Worst Date Stories...

this gorgeous girl from college. Always wanted to get with her but I had a gf she knew and it just never happened...

anyways a year or two later we're both living in NY-ish. (I'm on Long island...)

So I'm plottin. 1st month there, I cop tickets to Jay Z's "answer the call 9/11 concert".. this was a few years ago. Spent a grip on tickets too.

Drove from long island to Brooklyn to meet at her spot, get drunk, and catch a train to MSG. This is my first month living in NY.... I'm so psyched to see her I don't pay much attention to where I park down the street from her place.

We drink at her place and on the train, dance at the concert and kick it after. She's throwing good vibe... We get back to her place late and it's like 3am, as we get off the train she warns me that she's recently broke up with some crazy Jamaican who "passionately" waits on her stoop some nights to make sure she gets home okay. I'm like ****... here we go.

Thankfully dude took a night off. I'm thinking I'll just take my shot.

We get upstairs and her male best friend is staying with her who's... well her male best friend... and instead of offering me the bed with her she offers me the other half of the couch where he's sleeping. I pass... at this point I'm smacked too. mad disappointing....

Now the ****** up part begins... I'm pretty faded at this point, I leave her place looking for my car and my phone dies. I spend about an hour drunk walking the streets of bed stuy with my car's security chirp thing trying to remember where I parked til like 4am or so... ****** is lookin at me walkin back and forth... I'm like ****. and the worst part is I can't even remember which brownstone is hers because they all look the same.

Eventually though by clicking that security thing, my car alarm goes off down the block and I find my car. thankfully, safely make it home.

we talk here and there but never kick it again. she gets married soon after and I never saw her again.


Cliffs:
take girl to concert to see Hov, Beyonce, Cudi, Kanye, THE WORKS
She doesn't give me the cheeks
I walk around bed stuy drunk and nervous at 3am looking for my car

You know for a second I thought I didn't really have any nightmare dating stories, but then I realized I was repressing this one  :

Met a girl on POF years ago.  I had just gotten out of a long-term relationship and was looking for a rebound.  We chatted for a few days; she seemed cool enough and had a cute face.  She worked at the mall by where we live and proposed the idea of me picking her up after work and driving out to the beach.  I was down.  So at this point I'm feelin' myself as I'm getting ready that night.  The prospect of new yambs after being in a 3+ year relationship had this song playing in my head as I'm driving to grab her at the mall:



I'm chilling in the mall parking lot and she texts me that she's getting out of work.  I tell her where I'm parked and she says she'll be there soon.  As soon as I see her my triumphant Dipset anthem quickly turned to this:



This girl had been working the angles better than a geometry teacher.  220+ pounds, easily.  I realize the errors in my ways, but it's too late now...she sees me.  She gets in the car and I start driving to the beach.  All things considered, I'm making the best of this situation.  She's easy enough to talk to and I keep telling myself that I'll never have to see her after this date.  I figured I could at least try to get some top to soften the blow.  So we get to the beach and it's pitch black out.  As soon as we get out of the car a cop pulls up and asks us what we're doing there after dark.  We tell him we were just gonna go sit by the water and talk.  Cop's nice enough, but he's not having it.  He tells us we can't be here after dark and that we'd have to find somewhere else to go.  ****.  So now I'm scrambling for ideas.  Lord knows I don't want to be seen in public with this girl, and I definitely can't take her back to my place.  We finally settle on a side street near her house.  We get in the backseat and smoke some weed.  After a few minutes I make a move.  We start making out.  I get her top off and I'm doing what I can to make the best of this situation.  I go to whip it out, but she stops me and tells me that her friends invited us out to a party near her. She tells me if I go with her she'll do it there.  FFFFUUUUUUUU.  I make up an excuse and tell her I have to pick up my brother from the airport later that night and I can't go to the party.  I campaign for top in the backseat, but she's not having it.  I just ended up driving her back to her house so another friend could pick her up and bring her to the party.  The next morning she texts me a bunch of nudes, to which I don't reply back.  She didn't put up a fight and we never saw each other again.  From that moment forward, I tightened up my screening process when it comes to meeting girls online.

Oh man I missed the "my roommate was poking me with a broomstick" part

I have so many, give me a moment to recollect.... Hold on...

All buddy had to do was drive to the party with her, get the brains, then dip

AdobeCS4 said:

All buddy had to do was drive to the party with her, get the brains, then dip

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Nah, b. Wasn't gonna be that easy.  She wanted me to chill, meet her friends, hang out for a while, etc.  It's not like she was just gonna run straight to the bathroom and top me off.  I wasn't trying to be seen like that.  It was more worth it to go home and fap than to deal with the embarrassment.

AdobeCS4 said:

All buddy had to do was drive to the party with her, get the brains, then dip

Click to expand...

With a 220lb behemoth? nah. There was no way she was gonna top him off outside and go into the party. She would have made him atleast go in the party with her first. He made the right call.

Swift thinking comparison disaster most def averted. You lowkey took a W all things considered

Quite honestly I have had pretty good luck with dates. As far as the bad ones they pretty much all relate to my youth and being very, very broke.

I took this one chick out to a movie when I was flat broke, I had already hit a couple of times so I had no intention of spending any money on her. We go to the movies, and I decide I don't want to spend/have the money to spend on a movie for us so I say lets walk around? She is down with it and keeps on coming up with ideas on **** to do, eventually I ask her to dance for me outside a bar. She proceeds to go down on me in the alley, but after wants to get drinks........ We go to this cowboy joint and cover was like 10$ a head. Man that **** hurt my pockets, add to the fact she was a 6 on a good day.....We watched some lame country music and then took her back to her crib and smashed while her kid was asleep in the next room.

While stuffing her walls, my face came in contact with her sofa and the smell that radiated off that thing petrifies me to this day, it smelled like the smell your balls have after hooping for a couple of hour- infinite amounts of sweat, grime and struggle that had never been washed before. I didn't even cum, faked an orgasm, put my pants on and never saw her again.

TroyD said:

Met this joint online. Cute joint nice eyes. Exchange numbers and all that. We hang out in the city. It was iiight. Then towards the end of the date shes talking about wanting to smash. So im like bet im wit it. We go and hit up the telly. I start finger poppin. She tops me off then swallows. I take a break to recharge then start going to work. I had her on her stomach and went at her that way. Bruh I could smell her a hole. Like I could smell the **** man. Jesus Christ it was the most foulest thing i ever experienced during all my sexual encounters. It honestly turned me off a lot. I got limp after that and couldn't even continue knocking it down

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Yall don't be showering my dude? It may sound crazy, but that is a real fear of mine. Meeting up with a chick for the first time and her stuff smelling like hot garbage. I always insist on showers before anything happens :x

Got a few stories. Don't feel like typing much.

Took this 1 chick out 1 time, this ***** talked so much the **** broke my reality. Time stood still, I was like is the ***** really talking this much or am I tripping.smh she hit several subjects in several languages in 7 seconds. I'm sitting there trying not to lose consciousness.smh


Ended the date, tried to get the guts. Failed. I don't take many L's but when I do... I really don't understand why. What you thought I took you out for? To show you a good time? You shoulda already have planned to hide the salami after. Common sense.

I'm done

All my dates been good except for this one short/confusing saga.

Was sick from work one day and decided to go to lunch with fine Asian chick from Tinder. Went back to her apartment after lunch we are just talking/chilling and she tells me her and her friend are looking for someone to have threesome with. We were vibing but I don't make move because I'm sick and she understands and thanks me. I figure I put in my time with this one for the threesome since I've never had one.

Second date we meet for drinks after work and we were vibing again. I'm walking her back to her apartment and go to kiss her. She stops me says she doesn't do PDA. Takes me to this parking garage and starts making out with me there. I get hard, she feels it, unzips my pants and starts doming me up right there in the parking garage. So I'm like, sweet, I'm gonna bang her next time.

So third date, wasn't even a date actually, she takes a cab over to my place at 2:30 AM and even self-describes the encounter as booty call via text before she comes over. I was with it. Had her naked in my bed except for her panties and we were making out for a while but she refused to have sex with me because she "just met someone on Tinder a week before me who she had sex with and she wasn't the type to have sex with two people at the same time...she really liked me though so let's see where things go." I even tried to eat her out, got close, but she wouldn't allow me to remove her panties. So she ends up sucking the soul out of me it was honestly some of the best head I've ever received. Shorty went for a half hour until I busted and swallowed everything.

So I wake up in the morning real hungover and tired... I had told her she could meet the dog in my profile which was my old roommates dog. I figure to myself, "well, if we go out with the dog together, she might see us in that relationship light and I can get this threesome." So I say **** it and at 7 AM (we went to bed at like 5 so I'm almost on no sleep right now) I drive 45 minutes, pick up the dog, drive back 45 minutes and surprise the chick with the dog before she wakes up. Well she says she was a huge dog person but didn't even really acknowledge the dog. She woke up, prepared herself a whole breakfast courtesy of my fridge (eggs, bacon, fruit, etc...) and says she has to get going. Never saw her again because she said, "it seemed like you just wanted to have sex with me."

Cliffs:
-went on couple dates w/ freak who was hinting at threesome
-third date I think I'm about to smash
-she tells me she already had sex with new guy a week ago and isn't the type to have sex with two guys at once; gives me amazing BJ instead of sex
-I wake up early and drive hour and a half roundtrip (while hungover) to surprise her with cute dog; she ignores dog; eats all my breakfast food and leaves shortly after

Worst date for me was going out with a girl for my Bday. Started off good with dinner. Had drinks there and started feeling the courage building up. Chick was 20 so she wasn't drinking. Later we met up with some mutual friends. Hit up TGIF and her friends were buying drinks for her. She got lit as **** spilled a drink all over me. At this point the night felt like it was going down hill. They all wanted to go to a bar after, so I was like okay. Then I realized shorty wouldn't be able to get in. She said she would use her friends ID. Shorty ain't even look like the girl on the ID lol. I saw the line to get in the bar and I didn't feel like wasting time only to have the security tell her she can't get in. So I told her I don't want to go inside. She got mad and I just dipped to the car. She follows me and we in there arguing. Start messing around for a bit. Shawty was acting sloppy though. She throws up all over my shoes and I'm done at that point. I walk out the car and she starts screaming telling me to get back here. I book it and loose her in the parking lot. I head to a staircase to clean myself and just get some fresh air. I'm thinkinh she's passed out in the whip or went to meet up with her friends. So I'm chilling outside and this chick jumps out of nowhere and starts hitting me and scratching me all over. She came at me like a lion to a gazelle. Mind you this is all in public. People just looking and cheering her on lol. Tell her to chill and we go back to the whip. Smash in the parking lot and just waited for her friends to come back. She calmed down after but man that **** was stressful. If any of you are from the DMV and are familiar with Adams Morgan, you know how packed that area is during the weekend. Sad part about this terrible date is that I feel in love with this psycho lol [emoji]128514[/emoji]

Spiceman80 said:

Yall don't be showering my dude? It may sound crazy, but that is a real fear of mine. Meeting up with a chick for the first time and her stuff smelling like hot garbage. I always insist on showers before anything happens :x

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I shower everyday. At first it didn't hit me. As the weekend progressed then i noticed. The tub in the hotel room was dry af. Plus the towels being in perfect order, Nahh that girl aint shower one bit

And i took dam near 2 showers a day

TroyD said:

I shower everyday. At first it didn't hit me. As the weekend progressed then i noticed. The tub in the hotel room was dry af. Plus the towels being in perfect order, Nahh that girl aint shower one bit

And i took dam near 2 showers a day

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Damn fam . Chicks out here filthy as hell man.

Hennessy said:

All my dates been good except for this one short/confusing saga.

Was sick from work one day and decided to go to lunch with fine Asian chick from Tinder. Went back to her apartment after lunch we are just talking/chilling and she tells me her and her friend are looking for someone to have threesome with. We were vibing but I don't make move because I'm sick and she understands and thanks me. I figure I put in my time with this one for the threesome since I've never had one.

Second date we meet for drinks after work and we were vibing again. I'm walking her back to her apartment and go to kiss her. She stops me says she doesn't do PDA. Takes me to this parking garage and starts making out with me there. I get hard, she feels it, unzips my pants and starts doming me up right there in the parking garage. So I'm like, sweet, I'm gonna bang her next time.

So third date, wasn't even a date actually, she takes a cab over to my place at 2:30 AM and even self-describes the encounter as booty call via text before she comes over. I was with it. Had her naked in my bed except for her panties and we were making out for a while but she refused to have sex with me because she "just met someone on Tinder a week before me who she had sex with and she wasn't the type to have sex with two people at the same time...she really liked me though so let's see where things go." I even tried to eat her out, got close, but she wouldn't allow me to remove her panties. So she ends up sucking the soul out of me it was honestly some of the best head I've ever received. Shorty went for a half hour until I busted and swallowed everything.

So I wake up in the morning real hungover and tired... I had told her she could meet the dog in my profile which was my old roommates dog. I figure to myself, "well, if we go out with the dog together, she might see us in that relationship light and I can get this threesome." So I say **** it and at 7 AM (we went to bed at like 5 so I'm almost on no sleep right now) I drive 45 minutes, pick up the dog, drive back 45 minutes and surprise the chick with the dog before she wakes up. Well she says she was a huge dog person but didn't even really acknowledge the dog. She woke up, prepared herself a whole breakfast courtesy of my fridge (eggs, bacon, fruit, etc...) and says she has to get going. Never saw her again because she said, "it seemed like you just wanted to have sex with me."

Cliffs:
-went on couple dates w/ freak who was hinting at threesome
-third date I think I'm about to smash
-she tells me she already had sex with new guy a week ago and isn't the type to have sex with two guys at once; gives me amazing BJ instead of sex
-I wake up early and drive hour and a half roundtrip (while hungover) to surprise her with cute dog; she ignores dog; eats all my breakfast food and leaves shortly after

Click to expand...

Can't be out here buying certified freaks cute puppies man

EyeSeeSoles said:

Worst date for me was going out with a girl for my Bday. Started off good with dinner. Had drinks there and started feeling the courage building up. Chick was 20 so she wasn't drinking. Later we met up with some mutual friends. Hit up TGIF and her friends were buying drinks for her. She got lit as **** spilled a drink all over me. At this point the night felt like it was going down hill. They all wanted to go to a bar after, so I was like okay. Then I realized shorty wouldn't be able to get in. She said she would use her friends ID. Shorty ain't even look like the girl on the ID lol. I saw the line to get in the bar and I didn't feel like wasting time only to have the security tell her she can't get in. So I told her I don't want to go inside. She got mad and I just dipped to the car. She follows me and we in there arguing. Start messing around for a bit. Shawty was acting sloppy though. She throws up all over my shoes and I'm done at that point. I walk out the car and she starts screaming telling me to get back here. I book it and loose her in the parking lot. I head to a staircase to clean myself and just get some fresh air. I'm thinkinh she's passed out in the whip or went to meet up with her friends. So I'm chilling outside and this chick jumps out of nowhere and starts hitting me and scratching me all over. She came at me like a lion to a gazelle. Mind you this is all in public. People just looking and cheering her on lol. Tell her to chill and we go back to the whip. Smash in the parking lot and just waited for her friends to come back. She calmed down after but man that **** was stressful. If any of you are from the DMV and are familiar with Adams Morgan, you know how packed that area is during the weekend. Sad part about this terrible date is that I feel in love with this psycho lol [emoji]128514[/emoji]

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Sounds like God has given you someone special my friend

EyeSeeSoles said:

Worst date for me was going out with a girl for my Bday. Started off good with dinner. Had drinks there and started feeling the courage building up. Chick was 20 so she wasn't drinking. Later we met up with some mutual friends. Hit up TGIF and her friends were buying drinks for her. She got lit as **** spilled a drink all over me. At this point the night felt like it was going down hill. They all wanted to go to a bar after, so I was like okay. Then I realized shorty wouldn't be able to get in. She said she would use her friends ID. Shorty ain't even look like the girl on the ID lol. I saw the line to get in the bar and I didn't feel like wasting time only to have the security tell her she can't get in. So I told her I don't want to go inside. She got mad and I just dipped to the car. She follows me and we in there arguing. Start messing around for a bit. Shawty was acting sloppy though. She throws up all over my shoes and I'm done at that point. I walk out the car and she starts screaming telling me to get back here. I book it and loose her in the parking lot. I head to a staircase to clean myself and just get some fresh air. I'm thinkinh she's passed out in the whip or went to meet up with her friends. So I'm chilling outside and this chick jumps out of nowhere and starts hitting me and scratching me all over. She came at me like a lion to a gazelle. Mind you this is all in public. People just looking and cheering her on lol. Tell her to chill and we go back to the whip. Smash in the parking lot and just waited for her friends to come back. She calmed down after but man that **** was stressful. If any of you are from the DMV and are familiar with Adams Morgan, you know how packed that area is during the weekend. Sad part about this terrible date is that I feel in love with this psycho lol [emoji]128514[/emoji]

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I was waiting for you to say we've been together for X amount of years ever since

Hell nah lol. I like them crazy, word to Marty, but that night was embarrassing and just over the top.

My cuz tells me to go onto Soul Swipe a dating app for black people. He says how he got mad joints off of there and put other dudes onto it too and they were successful. I was never a dating app kind of dude, I'm more into the meet in person see things in real life kind of dude. I'm not a social media person either so a lot of this stuff is new to me. Anyway I create a profile and within an hour or so get a few hits.

The first week or so I chat with a few chicks but nothing transpires. Then this one chick hits me up, we talk and she seems to have a good personality. Her pic was cute too so i'm like cool. After a few days I ask if we can exchange numbers rather than chat on the app. She says cool and we now start txting on our phones, then about a day or two later we start talking. Her voice was so sweet, sensual, and sexy all in one. Her laugh was dope too, not overbearing in anyway. You can almost picture how seductive she looks while laughing. Anyway she tells me she has been on SoulSwipe for a couple months and most of her dates failed b/c the dudes started talking about sex and being real ********** off the rip. I'm slightly nervous b/c I'm like what if we meet and she don't like what she sees blah blah blah, so I hold off meeting her for a few days to build up the courage. In one convo I compliment her and say how pretty she was and something about her being happy. She said how she was blushing, and I thought to myself she must hear this all the time why is she blushing? Anyway one night we are up talking and my phone begins to die. So she says how about we google video chat? It is about 2 am i'm chilling in the living room with only the TV on. We get on the chat, this our first time seeing each other live. Her spot is sort of dark too, but just enough light to make her out. She keeps saying how handsome I am, and I return the compliment but I can't help but notice something is off about her. Her hair is a little wild, her face looks a lil darker than the pics but attribute it all to how late it is. The convo flows so I don't focus too much on it. Once we are done, I go back to her profile pics. All of them are angles, mostly one side of the face, no full body shots. Then there is a group photo on the beach and like three other chicks. One frumpy chick, but you can't make out the faces it is so dark. I look at her pics and another one of her and her homegirl in the club ****faced. That one was cute, and it showed more of her body which was nice and slim so I'm still a little confused and hoping it isn't what I think it is. Anyway, date night comes and we decide to do a movie and see what happens after. She made it clear that some people just don't vibe in person. After that statement I realized how much attention I was giving her, and decided to spread it around just in case. So I make plans with another chick from Soul Swipe just in case things don't go right.

We meet up at the theater, and I'm nervous as hell because I don't know what to expect. WIil she like me, will I like her etc. I see this image approaching me so I look up and man oh man . This chick worked the hell out of them angles. Her face didn't even look the same, it reminded me of that seinfeld episode where he was dating a two face chick. In certain light she looked beautiful, and the other light she was a troll. I played it off and didn't act rude. We hugged hello, I bought the tickets, and she got the concession items. While on line we talked, and I just couldn't figure out how this could be her. I saw that it was her but, when I look at her pics I didn't understand where that pretty chick went. Her body wasn't that great, she had a frumpy look with stomach rolls. I was trying to find a redeeming character that would make me want to smash but I couldn't. Even her voice, as sweet as it was didn't entice me the way it once did. The movie was a late one, and I ended up falling asleep/nodding off a few times. I actually warned her about that beforehand b/c I usually nod off during late movies. I just told her to wake me up if happens. I would jump out of my sleep and start laughing at whatever scene was taking place at the time. I felt bad, but it wasn't intentional. She didn't seem to take offense, she even joked with me about it. She still wanted to chill afterward so I continued to be nice and we had drinks at a local bar and continued talking. The convo was good, I just wasn't attracted to what I saw. I walked her to her car, she asked for a hug and we made plans for another date the following wknd. I started to limit the amount of communication we had during the next few days, then I cancelled the date and ask to do it another time. She agreed, but she got the hint b/c we stopped talking all together after that. Nothing compared to most of you guys, but that is my experience.

^That's not so bad Bro.


Had another time where I had a semi bad date. Nothing that the chick did, it was more of what could have happened. Me and chick were dating and we'd go out to hang all the time. So we go out to eat. We are eating wings and I can't eat dairy products but when you're having buffalo wings you need that ranch/blue cheese. So I'm dipping the hell out of my wings. We get fries and we get them with cheese on top. I'm feeling good though. No stomach pain or anything. She can't finish her food so I take the liberty of finishing it up for her. So more wings and more ranch. Pay the bill and we head out. Minutes after getting in the car and pulling away my stomach starts going crazy. I start sweating and I know what this means. Tell her she needs to pull into the nearest shopping mall or gas stations cause this is it. While she trying to find a spot for me to use the bathroom I'm just sitting there sweating thinking that I'm really about to **** inside the car. I felt like we were at a red light forever. Felt like opening the door and just running as far as I could and poop where ever. So we pull up into a strip mall and I run into a restaurant but that line is mad long. She tells me to go across the street, she said it was a pharmacy or something like that. I run in that place and it's a ******* pet store, no bathroom. They looking at me like wtf are you running for? I turn back and run back to the restaurant and tell her she was wrong about that place lol. At this point it was probably touching cotton. I wait in line and finally get in. To my shock this bathroom ain't got no lock. I literally had to take a **** while holding the door with one hand so no one would come in. I started praying form that day forward.

301216baller said:

Last yr in March

Met a girl online she was a cute Brown skin chick anyways first strike.. She lives in Edgewood, MD outside of bmore but is from Brownsville Brooklyn . I get there sge starts acting funny because she wasn't fully dressed I wait like 20-30 min extra for her..sge gets in and we drive back to DC idk why I didn't just go out in Bmore or crashed at her crib or if worst come to worst my parents crib..on the way to DC were talking and she starts crying because her cousin was creeping with her ex bf and there happy together now.. We get to DC and head to this bar .it's her first time in DC shes enjoying herself telling me thank you for taking her out and she appreciates me we chilled at the bar for about a Hr n some change get some pizza and head Back to my grandparents spot (I was still living with my people's at the time) we get there and head to the basement I'm thinking I'm in there we start kissing then she's like naw I can't let u hit on the first date smh I play it off start tryna Mess with her more then stopped for like 20 min then tried again and still got nowhere..after those failed attempts I Just chill and somehow later in the night we started arguing I forget about what..its like 3 in the morning shes like I'm ready to go..I'm like hell naw I'm not leaving u live an hr away..I'm also drunk as hell... After arguing with her more i say **** it and we leave..only to realize I locked my key in the house and she left her phone in there smh..so we drive back to Edgewood and go to sleep at her spot..she's in the car crying again now she's saying "this is destiny u might be the one" in my mind I'm like this ***** us crazy lol.. We get back to her spot and go to sleep..next morning I call hella people asking if they had a key to my grandparents house...(they were out of town at the Time) on my way leaving out my car was acting funny so I ended up at auto zone luckily some random dude there was able to fix my car that was like an extra 2 hrs( the girl starts crying again saying this date is to much for her)..so I drive to Bmore to get a key from mhy parents then drive back to DC to get her stuff then drive back to Edgewood to drop her off..I headed back to DC and ended up going on another date with a chick that I was talking to heavy at the Time

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Dog.....you drove from Harford County to DC....back to harford county....then back to DC in less than 24hrs and didn't smash :x

That's a TRIP

EyeSeeSoles said:

^That's not so bad Bro.


Had another time where I had a semi bad date. Nothing that the chick did, it was more of what could have happened. Me and chick were dating and we'd go out to hang all the time. So we go out to eat. We are eating wings and I can't eat dairy products but when you're having buffalo wings you need that ranch/blue cheese. So I'm dipping the hell out of my wings. We get fries and we get them with cheese on top. I'm feeling good though. No stomach pain or anything. She can't finish her food so I take the liberty of finishing it up for her. So more wings and more ranch. Pay the bill and we head out. Minutes after getting in the car and pulling away my stomach starts going crazy. I start sweating and I know what this means. Tell her she needs to pull into the nearest shopping mall or gas stations cause this is it. While she trying to find a spot for me to use the bathroom I'm just sitting there sweating thinking that I'm really about to **** inside the car. I felt like we were at a red light forever. Felt like opening the door and just running as far as I could and poop where ever. So we pull up into a strip mall and I run into a restaurant but that line is mad long. She tells me to go across the street, she said it was a pharmacy or something like that. I run in that place and it's a ******* pet store, no bathroom. They looking at me like wtf are you running for? I turn back and run back to the restaurant and tell her she was wrong about that place lol. At this point it was probably touching cotton. I wait in line and finally get in. To my shock this bathroom ain't got no lock. I literally had to take a **** while holding the door with one hand so no one would come in. I started praying form that day forward.

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This was funny as a motherfucca. Holding in a dump is the worst.

EyeSeeSoles said:

^That's not so bad Bro.


Had another time where I had a semi bad date. Nothing that the chick did, it was more of what could have happened. Me and chick were dating and we'd go out to hang all the time. So we go out to eat. We are eating wings and I can't eat dairy products but when you're having buffalo wings you need that ranch/blue cheese. So I'm dipping the hell out of my wings. We get fries and we get them with cheese on top. I'm feeling good though. No stomach pain or anything. She can't finish her food so I take the liberty of finishing it up for her. So more wings and more ranch. Pay the bill and we head out. Minutes after getting in the car and pulling away my stomach starts going crazy. I start sweating and I know what this means. Tell her she needs to pull into the nearest shopping mall or gas stations cause this is it. While she trying to find a spot for me to use the bathroom I'm just sitting there sweating thinking that I'm really about to **** inside the car. I felt like we were at a red light forever. Felt like opening the door and just running as far as I could and poop where ever. So we pull up into a strip mall and I run into a restaurant but that line is mad long. She tells me to go across the street, she said it was a pharmacy or something like that. I run in that place and it's a ******* pet store, no bathroom. They looking at me like wtf are you running for? I turn back and run back to the restaurant and tell her she was wrong about that place lol. At this point it was probably touching cotton. I wait in line and finally get in. To my shock this bathroom ain't got no lock. I literally had to take a **** while holding the door with one hand so no one would come in. I started praying form that day forward.

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Crying!

These stories..oh my

I legit can't name one date that ended bad..*knocks on wood*