me, so i know im at least not ugly

and people always tell me i should model, but i dont think all models are attractive
 
Fontaine said:
Difference in attractiveness between men and women.

I'm a regular looking dude... There are hurdles that I won't be able to climb that Idris Elba just ain't gotta worry about it...

But I maximize and sometimes over achieve if its based on my looks...

As a man... The PERFECT combination of humility + confidence + swag will have you landing a LARGE range of women...

Of course there will be some you just won't get though...
Click to expand...

Swag is for boys, class is for men
 
I would say confidence come from two places.

External confidence, which comes from people's praise and admiration.  Usually more fleeting and you always need more to maintain it.

Internal confidence, comes from the inside.  Once you have it, it's always there.  You just know who you are and what you want.  If you aren't there you seek to get there.

That's the stuff that never leaves you.

Once you reach internal confidence you are unstoppable.
 
360waves said:
Fontaine said:
Difference in attractiveness between men and women.

I'm a regular looking dude... There are hurdles that I won't be able to climb that Idris Elba just ain't gotta worry about it...

But I maximize and sometimes over achieve if its based on my looks...

As a man... The PERFECT combination of humility + confidence + swag will have you landing a LARGE range of women...

Of course there will be some you just won't get though...
Click to expand...

Swag is for boys, class is for men
Click to expand...

**** are you tumblr *****? Context is for all.
 
Im just a laid back dude, Im tall an confident. I don't really judge my looks. I just like to have a haircut. clothes don't matter to me, I like sneakers but I don't wear them for props. I've gotten many girls and never had a problem, If I had to judge myself facially, Im a 8 or 9 easily, but Im not perfect, I just have the right combo of everything overall.

My lady friend finds some dudes whom I would consider UGLY attractive, hell almost every dude she's pointed out to me, I would consider ugly. I just don't find dudes attractive or care to either. but she has terrible taste imo. I consider myself way outta the guys she finds attractive league. (she likes chubby dudes with balled heads) smfh. When I eat and drink a lot I get a gut and she likes to call me fat (which im farrr from) , and once I got a bad cut done by myself and I decided to ball my head and she still talks about how cute I was. Im like ***** it aint eem about to happen...

Im The TOTAL opposite.
 
Don Adidada said:
I would say confidence come from two places.

External confidence, which comes from people's praise and admiration.  Usually more fleeting and you always need more to maintain it.
Click to expand...

You just described 90% of social media, seem confident on the outside but you can still see the insecurities based off their actions


Internal confidence = idgaf attitude, not trying to impress or compete with anyone, just doing you
 
Hmm...I don't think I'm all that "attractive," just as a raw physical attribute. I'm listed at 6'4"(
laugh.gif
), chicks dig the beard and I ain't a bad looking guy overall, but I don't know if I'd be all that successful if I just tried to go off what I looked like...the "8th year college student with bronze locs and beer padding" look isn't for everybody.

I don't "dress well," preferring football jerseys and superhero shirts, I'd rather have a burger than a $80 plate, and I even wear a Power Morpher outside sometimes...the cover of GQ, I ain't.

Physical attractiveness can always be supplemented with personality points. My gimmick is being a smart, witty guy with a unique worldview and a love for our language, and that has attracted its share of interested parties. I'm also a writer, and I'm finding in my adulthood that that isn't a bad card to play either.

The thing that I think serves me best is just being myself, that way I only attract the kind of people that like me.

Other than that, CaliKev pretty much ended my turn. That man gets it.
 
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It all comes down to confidence and doing the opposite of what the majority of people do. Projecting confidence attracts people to you.

I'm relatively good looking, dress well, come off as educated when having conversations with others and confident in my abilities.

For example, how do you get the hot girl you see at the bar? You do the opposite of what other guys do. You don't pay her attention and act like you've been with hotter girls even if you haven't. Instead give your attention to her ugly friend. Make her think you find her ugly friend more attractive. This will make her want you more because she's used to dudes hitting on her and buying her drinks. People want what they can't have.
 
d e beatup said:
[COLOR=#red]It's both a multiplier and a diminisher. A guy that's a solid 6.5 can pull 8's easily if he projects that he's worthy of said 8. That same guy is stuck chasing 5s if he has an aw shucks, "would you like to go out" type demeanor.

To go against Calikev to a degree, I think it's really about what you project to everyone else, but you don't necessarily have to agree with it yourself. Perception is reality, so to other people who observe you they take your outward appearance, they way you carry yourself, etc. as the spoken truth. All my life I struggled with self-esteem, low-confidence, depression etc. until I realized that the best way to predict the future is to create it. Even if I didn't personally believe in myself or think that I deserved something, I put it out to the world that I did and no one ever called my bluff.

Even right now, I'm in a horrible position financially and them ends are perfect strangers who won't ever meet each other. But I pulled an INCREDIBLE young woman, off POF of all places, and things have been going great. Once I've been in the fold long enough and know I have her hooked, I'll open up a little more about my situation, but for now she's just infatuated with the persona and aura that I radiate. [/COLOR]
Click to expand...


If what you project, if what you show the world, if what you give the world isn't genuine then what's the point?
"Faking it ti you make it" is partly self-refuting, because if you hear something enough times you will start to believe it...
For example, for the next 30 days, first thing in the morning you spend 5 minutes in the mirror telling yourself how dope you are.
If you're uncomfortable at first (you will be) are you truly "faking" it? I think deep down you know you're the ish but we get beat down everyday, told what to do and hurt by people in very small ways that add up to a chronic feeling of worthlessness.
We really are all golden million dollar babies that have been lied to and devalued our entire lives, but once again if you hear something enough you start to believe it.
I aim to get back to my inner child full of potential because that to me is empowering. It's also rare in today's world to seize that.
"We don't get the tests that one needs in order to gave personal sovereignty. So, you've got to impose those tests on yourself."

I have an issue with the idea of "faking" anything.
I don't like the way a lot of guys have reduced love/dating/sex/women into a science. I think it's disgusting. I'd rather never get another girl for the rest of my life than be calculating and a tactician.
It nauseates me when intimate spaces are violated by formality.
Love is the most pure and most important gift we have been given. I hate to see it's sacred turned into profane.
 
Don Adidada said:
I would say confidence come from two places.

External confidence, which comes from people's praise and admiration.  Usually more fleeting and you always need more to maintain it.

Internal confidence, comes from the inside.  Once you have it, it's always there.  You just know who you are and what you want.  If you aren't there you seek to get there.
That's the stuff that never leaves you.

Once you reach internal confidence you are unstoppable.
Click to expand...

My man
:pimp:
 
Mark Antony said:
360waves said:
Fontaine said:
Difference in attractiveness between men and women.

I'm a regular looking dude... There are hurdles that I won't be able to climb that Idris Elba just ain't gotta worry about it...

But I maximize and sometimes over achieve if its based on my looks...

As a man... The PERFECT combination of humility + confidence + swag will have you landing a LARGE range of women...

Of course there will be some you just won't get though...
Click to expand...

Swag is for boys, class is for men
Click to expand...

**** are you tumblr *****? Context is for all.
Click to expand...

For real :lol:
 
For the most part (and as whack as this might sound), I base how physically attractive I am on the quality of chicks that I pull and my regular daily interaction with females. Now, I usually out kick my coverage cause your boy has game, but the reality is that gives me a bit of an inflated ego so I tend to think I'm better looking than I am.
 
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