Everyone busy...you guys suck lol
I think its time I contribute to TAY. I know some of you may be familiar with my situation in another thread, but there's also been other things as far as my dating life is concerned.
In the pof thread I posted about my German woman. Shes half German half Thai, but looks mostly Asian. Shes a masochistic, cool as **** etc. The last time I posted about her, we were spending alot of time together. Once she realized how much time we were spending together, she freaked out a bit. The longer we knew each other the more and more she began to tell me things. She never loved a man or even real feelings for. She always left the guys she been with and they always wanted her and she never really wanted them. She told me I was temporary and eventually she'll leave me too. She said im not her type and that im better off with a woman better for me. So im like "cool". Because of my legal situation im not looking for long term anyway and im just enjoying my with with her. But at the same time, I have no issue with showing affection or even liking a person. I told her im not like those guys shes been with and I have no issue with letter her go, and I may be the one to end it. She laughed and said no way anyone would leave her.
When she realized how much time we were spending together and got spooked, she said she needed to go on dates with other guys to get me off her mind. So she went on a pof date. The next morning she said even though she was on that date she was only thinking about me and she realized im who she wanted. When she told me I kind of gave her the cold shoulder and just said "ok". So she opened up a lil bit more after that, then drew back again. One time we were im a hotel room after some drinking and hookah. We started having sex and she jumped up, put her clothes on and said "no no no. This feels different". She said she cant do it anymore. So I told her ok, get the F out and she left. About 15mins later she comes back. We talked about it for a bit and what her issue is etc. She wanted to try. Try and stay with a guy and not run like she usually does. I asked if shes just using me to teach her how to love and when shes done with me she leaves? She said its something like that and im like "cool".
She has an ex that she would visit every year in another state. That ex is one she said is the only man she had any type of feeling for but she bounced on him. Any time she dated someone she'd break up with them to go see him. And its been that way for about 8 years. She wanted to see him but didnt want to let me go so soon. I told her to go see him no questions asked. But if she ***** him raw im not having sex with her again. She was happy. She gets to keep me and see her ex. So she planned to go see him in Feb. I told her not around vday or my birthday. Those days were mine, So she tried to plan for early Feb. Time goes by and she didnt go. Around 1.5 weeks before Vday, I tell her im planning a trip to ny after vday. Vday comes, we go out and have a good time. Then she tells me she has the following weekend off, which is rare right now for her to have the weekend off because of her work schedule. She works alot. Sometimes 32 hours str8. So a few days before I leave for ny she gets upset because I didnt cancel my trip to ny to spend the weekend with her. She said she canceled her trip to see her ex for me/us and that seeing him was important to them both. I told her to go see her ex and dont let me stop her from doing what she wants. Yet, she still tried to justify her selfish feelings about me not canceling my ny trip. So I tell her its time to wrap it up. I was ready to let her go. I would miss her dearly, but im not dealing with this type of drama and stress.
A few days later she comes around again. At this point, she wants to continue seeing me, but she says shes reverting back to her old self. Thing is, once I get ahold of her mind and body again, she'll be right back where she left off. But I want the old her. The old her was fun and adventure. Now "feelings" are coming into play. I wouldnt mind locking her down, but since she hasnt opened herself in relationships before she doesnt know how to deal with certain aspects of a relationship a normal 34yo would. So it would be like dating a 20yo. She seems to do well for herself, has a Porsche, BMWs etc, but her relationship experience lacks. I feel ill need to let her go soon. But its going to suck cause she has daddy and abandonment issues. And for her to feel how she does about me and then I leave will suck. Maybe I should have her leave me?
gif for the beastEdited by Dropten - 2/25/16 at 10:39am