When is it okay to finally turn your back on your family?

Remember you don't choose your family but you do choose who you surround yourself with. It's not your fault your mom gave birth to you and has her demons. Either you help her through it and reconcile or you keep her away and better yourself.

Two hurt people can't overcome the pain. Do what is best for you.
 
The longer you stay the harder it is to not blame yourself and move on once you're out of the relationship / environment.

I was in what I now know is a "toxic environment" for about 6 years, OP. I have no good memories of my Mother after I turned 13. Likely because I began resembling my father once I hit puberty. They divorced and she hates him.

But even to this day I'm towards the end of moving on.. A lot of the time I get dragged back in for a day or two. Depressed. Wondering "Why?"
 
I grew up movin around every 10 months for 17 yearS. aint no thang for me to cut someone off especially a family member. Im an only child, i grew up alone and thats somethin ill never put my son thru.

In other words, i grew up alone, the hell i need someone for??
 
Last edited:
spizike231 said:
Haven't spoken to my Mother in 2 years. Probably more. By her choice. Many attempts made on my end to talk to her and move on, but to no avail. She chose her boyfriend over me. Kicked me out when I made $400 / month with no car and no place to go.

Have gone to counseling for how things ended. I needed an outside place to tell me for sure, based on FACTS of what happened, if I was at fault at all.. At the end of it, my counselor sort of shrugged and asked if I was telling her everything. I said yeah, and she was baffled.

I don't want her in my life. I don't want her in my future kids' life.

I learned that if it's not good, get out, man.. Blood doesn't make family to me. Being there and treating people like family makes family to me. If I only chose my family by my bloodline, I'd have a lot less "family".
Click to expand...

you doing good now though?
 
Wavy Daddy said:
I grew up movin around every 10 months for 17 yearS. aint no thang for me to cut someone off especially a family member. Im an only child, i grew up alone and thats somethin ill never put my son thru.

In other words, i grew up alone, the hell i need someone for??
Click to expand...

do you ever feel guilty for leaving them...
 
I've been turned my back on my Fam. My mother is the only one I care for.

Kind of sucks cause I never had that feeling of having a family because of this. I've noticed that I also get really attached to my significant others family. Which is bad cause we eventually break up, but I guess thats my way of trying to make up for not having one.
 
Real talk idk what i would do without my family.

To be more specific, lil bro, my mom and dad. My cousins, uncles, aunts and everybody else- i could care less
 
PeterJamesThe3rd said:
do you ever feel guilty for leaving them...
Click to expand...

I've never left my immediate family per say just keep my distance.

But i do wana relocate to another state for the simple fact that i wont feel obligated to kick it wit anyone.

Ive had family sell me out and snitch
And i got homies that kept it solid.
 
PeterJamesThe3rd said:
spizike231 said:
Haven't spoken to my Mother in 2 years. Probably more. By her choice. Many attempts made on my end to talk to her and move on, but to no avail. She chose her boyfriend over me. Kicked me out when I made $400 / month with no car and no place to go.

Have gone to counseling for how things ended. I needed an outside place to tell me for sure, based on FACTS of what happened, if I was at fault at all.. At the end of it, my counselor sort of shrugged and asked if I was telling her everything. I said yeah, and she was baffled.

I don't want her in my life. I don't want her in my future kids' life.

I learned that if it's not good, get out, man.. Blood doesn't make family to me. Being there and treating people like family makes family to me. If I only chose my family by my bloodline, I'd have a lot less "family".
Click to expand...

you doing good now though?
Click to expand...

After 2 years?

I'm finally coming to the ending stretch. Trying to get that last bit out.

Most days I'm good, some days I randomly start driving by my Moms house (it's like 10 minutes from mine) and through my old neighborhood.. Wondering what the f*** went wrong.

I'm almost there. Hell, maybe it's something I'll never be over or done with. I don't know. But I know I don't need her anymore.
 
PeterJamesThe3rd said:
sorry bro
Click to expand...
it's all good. cliche as it sounds but doing what makes you happy really is the solution to some problems. 
EyeSeeSoles said:
 I've noticed that I also get really attached to my significant others family. Which is bad cause we eventually break up, but I guess thats my way of trying to make up for not having one.
Click to expand...
damn hit the feels with this. 

I'm lucky and grateful for having 3 dope *** brothers and a chill mom but I wish I had some cool funny uncles, crazy funny aunts, cool cousins to chill with. being mexican and seeing almost every mexican family I come across be tight knit and loving hits the heart sometimes 
tired.gif
 
 
I don't believe in cutting off family, especially immediate family. No matter how upset with them I am, at the end of the day I can't cut them off completely.
 
EyeSeeSoles said:
I've been turned my back on my Fam. My mother is the only one I care for.

Kind of sucks cause I never had that feeling of having a family because of this. I've noticed that I also get really attached to my significant others family. Which is bad cause we eventually break up, but I guess thats my way of trying to make up for not having one.
Click to expand...


damn........:frown:
 
Yeah man it sucks. I'd love to be close to both my exes families and I probably could be. I just don't want anything to do with my exes. Being cool with their peeps will mean running in them or something. Sadly this means I had to eventually just fade away and fall back.

Sucks cause they all mad cool and def made me feel like apart of something I've never had.

Guess I'll settle for y'all bums for now [emoji]9786[/emoji]️
 
sorry to hear that brother...i would go no contact.

sounds like she might have narcissistic personality disorder...some characteristics of npd: demeaning, criticizes, compares you to others and lets you know in more ways than one that you are not up to her standards. Makes you feel like a failure, is really good at manipulation, is easily offended, privately opinionated but will blast people behind doors, constantly finds faults in you, makes you anxious or feel like walking on egg shells and pretty much acts the world revolves around her.
 
Wayniac211 said:
Most of its learned behavior. Removing yourself can bandaid the pain but it's always there.
Fixing yourself towards being more forgiving is an option. Sometimes people are not aware of the pain they inflict. Idk.. Keep ure head u OP
Click to expand...

QFT
 
AZwildcats said:
I don't believe in cutting off family, especially immediate family. No matter how upset with them I am, at the end of the day I can't cut them off completely.
Click to expand...
Have you experienced any traumatic situations as a result of something they did? If not, real easy to make that claim
 
PeterJamesThe3rd said:
So the idea of mothers is idealized in our culture. We are taught out mothers do no wrong, we should love them, care for them and look out for them. But some mothers are genuinely bad, evil, and toxic people. I look back and I have a lot of good memories with my father (RIP) but with my mother almost all of my memories of her are bad. Constantly over reacting, putting me down, starting fights , taking advantage of. When is it okay to say enough is enough and cut even your mother off if she treats your poorly constantly.
Click to expand...

Whenever the **** you want to bro. It doesn't matter who the person is, once they get to a place of constant disrespect and violation you have a right as a human being to not want to deal with them anymore. The people who say "oh that your moms bs" obviously don't know what you and many others are dealing with. There are mothers out there who allowed their boyfriends to rape their kids. Some have sold their kids for drugs and money, some have even killed and molested their own kids.

If it is too much for you to bear cut it the **** off and don't look back, and don't feel bad either.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

nako xl
Is Nike no longer as cool as it used to be?
12 13 14
Replies
346
Views
24K
johnnyredstorm
johnnyredstorm
dblplay1212
StockX scamming? How is this legal?
2 3
Replies
51
Views
5K
aepps20
aepps20
you go boy
Need your Prayers for my Dad
3 4 5
Replies
100
Views
7K
ajiiiplatinum
ajiiiplatinum
Mokorider
Relocation opportunities worth the shot or not? vol. share your experience(s)
2
Replies
47
Views
7K
datznasty
datznasty
B
Black woman calls cops only to be killed by cops.
Replies
11
Views
2K
1995
1995

The ultimate sneaker enthusiast community.

NikeTalk was created as a way of giving back to both the sneaker enthusiast community and to the greater global community of which we are all a part.

NikeTalk is NOT affiliated with Nike Inc. in any way, shape, or form. All opinions expressed herein do not necessarily reflect those of Nike, Inc.

© 1999-2024 NikeTalk.com

Share this page

Back
Top Bottom