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On the Greyhound Bus from Phoenix to Tucson. It was a very awkward situation for everyone involved
What's the strangest/worst/ most ridiculous place you HAD to poop
- Thread in 'General' Thread starter Started by cash money 1999,
- Start date
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Strangest place was outside. ....definitely outside.
I was workin at someone's house one summer to make some money for a trip and one morning i get there and no one is home.
Ol boy calls and says he will be about 40 minutes late......im like damb.
You see, that particular morning i was rushing and did not chunk the deuce like i normally would after a hearty breakfast , assuming the house would be open as usual and i could drop my waste at another location.
So about 20 minutes go by and i can no longer fight the bubble guts.
I had a roll of paper towel in my trunk and i knew what had to be done.
So i go out back behind the shed near the woods and i pull my pants down and squat. Initially i couldn't do anything, perhaps due to it being my first time doing this out in the open. But then i just relaxed, breathed in the morning air, became one with the nature surrounding me, and let the bubble guts take over.
It felt good.
very relaxing, very freeing. One of the top 5 number twos i have experienced in my life i cant lie.
I remember squating there, smiling looking around and they had a dog who was locked up in a small kennel because no one was home.
He was sitting there looking at me like
View media item 1793624
I was workin at someone's house one summer to make some money for a trip and one morning i get there and no one is home.
Ol boy calls and says he will be about 40 minutes late......im like damb.
You see, that particular morning i was rushing and did not chunk the deuce like i normally would after a hearty breakfast , assuming the house would be open as usual and i could drop my waste at another location.
So about 20 minutes go by and i can no longer fight the bubble guts.
I had a roll of paper towel in my trunk and i knew what had to be done.
So i go out back behind the shed near the woods and i pull my pants down and squat. Initially i couldn't do anything, perhaps due to it being my first time doing this out in the open. But then i just relaxed, breathed in the morning air, became one with the nature surrounding me, and let the bubble guts take over.
It felt good.
very relaxing, very freeing. One of the top 5 number twos i have experienced in my life i cant lie.
I remember squating there, smiling looking around and they had a dog who was locked up in a small kennel because no one was home.
He was sitting there looking at me like
View media item 1793624
Last edited:
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Church during altar call
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I took a massive dump at the border of Montreal and America once, right after they let me into Canada. Was drinking natty lights and eating prosciutto on the ride up in a party bus. Straight demolished that bathroom and showed them what America was all about.
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I don't even want to share my story
Those bubble guts with no access to toilet moments are easily the worst experiences of my life
Those bubble guts with no access to toilet moments are easily the worst experiences of my life
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Not mines, but best I ever read.
Alright...I don't care if you guys believe me ... it's real. This is the the most embarassing thing that I've ever experienced... it was a horrible night for me.. and I'm sharing it with you guys because I don't want any of my misc brahs to have to go through this.. especially since it all could have been EASILY prevented. I have added MS paint images so that you have a better idea as to what happened. It's very long, but I'll do my best to recount all of the important details. no ****ing cliffs..... read it to save yourself from something like this...
Anyway...
If you've been following my social anxiety thread you would have learned that I got an asian girls number during my last update (the encounter wasn't recorded unfortunetely because my Camera froze). But anyway, it's been over a week and I was feeling like taking a break from exam studying, and I figured that if I didn't call her before exams were done then I wouldn't get a chance to see her until after the break (which would be too long perhaps). So I called her up and asked her if she wanted to take a break from studying and meet me for coffee. Well she said yes, and we met at a campus cafe. We had some small talk, and it went well overall. After that she said "hey my roomate is making some chinese food for dinner because her boyfriend is over, would you like to come by and try some? she usually makes way more than needed". Now at that point I felt like I had to take a *****, but there was no way I could turn down this opportunity; it seemed like she was into me and this would be a great opportunity to get to know each other further. So I decided to try and hold my crap as long as possible (I don't crap in public toilets) and accept her invitation.
Well we went back to her place, had some food (very good btw)... and ****... I had to take take a ***** really badly... and I also had to take a piss really badly (I had been holding that too since I didn't bring my pee bottles with me to the date)... I really didn't want to use her washroom because I didn't want stink the place up... but it became so unbearable to the point where I could feel the turd popping out of my rectum.. to make matters worse I was actually starting to get an erection (I'm not sure why.. but that's what happened). So I rushed to the washroom... and thus begins the worst possible scenario imagineable.
I pull down my pants step up to the toilet and I am then faced with an ominous predicament; I have to extremely badly take BOTH a pee AND a POO.... AND I have an erection.... what the **** do I do? Which do I do first??
So I bend over and try to push my erected penis down a bit to pee into the can... but as I relax my pelvic floor muscles to release the urine.. I feel my turd start to come out at the same time!
So then I'm like "f this... I'll just try and hold the pee and let the poo come out"... so I sit on the can... grasp my penis hard to try and "block" it... and I then tried to let the crap come out....that didn't work so well...
As I relaxed my anal sphincters... my pelvic floor muscles relaxed as well and piss started flying all over the floor... I started panicking at this point... so I desperately held my crap again, while I attempted to shove/bend my erect penis into the toilet. Once it was in... I tried take the piss and crap at the same time, but my *** was too far out and this massive turd started flying out missing the bowl, landing partially on the back rim and partially on the floor.
I then closed everything off again (you can't imagine the pain of repeatedly blocking yourself from peeing and pooing when you have go so badly)... wtf was I supposed to do? I either pee on her floor or poo on her floor....then out of sheer desperation and instinct an idea popped into my head:
I ran into her bathtub and let myself go there... I figured that at least this way I could rinse it all down instead of getting ***** on her floor....
At that point things get even worse...
The turd wouldn't ****ing dissolve... and the damn bish was asking me wtf I'm doing showering in her washroom....
I then answer "yea lol... I'm showering... is that ok?"...
she says: what the hell? why?? you don't think we're having sex do you???
At this point I can't even think straight and I jokingly (******edly) say: yes we are lol
she then gets mad and says: wtf? is this some kind of joke... get out of there!!
I say: no please don't come in... I'm not done yet...
At this point the hot water I was using to try and dissolve my ***** was releasing ***** smelling vapours all over the room.. and it was pretty rancid... the girl could smell it and she said: "why the hell does it smell so ****ing bad? What the hell are you doing in there???"
I say: please don't come in... trust me.. you'll regret it...
she says: **** this... get out now or I'm unlocking the door..
I beg her not too... but she loses her patience and then opens the door. She stops dead in her tracks. There before her was me standing with a pseudo-erect penis, left over fecal residue on my ***,large semi dissolved turds in her bathtub, turds on the floor beside her toilet, and pee all over the floor in front of the can... I was so ****ing embarassed... I started shivering... she looks at me while covering her mouth and nose and whispers... "wtf did you do???"...she was starting to cry... I hesitate for a bit and I try to explain myself "I tried my best ... I... I'm sorry"... She then flips out and tells me to clean up the mess or she's calling the cops. I agree to do it.
She leaves, and I grap some toilet paper... pick up the turds from the floor and bathtub, toss them in the can, and then I proceed to clean off the floor and bathtub with soap, water and alot of tissues. I tossed most of the tissues into her toilet bowl (the garbage was full eventually). I then took some perfume from the counter and tossed into the bathtub to get rid of odour. After I was done I cleaned my *** off and flushed the toilet. To my utmost dismay, my massive fecal matter bulk and the large amount of TP unded up clogging the toilet and it overflowed and started spilling crap all over the floor... I'm literally crying at that point... I look for the plunger but I couldn't find it so I put my pants on and rushed out to ask her if she had a plunger so I could fix the toilet...I see her with her roommate and her roommates bf... she's crying... as soon as she sees me she tells me to **** right now... I try to explain that the toilet is clogged... but she doesn't let me ... she says she feels threatened and she wants me out now... she graps a knife from the drawer and tells me to leave... I leave.
about a minute later I hear this loud scream coming from her dorm room (I assumed she went back to the washroom to see it covered in poo water). At that point I sprinted away as fast as possible, while swearing at myself and crying tears of frustration and embarrasment.
All of this could have ****ing been prevented if I had just brought my goddamn pee bottles!!! WTF?!?! The FIRST girl that shows interest in me.. I have to go and **** in her bathtub???? This is ****ing ******ed (yes mad).
to all you people saying "peeing in bottles is stupid/gross"... well **** that... not only is it more convenient and cleaner, but it also prevents epic disaters like this one....
This is what WOULD have happened if I had my trustee pee bottle... I would have on sat on the can and then simultaneosly peed into the bottle and pooed into the toilet. No disaster... no mess.... and none of this would have happened.
anyway... should I let things cool off for a bit and call her back? maybe to apologize/explain myself? or should i just hope I never run into her again?
EDIT: deleted pics. I know quite a few of you guys are quick to report me and want me banned
Alright...I don't care if you guys believe me ... it's real. This is the the most embarassing thing that I've ever experienced... it was a horrible night for me.. and I'm sharing it with you guys because I don't want any of my misc brahs to have to go through this.. especially since it all could have been EASILY prevented. I have added MS paint images so that you have a better idea as to what happened. It's very long, but I'll do my best to recount all of the important details. no ****ing cliffs..... read it to save yourself from something like this...
Anyway...
If you've been following my social anxiety thread you would have learned that I got an asian girls number during my last update (the encounter wasn't recorded unfortunetely because my Camera froze). But anyway, it's been over a week and I was feeling like taking a break from exam studying, and I figured that if I didn't call her before exams were done then I wouldn't get a chance to see her until after the break (which would be too long perhaps). So I called her up and asked her if she wanted to take a break from studying and meet me for coffee. Well she said yes, and we met at a campus cafe. We had some small talk, and it went well overall. After that she said "hey my roomate is making some chinese food for dinner because her boyfriend is over, would you like to come by and try some? she usually makes way more than needed". Now at that point I felt like I had to take a *****, but there was no way I could turn down this opportunity; it seemed like she was into me and this would be a great opportunity to get to know each other further. So I decided to try and hold my crap as long as possible (I don't crap in public toilets) and accept her invitation.
Well we went back to her place, had some food (very good btw)... and ****... I had to take take a ***** really badly... and I also had to take a piss really badly (I had been holding that too since I didn't bring my pee bottles with me to the date)... I really didn't want to use her washroom because I didn't want stink the place up... but it became so unbearable to the point where I could feel the turd popping out of my rectum.. to make matters worse I was actually starting to get an erection (I'm not sure why.. but that's what happened). So I rushed to the washroom... and thus begins the worst possible scenario imagineable.
I pull down my pants step up to the toilet and I am then faced with an ominous predicament; I have to extremely badly take BOTH a pee AND a POO.... AND I have an erection.... what the **** do I do? Which do I do first??
So I bend over and try to push my erected penis down a bit to pee into the can... but as I relax my pelvic floor muscles to release the urine.. I feel my turd start to come out at the same time!
So then I'm like "f this... I'll just try and hold the pee and let the poo come out"... so I sit on the can... grasp my penis hard to try and "block" it... and I then tried to let the crap come out....that didn't work so well...
As I relaxed my anal sphincters... my pelvic floor muscles relaxed as well and piss started flying all over the floor... I started panicking at this point... so I desperately held my crap again, while I attempted to shove/bend my erect penis into the toilet. Once it was in... I tried take the piss and crap at the same time, but my *** was too far out and this massive turd started flying out missing the bowl, landing partially on the back rim and partially on the floor.
I then closed everything off again (you can't imagine the pain of repeatedly blocking yourself from peeing and pooing when you have go so badly)... wtf was I supposed to do? I either pee on her floor or poo on her floor....then out of sheer desperation and instinct an idea popped into my head:
I ran into her bathtub and let myself go there... I figured that at least this way I could rinse it all down instead of getting ***** on her floor....
At that point things get even worse...
The turd wouldn't ****ing dissolve... and the damn bish was asking me wtf I'm doing showering in her washroom....
I then answer "yea lol... I'm showering... is that ok?"...
she says: what the hell? why?? you don't think we're having sex do you???
At this point I can't even think straight and I jokingly (******edly) say: yes we are lol
she then gets mad and says: wtf? is this some kind of joke... get out of there!!
I say: no please don't come in... I'm not done yet...
At this point the hot water I was using to try and dissolve my ***** was releasing ***** smelling vapours all over the room.. and it was pretty rancid... the girl could smell it and she said: "why the hell does it smell so ****ing bad? What the hell are you doing in there???"
I say: please don't come in... trust me.. you'll regret it...
she says: **** this... get out now or I'm unlocking the door..
I beg her not too... but she loses her patience and then opens the door. She stops dead in her tracks. There before her was me standing with a pseudo-erect penis, left over fecal residue on my ***,large semi dissolved turds in her bathtub, turds on the floor beside her toilet, and pee all over the floor in front of the can... I was so ****ing embarassed... I started shivering... she looks at me while covering her mouth and nose and whispers... "wtf did you do???"...she was starting to cry... I hesitate for a bit and I try to explain myself "I tried my best ... I... I'm sorry"... She then flips out and tells me to clean up the mess or she's calling the cops. I agree to do it.
She leaves, and I grap some toilet paper... pick up the turds from the floor and bathtub, toss them in the can, and then I proceed to clean off the floor and bathtub with soap, water and alot of tissues. I tossed most of the tissues into her toilet bowl (the garbage was full eventually). I then took some perfume from the counter and tossed into the bathtub to get rid of odour. After I was done I cleaned my *** off and flushed the toilet. To my utmost dismay, my massive fecal matter bulk and the large amount of TP unded up clogging the toilet and it overflowed and started spilling crap all over the floor... I'm literally crying at that point... I look for the plunger but I couldn't find it so I put my pants on and rushed out to ask her if she had a plunger so I could fix the toilet...I see her with her roommate and her roommates bf... she's crying... as soon as she sees me she tells me to **** right now... I try to explain that the toilet is clogged... but she doesn't let me ... she says she feels threatened and she wants me out now... she graps a knife from the drawer and tells me to leave... I leave.
about a minute later I hear this loud scream coming from her dorm room (I assumed she went back to the washroom to see it covered in poo water). At that point I sprinted away as fast as possible, while swearing at myself and crying tears of frustration and embarrasment.
All of this could have ****ing been prevented if I had just brought my goddamn pee bottles!!! WTF?!?! The FIRST girl that shows interest in me.. I have to go and **** in her bathtub???? This is ****ing ******ed (yes mad).
to all you people saying "peeing in bottles is stupid/gross"... well **** that... not only is it more convenient and cleaner, but it also prevents epic disaters like this one....
This is what WOULD have happened if I had my trustee pee bottle... I would have on sat on the can and then simultaneosly peed into the bottle and pooed into the toilet. No disaster... no mess.... and none of this would have happened.
anyway... should I let things cool off for a bit and call her back? maybe to apologize/explain myself? or should i just hope I never run into her again?
EDIT: deleted pics. I know quite a few of you guys are quick to report me and want me banned
Last edited:
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- Aug 16, 2012
Gas station in the Philippines.
the story - I was in a van on the way home from Baguio. Baguio is a mountainous city at the very top, so it honestly took a good 1hr and a half to go up... and the same amount of time to go down windy roads. Before departing the city my family and I had dinner in a very posh hotel, however the food there was really greasy.
Fast forward to the drive down. It was in the middle of sunset and I had to take a picture of the mountains and the sun. It was one of the greatest sights I have every wtinessed. We stopped on the side of the road to snap a few pics...
this was the pic. No filter. taken straight from my Canon t3i. Success. Beautiful right? this is where it all goes to hell.
There was a stray dog who was chasing each and every vehicle that passed by. I had a bad feeling but I had to take the pic. Then that dog spotted me. As soon as I snapped a few pics I see this dog start to dash towards me. I dunno how aggressive this dog truly was however I saw the menacing look in its eyes. I ain't taking no chances. I decide to book it back to the van. I probably ran a good 4.80 in the 40 if this was the NFL combine. I safely made it inside the van.
Thank God.
However I instantly felt a heaviness in my stomach. It seems like as I was sprinting for the van, all that pounding from running ,loosened my poo and much of the weight is ready to come out. We were still on our way down the mountains and there are no public washrooms on the way down. No gas stations. Restaurants. Nadda.
I start unbuckling my belt. unbuttoning my buttons to lessen pressure. Nothing is helping. I'm sweating. This trip was supposed to be paradise but now I'm just thinking about the comfort of my own washroom at home. Lord take me now.
Finally what seemed like an hr, we finally reached a gas station. Without any hesitations I told everyone this is where it's going to happen.
Now the washrooms in a lot of the gas stations in the Philippines is in a seperate shack. With no flush toilet. and no toilet seat neither. Luckily my dad brings a toilet seat with him whenever we go on excursions in the Philippines. (Weird? Yes. we thought he was nuts. However he always said, when you're in the Philippines - it's going to save your life. Trust me. - And boy was he right). I thank the Lord everyday for him bringing that cushioned toilet seat.
SO I unleashed hell. My eyes were watering and my toes were curling up. This, however, was one of the best feelings ever. I was so relieved. However I instantly thought - who was going to flush this thing?! The way they do it there is by manually pouring a bucket of water in the toilet, but there was no water bucket in this shack. There were no lights in this shack neither (and it was night), so I couldn't see anything, but I knew that it was a mess. I stepped out and the gas station attendant was a young 15 yr old kid and told my family that he will handle it. I took one look at him to show him that 1. I appreciated it and 2. I'm sorry dude. I shook his young, innocent hand and I tipped him 100 pesos because this was going to be a big job.
I stepped back in the van and we were off to our next destination. I was so comfortable and happy... I passed out maybe 20 minutes after this whole ordeal.
And that's my story.
cliffnotes: was in the Philippines. Had to go bad because devil dog chased me which loosened my stool. took the biggest deuce imaginable and had a 15 yr old tidy everything afterwards.
the story - I was in a van on the way home from Baguio. Baguio is a mountainous city at the very top, so it honestly took a good 1hr and a half to go up... and the same amount of time to go down windy roads. Before departing the city my family and I had dinner in a very posh hotel, however the food there was really greasy.
Fast forward to the drive down. It was in the middle of sunset and I had to take a picture of the mountains and the sun. It was one of the greatest sights I have every wtinessed. We stopped on the side of the road to snap a few pics...
this was the pic. No filter. taken straight from my Canon t3i. Success. Beautiful right? this is where it all goes to hell.
There was a stray dog who was chasing each and every vehicle that passed by. I had a bad feeling but I had to take the pic. Then that dog spotted me. As soon as I snapped a few pics I see this dog start to dash towards me. I dunno how aggressive this dog truly was however I saw the menacing look in its eyes. I ain't taking no chances. I decide to book it back to the van. I probably ran a good 4.80 in the 40 if this was the NFL combine. I safely made it inside the van.
Thank God.
However I instantly felt a heaviness in my stomach. It seems like as I was sprinting for the van, all that pounding from running ,loosened my poo and much of the weight is ready to come out. We were still on our way down the mountains and there are no public washrooms on the way down. No gas stations. Restaurants. Nadda.
I start unbuckling my belt. unbuttoning my buttons to lessen pressure. Nothing is helping. I'm sweating. This trip was supposed to be paradise but now I'm just thinking about the comfort of my own washroom at home. Lord take me now.
Finally what seemed like an hr, we finally reached a gas station. Without any hesitations I told everyone this is where it's going to happen.
Now the washrooms in a lot of the gas stations in the Philippines is in a seperate shack. With no flush toilet. and no toilet seat neither. Luckily my dad brings a toilet seat with him whenever we go on excursions in the Philippines. (Weird? Yes. we thought he was nuts. However he always said, when you're in the Philippines - it's going to save your life. Trust me. - And boy was he right). I thank the Lord everyday for him bringing that cushioned toilet seat.
SO I unleashed hell. My eyes were watering and my toes were curling up. This, however, was one of the best feelings ever. I was so relieved. However I instantly thought - who was going to flush this thing?! The way they do it there is by manually pouring a bucket of water in the toilet, but there was no water bucket in this shack. There were no lights in this shack neither (and it was night), so I couldn't see anything, but I knew that it was a mess. I stepped out and the gas station attendant was a young 15 yr old kid and told my family that he will handle it. I took one look at him to show him that 1. I appreciated it and 2. I'm sorry dude. I shook his young, innocent hand and I tipped him 100 pesos because this was going to be a big job.
I stepped back in the van and we were off to our next destination. I was so comfortable and happy... I passed out maybe 20 minutes after this whole ordeal.
And that's my story.
cliffnotes: was in the Philippines. Had to go bad because devil dog chased me which loosened my stool. took the biggest deuce imaginable and had a 15 yr old tidy everything afterwards.
- 30,817
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- Jul 14, 2004
Not mines, but best I ever read.
Alright...I don't care if you guys believe me ... it's real. This is the the most embarassing thing that I've ever experienced... it was a horrible night for me.. and I'm sharing it with you guys because I don't want any of my misc brahs to have to go through this.. especially since it all could have been EASILY prevented. I have added MS paint images so that you have a better idea as to what happened. It's very long, but I'll do my best to recount all of the important details. no ****ing cliffs..... read it to save yourself from something like this...
Anyway...
If you've been following my social anxiety thread you would have learned that I got an asian girls number during my last update (the encounter wasn't recorded unfortunetely because my Camera froze). But anyway, it's been over a week and I was feeling like taking a break from exam studying, and I figured that if I didn't call her before exams were done then I wouldn't get a chance to see her until after the break (which would be too long perhaps). So I called her up and asked her if she wanted to take a break from studying and meet me for coffee. Well she said yes, and we met at a campus cafe. We had some small talk, and it went well overall. After that she said "hey my roomate is making some chinese food for dinner because her boyfriend is over, would you like to come by and try some? she usually makes way more than needed". Now at that point I felt like I had to take a *****, but there was no way I could turn down this opportunity; it seemed like she was into me and this would be a great opportunity to get to know each other further. So I decided to try and hold my crap as long as possible (I don't crap in public toilets) and accept her invitation.
Well we went back to her place, had some food (very good btw)... and ****... I had to take take a ***** really badly... and I also had to take a piss really badly (I had been holding that too since I didn't bring my pee bottles with me to the date)... I really didn't want to use her washroom because I didn't want stink the place up... but it became so unbearable to the point where I could feel the turd popping out of my rectum.. to make matters worse I was actually starting to get an erection (I'm not sure why.. but that's what happened). So I rushed to the washroom... and thus begins the worst possible scenario imagineable.
I pull down my pants step up to the toilet and I am then faced with an ominous predicament; I have to extremely badly take BOTH a pee AND a POO.... AND I have an erection.... what the **** do I do? Which do I do first??
So I bend over and try to push my erected penis down a bit to pee into the can... but as I relax my pelvic floor muscles to release the urine.. I feel my turd start to come out at the same time!
So then I'm like "f this... I'll just try and hold the pee and let the poo come out"... so I sit on the can... grasp my penis hard to try and "block" it... and I then tried to let the crap come out....that didn't work so well...
As I relaxed my anal sphincters... my pelvic floor muscles relaxed as well and piss started flying all over the floor... I started panicking at this point... so I desperately held my crap again, while I attempted to shove/bend my erect penis into the toilet. Once it was in... I tried take the piss and crap at the same time, but my *** was too far out and this massive turd started flying out missing the bowl, landing partially on the back rim and partially on the floor.
I then closed everything off again (you can't imagine the pain of repeatedly blocking yourself from peeing and pooing when you have go so badly)... wtf was I supposed to do? I either pee on her floor or poo on her floor....then out of sheer desperation and instinct an idea popped into my head:
I ran into her bathtub and let myself go there... I figured that at least this way I could rinse it all down instead of getting ***** on her floor....
At that point things get even worse...
The turd wouldn't ****ing dissolve... and the damn bish was asking me wtf I'm doing showering in her washroom....
I then answer "yea lol... I'm showering... is that ok?"...
she says: what the hell? why?? you don't think we're having sex do you???
At this point I can't even think straight and I jokingly (******edly) say: yes we are lol
she then gets mad and says: wtf? is this some kind of joke... get out of there!!
I say: no please don't come in... I'm not done yet...
At this point the hot water I was using to try and dissolve my ***** was releasing ***** smelling vapours all over the room.. and it was pretty rancid... the girl could smell it and she said: "why the hell does it smell so ****ing bad? What the hell are you doing in there???"
I say: please don't come in... trust me.. you'll regret it...
she says: **** this... get out now or I'm unlocking the door..
I beg her not too... but she loses her patience and then opens the door. She stops dead in her tracks. There before her was me standing with a pseudo-erect penis, left over fecal residue on my ***,large semi dissolved turds in her bathtub, turds on the floor beside her toilet, and pee all over the floor in front of the can... I was so ****ing embarassed... I started shivering... she looks at me while covering her mouth and nose and whispers... "wtf did you do???"...she was starting to cry... I hesitate for a bit and I try to explain myself "I tried my best ... I... I'm sorry"... She then flips out and tells me to clean up the mess or she's calling the cops. I agree to do it.
She leaves, and I grap some toilet paper... pick up the turds from the floor and bathtub, toss them in the can, and then I proceed to clean off the floor and bathtub with soap, water and alot of tissues. I tossed most of the tissues into her toilet bowl (the garbage was full eventually). I then took some perfume from the counter and tossed into the bathtub to get rid of odour. After I was done I cleaned my *** off and flushed the toilet. To my utmost dismay, my massive fecal matter bulk and the large amount of TP unded up clogging the toilet and it overflowed and started spilling crap all over the floor... I'm literally crying at that point... I look for the plunger but I couldn't find it so I put my pants on and rushed out to ask her if she had a plunger so I could fix the toilet...I see her with her roommate and her roommates bf... she's crying... as soon as she sees me she tells me to **** right now... I try to explain that the toilet is clogged... but she doesn't let me ... she says she feels threatened and she wants me out now... she graps a knife from the drawer and tells me to leave... I leave.
about a minute later I hear this loud scream coming from her dorm room (I assumed she went back to the washroom to see it covered in poo water). At that point I sprinted away as fast as possible, while swearing at myself and crying tears of frustration and embarrasment.
All of this could have ****ing been prevented if I had just brought my goddamn pee bottles!!! WTF?!?! The FIRST girl that shows interest in me.. I have to go and **** in her bathtub???? This is ****ing ******ed (yes mad).
to all you people saying "peeing in bottles is stupid/gross"... well **** that... not only is it more convenient and cleaner, but it also prevents epic disaters like this one....
This is what WOULD have happened if I had my trustee pee bottle... I would have on sat on the can and then simultaneosly peed into the bottle and pooed into the toilet. No disaster... no mess.... and none of this would have happened.
anyway... should I let things cool off for a bit and call her back? maybe to apologize/explain myself? or should i just hope I never run into her again?
EDIT: deleted pics. I know quite a few of you guys are quick to report me and want me banned[/quote
Damn I wanna see the pics
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First day of senior year in a new high school in the Dominican Republic....woke up that day thinkin "today i got time cuz" got fresh to def , fresh cut ,fresh kicks,had the polo sport cologne makinge feel fresh i mean i felt i was on God levels had my usual crackers and hot chocolate for breakfast that day but it didnt sit well cuz i was a little nervous ..came in had all the yambs eyeballing the kid...i was on a high like no other...till the it stared bubbling...before we started class i couldnt take it anymore (never took a dump at any school i ever attended so it felt weird) went to the BR no TP...im like fml now i have to run to the office telling them i had an emergency (they all laughed) went to the BR and blew that mfer up...i mean nobody could go in there for like 2 hours...had a girl that eventually became my girlfriend that year tell me how everybody in the school already knew about my situation...couldnt find a hole deep enough to crawl in.
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Yo I'm legit tearing up at the misc story
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I was helping my homie move out of his studio and we took three cars. I made it back to his pad first and I needed to drop off my lunch, so I show up and he's not there, I call him and he said he took off to grab some food and that he would be back in an hour, my stomach was bubbling so much that a fart would've ended it for me. I thought about breaking into my homies studio since he was moving out anyways. But dude had bars on all entry ways.
I had a roll of paper towels in the back of my truck and just ran around the back of his studio and dropped my pants and pushed as hard as I could cause I didn't want it to splatter on my cheeks. It was like a faucet that was out of control. Anyways everyone made it back and since it was summer the opened up the windows to get some fresh air, the smell of my lunch lingered Into the room. I blamed it on the neighbor for letting his dog run around the lot. Lol.
I had a roll of paper towels in the back of my truck and just ran around the back of his studio and dropped my pants and pushed as hard as I could cause I didn't want it to splatter on my cheeks. It was like a faucet that was out of control. Anyways everyone made it back and since it was summer the opened up the windows to get some fresh air, the smell of my lunch lingered Into the room. I blamed it on the neighbor for letting his dog run around the lot. Lol.
alp
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In a whole foods, just ate taco bell and was trying to make it home, didn't make it there 
, had to get off on Columbus circle and run in there. Even got a little on my shorts, but luckily just bought a new pair and switched em. Was probably still smelling a little crazy in the train but I ain't give a ****, was still feeling bad and went again at home. Felt good the next day and the day after got a stomach virus
Also had bubble guts while in long Island and had to get off on the Lirr and blew up the bathroom in the Jamaica station. Actually worked out because I transferred trains to pick up the rest of my raffle win chicagos
, had to get off on Columbus circle and run in there. Even got a little on my shorts, but luckily just bought a new pair and switched em. Was probably still smelling a little crazy in the train but I ain't give a ****, was still feeling bad and went again at home. Felt good the next day and the day after got a stomach virus Also had bubble guts while in long Island and had to get off on the Lirr and blew up the bathroom in the Jamaica station. Actually worked out because I transferred trains to pick up the rest of my raffle win chicagos
alp
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al audi
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it happened when i was a landscaper way back all ill say
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kdawg
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Yeah, funny but:
No, it would have been prevented if you weren't a weirdo about using public toilets.
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thats terrible. you are terrible.
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- ammo can in fallujah
- side street in Okinawa after a hard night of drinking.... went to smash a chick 2 hours later... wiped my *** with my boxers and free balled the rest of the night, lol
- side street in Okinawa after a hard night of drinking.... went to smash a chick 2 hours later... wiped my *** with my boxers and free balled the rest of the night, lol
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Sometimes in the middle of traffic I think to myself."someone must be STRESSIN"
back in the day I drove back to Philly from Penn State to get the Easter AF1's
I stopped at McDonalds and got breakfast burritos like an idiot at 6am, bubble guts hit me about half way and I was like I can make the next rest stop, I couldn't make the next rest stop
no lie pulled over on the highway and went on the passenger side of my car, luckily it was like 730am in bumble country but the few cars that passed had to me like
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.
That was my only thought after reading that.
Also, if you haven't pooped in a third world country (hotels not included), you haven't lived.
That was my only thought after reading that.
Also, if you haven't pooped in a third world country (hotels not included), you haven't lived.
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mccarran airport, 5 minutes till boarding time. your boy had the bubble guts. let loose in the washroom and i had to go again about an hour into the flight. i upgraded my seat too so i sat at the front. i didnt want the honeys beside me and everyone else to know that i deuced so i went to use the washroom at the back of the plane.
vegas
vegas
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bruh this thread...that misc story 
PFL will contribute
PFL will contribute
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paging the dude who poops himself in the shower because he likes how it feels.
90% sure fully clothed.
im dead serious that was a post.
mine was in a trailer porta potty thing at Tomorrowworld festival in Georgia.
it was awful.
90% sure fully clothed.
im dead serious that was a post.
mine was in a trailer porta potty thing at Tomorrowworld festival in Georgia.
it was awful.
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alp
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that's a goal in life? Taking a **** in a third world country?Similar threads
