Let's Talk About Attraction

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Maybe you've heard the recent jokes and comedic essays about "Dad" Bod. As I get older I could care less about certain attributes of guys as long as I meet a good dude.

I'm in my 20s with absolutely no ambition to become  a wife, have children , and or settle down in the suburbs. I will live off my own and when the time comes buy my own home. So I don't care about money as long as he's not flipping burgers, living out of a box.... This has changed about me. As far as income and education, I don't correlate that to intelligence or making a good income (I know too many naturally smart men without a degree who make bank) . I used to date different races and sizes until I got more experience in the type of men I am attracted to. Race, not culture,  is still no big deal but I cannot bring myself to date an out of shape man which I once was fine with. The issue occurred when I dated someone fit and really enjoyed our romantic life.

I know it's super shallow because even if he owns a successful business, no baggage, my age, and nice , there ends up being no spark because I can't look past his size. I end up having zero attraction meaning zero interest.

I used to think it was mostly men who felt this way but I'm one of those women who needs someone reasonably fit. This only works if you are going to be honest. I know we can be politically correct but I want to really know.
 
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Everyone's a little bit shallow, Kelly.

Physically I'm attracted to a few types but it really seems to come down to: I love what's bad for me.

Fun way to live tbh always exciting.
 
Let me help you out OP with the dad bod talk

http://theodysseyonline.com/clemson/dad-bod/97484
 In case you haven't noticed lately, girls are all about that dad bod. I hadn't heard about this body type until my roommate mentioned it. She used to be crazy over guys she claimed had the dad bod. After observing the guys she found attractive, I came to understand this body type well and was able to identify it. The dad bod is a nice balance between a beer gut and working out. The dad bod says, "I go to the gym occasionally, but I also drink heavily on the weekends and enjoy eating eight slices of pizza at a time." It's not an overweight guy, but it isn't one with washboard abs, either.


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But at the end of the day its what makes you happy and happy with that person

Edit

O and the daily show

 
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I used to be strict on that, but my current gf has never been athletic. Ever. She tries, and she's definitely not fat, but not the body type I preferred in the past. She's voluptuous and I'm extremely attracted to her. I'm not making due or settling. And even though I love her personality, it's not a mind over matter situation either.

It's more of I got over my own hangups and unrealistic expectations. Up until recently, I spent 25 straight years (since I was 12) being obsessed with my own physique. I grew up with a father who was obsessed with his physique. So between him and comics books, as a kid, I thought men HAD to look a certain way in order to be strong/tough/attractive.

Long story short, there's more to people and to life. Do I still care about my appearance? Yes I do. As much as I used to where I want a six pack and veins on my biceps, no.

I want a woman who is sexy at any size, because with age and childbirth comes changes. Not everyone can stay looking ideal forever. We all get old. So I look at long term and see that no matter what they look like now, if the personality isn't there, what's gonna be the glue when looks fade?
 
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I'm a skinny dude myself so I can't demand too much :lol:. But like mentioned earlier. No sloppy chicks. Only sloppy toppy :pimp:
 
Look like and find whatever makes you happy. People change as well. That's what makes finding a match so difficult. We are all shallow to an extent. That's why first appearance and impressions are so vital. The way life moves now people aren't likely to wait and see what anyone is really like.
 
I don't think its shallow more so just preference based on your previous experiences, you have different standards now. I think it would've been shallow if you were out of shape or sloppy, but expected the opposite person to be in shape. 

I think its fair to expect someone to be on the same level and hope that both of you can help each other grow in a positive manner whether it be financially or physically.  I feel as you get older you will start to have higher expectations out of people and if they can't meet them eventually you will cut them off or just slowly start to phase them off. Physically attraction is key, but its about maintaining that once you get in that relationship and not letting your self go. 
 
Kelly you do realize looks dont last forever, right?

BOTH OF YALL, at some point, are going to be old fat and out shape.

Are you trying to BE with someone, or **** someone?
 
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Kelly you do realize looks dont last forever, right?

BOTH OF YALL, at some point, are going to be old fat and out shape.

Are you trying to BE with someone, or **** someone?
Both...
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Hey. I'm not trying to match up with someone and years down the line all we can do is say we're friends with nothing else between us. I know too many couples, married couples like that. And there are plenty of older women who are in shape. If it's important to you, someone can still be active and not just a lump on the couch.
 
Kelly you do realize looks dont last forever, right?

BOTH OF YALL, at some point, are going to be old fat and out shape.

Are you trying to BE with someone, or **** someone?
I want to say you two will grow old and fat together instead of getting to that phrase while you are still young/first meet
 
Kelly you do realize looks dont last forever, right?


BOTH OF YALL, at some point, are going to be old fat and out shape.


Are you trying to BE with someone, or **** someone?



Both...:rofl:


Hey. I'm not trying to match up with someone and years down the line all we can do is say we're friends with nothing else between us. I know too many couples, married couples like that. And there are plenty of older women who are in shape. If it's important to you, someone can still be active and not just a lump on the couch.

Im saying doe, no matter how great of shape you stay in, eventually the bolded WILL happen. There are no exceptions.

If you trying to be with someone for the long run, looks gonna have to ride shotgun. How fine was when you was 22 aint going mean nothing when yall are 60 and still looking at each other. He barely is going to be physically capable.

But, if youre not really looking for a serious, SERIOUS relationship, by all means, be as shallow as you wanna be. Thats what being young is for. Get off your chest. Or on?
 
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I think if you like the individual's personality and attitude and the two of you have chemistry all the other things will fall in line. But looks usually gets a person in the door to all of the other stuff. I don't think it's shallow to be attracted to a specific physical trait, that's just the kind of person you are attracted to. No fault in that.
 
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Looks matter.

But its what looks good to you...some dudes like mom bods.
 
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Been rocking that Dad bod or "military build" as I was told for a minute. I used to do heavy compounds so I can see and feel the greatness so I never sweat it. Now I wanna see what it's like if I fully tap into it. But on topic, you can't control or explain attraction. People's lives will be so much easier when they understand this concept.

Chick i'm talking to now is a lil bigger than i'd normally like, but **** I like her personality. I'm already goading her towards the gym though.
 
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If people are comfortable in their own skin and rock the dad/mom bod more power to them and they get my ultimate respect for their confidence, I can not let my physique get to that point because I've always kept myself in shape. Plus to me, how you present yourself to whomever is the easiest thing to control barring some injury or something.
 
I never cared so much about looks so long as you werent sloppy looking.

If you're big be the sexiest big you can be, don't walk around in sweats all day smelling like grease.
 
Been rocking that Dad bod or "military build" as I was told for a minute. I used to do heavy compounds so I can see and feel the greatness so I never sweat it. Now I wanna see what it's like if I fully tap into it. But on topic, you can't control or explain attraction. People's lives will be so much easier when they understand this concept.

Chick i'm talking to now is a lil bigger than i'd normally like, but **** I like her personality. I'm already goading her towards the gym though.

Personality, I think it holds more weight than almost any other attribute aside from attitude. As long as someone is at the very least decent looking everything else takes a back seat. I just couldn't imagine being in a relationship with a "dime" but she is a total b****. Life is too short. But if it was a "smash and dash" cool.
 
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