Dating Advice: When is it acceptable for your girl to give out her number?

Crazy insecurity. She did it in front of you because it was probably innocent and genuine. First time she's seen her dog being social all day and wanted to replicate the environment or variables for her dog lol. And on top of that, she's not your girl simply because you haven't told her you're committing to her like that... The guy must have been someone you could see her being attracted to you or upon sizing him up you felt he was more than adequate in comparison to you. Probably happened on a subconscious level but that's all I can think of that actually makes sense.
 
Gentrification said:
Homeboy been had da number
Click to expand...
laugh.gif
 
Does she know you cheated OP?

She probably feels like it's no big deal for her to hang out with other dudes since you set the precedent...

Either way, for her to exchange numbers with another ***** in front of you while you in the background with the pooper scooper is wild disrespectful. For her to give out her number to any non-family member who doesn't prefer wee wees deserves an eyebrow raise.

You already know what you're going to do though.
 
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Putting In Work said:
I don't think you should break it off just don't give your all like that, don't waste a lot of money and go all out like she's your main chick.

Keep her on the team and keep smashing until she doesn't let you anymore.

Gotta treat em like a job don't quit one unless you have another lined up and a better one too.
Click to expand...

Real Spill here

Also OP you gotta decide if she is worth the headache or not. As a man you have to nip this type of behavior in the bud. Once your lady loses an ounce of respect for you, this situations will only get worse.

every chick I've ever been friends with has always been cool, not all of them that attractive, but as a man I've had 1-2 impure thoughts about every one of them before :lol: I just don't think it's possible for men and women to have a platonic relationship. The guys who play that role are waiting for a chance to shoot their shot, and the dudes who remain friend zoned do this knowing they will never have a shot.

The dogs owner, exchanged numbers with you lady and probably immediately had thoughts of smashing. Your lady may be oblivious to this but that's besides the point. Given the opportunity the dude will shoot his shot unless he doesn't like women.
 
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This was just an early sign of blatant disrespect right in front on you.  Has nothing to do with insecurity/pride/ego.  Even though y'all aren't officially together, it's still a date and it would still be considered disrespectful even if this was just a first date.  You don't give your number out to another dude right in front of you while y'all on a date for a "play date" with their dogs.  

Unless it's for business, mutual friends, etc. that wasn't cool at all.  

If you haven't checked her already, I would do that immediately and nip it in the bud.  Or just dead her.  

Also, where's pics to see if she's even worth it? 
nerd.gif
 
 
Son got 6 pages of responses, better come in with the update after he talks to her
 
Update: Talked to her last night

Told her: 

- What you did was disrespectful and I ultimately was not comfortable with it and won't tolerate that kind of behavior.  

- We recently moved towards commitment/exclusivity (work events, planning to go to weddings etc.) but we need to cool off because you aren't ready for any kind of relationship right now (backstory below) and I wasn't comfortable with your behavior. 

-(Backstory) What I didn't tell you guys is she is also dealing with a lot of pain and hurt from her past (mom died after a long fight against cancer, friends and ex boyfriend abandoned her during that time she was supporting her mom, which translated into her now having trust issues and fear of abandonment, there have been many cases where she hasn't trusted me) So I basically used that as a way to take a break from this, and say you need to heal your wounds and find closure with the pain you are dealing with first before you start a new relationship with me or anyone else for that matter. Effectively I said we need to pump the breaks and we ain't ready for that level of commitment. 

She said:

-She started crying and was very apologetic, in hindsight she realized and acknowledged how disrespectful it was, was naive and had no intention other than socializing her dog, but knows that on the surface it doesn't look that way and it was out of line, and that she would have felt the same way if tables were turned and I exchanged numbers with a girl.

-She did say that they didn't exchange numbers, she just asked for his, and would delete it if it makes me comfortable. I told her deleting it or keeping it isn't the issue and I could care less at this point, the blatant disrespect  that already happened was, and that can't be changed. Had she included me in the social interaction I may have tolerated it. 

Ended the discussion w/ putting a break on the path to commitment/exclusivity (claiming BF/ GF) until she finds closure her with her past and ultimately give her time to think about how she messed up. This then led to me smashing her out in her room for a good hour (she was flowing down there, I guess emotions get women excited) and then I said goodbye for now. 

Where I stand: I think we'll continue to see each other, casually, but this recent event was a red flag to me in terms of categorizing this girl as someone I would want to pursue a serious relationship with. There were concerns before (still finding closure with her pain and her having trust issues, past drug problem) but I always believe people do and can get better, but this dog play date thing sealed the deal for me at least for now. For me, she's a dope chick for sure, respect and appreciate her on many levels, but after this I won't commit. I'll see other women now and continue to see her casually for as long as that lasts.

Thank you NT for the extreme views and the lolz. 
 
Cliffs

- op told her she was wrong

- crucial info on girl....mom had cancer...friends abondonded her....op said she needs time to heal.

- she said she was wrong for the dog incident....op says its too late.

- feels commence.

-op smashes.

- the decision is made to be friends with benefits.
 
Itt:

OP says he's been seeing one girl whom he wasn't in a hurry to commit to, slept with someone else, aforementioned girl found out about it and gets upset and now he wants to chalk it up because the girl has trust issues and gave her number out at a dog park.
 
a blinkin said:
Itt:

OP says he's been seeing one girl whom he wasn't in a hurry to commit to, slept with someone else, aforementioned girl found out about it and gets upset and now he wants to chalk it up because the girl has trust issues and gave her number out at a dog park.
Click to expand...
A lot of people here giving me the "you deserve it" treatment with the other girl I slept with. While I don't ever support cheating or lying, let me be clear about the other girl situation:

-The other girl is from Europe, who I met a year ago when she was here in the states. We had a short summer fling and kept in touch as friends.

-Prior to me ever meeting the "dog park" girl, the Europe girl made plans to visit me here and the states, to which I agreed and said was fine as I was completely single at the time.  The Europe girl booked her flight tickets. Again, this is way before I ever met the dog park girl. 

-I met dog park girl one month before the Europe girl was arriving. After about 2 or 3 weeks of consistently dating/smashing I told her about the Europe girl visiting, who had booked her tickets months ago already. I was being fully transparent. The Dog Park girl was obviously upset that I was having another girl live with me for 2 weeks, but she understood that the trip was booked way in advance. Plus, one month into it with the Dog Park girl, we weren't exclusive or anything. Ultimately, I ended up sleeping with the Europe girl while she was here, I don't support playing girls like that, again her flight was 1) booked way in advance, 2) we had history, and 3) at the time the Dog Park girl was new.

-The only reason I brought up the Europe girl is because I was trying to give some context as to how the Dog Park girl was reasonable all things considered. People crucifying me for it, I understand why, but it's not as simple as me sleeping around and then getting mad at her for giving her number to another guy.....
 
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Cliffs

-op meets european chick and has a summer fling.

- european girl makes plans to visit months later.

- in the meantime op starts a relationship with another girl.

- feels commence.

- dog park girl is informed of the situation and understands.

- op would like us to get off his back
 
Knowing this girl has past troubles, trust issues, and feelings for you, do you think it's wise to keep her around as a fwb?

Genuine question. Not judging you fam.
 
:lol:

Not mad at OP. European girl situation is very understandable. I might've not been as kind to explain to the new girl though.

Also, you handled things correctly by putting new girl in the fwb zone. Don't ever let her creep up the stairs to the relationship section. Between the drugs and her obliviousness to disrespect, she's not franchise worthy. Bring her off the bench until her knees and back give out, then cut her from the squad.
 
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king milaac king milaac

:pimp:


Might be the first time an NTer listened to some good advice.

I always say man never cut off P unless she cuts you off or you get into something serious.

Dude now is the time to F this chick into the middle of next week, buy some pills and go ham if you have too :lol:, I'm talking about hard ramming and occasional love making if you know she's not messing with other dudes.

Now's your time to get your fetishes in, and also learn a lot about pleasing other women, she would be a good subject to learn from. Find out what she likes and then use that when you're with other girls and just tweak it to the other girls liking because not every girl is going to like the same ****.

Just take it easy and safe, don't get attached and have fun.
 
a blinkin said:
Knowing this girl has past troubles, trust issues, and feelings for you, do you think it's wise to keep her around as a fwb?

Genuine question. Not judging you fam.
Click to expand...
I spent a lot of time thinking about this. She is definitely a "damaged" girl. But I'm a firm believer that a troubled past doesn't determine the outcome of a person's life, some people use it to motivate themselves to never quit, work hard, and make the rest of their life amazing, while others end up abusing substances and people and let it wreck their whole lives and everything in between. 

With this girl, she sort of in a middle ground, she is naturally very intelligent/bright, sociable, but has let the troubled past weigh her down. Recently, past 2 years, she's been on the right path, but there are definitely residual signs of her issues till this day. 

On the fwb thing, I was transparent and up front about the fact that she needs closure on things before she starts a new relationship. I also told her nobody can "fix" these issues except you, with the help of a professional therapist, and I in no way am qualified to fix you. So I think I've been pretty clear about where I stand and leave it to her as an adult to make a decision to continue to see me. The sex is amazing, and the time spent together is fun, and now, the expectations are crystal clear. 
 
Brolic Scholar said:
laugh.gif


Not mad at OP. European girl situation is very understandable. I might've not been as kind to explain to the new girl though.

Also, you handled things correctly by putting new girl in the fwb zone. Don't ever let her creep up the stairs to the relationship section. Between the drugs and her obliviousness to disrespect, she's not franchise worthy. Bring her off the bench until her knees and back give out, then cut her from the squad.
Click to expand...
roll.gif

Putting In Work said:
@King Milaac

pimp.gif



Might be the first time an NTer listened to some good advice.

I always say man never cut off P unless she cuts you off or you get into something serious.

Dude now is the time to F this chick into the middle of next week, buy some pills and go ham if you have too
laugh.gif
, I'm talking about hard ramming and occasional love making if you know she's not messing with other dudes.

Now's your time to get your fetishes in, and also learn a lot about pleasing other women, she would be a good subject to learn from. Find out what she likes and then use that when you're with other girls and just tweak it to the other girls liking because not every girl is going to like the same ****.

Just take it easy and safe, don't get attached and have fun.
Click to expand...
NT came through for me here, despite all the roasting (which was lolz) all the advice definitely influenced my talk with her last night 
pimp.gif


Yes the sex life is amazing with this one, I guess it's true what they say the wilder ones with troubled pasts are usually the best in bed, but with these types it's always important to be 1) Self Aware of the situation, and 2) Honest and not take advantage of the other person. Thank you NT for helping me with 1)  and 2). 
 
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King Milaac said:
Update: Talked to her last night

Told her: 

- What you did was disrespectful and I ultimately was not comfortable with it and won't tolerate that kind of behavior.  

- We recently moved towards commitment/exclusivity (work events, planning to go to weddings etc.) but we need to cool off because you aren't ready for any kind of relationship right now (backstory below) and I wasn't comfortable with your behavior. 

-(Backstory) What I didn't tell you guys is she is also dealing with a lot of pain and hurt from her past (mom died after a long fight against cancer, friends and ex boyfriend abandoned her during that time she was supporting her mom, which translated into her now having trust issues and fear of abandonment, there have been many cases where she hasn't trusted me) So I basically used that as a way to take a break from this, and say you need to heal your wounds and find closure with the pain you are dealing with first before you start a new relationship with me or anyone else for that matter. Effectively I said we need to pump the breaks and we ain't ready for that level of commitment. 

She said:

-She started crying and was very apologetic, in hindsight she realized and acknowledged how disrespectful it was, was naive and had no intention other than socializing her dog, but knows that on the surface it doesn't look that way and it was out of line, and that she would have felt the same way if tables were turned and I exchanged numbers with a girl.

-She did say that they didn't exchange numbers, she just asked for his, and would delete it if it makes me comfortable. I told her deleting it or keeping it isn't the issue and I could care less at this point, the blatant disrespect  that already happened was, and that can't be changed. Had she included me in the social interaction I may have tolerated it. 

Ended the discussion w/ putting a break on the path to commitment/exclusivity (claiming BF/ GF) until she finds closure her with her past and ultimately give her time to think about how she messed up. This then led to me smashing her out in her room for a good hour (she was flowing down there, I guess emotions get women excited) and then I said goodbye for now. 

Where I stand: I think we'll continue to see each other, casually, but this recent event was a red flag to me in terms of categorizing this girl as someone I would want to pursue a serious relationship with. There were concerns before (still finding closure with her pain and her having trust issues, past drug problem) but I always believe people do and can get better, but this dog play date thing sealed the deal for me at least for now. For me, she's a dope chick for sure, respect and appreciate her on many levels, but after this I won't commit. I'll see other women now and continue to see her casually for as long as that lasts.

Thank you NT for the extreme views and the lolz. 
Click to expand...
King Milaac said:
a blinkin said:
Itt:


OP says he's been seeing one girl whom he wasn't in a hurry to commit to, slept with someone else, aforementioned girl found out about it and gets upset and now he wants to chalk it up because the girl has trust issues and gave her number out at a dog park.
Click to expand...
A lot of people here giving me the "you deserve it" treatment with the other girl I slept with. While I don't ever support cheating or lying, let me be clear about the other girl situation:

-The other girl is from Europe, who I met a year ago when she was here in the states. We had a short summer fling and kept in touch as friends.

-Prior to me ever meeting the "dog park" girl, the Europe girl made plans to visit me here and the states, to which I agreed and said was fine as I was completely single at the time.  The Europe girl booked her flight tickets. Again, this is way before I ever met the dog park girl. 

-I met dog park girl one month before the Europe girl was arriving. After about 2 or 3 weeks of consistently dating/smashing I told her about the Europe girl visiting, who had booked her tickets months ago already. I was being fully transparent. The Dog Park girl was obviously upset that I was having another girl live with me for 2 weeks, but she understood that the trip was booked way in advance. Plus, one month into it with the Dog Park girl, we weren't exclusive or anything. Ultimately, I ended up sleeping with the Europe girl while she was here, I don't support playing girls like that, again her flight was 1) booked way in advance, 2) we had history, and 3) at the time the Dog Park girl was new.

-The only reason I brought up the Europe girl is because I was trying to give some context as to how the Dog Park girl was reasonable all things considered. People crucifying me for it, I understand why, but it's not as simple as me sleeping around and then getting mad at her for giving her number to another guy.....
Click to expand...


so......... where the pic at now?

Dog park girl and Europe girl.
 
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king milaac king milaac

Under any circumstance... DO NOT POST PICS... EVER!

I've been here long enough and this site is filled with the most lames on the Internet.

True story bruh.

These dudes on here run to that report button and I've seen them do stupid stuff like contact the person being spoken about.
 
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