15 Reasons why Superman is the lamest superhero ever!! Vol. Approach thou.

40,393
40,990
Joined
Oct 8, 2002
Originally titled, Superman's 15 Weirdest Superpowers:

http://www.ign.com/articles/2015/02/04/supermans-15-weirdest-superpowers

Super-Mathematics

Era: Various
Super-Mathematics
Super-Mathematics.jpg


Writers tend to have their own takes on just how smart Superman really is. If he can move incredibly fast, can he also think incredibly fast? Apparently so, and at one point the hero even relied on a skill he dubbed Super-Mathematics. We're not convinced his bean trick is something any garden variety math whiz couldn't manage, but Lois sure seemed impressed.

Super-Ventriloquism


Era: Golden & Silver Age Superman

Ventriloquism was all the rage if the days of radio serials and pulp heroes like Green Hornet and The Shadow. For a time, that popularity also translated to superhero comics. Several stories saw Superman make use of his Super-Ventriloquism ability, where he could use his powerful vocal cords and project his voice across a room or through a window with flawless accuracy.

supes_ventriloquism2.jpg


It's not even the ability itself that was so bizarre as the fact that even Krypto could make us of it. Apparently Kryptonian pets are fully capable of mimicking a human voice. It's a bit alarming to contemplate.

Super_Ventriloquism.jpg


Super-Weaving

Era: Golden Age Superman

Super-Weaving.jpg


Apparently Superman is something of an aspiring fashion designer. Maybe if this whole superhero thing doesn't work out, he can take his flair for designing wedding gowns at hyper-speed and try out for Project Runway or something.

Super Shape-Shifting & Super-Telepathy


Era: Golden Age Superman

Superman displayed these two bizarre and unrelated abilities in the same issue. After being kidnapped by a race of strange, white aliens, Superman revealed that he can influence the minds of others just by concentrating hard. Basically, he's a Jedi on top of everything else.

Super-Telepathy.jpg


But this adventure only grew stranger as Superman physically rearranged his face to make himself resemble one of these aliens. His skin may be unbreakable, but that apparently doesn't stop him from rearranging it like putty when the mood strikes him.

Super-Shape-Shifting.jpg


Super-Mini-Me Generation

Era: Silver Age Superman

There have been stories where Superman's body has been duplicated or split into red and blue variations. The ability to generate a clone may be a little strange, but it's a useful power nonetheless. Just ask Multiple Man.
Tiny Superman 2-thumb-550x523

Tiny-Superman-2-thumb-550x523.jpg


However, Supes displayed a very unusual (and incredibly specific) take on the power of duplication when he temporarily gained the ability to shoot a miniature version of himself out of his hand. The comic in question saw Superman lose most of his powers. Luckily, no problem he encountered that day was one that couldn't be handled by the ability to fire a mini-Superman at it. In the end, Mini-Supes sacrificed itself to save its big twin, restoring Superman's normal powers in the process.

Super-Caller ID

Era: Silver Age Superman

We've already established that Superman has the ability to control the minds of others. But it turns out he can also read minds. Moreover, he can somehow sense the identity of whomever is calling him on the phone. Is he reading the phone's mind?

Super-Caller-ID.jpg


This power has pretty much lost its usefulness in today's era of Caller ID and smartphones, but at least we can rest easy knowing Superman will never be tricked into dealing with a telemarketer.

Super-Amnesia Kiss

Era: Silver Age Superman / Superman II

Easily one of the most infamous moments in the generally well-regarded Superman II came during the climax, as Superman delivered a passionate kiss to Lois Lane that somehow wiped away all traces of her memory of his secret identity and the previous few days. We can only assume he used his heat vision to burrow into her brain and burn away a tiny portion of her hippocampus.
Superman-ii-kiss-590x350

Superman-ii-kiss-590x350.jpg


But for those accusing the film of being unfaithful to the source material, the same thing actually happened in a Superman comic several decades previous. Lois tended to spend 97% of her waking life in those days trying to expose Superman's identity. When Super-Ventriloquism fails, a Super-Amnesia kiss is usually the most reliable method.

Super-Dancing

Era: Bronze Age Superman

Sometimes super-strength isn't enough. Sometimes you need a little finesse to go along with it. Supes proved he can be a master of the dance floor when the situation calls for it. He used his strengths and his hot, sexy moves to generate vibrations and disarm a series of hidden bombs. And he didn't even have to break cover.

Super-Dancing.jpg


Our only question now is, if Superman can do this, why hasn't Michael Flatley become a superhero?

Super-Eating

Era: Bronze Age Superman

Superman's powers come from his ability to store and process yellow solar radiation. As he's essentially a human plant, he doesn't actually need to eat food. Not that this has stopped him from showing off his ability to cram incredible amounts of food down into his indestructible stomach.

1153076-action_454_00fc-720x1077.jpg



We're disappointed this issue never led to a "Superman vs. Jughead" crossover special.

Super-Cellophane

Era: Superman II (1980)

Among many other things, Superman II taught us that Supes' costume is about more than just form. It's also got useful traps and gadgets, like this removable S-shield that turns into giant cellophane trap. It managed to inconvenience Non for all of... three seconds. So that's something.

http://www.youtube.com/embed/wI1UVDOuMqE?start=0

We like to picture this as the filmmakers' way of making up for the fact that there were no Batman movies to be had in the early '80s. A cellophane S-shield seems like something Adam West's Batman would appreciate.

Super-Diamond Production


Era: Silver Age Superman / Superman III

Here's another peculiar ability that fans mock the Christopher Reeve movies for but actually hails from the comics too. Superman has demonstrated the ability to crush a lump of coal with such force that it turns into diamond.

4096655092_6e808bc3e1.jpg


We're not sure what's more impressive about this ability - the fact that the diamond is only marginally smaller than the coal that formed it or the fact that it emerges already pre-cut.

The Super-Force Field

Era: Post-Crisis Superman

After Crisis on Infinite Earths created a more streamlined and grounded version of the DCU, writer/artist John Byrne set about revamping Superman for the hip, discriminating audience of the 1980's. Somewhat misguidedly, Byrne made it his mission to provide pseudo-scientific explanations of how Superman's various powers work.

mos1.jpg

Are those New Balances?

The result was that Superman gained the ability to generate a constant "electropsychic" force field around his body. This force field accounted for his invulnerability and his flight. It even explained why his costume never seemed to get damaged in Clark's many tussles with the likes of Bizarro and Parasite.

It was a valiant effort to ground a larger-than-life character in reality, but these days DC's writers tend to just rely on the explanation "Because he's Superman."

Super-Entropy Reversal

Era: Superman IV - The Quest for Peace

The Christopher Reeve Superman era was capped off with one of the hero's most unlikely powers ever. During his battle with Nuclear Man, Superman showed an ability to reconstruct broken objects by firing a beam from his eyes. He fixed the shattered Great Wall of China with these entropy-reversing eye beams.

http://www.youtube.com/embed/DfwHe0NqVvY?start=0

Considering that Superman had to scream a lot and spin the planet backwards in order to achieve the same effect in the original film, this was definitely a step forward for our hero. Which is not something that could be said for the movie as a whole.

Electric Superman

Era: Post-Crisis Superman

DC's Superman editorial staff faced an uphill battle in the late '90s. How were they supposed to replicate the massive success of the Death of Superman crossover, especially now that the bottom had fallen out of the comic book speculator market? Their solution was to give Superman his most significant and unloved power change ever. The hero morphed into an energy-based state, and the Electric Superman Saga was born.

ac07.jpg


Electric Superman hearkened back to the hero's many strange transformations during the Silver Age. The problem being that this storyline lacked the goofy charm of those old comics, and this status quo long overstayed its welcome. By the times Supes split into red and blue selves, flew away, and came back in his normal body, fans were too weary to even question things.

Bruh has no chill, follows no rules, just has whatever power that convenient for the situation. :smh:
 
The hate on Supes never ends
laugh.gif


Go take a look at a list of Batman's gadgets, cars, abilities etc. of the Silver Age... every comic book character has had their share of lame stories over the years.
 
Except that 90% of these examples are from the outdated 1950s Silver Age Superman who is no longer recognized as canon


Most people who consider Superman "boring" have likely never actually read a Superman comic

6a0.gif


Canon or not, we live in the real world. It happen bruh.

I read the Death of Superman. Was at the store the day it came out. They probably do write great stories, see that there are no boundaries, but the concept is still lame. One could even say the concept Superman is outdated.

And the movies happened in the 70s and still the best so far, so I think they count.(The new guy to play Superman isnt that bad doe)
 
6a0.gif


Canon or not, we live in the real world. It happen bruh.

I read the Death of Superman. Was at the store the day it came out. They probably do write great stories, see that there are no boundaries, but the concept is still lame. One could even say the concept Superman is outdated.

And the movies happened in the 70s and still the best so far, so I think they count.(The new guy to play Superman isnt that bad doe)
I can name 10 characters more powerful than Superman
 
Superman dont need prep time tho

You dont need prep time when you can STOP time.


6a0.gif



Canon or not, we live in the real world. It happen bruh.


I read the Death of Superman. Was at the store the day it came out. They probably do write great stories, see that there are no boundaries, but the concept is still lame. One could even say the concept Superman is outdated.


And the movies happened in the 70s and still the best so far, so I think they count.(The new guy to play Superman isnt that bad doe)


I can name 10 characters more powerful than Superman

Are any them named Jesus and/or God?

Im shocked they havent claimed Supes was Jesus yet.

Never said he was the strongest or boring, just corny.
 
You dont need prep time when you can STOP time.
Are any them named Jesus and/or God?
 
No

Thor

Silver Surfer

Adam Warlock

Darkseid

Green Lantern (Kyle Rayner)

Green Lantern (Sodom Yat)

Black Bolt

Jean Grey

Thanos

Hank Henshaw

Dr. Strange

Captain Marvel (or at least equal)

The Sentry

Professor X

Martian Manhunter (or at least equal)

Wally West

Gladiator

Read All-Star Superman, Superman: Secret Identity, Superman: What's So Funny About Truth, Justice & the American Way?, Superman: Birthright, or basically any Superman comic from the past 2 decades and then call him corny
 
Notice how most of the characters you listed are Marvel characters, :pimp:

How does that take away from Supes corniest doe?

Im not reading them corny *** comics..
 
Last edited:
Notice how most of the characters you listed are Marvel characters,
pimp.gif
I'm confused. You're complaining because Superman is all-powerful and just randomly pulls out new powers, but now you just acknowledged that there are more Marvel characters who are even worse than Superman in the powers department with the hat gif like it's something cool.

So what's the point of this thread?
sick.gif
 
Notice how most of the characters you listed are Marvel characters, :pimp:

I'm confused. You're complaining because Superman is all-powerful and just randomly pulls out new powers, but now you just acknowledged that there are more Marvel characters who are even worse than Superman in the powers department with the hat gif like it's something cool.

So what's the point of this thread? :x

The point is Superman is corny, or even further Marvel > DC. Its not about HOW MUCH powers they have, it how they just come up with new powers once they write themselves in a hole. Everybody works in some sort of boundaries. "Well, Thor blah blah blah"..Thor IS a god. Thats that

How hard is it to come up with stories when you can constantly move the yard stick? That mad uncreative IMO.
 
The point is Superman is corny, or even further Marvel > DC. Its not about HOW MUCH powers they have, it how they just come up with new powers once they write themselves in a hole. Everybody works in some sort of boundaries. "Well, Thor blah blah blah"..Thor IS a god. Thats that

How hard is it to come up with stories when you can constantly move the yard stick? That mad uncreative IMO.
But you quoted comics from the 50s and said yourself you refuse to read Superman comics. The last **** you read was Death of Superman, meaning you haven't even read a Superman comic from this century
laugh.gif


Well, as Alan Moore put it, "I prefer to criticize things from a position of ignorance".
 
this is a bait and hook thread
I see's it

This+was+no+a+band+wagon...this+was+a+stupid+fight+_7e3589c51d06a519c0d8cbcf92f5fb96.gif
 
 
Last edited:
Why would I read something I dont like? When was the last time you ate a food you didnt like.

I got load of Supes a long time ago, thought it was corny.

You foolish for trying to change my opinion.
 
Robin is the lamest sidekick ever.
i could have a street fight with this ***** and win
 
Back
Top Bottom