Official Depression thread

[illicit305]

Ohhhhh yeah dude no Bueno. Herb ain't gonna hurt you man. I smoke like a Mack truck. My mom says this is the best she's ever seen me. Same with my friends.

You gotta look at yourself and what causes it and go from there. Herb is an attitude adjuster. Ain't gonna fix it but it will help you relax and get through it. Xan is gonna make you a zombie and change your personality slowly until everyone knows you're on it heavy and by that point you aren't coming back.

i want to quit xanax , the cigarettes and the herb........i think the best way is to eliminate xanax , then the bud , then the squares , right ? any advice on quitting xanax will help me alot ....ive been able to go about a week but then im right back callin the dealer 

 

[julesbeats]

Glad to see ppl come together and positively contribute info in here. Thanks y'all. I'm kinda conflicted about wheather or not smoking green is a good thing in my life. My Dr. Says it prob lowers the effect of the anti depression/anxiety meds I take on a daily basis but as said before its a good go to to relax and stay calm. Addiction sucks

 

[bxbadboy90]

Mainly people in general: my ex, feeling like I can't connect with my close friends on a deeper level, not even being able to talk to family about stuff, falling out with some people, not sure where I stand with some, constantly being let down, lied to, etc. I've been trying to meet new people and make new friends, but by now it feels like everyone has their established circles and I don't want to come across as annoying.

It feels like somewhere along the way I lost my drive; probably a combo of discouraging setback after setback and laziness. I'm currently trying to bounce back though.

I've got to stop dwelling in the past. Spent so much time thinking about it and trying to make things that didn't initially work work, that I forgot to live in the present and work towards the future. Because of that I feel like I never make the most of anything which is troubling when I'm on the verge of entering the "real world." I didn't experience nearly as much as I could have and now it's too late for most of it. The future has always been cloudy and unclear to me and I wish I had that figured out the way some of my peers do.

All of this..

I feel that I don't really connect well with people. I feel as if I don't fit in with my family. Have cousins, nieces, nephews my age which I have nothing in common with. Its been this way for a while now, but when I see other peoples relationship w their family it troubles me.

Have a lot of friends whom I hang out, smoke, and party with but besides that I cant connect with them on a deeper level. Had a childhood friend of 15+ yrs who is basically my brother. He has been going through some stuff and because of that I feel that we haven't been as close as we once were. The past few times we've gotten together to spark an L I realized that we are just at two diff stages in life. He's still my bro tho, and forever will be.

The only one I seem to connect with is my girlfriend which bothers me. Wish I could explain but I'm not sure why.

In addition to the fact that I graduated college nearly two years ago and Im still not in the field I would like to pursue. I got an internship which I really liked but things didn't turn out well in terms of advancement opportunities. All of that came to an end last year. Since then I've been working a temp job with another company relatively close to my field. Been here for about 8 months now. About 3 months in (towards the end of my initial assignment) they praised me and offered me an interview for a full time position here. On the last day they told me I didnt get the position and I basically spend July-August looking for a job. Late August I got called back by the same company for a new temporary assignment. Pride was deterring me from going back but I needed the money. I am currently here until December but each day I feel like my drive has diminished. Really do not like it here and feel that the work I put in is not valued.

I often compare myself to my friends who have also seemed to be doing well (In grad school, dream jobs, etc) and often wonder where I went wrong..

 

[alchemist iq]

Life is rough ive dugged pit for myself for not completing college in a timely matter. i've taken the wrong course in life that my brain does't fuction propery. I feel as if out maker put me here on this earth to suffer. However I'm comin to grips with things in life. I'm taking the nesccerary steps to keep myslelf in contol.

 

[alchemist iq]

Life is rough ive dugged pit for myself for not completing college in a timely matter. i've taken the wrong course in life that my brain does't fuction properly. I feel as if our maker put me here on this earth to suffer. However I'm coming to grips with things in life. I'm taking the nesccerary steps to keep myslelf in contol and discplined.

 

[gentrification]

Stop drinking and smoking bud. I battled a temporary depression last year, and to be honest, I occasionally have remnants of it. But I found that my down times typically occurred after alcohol consumption or during marijuana intoxication. So naturally I cut them out. And I've been positive ever since. I put the drink down for good but occasionally convince myself it's okay to burn, though i really should let that go, too.

Alcohol is the single most false security blanket on earth. I hate it. And I drank for so long. It's amazing the positive benefits that derive from eliminating it from your existence. And if you have friends that don't support you not imbibing then they are merely selfish acquaintances and you need to cut them out.

This hits home, I feel like trash right now though. I've stopped drinking for 8 months but been on that marijuana program. I've been in a cloud though and only dealing with my problems 50 percent. I've recently stopped smoking and don't feel good right now. But it seems like the way to go.

 

[gentrification]

 
i want to quit xanax , the cigarettes and the herb........i think the best way is to eliminate xanax , then the bud , then the squares , right ? any advice on quitting xanax will help me alot ....ive been able to go about a week but then im right back callin the dealer 

Do you suffer from withdrawals? i'm stopping the xanax and trees as we speak. Yesterday was hell for me, but everyone seems to quit drugs like it ain't no thang cept me 

. If your getting bars I would taper off, I don't how much your taking on a daily. But I have the bars and took .25 late last night. Went the whole day without nada doe. Felt like hell, had diarrhea and shakes. But I can't mess with that junk anymore...I don't know if you exercise but that helps. It sounds corny cuz exercise never has been able to really replace drugs for me but its the only solution I have. I'm tired of the herb and xanax. 

 

[illicit305]

 
Do you suffer from withdrawals? i'm stopping the xanax and trees as we speak. Yesterday was hell for me, but everyone seems to quit drugs like it ain't no thang cept me 

. If your getting bars I would taper off, I don't how much your taking on a daily. But I have the bars and took .25 late last night. Went the whole day without nada doe. Felt like hell, had diarrhea and shakes. But I can't mess with that junk anymore...I don't know if you exercise but that helps. It sounds corny cuz exercise never has been able to really replace drugs for me but its the only solution I have. I'm tired of the herb and xanax. 

ill get "bar rage" sometimes the next day .......i took one on saturday night (2mg green "hulk") . we take the 2mg down here , you have to be careful with the rerocked fakes , i honestly think i probably took a few fakes by mistake at some points and that really messed me up....i used to be able to use xans on my days off almost how people do when they drink on the weeknds......but i feel "different" now ....i feel dumb now and it feels batman.........i think exercise is the one thing that will help me change my routine however.

 

[getback]

Eat a diet rich in antioxidants.

http://www.drweil.com/drw/u/ART03370/Antioxidants.html

Reduce your EMFs
Get outdoors
Exercise
Meditate
Practice deep breathing
NoFap

Quote for emphasis. I've dealt with depression, experimented (under Dr. supervision) with benzos and anti-depressants.

Honestly, the best medicine is eating healthy and staying physically active.

Stored and unused energy is the worst when you have anxiety/depression.

 

[getback]

 
i want to quit xanax , the cigarettes and the herb........i think the best way is to eliminate xanax , then the bud , then the squares , right ? any advice on quitting xanax will help me alot ....ive been able to go about a week but then im right back callin the dealer 

 You shouldn't be asking NT how to stop using Xanax. You probably have to taper off under the supervision of a Psych. Get an appointment or make a phone call.

 

[willzway26]

You know what's funny, this article is right on time.

Not to get too much into my business, but I just started a new job last week.  Apparently they are a mental health advocacy non profit.  As we speak they are now in Capitol Hill lobbying for Congress to push for more laws acknowledging the issue.

My baby momma has post partum so it really hit home when they explained to me what they do once they got me on board. 

The biggest issue right now concerning mental health, is that society doesn't yet acknowledge it as a medical condition.  Mental health sickness is just like any other sickness, like the flu, measles, etc, but society sees it as a separate thing, and because of that, it seldom gets treated.

The company I work for actually has a Mental Health First Aid Kit, which is basically a kit to help treat people with mental illnesses: some reading material, a notebook, etc.  Just like any company will have a first aid kit for cuts and bruises, there should be more MHFA kits available to the public, especially in the workplace where people have the most stress.  If these kits were better known and more readily available, people would be able to treat depression, anxiety, addiction, and other mental health issues early on, before it spreads into something more serious.  Think about it: there's a whole method to treating cuts, right?  If you treat it early on, it won't spread, we all know how to treat a cut.  Mental health is the same way, it's a mental wound that needs to be treated.

Anyway, I'm just putting it out there that this is a real thing in our society, and people need to understand that it's a common issue and can be treated.  Not everyone can afford therapy (I'm pretty sure all this lobbying has to do with adding mental health as something your healthcare plan can treat)  but I was fishing through the kit and there are some great ways to treat depression on your own:

Diet/execize of course

Self Help books

Meditation

St John's Wart (you can find it at your health food or natural rememdies store)

SAMe (It stands for something long, but this is also something you can get from the heath store)

Anyway that's it for now I have to actually go back to work, but it really opened my eyes, and I hope some of you, or anyone you know, who is suffering from depression, can get something out of what I said.

CLIFFS:  Mental health is very treatable

 

[blackxme]

This past year has probably been the worst year of my life. I'm still here after contemplating taking my life several times. At one point I dissapeared to Austin ( I live in Houston) without telling anyone and seriously thought about ending my life there. My issues revolve around so many things but I think the trigger for this downfall was founding out in April that my girlfriend of 8 years was cheating on me. I had seen signs of issues but never did I think it would come to that. A betrayal like that from someone you love so deeply will rock your entire world and shatters so much of what you held dear.

I sought therapy and sometimes I feel like it helps, other times it doesn't. You get in these really dark places and you just have to sometimes find that strength to pull yourself up. Some days you wake up and just want to stay in your bed all day. On those days your will to live is so minimal and you just want to give up.

Honestly I'm not sure how I'm still here. But I try to take it day by day and tell myself that I have a lot of potential and that I wouldn't want to leave my loved ones behind. I'm a personal trainer and so it's exhausting sometimes to pretend to be happy and positive but I think interacting with clients and looking forward to goals I've set for myself really gives me a purpose. I workout a lot and try to do things that I know will make me better. I went down a path where I wanted to just do drugs to escape but I cut all that out.

My advice to any of you really going through a rough time is:
-Surround yourself with friends who are really there for you.
- Try to love yourself again
- find things that give you purpose
- change your mindset and remove the negative self talk as best you can
- seek therapy ( find a therapist that fits you and one you feel really helps)
- do things that will add to your self worth
- plan a trip and get away from your environment if you can

Ultimately you have to fight for yourself

 

[trappstar]

This past year has probably been the worst year of my life. I'm still here after contemplating taking my life several times. At one point I dissapeared to Austin ( I live in Houston) without telling anyone and seriously thought about ending my life there. My issues revolve around so many things but I think the trigger for this downfall was founding out in April that my girlfriend of 8 years was cheating on me. I had seen signs of issues but never did I think it would come to that. A betrayal like that from someone you love so deeply will rock your entire world and shatters so much of what you held dear.

I sought therapy and sometimes I feel like it helps, other times it doesn't. You get in these really dark places and you just have to sometimes find that strength to pull yourself up. Some days you wake up and just want to stay in your bed all day. On those days your will to live is so minimal and you just want to give up.

Honestly I'm not sure how I'm still here. But I try to take it day by day and tell myself that I have a lot of potential and that I wouldn't want to leave my loved ones behind. I'm a personal trainer and so it's exhausting sometimes to pretend to be happy and positive but I think interacting with clients and looking forward to goals I've set for myself really gives me a purpose. I workout a lot and try to do things that I know will make me better. I went down a path where I wanted to just do drugs to escape but I cut all that out.

My advice to any of you really going through a rough time is:
-Surround yourself with friends who are really there for you.
- Try to love yourself again
- find things that give you purpose
- change your mindset and remove the negative self talk as best you can
- seek therapy ( find a therapist that fits you and one you feel really helps)
- do things that will add to your self worth
- plan a trip and get away from your environment if you can

Ultimately you have to fight for yourself

Hang in there, boss. I dealt with a devastating breakup June 2014. I can definitely empathize with your plight. It truly does suck, especially when everyone around you is saying find someone new, there's so many people in the world, blah blah blah. It defies me how many can't understand that to you, that one person was your world, and its impossible to turn off the thoughts. It's not like you actually desire to feel like ish. But the thing is, you sort of do. You miss the girl you love so desperately and since she is gone, the only place you can spend time with her is in your thoughts, which is the source of your sadness and your inability to move on.

You have to go cold turkey on the drink and drugs and slow songs. I actually stopped listening to R&B for a damn near a year. They imprison your growth. It's a long, slow road but eventually you have good days, and eventually you get some momentum. You never stop thinking about her but you just slowly learn to move on. Just realize that you have to be patient. This is going to be a year/year and a half journey. Don't beat yourself up for your lack of progress because there is no time limit when it comes to grieving a loss so deep.

 

[blackdynamite]

That's harsh bro, but I'd be glad it happened to me. Well not glad, but it showed you her true colors. It just means that she was not who you expected her to be. It seems like you're on the right track brother, and everything will be aight

 

[guccjermaine2]

26 and struggling, but there's an upside to everything bros; Remember That. Blowin good tree, jogging, and long walks help me when I'm down. 

 

[sharpshooter718]

I felt really down the past yr and a half... cheated on my girl back in 2014, had to fight to get it right.. stopped doig music for 2 yrs.. something that i really love and in between getting my relationship right and taking care of my kids, i lost myself and who i was.. it wasnt until recently as in a few weeks ago i got some good news from a artist that I know who does his thing independently through universal records was I able to snap out of it. I also got a co sign from this really dope chick at my job. I let hear a couple of my tracks anf she gave me a really good complement and that boosted my self esteem and drive just that fast.

I have a problen with my woman not caring about my music and i know its not her job to cheer me on but i think she could be more supportive in my endeavors, i might not have been feeling the emptiness inside of me all these years... im gonna give music one more shot to give me something back. If not at least i could walk away knowing i gave it my all...

Find what u love and youll never be depressed

 

[mplsdunk]

Ohhhhh yeah dude no Bueno. Herb ain't gonna hurt you man. I smoke like a Mack truck. My mom says this is the best she's ever seen me. Same with my friends.


You gotta look at yourself and what causes it and go from there. Herb is an attitude adjuster. Ain't gonna fix it but it will help you relax and get through it. Xan is gonna make you a zombie and change your personality slowly until everyone knows you're on it heavy and by that point you aren't coming back.

i want to quit xanax , the cigarettes and the herb........i think the best way is to eliminate xanax , then the bud , then the squares , right ? any advice on quitting xanax will help me alot ....ive been able to go about a week but then im right back callin the dealer 

Aright man first thing I'm gonna tell you is I'm not a role model. I still got my demons but I am very aware of it and I quit alcohol and opiates and tranquilizers 3 years ago with no relapse.

I wasn't prescribed Xanax I was on seroquil. Equally as bad probably worse. I never really got that deep into it though because I didn't like the way it felt. I was on that oxy/percs grind. It's like this with any drug you wanna quit though for me.

I reached my limit in my head. I said today is the day and just quit on all of them. Alcohol was the hardest, I wasn't right for two weeks, puking and shaking. But what's your other option? You wanna go to treatment and get out and stay 6 months in a halfway house? I didn't. That's why I said I had to do it on my own and if I relapse I will go to treatment. The thought of relapse and going to treatment is what kept me from all those.

I'm just that kind of guy too. I'm so hard headed I will not go back on my word if it's the last thing I do. I told my friends I was done so I was done. I'm not gonna look like a liar or fiend. Plus what do I look like letting some garbage in a bottle ruin me? That's what I'm saying. Get mad at that ****. Let it fuel you in another way. Find something you love and just go hard af at it.

Don't quit green right now either. You're gonna need it when you get those urges burn one down. Burn five down. Smoke till you're in a coma and wake up and tomorrow will be another day you didn't use Xanax. After the initial blow of getting off all the garbage you will naturally smoke less over time.

This is what works for me. I was a HEAVY drinker and opiate user. The tranquilizers were only a few month stint. But you only got two options, keep doing them or stop. Straight up. Just do it and never look back.

 

[blackxme]

Hang in there, boss. I dealt with a devastating breakup June 2014. I can definitely empathize with your plight. It truly does suck, especially when everyone around you is saying find someone new, there's so many people in the world, blah blah blah. It defies me how many can't understand that to you, that one person was your world, and its impossible to turn off the thoughts. It's not like you actually desire to feel like ish. But the thing is, you sort of do. You miss the girl you love so desperately and since she is gone, the only place you can spend time with her is in your thoughts, which is the source of your sadness and your inability to move on.

You have to go cold turkey on the drink and drugs and slow songs. I actually stopped listening to R&B for a damn near a year. They imprison your growth. It's a long, slow road but eventually you have good days, and eventually you get some momentum. You never stop thinking about her but you just slowly learn to move on. Just realize that you have to be patient. This is going to be a year/year and a half journey. Don't beat yourself up for your lack of progress because there is no time limit when it comes to grieving a loss so deep.

Thank you for the kind words man. We sound so similar. We broke up for like two weeks in February '15 and in that time she slept with some dude she met at work. She had known him for some time but the fact that it happened so quickly just means the foundation had been set for her to do that so fast. I honestly don't think she's a bad person, I think she made a mistake ( I've made mistakes). But it was really earth shattering because you still love them and like you said everyone is trying to say there's more for you out there but you feel like you had what you wanted in a significant other. She's tried to make amends, she's written me apologies, and she's done a bunch of other stuff. To me I just feel like there's no going back and I feel like she threw everything away for a guy she didn't even really care about. That's what sucks to feel like you were tossed aside for someone insignicant. The worst part is after almost a year you can't stop loving them. I basically grew up with her and we became adults together and we just shared so many experiences that it's hard to feel like all that is gone. How you said people really don't get just how miserable and hard it is to move forward.

 

[datkidfiasco]

I've been battling depression for the past 5 years. I used ot let it control everything, started doing bad in school, started pushing all my family and friends away...but i'm getting a lot better, well was..The biggest part of me getting back on track as cutting out my on and off ex girlfriend, who ruined the past 5 years of my life, well i allowed her to. When she was removed from my life it was like i was a different person, lost a ton of weight , graduated , got a good job.. then she creeped back in , just to try to ruin it all and i almost let her, but no one can do that to me anymore.

NT has been a huge help to me , been there for me when i couldn't talk to family or friends because i was so ashamed and embarrased of myself. All the advice i can give to anyone is that you need to get rid of al the people in your life who dont deserve you, get outside ,enjoy yourself and become the best person you can be, because at the end of the day no one is there for you but YOU. 

If any of you guys need someone to talk to PM me, i might not answer right away because of work, but i'll try and be here for anyone like many NTrs have been for me.

 

[getback]

This past year has probably been the worst year of my life. I'm still here after contemplating taking my life several times. At one point I dissapeared to Austin ( I live in Houston) without telling anyone and seriously thought about ending my life there. My issues revolve around so many things but I think the trigger for this downfall was founding out in April that my girlfriend of 8 years was cheating on me. I had seen signs of issues but never did I think it would come to that. A betrayal like that from someone you love so deeply will rock your entire world and shatters so much of what you held dear.

I sought therapy and sometimes I feel like it helps, other times it doesn't. You get in these really dark places and you just have to sometimes find that strength to pull yourself up. Some days you wake up and just want to stay in your bed all day. On those days your will to live is so minimal and you just want to give up.

Honestly I'm not sure how I'm still here. But I try to take it day by day and tell myself that I have a lot of potential and that I wouldn't want to leave my loved ones behind. I'm a personal trainer and so it's exhausting sometimes to pretend to be happy and positive but I think interacting with clients and looking forward to goals I've set for myself really gives me a purpose. I workout a lot and try to do things that I know will make me better. I went down a path where I wanted to just do drugs to escape but I cut all that out.

My advice to any of you really going through a rough time is:
-Surround yourself with friends who are really there for you.
- Try to love yourself again
- find things that give you purpose
- change your mindset and remove the negative self talk as best you can
- seek therapy ( find a therapist that fits you and one you feel really helps)
- do things that will add to your self worth
- plan a trip and get away from your environment if you can

Ultimately you have to fight for yourself

Glad you fought through it homie.

This is why I have a hard time trusting women. I consider myself 100% loyal to friends, family, and significant others. I don't know what I'd do if someone did me dirty like that. I have major trust issues. People can be horrible to their so called loved ones.

While I'd love to get married and have kids, I've heard HORROR stories. For example, just learned that a dude I know left his wife and mother of two kids (one unborn) for a thot/fling.

For you, I'd consider the score 0-0. I'm assuming you weren't married, no kids. So once you got through the emotional part, your hands are wiped clean of her and you can find a loyal chick you deserve. Basically starting from scratch. You have no attachments to the chick that betrayed you.

You are also a stronger person for reaching what sounds like rock bottom and batting through it.

 

[ahat]

Ptsd got me ****** up for real

 

[gentrification]

 
ill get "bar rage" sometimes the next day .......i took one on saturday night (2mg green "hulk") . we take the 2mg down here , you have to be careful with the rerocked fakes , i honestly think i probably took a few fakes by mistake at some points and that really messed me up....i used to be able to use xans on my days off almost how people do when they drink on the weeknds......but i feel "different" now ....i feel dumb now and it feels batman.........i think exercise is the one thing that will help me change my routine however.

Aright man first thing I'm gonna tell you is I'm not a role model. I still got my demons but I am very aware of it and I quit alcohol and opiates and tranquilizers 3 years ago with no relapse.

I wasn't prescribed Xanax I was on seroquil. Equally as bad probably worse. I never really got that deep into it though because I didn't like the way it felt. I was on that oxy/percs grind. It's like this with any drug you wanna quit though for me.

I reached my limit in my head. I said today is the day and just quit on all of them. Alcohol was the hardest, I wasn't right for two weeks, puking and shaking. But what's your other option? You wanna go to treatment and get out and stay 6 months in a halfway house? I didn't. That's why I said I had to do it on my own and if I relapse I will go to treatment. The thought of relapse and going to treatment is what kept me from all those.

I'm just that kind of guy too. I'm so hard headed I will not go back on my word if it's the last thing I do. I told my friends I was done so I was done. I'm not gonna look like a liar or fiend. Plus what do I look like letting some garbage in a bottle ruin me? That's what I'm saying. Get mad at that ****. Let it fuel you in another way. Find something you love and just go hard af at it.

Don't quit green right now either. You're gonna need it when you get those urges burn one down. Burn five down. Smoke till you're in a coma and wake up and tomorrow will be another day you didn't use Xanax. After the initial blow of getting off all the garbage you will naturally smoke less over time.

This is what works for me. I was a HEAVY drinker and opiate user. The tranquilizers were only a few month stint. But you only got two options, keep doing them or stop. Straight up. Just do it and never look back.

Repped. I'm copping some green to get thru...and slowly cut down on that. Cuz f tapering with more pills. 

 

[gentrification]

 
You replaced weed with xanax? WTH were you thinking?

Hella stupid I know 

. I wasn't I was listening to a friend that swears by doctors. NO WAY. 

 

[you go boy]

i am really unhappy about my job... and its like when i go to these meetings everyday it shows in my face and in the morning before everyone comes in im not in the mood to say hello or even have a conversation... it has nothing to do with my coworkers even though some are annoying i actually like them and get along with everyone... i just am so disappointed with the money and my boss expects all this work to get done and we dont get compensated for it...my raise this year was .40 cents and that was with a good review talk about pathetic... when i had overtime i can easily cope with this job and it would overcompensate for the lack of money i was getting... but now that there is no overtime and more responsibilities i really have no desire to be there or even want to work hard there...its basically the epitome of a dead end job... and i want to leave so badly but its tough because this is the first stable job ive had in my life and dont have to worry about job security here and i will lose my benefits if i leave which is my PTO days... ive been trying to go to another department but it seems like all politics at my job to get promoted... so i might have to start looking for another job soon

another thing i have trouble dealing with is being lonely... yes i do things alone and very comfortable in my own skin being independent and can enjoy doing things by myself but thats different than being lonely...i just dont have that support system i desire...i use to be out and about all the time but ever since i moved to the new house which was 10 years ago i lost contact with a lot of my friends... it was nothing personal but its just hard to hang with them on a consistent basis because they all live like an hour away... and not only that but majority of them have a different lifestyle are married and with kids so they dont want to do the same thing i want to do...and i want to be in a relationship badly just to have someone by my side who i can appreciate and be happy with and vice versa but its tough for me to meet new people when i have a shy/introverted personality... this is where i place blame on myself because i know what i have to do to improve myself but i just dont do it... its easier said than done but i have to work on it

but other than that im happy with my life... i try not to think about these things too much because it will bring me down and i know there is a light at the of the tunnel... and then i think about me being unhappy is not that serious because other people have it 100 times worse so i need to get over it and be a better person... but my problem is not even being depressed but sometimes i try so hard to not focus on the negative things in my life i become passive and not work on improving myself

 

[Bruce Banner]

Some real deep stuff in this thread , I feel like I've yet to reach my potential in life.. At times I don't even sleep at night thinking about my future , early 20s still working and taking classes but I've switch my major which set me back on graduating.. im Just afraid of failure man . I don't want to be filthy rich I just want to live comfortable and to retire my mom .

Met this girl 6 months ago damn near in love with her she got my nose wide open , she got me wanting to do things I've never thought of doing before .. I was raised to very skeptical of people man I trust her but I honestly don't want to get hurt . You think you know someone but next day they might wake up and be a very different individual scary .