Does Anyone Else Have Trouble With Showing Empathy ON THE SPOT?

• Jul 30, 2015

• #1

DCAllAfrican

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Cliffnotes version.

Someone calls and tells me that they got their phone snatched FROM THEIR EAR, while walking near a metro Station.

They are telling me play-by-play action of what happened. I listen, I was out, so after listening for about 7 minutes, I had to end the call. I couldn't say, "I will call you back" because, you know.

But fast forward the next, I get hit with the, "You could at least asked me if I was ok" card. 

Me:  

 ; Well you didn't call me from a hosptial so I made an assumption that you were.

Man, I just don't know what to say when I am IN the moment of hearing bad news. This isn't the first, 2nd, 3rd, or 4th time in my life I got accused of this. Hard to say those things in the moment.

But yea, anyone else struggle with this

 

• Jul 30, 2015

• #2

ctidda

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I'm not that good with empathy and compassion as well. I'm more logic than feeling, the downside of a intp personality I guess.
My mind tends to think of logical ways to fix the situation rather than how to make you feel better emotionally. I'm conscience of it so I try to do my best when the moment comes up now.

I still have feelings though.

 

Last edited: Jul 30, 2015

• Jul 30, 2015

• #3

friscostylez

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yeah i'm pretty similar. it was worse when i was younger but as I got older, I started faking certain emotions and slowly learning how to feel them too. I started to fake them because I hated to feel like I was different and wired different and imo this different wasn't a good different. it kinda helps me to not get attached to people or things. not sure if this is a nature or nurture type of thing but growing up there weren't many emotions shown in my household.

i think i'm a mix between ENTP and INTJ.

 

Last edited: Jul 30, 2015

• Jul 30, 2015

• #4

doublemesh96

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It takes a lot to get empathy from me. Most times something unfortunate happens they brought it on themselves. So I'm pretty hard on people who complain about ****. The only thing people care about are results. Complaints just display how weak you are.

 

• Jul 30, 2015

• #5

jjs07

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How do you tell a story about getting a phone snatched for 7 minutes? Must have started with what they had for breakfast, outfit they decided to wear for the day, etc.

But on topic, I can easily show empathy. Not that hard to do so.

 

• Jul 30, 2015

• #6

doublemesh96

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JJs07 said:

How do you tell a story about getting a phone snatched for 7 minutes?

Click to expand...

Had to be a female

 

• Jul 30, 2015

• #7

airedweezy

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Yall cold hearted.


Unless the person you were talking to op was a man

 

• Jul 30, 2015

• #8

DCAllAfrican

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JJs07 said:

How do you tell a story about getting a phone snatched for 7 minutes? Must have started with what they had for breakfast, outfit they decided to wear for the day, etc.

But on topic, I can easily show empathy. Not that hard to do so.

Click to expand...

I mean she was basically giving me play-by-play of the entire event. What she was thinking at each PAUSED in the story. Then she claimed it was a 15 year old boy that took her phone and how she should have fought him. I told her that she made the right choice because that wouldn't have been a good idea. (Of course I was the enemy for saying that)

 

• Jul 30, 2015

• #9

jmeisreal

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Wow I was literally just thinking about this topic, a good friend of my grandmother passed away last night. She's walking around the house all sad and stuff and i'm just like **** i don't know what to say.

And just like you said i have this problem all the time - idk I feel like i have this realistic outlook on life where **** just happens, and my words aren't going to do much.

When bad stuff happens to me i never really look to vent to anyone, even when someone asks me when something bad happens to me i'll be like "yeahhhh ... i don't mean to make this a pity party"

I know i sound miserable but i promise i'm a good friend lol

 

• Jul 30, 2015

• #10

sooperhooper

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In most situations I can empathize, but there are times when I'm quick to give a solution without fully putting myself in their shoes.
If you have a hard time with this, it's easy to feign concern. Just let them vent, when they pause, just throw in an 'Aww man' 'that's messed up', and finish up with a 'i hope it works out for you'. If you're feeling fancy, 'Everything happens for a reason...' followed by a crazy story of how something crazier could've happened.

After a while, you may start to 'feel' what they feel.

 

• Jul 30, 2015

• #11

RIP sleazyy

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I get called a robot often.

 

• Jul 30, 2015

• #12

mr marcus

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It depends but if they start talking in circles I clock out mentally