Second+ generation Vol. Language Barrier with Parents

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formerly worldgonemad
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Anyone else go through this? Got in a huge disagreement with my pops and the atmosphere is pretty bad but I cant say what I want to say or get things off my chest because im not fluent enough in Korean to speak to him. **** gets so hard for me and its always been difficult communicating with my parents growing up. I understand about 90% of what he says but I cant speak fluently and use proper grammar all the time.

My relationship with my pops has never been close and I think one of the main reasons is because of this language barrier between us. 

Anyone else go through this?
 
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Yes, it comes with the territory of being the second generation of an Asian family.

Calm down, it'll blow over.
 
I feel you.

I think my Chinese is somewhat decent, but I do wish I took my Chinese classes more seriously and took them for longer when I was younger.
 
I have a question if I may. Do the parents in these households typically try and make sure that their children are fluent in the native tongue or is it mostly just comprehension and then let them learn English?

Do the parents typically make an effort to become fluent in English?
 
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Antidope said:
 
I have a question if I may. Do the parents in these households typically try and make sure that their children are fluent in the native tongue or is it mostly just comprehension and then let them learn English?

Do the parents typically make an effort to become fluent in English?
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I cant speak for others but my parents made me and my sisters go to Korean school. However, unlike my sisters, I goofed and didnt take it seriously. This was when I was in elementary school. I did learn how to read and write, though. And if it wasnt for the school, my Korean would be a lot worse than it already is.

As for my parents, they work full time and by the time they come home, they have no energy to take any English classes. My parents obviously know very basic english words, though. Also, my parents are old. There are a lot of young asian couples who beceom americanized first then they have their kids.
 
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Antidope said:
I have a question if I may. Do the parents in these households typically try and make sure that their children are fluent in the native tongue or is it mostly just comprehension and then let them learn English?

Do the parents typically make an effort to become fluent in English?
Click to expand...



Pretty much all of my friends parents are fluent in English (mine included). They have to (work and all that stuff). Almost all my friends also took some sort of Asian language class growing up as well and do speak it at home.

Maybe since I was 18 I've tried to speak more in Chinese to my parents than English since there's really no other way to practice it and use it.

I can't write though, I can recognize some characters but that's about it.
 
at my sister home all they speak to my nephew is spanish, he is 4 and knows more spanish than english. Hell learn english with school and all but the foundation has been set so he can flourish as a bilingual.
 
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gil23 said:
at my sister home all they speak to my nephew is spanish, he is 4 and knows more spanish than english. Hell learn english with school and all but the foundation has been set so he can flourish as a bilingual.
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that was the case for me too. When I was younger, my korean was obviously a lot better than my english. But once I started school, I was surrounded by English speakers more than Korean speakers. Eventually, the english caught up and progressed a lot faster than my korean. Not saying thats the case for your nephew, but its the case for a lot of us.
 
WorldGoneMad said:
that was the case for me too. When I was younger, my korean was obviously a lot better than my english. But once I started school, I was surrounded by English speakers more than Korean speakers. Eventually, the english caught up and progressed a lot faster than my korean. Not saying thats the case for your nephew, but its the case for a lot of us.
Click to expand...


yeah if you dont keep using the language itll fade away when young
 
WorldGoneMad said:
gil23 said:
at my sister home all they speak to my nephew is spanish, he is 4 and knows more spanish than english. Hell learn english with school and all but the foundation has been set so he can flourish as a bilingual.
Click to expand...


that was the case for me too. When I was younger, my korean was obviously a lot better than my english. But once I started school, I was surrounded by English speakers more than Korean speakers. Eventually, the english caught up and progressed a lot faster than my korean. Not saying thats the case for your nephew, but its the case for a lot of us.
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Your parents didn't send you to Korean lessons? Just asking

All my Korean friends, and I got a lot, they told me their parents had them take Korean lessons all the way up until like the middle of HS.

So many people told me this I always wondered if it was the norm.

-But brah, if you really think this is a problem, maybe you should start working hard to improving your Korean. Since you grew up around it, it should be easier for you than most.
 
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Antidope said:
 
I have a question if I may. Do the parents in these households typically try and make sure that their children are fluent in the native tongue or is it mostly just comprehension and then let them learn English?

Do the parents typically make an effort to become fluent in English?
Click to expand...
I think it varies from family to family. Growing up, my mom spoke majority tagalog to me, while my dad spoke English.
 
You're young, still got a lot of time to learn.
 
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My parents speak Arabic exclusively at home and made sure that my siblings and I can speak/understand it.
 
AZwildcats said:
My parents speak Arabic exclusively at home and made sure that my siblings and I can speak/understand it.
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I always wanted to ask, don't you guys (the Sudanese) have your own ethnic languages or is it only Arabic and English in Sudan?
 
my Spanish speak Spanish they taught me Spanish first and i didnt learn English until i went to school. They knew i would pick up English in school and i did. But at home everything remained Spanish and i learned to read and write it and for that i thank them. The opportunities i have been given because i am bilingual have been tremendous. 
 
enlightenedespot said:
 
AZwildcats said:
My parents speak Arabic exclusively at home and made sure that my siblings and I can speak/understand it.
Click to expand...
I always wanted to ask, don't you guys (the Sudanese) have your own ethnic languages or is it only Arabic and English in Sudan?
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In the capital city of Khartoum and surrounding suburbs (where my family is from) Arabic is the only language used. However when you go out to the western (Darfur) and far northern (Nubia) parts of the country you'll find that the people out there use their own languages alongside with Arabic. Also before the separation, the southern part of the country spoke their own language and practiced their own religions. 
 
It's a thing I really regret now - I did HS French but wouldn't say I can speak the language.

Immersion is the only way and I think that those who grew up speaking their parents language at home have an advantage. I was listening to a podcast a few days about comic book artist Jim Lee and he was saying how he came from South Korea and just got put in school and at that age you learn fast - he did the same to his kids - took them to Italy and within 6 months they were fluent.

I think it's too late for me now - I know a girl who moved to Paris for a year after HS and that's the way to do it. I'll need to wait until I retire now...
 
My Spanish is poverty b. Got an American accent smfh, spanish my mother tongue too.


Moms always used Spanish growing, made sure we knew it.
I understand more than I can speak.
No barrier, understand everything.


Kids will learn Spanish & hopefully another.
Cant be out here monolingual.
 
My mother/inlaws speak exclusively Spanish to us all, I wasn't born here tho and neither was my wife so Spanish was or first language, however her little sister was not, she was born here, up until school she spoke only Spanish at home, never learned English and picked up once she started school, since then it was Spanish at home, English elsewhere...she's now fluent in both...I don't understand how you grow up not understanding your parents language, SPECIALLY since they barely speak English, must be tough man :frown:
 
My mom and speak I English to each other and i only speak Spanish with my pops. My Spanish is not all that good so i can understand where you're coming from OP.
 
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