give me some advice...

blacklion23 said:

I was with the same chick from the beginning of 9th grade up to our sophomore year of college. She was a good girl that didn't party or go out unless with me. I was the one partying and going out during high school, the roles completely switched in college. I was all caught up into her but still in my ways. I guess I was a bit controlling, mainly because I was allowed to. My word was always bond. That went out the window after she start hanging with certain females and start getting all this attention from dudes. I'm in the dorm room waiting for late night calls while she's out shaking her *** or doing whatever. This became a problem for me and we broke up only to get back together a few months later before sophomore year started. By then the control was in her hand. I knew it was over once she asked if it was ok if she took money from other dudes. One day we were suppose to hook up and she wouldn't answer for hours. She came by later and broke up with me. Spent the next few days trying to get her back. After ignoring my calls for a while she finally answered and said look I have a boyfriend, I stuck with you for so long because you were my identity in high school. Cue the Ralph Wiggum heartbreak gif. Took months to get over that. Smashing didn't even help. She would call months later to apologize and explain. In the end I'm grateful our relationship happened, not sad that it ended. I learned a lot from it, she was a light for me.


I do believe, though, things would've been different had we went to the same college.

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CJ616 said:

 
All of this, OP.

I was in the exact same boat, man.  Started dating my HS sweetheart middle of junior year, we broke up the Summer before I left for college.  She used to trip on me about the most petty ****, so I basically told her that if she's gonna be trippin about this little **** while we're both in the same city, how should I expect you to act while I'm gone away around all these chicks on an everyday basis?  I decided that I'd rather not deal with all of that, and just went in Single.  Don't really regret it to be honest.

OP, I know you're young, but what you're basically going to have to do is figure out if you REALLY wanna be with this chick.  Could you REALLY see yourself being with her in the long run?  If the answer is yes, stick it out.  You don't wanna miss out on a potential wifey for the sake of chasing *** in college.  Plus, if she ain't the one, it'll work itself out regardless.  Just don't knock her up.

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RZA998 said:

i'm going to school in Long Island. she is going to school in NYC don't know which school and for DC she might go to Howard or Georgetown.

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The adult in me wants to tell you to move on, experience life, enjoy college, dabble, but keep your girl near (as a close childhood friend/homegirl) just in case she's really the one you wanna spend your adult life with. But of course this calls for being okay with her enjoying college and dabbling as well.

But as a teenager in love, I would tell you to stay with her through it all.

It's one of those situatuons where you gotta make the decision with your brain rather than your heart.

Good luck fam, just remember that at the end of the day, nothing stays bad. Life goes on. Your young so you're gonna make mistakes eventually, just gotta learn from em

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FlyNY said:

Ok so as I said before, there's many ways to approach this.

If she goes to school in NY, there might not be much to worry about. Yall will still be in the same city so it can definitely work. Easy. But there are the normal road blocks in that situations, like other females/males. Parties/drugs/alcohol etc.

If you stay with her, and she goes to DC...you're in for a ride, man. Now I do not know your relationship, so I'm not gonna sit here and say whether or not that ride will be worth it. But from a grown man talking to a young dude, I can honestly tell you that you PROBABLY MIGHT Not be with that girl for the rest of your life. Right now, of course you're gonna believe you will. But realistically speaking, chances are low. But it DOES HAPPEN. Don't get me wrong. If you are a strong dude, and she's a strong female and neither of you get distracted by others, and don't become a victim to temptation, and don't plan on being with any other person (which sounds crazy when the people in question are teenagers ) then it can definitely work. But to get to the specifics, you might be going to a community college in LI (congrats to you by the way. Education is key in today's society). I THINK I saw you mention something about how you might transfer after the first year. If that's the case, you can do that, and possibly try to transfer to your girl's college in DC. Boom, reunited. Now let's move to her side of the situation. She's going to DC. Howard and Georgetown are 2 monsters in one city. I've dabbled in various schools for recreational and social purposes so I know how a lot schools get down. When you talk about Georgetown, we talking about athletes that might serve as a threat to your relationship. When we talk about Howard, we talking about an HBCU, kind of a party school, where there might be ALOT of threats to your relationship. It's allegedly a party school, ratio is like 70/30 females, and worst case scenario, your girl might get tempted by some frat cat. But that takes me back to my last statement about how well she deals with temptation and vowing to not mess with anyone else. Now DC on a whole from what I've heard is a city filled with young professionals = a lot of threats. But don't let that steer you the wrong way. Because on the flipside, I'm sure you're gonna have your share of issues as well. You're gonna be taking classes at a community college which Im sure will be filled with females who try to give you play. Your girl is 4 hours away, then the thought kicks in "she won't find out" but then let's say you make that move and mess around and she doesn't find out, within a couple weeks, you're gonna be thinking "wait...if I cheated on her, and she didn't find out....how do I know that she's not cheating on me". That guilt starts to kick in and then you start blaming her for **** that she may not have even done. BUT it depends on the person. I know, me personally, I can't deal with that headache or stress (if she goes to a school far away)...now on the flipside, do you drive? If you do, and she goes to school on DC, are you ok with making that drive every weekend? If so, that might help things out a lot.

At the end of the day, The best advice I can give you is to talk to your girl about the situation. Ask her what's gonna happen if she goes out of state. Ask her what she's gonna do in certain situations. Then ask her how would she feel if you acted a certain way in certain situations. Everything can be solved in a conversation.

The adult in me wants to tell you to move on, experience life, enjoy college, dabble, but keep your girl near (as a close childhood friend/homegirl) just in case she's really the one you wanna spend your adult life with. But of course this calls for being okay with her enjoying college and dabbling as well.

But as a teenager in love, I would tell you to stay with her through it all.

It's one of those situatuons where you gotta make the decision with your brain rather than your heart.

Good luck fam, just remember that at the end of the day, nothing stays bad. Life goes on. Your young so you're gonna make mistakes eventually, just gotta learn from em

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EyeSeeSoles said:

but if you guys don't go your separate ways you'll always wonder, what if. Sometimes sticking together stops you from becoming a better you .

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6 rings MJ said:

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RZA998 said:

i'm in High School, in my senior year. my girlfriend have been together for a year now and she is always supportive of me, always there for me and gives me great solutions for my problems. she understands me when nobody else does. but the thing is that for some reason i just want to live life and not be held down in a relationship while in college. like i love her but i just want to experience life bruhs. she is the first girl i ever dated too. anybody want to give me some advice ? 

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