- 27
- 26
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2016
i'll preface this by saying that i know there's probably a more fitting place to present this especially on the internet. niketalk means a lot to me i have been a member for about 15 years now. it's my solace. so for anyone taking the time to read this, comment or not, i appreciate you.
as i write this i'm currently at a crossroads in my life that i hope will be the hardest thing ill ever have to do. people always say "things could be worse" and going further in life, i understand circumstances arise but i hope decisions, at least, will not have to be more burdensome than right now.
i'm 29 years old right now and when i was a teenager this was a girl who lived in my area that always had my eye and probably my heart. i didn't know why but there was always something about her. she was beautiful. she was funny she was smart and witty. we never spoke on a one to one basis. she was the popular girl and i was the introvert, overweight at the time with very little self esteem. i knew her through mutual friends and the days of AOL, and then later on facebook etc.
trying to condense as best as i can, i later lost the weight and gained confidence and dated a lot of girls. some serious some flings. but i never forgot about the girl i'm writing about.
almost 4 years ago we were both in the right place at the right time and we connected. we instantly fell for each other, well she fell for me and at the time she didn't know i had fallen for her almost a decade prior.
things moved fast and before we knew it we were in a very serious relationship. the first date we went on, i said her last name and she looked at me funny and i laughed and said "that's not going to be you're last name for long".
during the course of our relationship we had our issues like everyone else but nothing serious, zero infidelity, no major breakups. we were normal...to an extent.
the major factor was that her dad got caught up in something and had to serve time. he was under house arrest the first year we dated and has been serving his time since. the way things look he should be home by the end of this year.
on the flip side my family makes a good living what they do. my father, my cousin (who is more of a brother to me) and best friend all work in the same place. the career is a good one but there are rules in place by the government that disallow any association with certain people for as long as they are employed.
i've had different jobs through my life but none would be more solid and career worthy than what my family does. so running parallel to the time i dated my girlfriend was a time process of me being an applicant to this said career.
fast forward to now it's come to the point and to my attention that the hold up for my approval process is because of my girlfriends father and what i have now learned recently who he has associated with in his past and possibly present.
i've come to terms with forgoing this amazing career opportunity but my problem doesn't end there. my problem arises that how am i supposed to marry this girl i always loved. while my family and friends still hold jobs in a career that forbids association with who could be my father in law. there can be no parties together. that includes a wedding which would also include 3 of the most important people in my life. my father and 2 people who would be my best men.
my father won't be working there forever. i would say 5 years max before he would retire. my cousin and best friend are a different story.
for as much as i have written there's probably 10 times more than i didn't include such as the process and surveillance i've been under during the time waiting to be granted the job. and when i say surveillance, i'm talking deeper than a job interview where they look at your social media. this is the reason why i am posting this under a username that is not my usual username.
my hearing, that's what they actually call it, is june 14th. it is then that they will decide on my character as a person and how if any, at that point, if i have any affiliation with her dad other than seeing him when he was home, just by circumstance of dating his daughter.
my girlfriend is devastated knowing that despite how much we do love each other we'll never have a normal life for as long as my family has their jobs and her father is viewed as who he is by said job enforcement.
it is even at the point that if i did break up with my girlfriend there's still a possibility that i'm not guaranteed the job. but like i said earlier that's not my biggest concern. my biggest concern is our families (more specifically, her father and my father) not being able to be around one another.
i doubt anyone has been in this situation but if you have any input or advice from something similar it would be most appreciated.
as i write this i'm currently at a crossroads in my life that i hope will be the hardest thing ill ever have to do. people always say "things could be worse" and going further in life, i understand circumstances arise but i hope decisions, at least, will not have to be more burdensome than right now.
i'm 29 years old right now and when i was a teenager this was a girl who lived in my area that always had my eye and probably my heart. i didn't know why but there was always something about her. she was beautiful. she was funny she was smart and witty. we never spoke on a one to one basis. she was the popular girl and i was the introvert, overweight at the time with very little self esteem. i knew her through mutual friends and the days of AOL, and then later on facebook etc.
trying to condense as best as i can, i later lost the weight and gained confidence and dated a lot of girls. some serious some flings. but i never forgot about the girl i'm writing about.
almost 4 years ago we were both in the right place at the right time and we connected. we instantly fell for each other, well she fell for me and at the time she didn't know i had fallen for her almost a decade prior.
things moved fast and before we knew it we were in a very serious relationship. the first date we went on, i said her last name and she looked at me funny and i laughed and said "that's not going to be you're last name for long".
during the course of our relationship we had our issues like everyone else but nothing serious, zero infidelity, no major breakups. we were normal...to an extent.
the major factor was that her dad got caught up in something and had to serve time. he was under house arrest the first year we dated and has been serving his time since. the way things look he should be home by the end of this year.
on the flip side my family makes a good living what they do. my father, my cousin (who is more of a brother to me) and best friend all work in the same place. the career is a good one but there are rules in place by the government that disallow any association with certain people for as long as they are employed.
i've had different jobs through my life but none would be more solid and career worthy than what my family does. so running parallel to the time i dated my girlfriend was a time process of me being an applicant to this said career.
fast forward to now it's come to the point and to my attention that the hold up for my approval process is because of my girlfriends father and what i have now learned recently who he has associated with in his past and possibly present.
i've come to terms with forgoing this amazing career opportunity but my problem doesn't end there. my problem arises that how am i supposed to marry this girl i always loved. while my family and friends still hold jobs in a career that forbids association with who could be my father in law. there can be no parties together. that includes a wedding which would also include 3 of the most important people in my life. my father and 2 people who would be my best men.
my father won't be working there forever. i would say 5 years max before he would retire. my cousin and best friend are a different story.
for as much as i have written there's probably 10 times more than i didn't include such as the process and surveillance i've been under during the time waiting to be granted the job. and when i say surveillance, i'm talking deeper than a job interview where they look at your social media. this is the reason why i am posting this under a username that is not my usual username.
my hearing, that's what they actually call it, is june 14th. it is then that they will decide on my character as a person and how if any, at that point, if i have any affiliation with her dad other than seeing him when he was home, just by circumstance of dating his daughter.
my girlfriend is devastated knowing that despite how much we do love each other we'll never have a normal life for as long as my family has their jobs and her father is viewed as who he is by said job enforcement.
it is even at the point that if i did break up with my girlfriend there's still a possibility that i'm not guaranteed the job. but like i said earlier that's not my biggest concern. my biggest concern is our families (more specifically, her father and my father) not being able to be around one another.
i doubt anyone has been in this situation but if you have any input or advice from something similar it would be most appreciated.
@ the reading and comprehension level in here. OP is basically in a catch 22 even if he does forego this career opportunity. His Pops, cousin and best friend won't be able to attend any of the family events that would ensue were he to eventually marry his girl. 
