Have You Ever Fell Victim To the Whiskey Weiner? #Young*****Problems

Y'all dudes crazy as hell smashing that long. On a good day I'll give a chick 20 to 30 minutes and then you gotta get the **** on with your life. Usually I'm good for a 12 to 15 minute session and it's lights out. I ain't tryna take all the skin off my meat. Damn that.


As for whiskey wang, if I'm drinking, I don't really get horny. Meh.
 
I was around 15/16 when I fell victim to the dreaded "whiskey wiener."

 
I was hanging out with one of my boys at the time & we both threw in ends to buy some crystal (yeah, I know 
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). We snorted some lines & the **** was straight bunk 
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 Felt absolutely nothing (this was early in the afternoon).

Later that night we ended up at some warehouse party. Spot was crackin' & I was just chillin' the entire night until towards the end, I started grinding on some bad Latina chick. Cops shut down the party but this girl was down to kick it with me still.

My girl cousin & her homegirl pick up me, my boys & this chick & while this chick & me are macking heavy in the back seat, my cousin starts asking me about my gf at the time 
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This chick didn't care though & I even finessed $10 out of her 
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Now we're back at one of my boy's house & I take this chick to his garage. I get her naked & position ourselves close to the garage door cause these mfers are like 6+ deep outside & I know they're listening 
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 so the boy has to put on a show 
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Ok, now remember that trash crystal I snorted earlier that did nothing to me at the time? Well now when it was time to perform, one of meth's notorious  side effects decided to show up... limp **** 
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No matter what this girl did, I could not get it up. I say **** it, the show must go on! I bend her over & start smashing with the power of Thor (while working with a dead willy). Thang must of felt like a button to her but much to my surprise, this chick was moaning something HEAVY. She's calling me "daddy" extra loud & all that. I knew she was faking it but she really did your boy a solid 
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 Walked out the garage with my swagger on a trillion & got mad daps from all my boys.

I tried to finesse a train for my homies afterwards but she wasn't having it, she just wanted the kid. She wanted to hang out again but I lost my phone at the time with her number on it shortly after so that was the end of that. 

She'll probably always remember me as the guy who couldn't get it up to save his life but everyone else who was present will never know the truth so:
 
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Johnny cakes said:
Bagged this hot fitness/personal trainer chick last year..On the first date she gives up the P...But the problem was I was drunk and plus I smoked weed with her (my first time smoking in 5 years)..We get to the bedroom, my joint would NOT get up, as much as I tried...shorty finally leaves and in about 2 weeks she came back for a second chance..Guess what..I guess from the pressure of last time, my joint STILL couldn't get up, AND I was sober..I freak out and think I have ED..I called up some regulars and smashed with absolutely no problem..I guess I was experiencing PTSD from last time..finally on my 3rd attempt I was able to smash properly...I am grateful she gave me so many chances, she was really feeling the kid..Too bad she moved away :/
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Man you need a narrated web series or something :rofl: your stories always leave me in tears
 
Freeze said:
meh. i've had whiskey **** on a couple occasions...but the whiskey made me feel so good i didnt eeem give a ****. i had a chick slurping a soft **** for legit an hour. i was dead from the chest down lmaoooo. i thought it was hilarious. ******* paraplegic status b. ****** 'carry me', status b. i was just like, keep sucking lol. she was a trooper. she understood too, i was drinking jack literally all day. football tailgate.



happened another time and someone else and she caught feels. I didn't like her no ways. I had the View media item 1724708 face early in the game. she was like legit mad. was talking ****. again, the JD had me on cloud 9 and a half. but she was blowing my buzz and as always my roast game is biblical. i bodied her for 45 minutes straight no breffs. we didnt talk anymore after that. top was smooth though. and she had perky fake ****. and a boyfriend. shrugs.


happens to the best of us chief. nbd. drink enough jack, you wont eeem give a damn.
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LMFAO!!! Story had me crying
 
The stories in this thread got me dying :rofl: :lol:

Henny + c4 finna have y'all wildin out busting scary movie nuts and **** :lol:

Never experienced whiskey **** on the first round but depending on how drunk I am round 2 is usually a hassle/no go.
 
The worse is when u a grower and it happens
 
FlyNY said:
That's the problem with Yall boys, pa. Stop rocking with that Whiskey and start rocking with the HenRock, baby pa. I never drink whiskey any more. What I will do is guzzle a guiness or 2, then throw back a couple shots of Henny. Trust me, my guy...Hen Rock is strong enough to make her heart beat stop. Once you get that brown water flowing through ya system, ya joint gon get hard like rockwilder, fam.
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Or jack Daniels. I can chop wood with it pa
 
Yall in here talking about mixing pre workout with alcohol? :rofl: Blood gonna reach half way and just give out. Meat gonna be lookin like gonzo's nose. Ol' bipolar chub havin boys.
 
I tried to have a late night fap session before I went to work one night and couldn't get the pipe to rise. I got freaked out and tried again in the morning and it was as good as new. Being tired for me kills the boner
 
How y'all boys feel about that E&J?

Paul Masson?

In the context of this thread (liquor that will have you on beast mode).
 
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FLESH PRINCE said:
How y'all boys feel about that E&J?

Paul Masson?

In the context of this thread (liquor that will have you on beast mode).
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In my 20s, I used to smash on the Erk n Jerk and rarely that Masson (one of the homies liked it, but it wasn't my drink of choice) and I would keep females up all night.

Don't really drink like that anymore though. It's hard to recover the next day when you get to my age man.
 
Drank so much E&J in college the smell of it now will make me throw up
 
FLESH PRINCE said:
How y'all boys feel about that E&J?

Paul Masson?

In the context of this thread (liquor that will have you on beast mode).
Click to expand...

Get the VSOP E&J. The one in the blue bottle or the X0. As close to Henny as possible.

Also, Peach Paul is AMAZING. Women love it because it taste good. And all the homies mess with it too. I was on beast mode last Saturday off of Peach Paul Masson. I swear by it :pimp:
 
E&J peach is better than that Pauly peach.
We use real fruit in our ****.

I got those by the case.
 
Not whisky **** but I've never successfully had sex, wearing a condom. ***** repulse me. Who invented these?! The first few times I tried to have sex, I used to think I had a problem because I'd be ready to go the whole night, through the whole movie and dinner and **** and soon as it's time to get in and I grab a condom, done. ***** are just trash bag or seran wrappy, like I'm about to prepare some leftovers to be put in the fridge so I can enjoy again tomorrow or don't want to make a mess heatng something up in the microwave, not sexy time-y. Then there's the lubed ones with all that slime and goop. Penis would just immediately retract like a frightened turtle soon as I started messing with one. So I legit thought I had E.D or was just so nervous I was psyching myself then I developed the move, get to that same point, got them bent over waving your boy in for landing, like "you got a condom?" and I'd just reach over in front of them and grab it, rip it open without looking at it, snap the rubber against itself sounding like I'd putting it on but really just fiddling with myself, then chuck that **** across the room and go in. None of them ever noticed or said anything. Except my current, one day she text me like, "Doctors said I'm 6 weeks pregnant." :rolleyes Oh yea, Teamnopullout too.
 
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DatZNasty said:
Not whisky **** but I've never successfully had sex, wearing a condom. ***** repulse me. Who invented these?! The first few times I tried to have sex, I used to think I had a problem because I'd be ready to go the whole night, through the whole movie and dinner and **** and soon as it's time to get in and I grab a condom, done. ***** are just trash bag or seran wrappy, like I'm about to prepare some leftovers to be put in the fridge so I can enjoy again tomorrow or don't want to make a mess heatng something up in the microwave, not sexy time-y. Then there's the lubed ones with all that slime and goop. Penis would just immediately retract like a frightened turtle soon as I started messing with one. So I legit thought I had E.D or was just so nervous I was psyching myself then I developed the move, get to that same point, got them bent over waving your boy in for landing, like "you got a condom?" and I'd just reach over in front of them and grab it, rip it open without looking at it, snap the rubber against itself sounding like I'd putting it on but really just fiddling with myself, then chuck that **** across the room and go in. None of them ever noticed or said anything. Except my current, one day she text me like, "Doctors said I'm 6 weeks pregnant." :rolleyes Oh yea, Teamnopullout too.
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So I'm supposed to believe you just been busting in **** and haven't been getting em Preggo or gotten burned?

View media item 1731842
 
I feel son tho. I only had sex and finished with a condom on like 4x in my life. If my joint ain't get soft I just didn't but and would eventually take it off and get dome til I finish. I wasn't making them creampies tho.
 
I'm not a fan of finishing inside a condom. The more p I got, the less I liked the feeling of shooting into a balloon. It just doesn't feel right.
 
Straight up reminded me of









I know it's not the popular thing to say, but condoms are wack as hell.
 
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