would you let your significant other go to the movies alone with the opposite sex

i could see if i was wrong if it was with another female friend, but a friend that i been with 20+ yrs and who happens to be of the opposite sex to see a movie. i don't see anything wrong, especially when you don't have any intentions.
 
DCAllAmerican said:
I wonder how the posterchild of trust and security @KSteezy would feel about this. Knowing him he would Probably would buy a bouquet of roses for a dude if he was about to take Ms. Steezy on a movie date.

That is how "secure" he is :smokin
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eiddyfouw said:
Because being jealous and insecure is often a sign of immaturity in a relationship.

Still think I'm throwing words around?
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Is not jealousy or insecureness, is simply improper for a committed woman to be cozied up in a movie theater with another dude and vice versa
 
Mark Antony said:
Dudes talking bout being cool with their chick doing this are missing how wildly illogical women are. Don't put her in a position where she has to make a decision, it may not come out like either you or the friend thinks. You never know because she doesn't even know till that moment. Women don't really understand themselves on an intrinsic level.
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:lol:

Why are you in a committed relationship with someone that's illogical, can't be trusted to make a decision and doesn't understand themselves? Not one woman in the world is logical and trust worthy? Or do you just prefer a pet as a girlfriend instead of an actual equal partner? I don't get it.

It's cool if you're just not comfortable with it for whatever reasons. But if these are your reasons? Why even be in a relationship at all?
 
Because I accept the real world, faults and all. Is it logical for his ex to have to worry about a basically lifelong friend? Yet...
 
Speaking as an older dude on this board (39yo, married for 11 years, known my wife and dated for 21 years)...

All I'm going to say is, I must have the kind of woman that most of you have not had the good fortune to find. My wife can do as she pleases, with whom she pleases. But we both know that we would NEVER cheat on eachother. No humblebrag.


But I truly wish that all you young cats find this type of woman. I suspect that a lot of you guys put a ton of undue anxiety on yourselves.


If you can't trust the woman and have to "check" her or keep track of her.... she ain't the one.
 
shaft said:
Speaking as an older dude on this board (39yo, married for 11 years, known my wife and dated for 21 years)...

All I'm going to say is, I must have the kind of woman that most of you have not had the good fortune to find. My wife can do as she pleases, with whom she pleases. But we both know that we would NEVER cheat on eachother. No humblebrag.


But I truly wish that all you young cats find this type of woman. I suspect that a lot of you guys put a ton of undue anxiety on yourselves.


If you can't trust the woman and have to "check" her or keep track of her.... she ain't the one.
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You are just at the IDGAF stage in life. That is all.
 
I just don't understand how some of you don't understand the concept of boundaries. You all believe if boundaries are set there isn't trust, maturity, and security. That just isn't the case.
 
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DCAllAmerican said:
shaft said:
Speaking as an older dude on this board (39yo, married for 11 years, known my wife and dated for 21 years)...

All I'm going to say is, I must have the kind of woman that most of you have not had the good fortune to find. My wife can do as she pleases, with whom she pleases. But we both know that we would NEVER cheat on eachother. No humblebrag.


But I truly wish that all you young cats find this type of woman. I suspect that a lot of you guys put a ton of undue anxiety on yourselves.


If you can't trust the woman and have to "check" her or keep track of her.... she ain't the one.
Click to expand...
You are just at the IDGAF stage in life. That is all.
Click to expand...

They set boundaries, he just doesn't see it as that. Semantics.
 
DCAllAmerican said:
I just don't understand how some of you don't understand the concept of boundaries. You all believe if boundaries are set there isn't trust, maturity, and security. That just isn't the case.
Click to expand...


This is not aimed directly at DC, just an overall general statement:


My point is you (and your woman) are not mature, secure and tru****l if you have to set boudaries. Boundaries and trust are not one and the same.

If you have a dog that isn't going to run into the street, you don't have a fence to keep him in the yard.

If your woman is so easily swayed by some dude using the Jedi mind trick on her and "making" her cheat, then this is not the woman for you. This is my point.


Trust your woman to be a good woman. Set boundaries for a lying, coniving deceitful woman.



Which one do you have?
 
shaft said:
Speaking as an older dude on this board (39yo, married for 11 years, known my wife and dated for 21 years)...

All I'm going to say is, I must have the kind of woman that most of you have not had the good fortune to find. My wife can do as she pleases, with whom she pleases. But we both know that we would NEVER cheat on eachother. No humblebrag.


But I truly wish that all you young cats find this type of woman. I suspect that a lot of you guys put a ton of undue anxiety on yourselves.


If you can't trust the woman and have to "check" her or keep track of her.... she ain't the one.
Click to expand...
Post of the Day, I could not have said it better myself.  

As a old dude myself, I can attest that this type of woman is far and few between.
 
Mark Antony said:
DCAllAmerican said:
shaft said:
Speaking as an older dude on this board (39yo, married for 11 years, known my wife and dated for 21 years)...

All I'm going to say is, I must have the kind of woman that most of you have not had the good fortune to find. My wife can do as she pleases, with whom she pleases. But we both know that we would NEVER cheat on eachother. No humblebrag.


But I truly wish that all you young cats find this type of woman. I suspect that a lot of you guys put a ton of undue anxiety on yourselves.


If you can't trust the woman and have to "check" her or keep track of her.... she ain't the one.
Click to expand...
You are just at the IDGAF stage in life. That is all.
Click to expand...

They set boundaries, he just doesn't see it as that. Semantics.
Click to expand...

That's pretty much how I took it. It's like things just naturally being understood and implied between two people, instead of having to be extremely direct and open.
 
DCAllAmerican said:
You are just at the IDGAF stage in life. That is all.
Click to expand...


If and when you enter the "IDGAF stage of life", you should just hop off a very tall bridge. Because at 20, 40, 60 or beyond, when you are there you realize that there is no "IDGAF stage"....or there would be a lot more suicides in the world.


And if I may ask, how old are you?
 
shaft shaft can I take your wife to the movies if she's okay with it and finds my personality likable?
 
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My point is what if she wanted to?

No boundaries and trust means that no matter what kind of person I am or what I look or smell like, she should he free to go and he trusts that nothing will happen.

It was a rhetorical question, obviously. Like I said before, dudes coming in here with that bs internet persona.
 
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Wy are you guys wasting your time arguing? OP clearly doesnt want to fully get back with his ex wife. If he cant wrap his mind around why she has a problem and will debate with her about it and turn to NT for support (A site fully of lonely want to be Alphas :lol:) in his moviegoing decision, in the context of trying to win his ex wife back, then its a lost cause. It shows that deep down its not what he really wants/its doomed for failure again because he doesn't understand and/or isnt mature enough to make it work if given another shot.
 
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Brolic Scholar said:
My point is what if she wanted to?

No boundaries and trust means that no matter what kind of person I am or what I look or smell like, she should he free to go and he trusts that nothing will happen.

It was a rhetorical question, obviously. Like I said before, dudes coming in here with that bs internet persona.
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Yes, it is rhetorical....but the answer is a resounding yes. If she wanted to go see some artsy Victorian era, 4 hour movie and had someone to go with that kept me from having to pay $20 to take a nap in a cramped movie theater seat, absolutely.



Again, the point is, good women (and men) don't need boundaries. Find that good woman (or man). Don't make someone something they are not ever going to be.
 
Hennessy said:
My gf is still in college. I am not. I understand this is not an ideal situation. My gf went to dinner and then got drinks with her male friend from college she hadn't seen all summer. She has "hooked up" (didn't have sex) with him in the past. I called it a date. I was not ok with this. She said it wasn't a date and it was just dinner and drinks. He didn't pay for anything and she talked about me most of the time while he allegedly "jokingly" said I wasn't good enough for her, without ever meeting me.

She was telling me about it over the phone and I stopped her and said something along these lines, "I'm not going to tell you what you can and can't do with your guy friends. I don't want to be a controlling boyfriend. But, this sounded like a date to me and I can't lie I'm irritated because I know it was with someone that you've had feelings for in the past, and he's had feelings for you. It's really too soon in the relationship to tell if I can trust you or not, and I'd have no way of knowing if you cheated on me while you were at college unless you told me. So I'm asking you two things, 1) if you do cheat on me, have the courtesy to tell me, because the relationship will be over right there. I'm not wasting your time, so if you can't be in a committed relationship, please don't waste mine. 2) I'm not ok with you going on psuedo dates with other guys. But, I can't stop from you doing it, and if you're gonna do it I don't want to hear about it because it's upsetting."

She got the point and I'm very confident with us and we are building a lot of trust and meaning in the relationship which is still relatively new. I want things to work and maybe they will, but I'm no fool. I am honestly anticipating a "I cheated on you" call sometime this fall semester. I'd rather be prepared than be naive at this point. As much reassurance as she has given me. Her word doesn't really mean anything to me until she proves it a bit, which has yet to be seen. And that just may be karma from all the cheating I did when I was in college. Like DC said it's an unfavorable situation.
Click to expand...


EXACT SITUATION I AM IN B
 
shaft said:
Yes, it is rhetorical....but the answer is a resounding yes. If she wanted to go see some artsy Victorian era, 4 hour movie and had someone to go with that kept me from having to pay $20 to take a nap in a cramped movie theater seat, absolutely.



Again, the point is, good women (and men) don't need boundaries. Find that good woman (or man). Don't make someone something they are not ever going to be.
Click to expand...
Like I said before, you are at that IDGAF mode.

When I say that, think Al Bundy and Peg. Hey, let him work hard so I don't have to.
 
I really don't get this ... My girl knows better than to approach me with something like this. It better be a gay friend ...
And I am not asking some other chic to the movies. Why would I go with another chic when I can go to the movies with my Girl.

Have you guys completely lost your mind here, or are you all just to naive?

I respect the members on here who claim to be in super-secure relationships, but there is a line .... And let me say this, my GF is a BAWS! My girl isn't even the type you hand directions to, or try and tell her what to do. She is probably more thorough than me LOL and she would never approach me with some nonsense like that.
 
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