Relationship Issue: Get Out Now?

Mr Z said:
Nt brethren....yall doin a good job. Keep me straight and lay into me if i ****** up.

I got so many storeies about this broad..real stuff no rusty shackleford. Im gonna keep this short bc i have to go to work.

Her dad beat her mom and cheated on her. Dad still around but he's a drunk.

One time we were playing Never Have I Ever with shots with some friends and she spazzed. We went one round and she was like "i dont want to play this stupid game" so she stopped playing but CONTINUED to take shots! Lmao

She also told me one time she stabbed her ex bf with a steak knife. He didnt press charges. Lol

She never talks about her past. Talks in real vague terms alot.

She also dated a woman before. She is an all out freak but gets tight when i talk about sex too much. Lol
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I take back what I said before about how to handle this stuff step-by-step. There's just too many red flags and downsides to this whole thing. I don't know either of you and I'm sure there's two sides to everything, but I've been around a while and been through some ****. This all just screams "lost cause" and you're only pro-longing your stress during the most prime and opportune years of your life.

So far we've got:
Emotionally abusive, immature, lives beyond her means, wild insecure and hypersensitive, lives by a constant double-standard, daddy issues out the ***, a history of violence that she sounds like she's proud of (don't think that her telling you that wasn't a quiet threat) mad secretive about other parts of her past, creates conflict and drama when there really is none just to feed her own need to feel significant. I'm no shrink but she sounds like she's got some emotional issues/pathology that you're never gonna be able fix. You could be the absolute perfect man in every way and she's still gonna act up. Cause what truly makes you perfect in her eyes is the fact that she can manipulate and control you. Hate to say it, just my birds eye view. Take it with a grain of salt.
 
Mr Z said:
Nt, im having some problems with a chick I am dating right now. Whenever we have an argument or disagreement she leaves. Its like the first sign of an issue she completely shuts down and does not want to talk. She tends to act real immature and never communicates her feelings. Whats crazy is she is 10 years older than me (Im 26) but I feel like I am more mature. What would you do in a situation like this? Yes she looks good and no sorry no pics because she still is my girl at the moment.

Here are some examples of arguments:
We just had an argument because I laughed when she snored in her sleep. She got really angry and left. In hindsight i should not have laughed because the snoring is embarrassing to her but she never communicated that to me.

Another time she got mad and told me not to touch her when we were sleeping. I got to close to her and she said I wasn't listening and was trying to control her. She also made a comment about me raping her. She said, "so I'm just supposed to let you touch on me or rape me because we are in a relationship "

I'm begginning to think she has some mental issues. I don't want to break up with her if I'm the problem though.

Whay are your thoughts on this? Ever had a similar situation?
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Conventional wisdom says to leave. What more signs do you need? And considering you made this thread FIRST thing in the morning means the house has been on fire and is almost burnt to a crisp. Get out now  man. 
 
143zsxs.jpg

It's sad what people will deal with just to say they are in a relationship.
 
Chick sounds like somebody who will ask for yall to get a puppy together, so you feel even more inclined to stay with her.
 
Any girl that dates girls is a no go for me relationship wise. That means they truly can't make a solid decision. I get the "being open minded and experimental" on the sexual level, but to truly be in a committed relationship with another chick just shows mental instability. Every one of them turns out to be a psycho. Thanks for showing me where one of my EX's will be when she's 36. She has all the same symptoms your girl has.
 
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Someone earlier said she might want control in the relationship and after further reading looks about right. Check her or move on.
 
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Instead of trying to describe her to us and get our feedback you need to say everything you said in your first 2 posts TO HER. Everyone is putting your girl in a box based on their experience with women. They could be right, could be bead wrong. have a talk fam. communication fixes everything, if it's fixable.
 
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FrankMatthews said:
Instead of trying to describe her to us and get our feedback you need to say everything you said in your first 2 posts TO HER. Everyone is putting your girl in a box based on their experience with women. They could be right, could be bead wrong. have a talk fam. communication fixes everything, if it's fixable.
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I know right! The problem is she shuts EVERYTHING like that off. When she's not mad anymore then we go on about our lives. We have never beenable to talk through a problem. she says i do reverse psychology. Im just trying to reach out to her. Even after she cools down she dont want to talk about none of that. Thats my biggest concern, we cant even talk. I tell her that and she shuts me off. Its crazy...i dont know how to get through to someone who does not want to talk or jave any intellectuall convo to help the relationship.
 
PanaRicanRetro said:
She sounds crazy high maintenance from an emotional standpoint and def has some maturity and control issues. You seem like you want to keep her happy so she's always gonna act like something ain't right so you always keep trying to correct something or right your wrongs. Problem is, it's not your wrongs she's making you correct,miss whatever issues from her past keep making her so insecure.

Try this next time she "leaves": take it as a mental break for yourself. Chill with your boys, get away somewhere for the weekend or just spend time doing anything and everything besides chill with her. If you give any attention to her little protest, you give it power. If you act like you couldn't care less, she has no reason to use it. This one is tough though. You gotta act like you don't care even if you do. It also takes patience. You might have to go through this process like 4-5 times before she eases up.

If you still find yourself walking on egg-shells and getting screamed at over benign little issues, just verbally check her, real quick and then you be the one to leave. Just hit her with "You buggin, hit me when you ready to act right" and bounce for a while.

Still keeps up after a few weeks/months of you standing your ground, it's time to move on. They ain't worth that much stress and hassle.
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I stopped reading responses after this because this is probably the best advice you'll get. I'll add this, though: you should seriously consider leaving now. Truth be told, the above advice is perfect... until y'all are married & you're trapped. I imagine it'll be hard to tell if any positive change in your relationship is permanent or just an act until you can't leave. Like another guy said, if she's so great how come other guys (especially ones closer to her age) haven't locked her down yet?
 
I'll keep it real. Op you're attached to her P. She sounds pretty worthless all around. You're also the beta of the two. She abuses you, she does what she wants, you're the one emotionally hurt during all of it, she comes back, you take her back.

Stop kidding yourself
 
Mr Z said:
FrankMatthews said:
Instead of trying to describe her to us and get our feedback you need to say everything you said in your first 2 posts TO HER. Everyone is putting your girl in a box based on their experience with women. They could be right, could be bead wrong. have a talk fam. communication fixes everything, if it's fixable.
Click to expand...
I know right! The problem is she shuts EVERYTHING like that off. When she's not mad anymore then we go on about our lives. We have never beenable to talk through a problem. she says i do reverse psychology. Im just trying to reach out to her. Even after she cools down she dont want to talk about none of that. Thats my biggest concern, we cant even talk. I tell her that and she shuts me off. Its crazy...i dont know how to get through to someone who does not want to talk or jave any intellectuall convo to help the relationship.
Click to expand...

Yeah I know that routine. your gonna have to bring it up randomly when she's in a good mood. And tell her that's why you are bringing it up now, cause she won't listen if you try to have this talk in the middle of an argument. Just really talk to her, tell her how YOU feel, not how she should feel or act. If she can't have a mature discussion on yalls relationship then I would take it as a sign that it's not that important to her and keep it moving.
 
BLASTERCOMBO said:
I'll keep it real. Op you're attached to her P & beamer. She sounds pretty worthless all around. You're also the beta of the two. She abuses you, she does what she wants, you're the one emotionally hurt during all of it, she comes back, you take her back.

Stop kidding yourself
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fixed 
 
I don't know how many more red flags you need. Get up get out and get runnin! Lace up some of your best Ultra Boost worn by yeezus him self and get outta there fam. 
 
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I understand being comfortable in a situation and attached but my goodness. This is a self made problem. Females don't change for the better. They ONLY WILL GET WORSE.

Have some self respect and tell her to kick rocks
 
Mr Z said:
She also told me one time she stabbed her ex bf with a steak knife. He didnt press charges. Lol

She never talks about her past. Talks in real vague terms alot.
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These two points are instant and gleaming red flags.

Be safe, man. The earlier you break off a bad relationship the better. You don't want someone emotionally and mentally unstable like that.

The fact that you chose to post your situation and some personal information regarding the person on NT is a sign of borderline unhappiness and uncertainty already.



-Drew
 
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Sound like she using you for that bread and you're convenient for her...Not to say she doesn't care about you/love you but she probably more in need than in love.
 
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