Career networking = Using People

ziostilon

ziostilon

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In a day and age where networking is so important for your career. To know the right types of people, to get "INs" to certain groups which you might not have been able to get in otherwise

Can you even call those people friends.
The act of using people is disgusting to me. The fact that you have to filter out people (inferiors) that aren't part of your "stepping stone"

It's like everyone is just using one another to get to their goals. Putting on their fake smiles, saying what their peers want to hear.
 
True to an extent. Think of it like this:

- You're just starting out and ask for help

- People go out of their way to help you, but never explicitly say they expect anything in return

- You return the favor down the line and continue the relationship

I like to think that most people are good folks and are willing to lend a hand. I've connected with a few people here on NT and I really just see it as we're all trying to make it out here. Let's help each other get where we need to go and get this $$.
 
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referral bonuses for many orgs...beneficial for everyone (if they give them out)
 
I think it depends on your personal experiences w professional networking.

It's really rewarding to help someone out With their career, but if it's consistently one way, I can see how someone could eventually feel used. Personally I've had a few folks really take care of me, and although I've not yet been in a position to return the favor, I willingly pay it fwd to someone I can help.

I'll also say that help can come from very unexpected/unlikely places, I've realized this a few times and I'm only about 4 yrs into my career.
 
Ziostilon said:
In a day and age where networking is so important for your career. To know the right types of people, to get "INs" to certain groups which you might not have been able to get in otherwise

Can you even call those people friends.
The act of using people is disgusting to me. The fact that you have to filter out people (inferiors) that aren't part of your "stepping stone"

It's like everyone is just using one another to get to their goals. Putting on their fake smiles, saying what their peers want to hear.
Click to expand...


well that's one way to look at it...but the saying "it is not WHAT you know, but WHO you know" has a good amount of truth to it. we are social creatures, so it stands to reason that those who understand this, increase their exposure to both receive & give opportunities in proportion to the size & variation (different people in different networks) of the people in their network. "networking" is probably something that most (I would include myself in this) don't do enough of...
 
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It depends on the relationship you have with your people. You could say the same thing about friends, aquantences, girlfriends/boyfriends, husbands/wife's.
 
Why are you angry famb?

Been like that for years and it's not going to change

Business =\= friendship
 
It's business, not friendship. In the big scheme of things, networking is the least vicious of activities that goes down in corporate america. Once you get the job is when the real beasts emerge.
 
Using People was one of my arguments. The other is that you're not even acknowledging /completely shoving aside those that aren't beneficial to your network
 
Ziostilon said:
Using People was one of my arguments. The other is that you're not even acknowledging /completely shoving aside those that aren't beneficial to your network
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and they will do it to you.

It's a waste of time...


If you draw up and agreement ... Let's say you have 45 days to close the deal..


5 days in, you realize the deal was not for your firm.

Do you go all the way through for the feels?

Nah... You tighten up, split amicably, and keep it pushing.
 
It's the way the world works, you either know someone who's on...Have parents who are on.....Or streeeeetch your resume....Sometimes it takes all 3.

You use what you have, I know people who make less than I do who went to Ivy league schools, and I know people who make more than me who didn't go to school.
 
Ziostilon said:
In a day and age where networking is so important for your career. To know the right types of people, to get "INs" to certain groups which you might not have been able to get in otherwise

Can you even call those people friends.
The act of using people is disgusting to me. The fact that you have to filter out people (inferiors) that aren't part of your "stepping stone"

It's like everyone is just using one another to get to their goals. Putting on their fake smiles, saying what their peers want to hear.
Click to expand...
If you're "stepping on people", then you're not networking. Networking and anything else you participate in should be beneficial to both parties. As Steven Covey says in Seven Habits of Highly Effective People "Think Win-Win". Just because you're networking doesn't mean you are making friends. All it means is that you're building trust and rapport with the other person so they know they can send their contacts to you knowing you'll get the job done and make them look good for the next person they refer and vice versa.

Just because someone is under you right now doesn't mean you won't need them to help you with something later on. As I've been told many times, never burn bridges. Even if you're mad at someone, make sure to end that portion of the relationship amicably because you don't want to have to deal with them later knowing you're just wasting your time.
 
crcballer55 said:
 If you're "stepping on people", then you're not networking. Networking and anything else you participate in should be beneficial to both parties. 
Click to expand...
this.

anybody whose entire lively hood depends on their network would understand this already.
 
The person that helped me start my career is a very close friend of mine.
 
Boris said:
 
The person that helped me start my career is a very close friend of mine.
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Agreed.

My old boss who gave me start a few years ago hooked me up with a gig/multiple references when I was unemployed.

Whoever said it's all business is partially right, but most people want to genuinely help.
 
My cousin got used and lost a good paying job .. Now he works for a hospital and makes at least 40k less
 
Ziostilon said:
Using People was one of my arguments. The other is that you're not even acknowledging /completely shoving aside those that aren't beneficial to your network
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imo you should rid yourself of anyone that isn't beneficial to you...business or not every relationship should be beneficial
 
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Ziostilon said:
Using People was one of my arguments. The other is that you're not even acknowledging /completely shoving aside those that aren't beneficial to your network
Click to expand...

I'm unclear what the issue is here? Your mindset alone will most likely screen them out if they aren't evolving like you career wise anyway. The other thing that will happen as they see you evolve/ value increasing is that they will put you down or guilt you into doing something less productive with them which will only hurt you in the end.

Say for instance you were trying to get in shape. Who are you gonna hang out with? The dudes hitting you up to go to the buffet after work everyday or the crossfit dudes trying to put in work? Doesn't make them bad people and if you wanna kick it with them on the weekend by all means.
 
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limonyfresh said:
Say for instance you were trying to get in shape. Who are you gonna hang out with? The dudes hitting you up to go to the buffet after work everyday or the crossfit dudes trying to put in work? Doesn't make them bad people and if you wanna kick it with them on the weekend by all means.
Click to expand...

which is to say the cats you call to work out may not be the same cats you call when you want to hit up a good buffet (#oxymorons), so another way to think about this is it is like grouping/sorting, so it isn't that you necessarily screen people out or leave people behind because your aspirations/interests don't align...with obvious exceptions (hardened career criminals) the ideas is to know and be of use to as many people as possible because you never know how and who will be of use to you; with the tools available it is easier to have much larger superficial networks. which may be why it is much harder for networking to appear/feel sincere as well as maintain actual lasting real relationships these days.
 
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