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Only once with a cousin of mine, and even then I couldn't cut him off even when the rest of the family did. I don't operate that way DC
When is it okay to finally turn your back on your family?
- Thread in 'General' Thread starter Started by BaltimoreLove,
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Only once with a cousin of mine, and even then I couldn't cut him off even when the rest of the family did. I don't operate that way DC
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It is true man
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This. Hearing stories like these makes me grateful that I have really amazing parents. We take it for granted but yeah, NPD has many levels and it goes as far as bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder. People like this can be absolutely toxic. They're basically like emotion vampires, they'll suck the life out of you until there is nothing left. When it's your mom it's extra challenging.
The advice I always hear about dealing with people with narcissists is to just cut them out of your life, but it's hard when it's your mom.
My wife hasn't spoken to her mom in over 10 years. More my wife's choice but her mom has really made no attempt to reach out or connect. She said her mom might be bipolar and she had a very painful and traumatic childhood because of it. Problem is, she exhibits some of that same behavior from time to time and she doesn't understand it.
I recommend keeping contact with your mom to a bare minimum and then seek some counseling. There's probably a ton of history you have that you've just toughed out but it will always mess with your perception of you don't face it.
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I never surround myself around anyone with bad energy, doesn't matter if you're family or not. OP sometimes you have to cut people off for your own peace and sanity.
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I don't **** with my brother at all
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inwont ask why .How do you handle carry yourself when your around him at a family gathering n such?
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I don't he's been completely zoned out of that sort of thing. Partially done by himself from the people that will still accept him and then me and my Dad have just given up
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I see.
Top Boy
formerly jay patt
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Moms always tried to turn me and my siblings against each other (it worked for years), was never there for us, etc... the gamut of trash parenting.
Im cordial with her because she's my mother, and admittedly she's been trying for years to right her wrongs, but my brain has already dismissed her. I feel nothing for her like she was a stranger.
Me and my brother are cool.. Would do almost anything for him and vice-versa. Can be a downer at times but I understand he's been going through a lot physically and mentally. He knows im there for him.
My sister was a scumbag when we were kids... Always causing problems, my dad trying his hardest to provide us a sense of stability and a good well rounded education (im in Computer Science and my brother is smart as ****) and she seemed hell bent on tearing that all down, etc.. Definitely took after our mother. I don't really talk to her. Cordial, but feel nothing.
So my dad and my brother I have wavey relationships with. My mother and sister... if they died I'd probably shrug my shoulders and go about my biz.
Im cordial with her because she's my mother, and admittedly she's been trying for years to right her wrongs, but my brain has already dismissed her. I feel nothing for her like she was a stranger.
Me and my brother are cool.. Would do almost anything for him and vice-versa. Can be a downer at times but I understand he's been going through a lot physically and mentally. He knows im there for him.
My sister was a scumbag when we were kids... Always causing problems, my dad trying his hardest to provide us a sense of stability and a good well rounded education (im in Computer Science and my brother is smart as ****) and she seemed hell bent on tearing that all down, etc.. Definitely took after our mother. I don't really talk to her. Cordial, but feel nothing.
So my dad and my brother I have wavey relationships with. My mother and sister... if they died I'd probably shrug my shoulders and go about my biz.
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I don't think I could turn my back away from my immediate family.
I may butt heads with my Mom a lot. But her way of parenting/communicating was how she was raised. Now, that I understand why she raised me the way she did, the more tolerable I am.
I may butt heads with my Mom a lot. But her way of parenting/communicating was how she was raised. Now, that I understand why she raised me the way she did, the more tolerable I am.
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I feel it Jay.
My brother is a known thief . I'll keep it at that.
My brother is a known thief . I'll keep it at that.
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I try to think that way to be tolerant of certain people but at some point you have to hold people accountable for their actions. It sucks that people have a bad upbringing but I feel like at some point it would make you a more empathetic and compassionate person rather than mistreating the people closest to you. I actually ended a relationship because the girl had two kids and I felt like she didn't know how to treat them right. She loved them, but she was immature and took all her **** out on them and I couldn't imagine having a kid with her and then letting her treat our child like that. I know she's in a better place now and the kids are doing ok but I couldn't be a part of it.
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I completely agree with you.
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Just be cordial and realize saying hi doesn't make you guys best buds. Often times these kinds of people take cordiality as an opening, but just be firm and shut it down. No reason to ruin a family event though.
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Word.
Top Boy
formerly jay patt
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Exactly. It took me years of personal development to get to this point
Keeps things from being awkward if you're at least on a one word basis
BaltimoreLove
formerly peterjamesthe3rd
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I been looking at all the signs add up to that... i thought it might be dementia but its that...
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Stop asking for money on the internet guy. It sounds to me like you're not really ready to move out ya moms crib son.
Don't be taking "jobs" that don't pay if you have no funds saved up to get you thru it.
Don't be taking "jobs" that don't pay if you have no funds saved up to get you thru it.
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All teachers I know that need money during the summer either teach summer school or pick up an extra job during the summer like tutoring.
BaltimoreLove
formerly peterjamesthe3rd
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We do teach suring the summer, just no pay until september
BaltimoreLove
formerly peterjamesthe3rd
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'
here are some of the programs details...
In late June, you’ll begin your commitment with a rigorous, six-week pre-service training program that is centered on field experience. You will study proven teaching techniques that great teachers use every day to advance student learning and can expect to practice these techniques intensively, both with peers and with real students in summer school classrooms.
Rather than overwhelming you with training that is a mile wide but an inch deep, we focus first on mastery of four foundational teaching skills before shifting to more advanced practices. Outstanding local teachers will prepare you to manage a classroom, to deliver the content your students must learn, and to keep students focused on meeting high academic expectations. You must demonstrate emerging proficiency in these fundamental skills by the end of pre-service training to earn teaching eligibility for the fall.
Pre-service training is extremely demanding, and you must attend sessions five days per week from approximately 7:00 am to 7:00 pm, with the potential for additional workshops and events. Due to the critical importance of pre-service training, you cannot miss any portion. Attendance is mandatory every day.
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Was wondering when someone would bring this up [emoji]128514[/emoji][emoji]128514[/emoji][emoji]128514[/emoji]
Just throw a gofundme in after a sad story that has nothing to do with said story.
I see you OP
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I had to leave my family because it got so bad I was hospitalized for anger and the way they have treated me when I was young.
It really sucks to write this but I don't hate my sister. I absolutely despise her. She would run through a wall for her friends but she never did anything for me. She never was there for me as well or was ever supportive. I haven't spoken to her for 3 years now and I do not feel any kind of remorse or guilt. I wouldn't even acknowledge her if I saw her walking down the street.
The only thing that I have tied between my sister and I is a student loan that she helped co-sign for me 10 years ago. The remaining balance is about $6500 and I am DETERMINED to paid this off in full by this year. That way, I can text her and tell her that it's been paid off, thank you for helping me co-sign 10 years and you can go f off with your life. I have prepared this text message for a very long time now.
I don't talk to my parents either. I don't talk to my mother because she would just bring me down all the time. I would always be compared to my sister and it was not even close. My sister was going to make it and I am the black sheep in the family. Everything I did, I would just be put down. It could be an Asian thing but it was pretty deliberate they would target me. Oh, it doesn't help that I smoke weed. I still remember the day I absolutely lost my mind. I was smoking in the backyard and came back inside. My mother was upstairs and somehow ended up smelling weed all the way from downstairs. All I remember is her giving the :x face and then saying it smells in the living room. I just remember screaming and shouting profanities and it just went downhill from there.
Sometimes, this is just the way it is. Being Chinese, it is all about family. Unfortunately, my family just hates each other. Especially my dad's side. They all suck. I just had to come to the realization that whether it be the family or not, if you are a terrible person, I will not associate myself with you at all. Do I feel bad that I haven't spoken to my parents in some time? Of course I do! I know they're getting older and each passing day is another day where I don't see them but the wounds are still healing and they haven't changed. And I will NOT come in contact with these kinds of toxic people to bring me down.
It really sucks to write this but I don't hate my sister. I absolutely despise her. She would run through a wall for her friends but she never did anything for me. She never was there for me as well or was ever supportive. I haven't spoken to her for 3 years now and I do not feel any kind of remorse or guilt. I wouldn't even acknowledge her if I saw her walking down the street.
The only thing that I have tied between my sister and I is a student loan that she helped co-sign for me 10 years ago. The remaining balance is about $6500 and I am DETERMINED to paid this off in full by this year. That way, I can text her and tell her that it's been paid off, thank you for helping me co-sign 10 years and you can go f off with your life. I have prepared this text message for a very long time now.
I don't talk to my parents either. I don't talk to my mother because she would just bring me down all the time. I would always be compared to my sister and it was not even close. My sister was going to make it and I am the black sheep in the family. Everything I did, I would just be put down. It could be an Asian thing but it was pretty deliberate they would target me. Oh, it doesn't help that I smoke weed. I still remember the day I absolutely lost my mind. I was smoking in the backyard and came back inside. My mother was upstairs and somehow ended up smelling weed all the way from downstairs. All I remember is her giving the :x face and then saying it smells in the living room. I just remember screaming and shouting profanities and it just went downhill from there.
Sometimes, this is just the way it is. Being Chinese, it is all about family. Unfortunately, my family just hates each other. Especially my dad's side. They all suck. I just had to come to the realization that whether it be the family or not, if you are a terrible person, I will not associate myself with you at all. Do I feel bad that I haven't spoken to my parents in some time? Of course I do! I know they're getting older and each passing day is another day where I don't see them but the wounds are still healing and they haven't changed. And I will NOT come in contact with these kinds of toxic people to bring me down.
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mans panhandling on NT
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More power to you man. It pains me more to have to deal with folks that have betrayed me and having to see them/deal with them consistently hurts more than cutting them off.
Sometimes folks need and deserve to be cut off.
But there is no right/wrong answer here, whatever works for you
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