Relationship help vol. Ethnic tensions

Coromanti

Coromanti

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NT fam..I need some help.

I'm Jamaican & Guyanese, my girlfriend is Haitian.

For those that don't know, Haiti among the peoples of the english caribbean is often looked down upon.  Furthermore, Jamaicans and Haitians stereotypically dislike

each other.

My mother, the Jamaican one, is having trouble stomaching the fact my girl is Haitian.  Now everything I do is because of "my Haitian girlfriend."  She is acting petty

about everything and has been disrespectful to my girl to her face on numerous occasions.

I'm not expecting her to let go decades of unprecedented bigotry just like that but I at least expected her to behave cordially.

And not that I've met her but my girl assures me that if I were to meet her mother she would at least act civil.

How do I get my mother to act civil and get her head out her ***?
 
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It's your mother. You can't control her. If you an your girl end up getting married, then your girl will have a mother in law who doesn't like her. No big deal. Hopefully, that ain the case but if it is, oh well.

Edit. Just saw you only been dating for three months. Stop making mountains out of mole hills. That shouldn't even be an issue on your radar at this point.
 
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Rico x Hood said:
It's your mother. You can't control her. If you an your girl end up getting married, then your girl will have a mother in law who doesn't like her. No big deal. Hopefully, that ain the case but if it is, oh well.

Edit. Just saw you only been dating for three months. Stop making mountains out of mole hills. That shouldn't even be an issue on your radar at this point.
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I'm confused...my mother and I aren't having fights or issues over it. It's just something I've noticed and will eventually need to handle.
 
If you really like your girl tell your mom to deal with it... Or leave her...

There's no other options.
 
Man it's crazy how some of the islands feel about each other
mean.gif


My mother would do the same if I brought home a Haitian, Jamaican or Guyanese girl.

I really don't understand where it even comes from and it goes back YEARS.
 
Based Jesus said:
 
Man it's crazy how some of the islands feel about each other
mean.gif


My mother would do the same if I brought home a Haitian, Jamaican or Guyanese girl.

I really don't understand where it even comes from and it goes back YEARS.
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what makes it worse is that. so much is the same 
mean.gif


where is your mom from
 
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Rico x Hood said:
It's your mother. You can't control her.
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LOL. My mother, or any family member, aint gonna disrespect me or any loved one or we won't have a relationship anymore. Period.

Put your damn foot down OP. Command respect. They don't have to be best friends, but requiring her to be cordial is not an unreasonable request.
 
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aNYone said:
 
what did haitians do to her b?
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That's the thing. Nothing.  It's all based on some bigotry that goes back years for no reason, and if there was a reason, no one seems to know what it is anymore but they still hold on to this dislike.
Based Jesus said:
 
Man it's crazy how some of the islands feel about each other
mean.gif


My mother would do the same if I brought home a Haitian, Jamaican or Guyanese girl.

I really don't understand where it even comes from and it goes back YEARS.
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Where your people from?
Two Zero Five said:
Get a white girl. They accepted by everybody
smokin.gif
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Lmao...ok...
 
My family is from St. Lucia. Any girl from Barbados or Jamaica will be looked down upon. Especially Jamaica. :lol:

She will never change, those stupid island bigotry that exist in the islands is so hardwired into peoples heads. :smh:

You need to check your mother though, tell her she gotta at least act civil.
 
Have your girl fake her death so you and her can escape together and neither of your families find out

laugh.gif
 But for real, tell your mom that every time she disrespects your girl she's also disrespecting you. The reason I think this could make an impact is just by going off of how she blames things you do wrong on your girlfriend. It sounds like she's not mad at YOU for bringing her home, but that this girl "corrupted" your decision-making and regardless you're still her little angel. That's just what I'm getting from what you wrote so that may not be accurate. 

She sounds hesitant to blame you and so she might not like hearing that her comments hurt both of you. If and when you end up meeting your girlfriend's mother let your mom know how her mom was able to treat you with respect and ask her why she can't find it in herself to do the same. Deep-rooted prejudice is not something that will go away easily though.
 
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distance yourself from your mom for a while. she'll miss you and have to accept her if you wants you back in her life.
 
how old are you?

3 months and you already been introduced her to your mom?

where do you see this going?

maybe you should just slow down a lil and enjoy eachothers company and just be as chill as possible when yall around your mom so that she can see that the girl is good for her sprung *** sensitive ol **** in the booty son
 
juangotti said:
 
how old are you?

3 months and you already been introduced her to your mom?

where do you see this going?

maybe you should just slow down a lil and enjoy eachothers company and just be as chill as possible when yall around your mom so that she can see that the girl is good for her sprung *** sensitive ol **** in the booty son
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Nah....I should've clarified..Me and my girl were skyping and she walked in on us. Didnt hear the foot steps and so bam..she met her.  I shouldnt even say that. I should say they saw each other and my mom made a stank face and said "so thats the haitian" and walked off.

And I don't know where this is going but wherever it goes I want to be able to say I put in an honest effort as a man.
 
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RustyShackleford said:
 
donpoppa said:
distance yourself from your mom for a while. she'll miss you and have to accept her if you wants you back in her life.
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That move don't work in island woman. They interpret it as "she stole my son from me" or "he is picking his GF over his own mother"

Then you got a new headache to deal with
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Or even worse they will say the girl used Obeah or Voodoo to steal the guy away
 
My people are from Antigua. Both mother and father and their mother and father and so forth and so forth.

Quote:
RustyShackleford said:
My family is from St. Lucia. Any girl from Barbados or Jamaica will be looked down upon. Especially Jamaica.
laugh.gif


She will never change, those stupid island bigotry that exist in the islands is so hardwired into peoples heads.
mean.gif


You need to check your mother though, tell her she gotta at least act civil.
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Son it's like every islander not from Jamaica hates Jamaicans with a passion.

**** I've even met Jamaicans that didn't think too highly of other Jamaicans.

I can't count how many times I've heard them be compared to rats and roaches.
Don Adidada said:
 
RustyShackleford said:
 
donpoppa said:
distance yourself from your mom for a while. she'll miss you and have to accept her if you wants you back in her life.
Click to expand...
That move don't work in island woman. They interpret it as "she stole my son from me" or "he is picking his GF over his own mother"

Then you got a new headache to deal with
Click to expand...
Or even worse they will say the girl used Obeah or Voodoo to steal the guy away
Click to expand...
Word. She's haitian so that's immediately what they'd jump to.
 
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