@ "Am I not a Native American? Was I not born in this country?"
Ranking the 13 best nicknames to replace '********'
The end may be near for the Washington ********. Though Wednesday’s ruling by the Trademark Trial and Appeal Board won’t force an immediate change to the team’s controversial nickname, it’s another blow for a franchise that’s rapidly losing the battle for public opinion. Going through an appeals process could take years, during which the clamor for change will only grow. In the end, though, the final decision rests with Daniel Snyder, who told USA TODAY Sports last year that he’d NEVER (emphasis his) change the name.
But what if Snyder eventually realizes he has no other option? Here’s a list for ranking the 13 best potential choices for a new ******** name, each placed into one of four categories.
Not happening
13. Griffins — This would actually be a very cool name if not for the small issue of Robert Griffin III being the team’s franchise quarterback. As if Snyder and RG3 don’t get accused of being buddy-buddy enough.
12. Red Hawks — As Miami University knows, the ******** to Red Hawks switch can work out well. But Red Hawks color scheme wouldn’t pass muster if the team wants to retain its classic burgundy and gold.
11. Skins — This is the easiest move. Cut off the first three letters of the nickname and problem solved. It’s too cute though. By the time this is over, the ******** name will be too poisonous, too untouchable, to modify. A cleaner break is needed.
Could happen, but won’t
10. Americans — A fine suggestion, but it sounds like pandering and Dan Synder doesn’t pander.
9. Hogs — Now we’re getting interesting. The Hogs, the offensive line of Joe Gibbs and Joe Bugel’s 1980s Super Bowl teams, are D.C. legends and bring to mind the glory days of the franchise. But this is a good nickname for sloppy offensive linemen and nostalgia, not for a team worth billions in 2014.
8. Diesel — Speaking of the Hogs, this name, an FTW favorite, hearkens back to the days of John Riggins running through lines created by Joe Jacoby, Russ Grimm and company. Though it’s great, this is too unconventional to work. Every NFL team’s nickname ends with an S.
7. Natives — I thought we were shying away from negative connotations?
6. Warriors — If there were betting odds for the name change, I’d think Warriors would be the favorite. It’s frequently mentioned as a replacement by media and fans and wouldn’t require any change to the fight song or color scheme. Still, I think the ******** have to shy away from any name that carries any sort of Native American undertones. The last thing the team needs is to lose the name-change battle and then find itself in another one. Anyway, cutesy alliteration didn’t help the Washington Wizards bring people around to that switch.
There’s a chance
5. Bravehearts — I have no idea about the legality of picking a name that’s already been used in an Oscar-winning film, but this name has connotations of strength, fits into the fight song and wouldn’t require a massive uniform overhaul. (The helmet spear, minus the feather, would look great. It’s something the ******** should have switched to a long time ago.)
4. Redtails — I love this nickname — from the sound to the history to the way the logo could look. (The one above, courtesy Mbingcrosby, won a “rebrand the ********” contest on 99designs.com.)
3. Renegades — Pro: Could still utilize the classic R logo (which the ******** also should have switched to years ago). Minor con: Though most nicknames can fit into Hail to the ******** (it’s all how you hold the note), the three syllables of Renegades would sound rushed. Major con: Sounds too much like an XFL team.
2. Pigskins — This is another easy fix with a good football connotation. Of all the popular suggestions, this is the one that makes the most sense, even if it sounds too much the title of a Bugs Bunny short film starring Porky Pig. (Why Pigskins but not Skins? The latter feels like cheating. Pigskins is different enough from the offending ********.)
Probably not a chance, but the best move of all
1. Washington Football Club – This was my suggestion last year and I’m still excited about it. Before you mock it, hear me out.
Dan Snyder is going to be dragged KICKING AND SCREAMING — you can use caps — to a name change. He’s only going to surrender when there are no other options or it begins hurting his bottom line. So how do you make a major loss feel like a minor win? You don’t change the name at all. You just remove it.
The Washington Football Club would be a trailblazing name for a major American sports team. All other teams have nicknames. Washington would be the first to go that route. It sounds cool, even if it has the stuffy pretentiousness of soccer. It also doesn’t alienate the many fans who will be upset at the change (and there will be many), the fans who have spent thousands of dollars over the past few decades accumulating ******** gear. In Snyder’s eyes, it could allow the name to live on, if only in absentia.
bonus:
Washington Federals
its the only logical choice and goes with the theme of the city, sentinels sounds good tooDiplomats.
That's offensive to mutants though.
@ Chief Daniel Snyder
This is true too. SPecifically about the logo/face. That's some samba **** for natives.
